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Why are some people rich and lucky while others are poor and unhappy? We often ask ourselves this question. Like, he was lucky, he found his path, or the heir to rich parents, or a thief, whatever the pessimist says. But at the same time he himself does nothing to get even a small step closer to their success. We will talk about this and much more in the article.

What is the secret of happiness?

A life position is what affects our subconsciousness, thoughts, actions, perception of the world. The environment, behavior model, field of activity, sincerity will depend on it. From the first minute of communication with a person, it is clear what his position in life is and whether he has it at all.

In other words, this is the attitude of the individual to the world around him, which is reflected in his thoughts and actions. There are two main types:

1. Passive life position.
2. And active.

The first, also called conformist, is aimed at submission to external circumstances and the surrounding world. Such people, as a rule, are inert, do not show any interest in life. They do not improve themselves, do not make decisions in a difficult situation, it is easier for them to bypass the problem. They do not keep their word, they deceive.

The second contributes to the transformation of influencing factors on the individual and situations in his favor. Let's talk about it in more detail.

Features of an active life position

May be:

• Negative.
• And positive.

In the first case, people direct negative energy towards doing bad deeds. They deliberately harm others by imposing their opinions and goals on everyone, which do not benefit, but harm.

A positive life position is characterized by high morality and spirituality of a person. The individual leads a positive lifestyle, rejects evil. An active life position is a guideline that guides a person in the right direction, so that he works for the good of society, strives to benefit people throughout the entire journey.

Truly happy is the person who gives more than gets. It is important to understand that nothing is simply given in life, you need to work hard. And for this it is necessary to choose the right path in life, to think positively, not to waste time on unloved work, to develop.

When and how is it formed?

The foundation of a life position is laid in early childhood. And as the child grows up, its walls either strengthen or weaken. The construction of this framework will depend on the parents and the close environment in which the individual grew up. Namely: from heredity, upbringing, family traditions and other things.

But this does not mean that if a bad life experience was received, the person will not have any or passive life position, not at all, it can be deliberately changed, like character. So, let's get it clear: the formation of a life position begins from birth. Look at yourself from the outside, if you are not satisfied with life, rethink it, perhaps you are doing something wrong. Try to change yourself.

Let's talk about morality

A person's moral life positions characterize his inner spiritual baggage and are based on the values ​​that guide him in life. Morally, the individual develops in the process of life in society, is expressed in the ability to consciously build relationships with people, oneself, society, and the state.

The formation of moral life positions, of course, will depend on many factors, such as the environment, personality, habits, upbringing, family traditions. To form them, you need to develop several qualities:

• You must learn to live in harmony with yourself.
• Build relationships with adults and peers.

A person's moral positions form a model of behavior that leads to the achievement of success and well-being.

How to decide on the best life position?

You need to analyze your life. Start with habits, redefine values ​​and priorities. Change your thinking. Here are some examples of life positions:

• Helping people. By helping, a person benefits not only others, but also himself, because he will be surely rewarded with a kind word, rewarded with a blessing. And this is the highest award.
• Self improvement. Also, one of the best life positions will bring overwhelming success, lead to the achievement of the goal, and the result of work will be appreciated by others. Don't be idle, read books, articles, attend trainings, development courses, play sports, go to the theater and exhibitions. You need to constantly evolve.
• Family and kids. If you have chosen this position in life, then you are wise and smart. After all, this is our main reassignment in life. Work hard, surround children with love and care, help them self-actualize, make family members happy. This is the highest achievement.

Only you yourself can decide on your best life position. The main thing is never to give up, to move forward, not to lose heart. Understand that worries, depression, fears, and bad moods will not correct the situation, but will only make it worse. Spread your wings, take off, dream and strive to achieve your goal.

How to do it?

So, let's figure out where to start in order to develop an active life position in ourselves:

1. As stated above, learn to set goals. Do not set impossible tasks, the goal should be specific, realistically achievable and in a short time. It is better to take small steps towards a big dream.
2. You need to get rid of bad habits. This is not only smoking and alcohol, this can include aimless pastime. Do not sit for hours playing computer games, on social networks, and so on. Spend your weekends profitably, visit museums and exhibitions.
3. Read more useful information.
4. Learn time management. Technology can help you organize your time and use it more efficiently.
5. Don't shut yourself off from the outside world. Get to know him, open up to the new. Change your image, travel. Show interest in unknown arts, for example.
6. Don't be afraid to take risks. Never doubt the realization of ideas. Don't stop halfway.
7. Leave negative memories behind, learn from experiences, and don't look back in time.
8. Surround yourself only with positive people, adopt their knowledge.

To change your life for the better, you need to act. You say, they say, it's easy to say. But again, to sit back, talk about unnecessary things, simply do nothing - no way out, nothing will happen. Start small, learn to think positively, and, slowly overcoming small obstacles, you will move towards your goal, dream.

You will need determination in order for the interviewer to answer your questions.

Get ready for:

- the fact that the interviewer ignores a number of questions or refuses to answer them;

- the fact that the interviewer will expect questions from you and will be dissatisfied if you do not ask them.

This may not be useful if you are always active and always ask a lot.

You need at least two people to communicate. The very concept of "interview" implies a two-way conversation. The purpose of the interview is for employers to get to know you and you should learn more about your future job. After all, you probably do not know everything about your future rights and obligations. Do not hesitate to ask, the main thing is that you know what and where you are going.

1. Discuss your position in the chain of command. Find out exactly who will be your immediate supervisor and subordinate. This is in order to find out your responsibilities.

2. Discuss the availability of a social package. Usually it should include:

- hospital payments;

- payment of annual leave;

- payment for parental leave;

- maternity payments.

Sometimes in private firms, the social package is partially paid. Weigh what exactly you need from work and ask questions based on your own interests.

3. The structure of the work week also needs to be discussed. Weekends, holidays - all this must be learned in advance, so as not to be unpleasantly surprised later when on duty on the day off.

4. It is important to know how payroll is done. There is a significant difference here because of exactly where you go to work. If you are applying for a government service, you will be dependent on salary, and in private firms, jobs are often paid on a percentage basis.

Well, that's all the important questions to ask. Of course, you also need to know about the enterprise, but this is part of the usual style of conversation on the part of the interviewer. In addition to introducing himself, he also talks about the company.

What to ask about.

1. In no case ask about the interlocutor's salary. This is a very personal question. Believe me, even if they answer you, neither the question nor the answer will do you any good. After all, you will be engaged in a completely different business, therefore, the salary will be different.

2. It is also irrelevant to ask about the details of your future work. The interviewer may simply not understand you. His job is to collect and transmit information, but not to provide information about the narrow specifics of production. Most likely, if you are applying for a rare profession, the employer will also communicate with you directly.

3. Do not ask about a former employee who worked in this position before you. Even if his persona is mentioned by the interviewer, do not fix your attention on this point. You should not be interested in how, for what and under what circumstances your predecessor was fired or left. You will learn all this later.

4. Do not ask about the character of the future boss. Nobody will tell you the truth anyway, but earning a reputation as a gossip is quite possible.

5. Also, you do not need to be interested in the peculiarities of the relationship in the team at the interview. By asking this question, you are not only showing your concern, but you are also adopting a slightly sanctimonious stance. You can ask all these questions after hiring. Getting a job and building relationships with the team are two different things.

6. It is impolite to ask the age of the interlocutor. Even if this question is briefly asked, there will still be an unpleasant aftertaste. This is a personal question, with it you violate the intimate zone of the interviewer and break the image that he created.

When asking questions, stick to the basic line of conduct. The tone you use should be non-aggressive. The question should be structured in a polite manner. If the interview is of a business nature, limit yourself to the points that we discussed earlier. But if you're lucky and the conversation becomes personal, you should take advantage of it.

What can you ask about.

1. To set a person in a friendly tone, ask about the specifics of his work. It is quite possible that instead of a dry answer, you will hear a lengthy explanation. The interlocutor will speak out and think that you are a wonderful listener and generally a pleasant person. But we warn you - all these questions should be after the demonstration of your professional qualities and important questions.

2. It is helpful to ask about your chances compared to other applicants. Your interlocutor may well give you an assessment of your resume and behavior. If you do not want to work for any reason, then at least find out how people perceive you.

3. Be sure to find out if business trips are likely. After all, you should immediately know what you are going for. It may be that the work schedule is not compatible with your family circumstances, and you, without discussing this, will take the wrong place.

4. For the same reasons, the question of overtime work should be asked.

There are a few more cases to consider.

Do you ask questions when talking to an employer? Of course, ask. This is such a good chance to learn everything you need to know firsthand. By asking questions, you will not only show interest in this position, but you will also be able to show your professionalism. To do this, use professional terms in your questions, clearly specify the purpose of the question and monitor the accuracy of the wording. Eye contact is also important. Let the interlocutor understand that you respect him, but you will not grovel, because you know the value of your qualifications.

In a group interview, you will not only ask questions, but other candidates as well. In this case, the one who asks more questions may be viewed with caution and the less chatty candidate may be chosen. But you need to ask questions, so our advice is to ask only the most important questions. And be careful not to repeat yourself, otherwise you will look stupid. And you can draw attention to yourself with diplomacy and politeness in behavior. If you want to ask a question, first try to get the interviewers' attention to yourself. This can be achieved by raising your hand or by saying "Allow me ..." or "Excuse me, can I ask ...?" While doing this, do not hide your eyes and keep an open posture.

When talking with a psychologist, in order to create a warm atmosphere, you can ask several questions about what the conversation is for, what it can entail, etc. When asking, do not show concern, but speak with a smile. This manifestation of curiosity will force the psychologist to look at you a little more closely and try to understand all the versatility of your “I”.

When testing for professionalism, try not to ask questions unless you find some kind of error or inconsistency. Excessive talkativeness can play a fatal role in assessing your qualities. Separate professionalism from everything that is superfluous, especially from words that have very strong emotional assessments. But you can comment on the interviewer's questions.

Asking questions is one of the points in demonstrating your activity. This is just as important as answering the questions of your interlocutor. Do not forget that questions can change the course of the interview, direct the conversation in the right direction. But also remember that the assault with the questions may be considered intrusive, abstruse, and overly cautious. Therefore, you yourself must choose the form of the question and its relevance. Observe the reaction of the interlocutor, choosing the approach to him. Although, even if the interviewer has sympathy for you, do not load him with questions if you are afraid to disrupt the planned course of the interview.

You will need:

- desire to get a job;

- the actual purposefulness.

Get ready for:

- the fact that purposefulness and activity are often perceived as careerism;

- the fact that initiative is not welcomed in organizations with rigid vertical power.

This may not be useful if you are not going to have a face-to-face interview.

If you are determined to get this job, you need to try to show it.

Give clear-cut answers. You need to be specific, but not dry. Substantiate your claims. For example, to the question "Why do you want to work for us?" you need to answer clearly that it is very suitable for the implementation of your plans. Remember, interview time is limited. In order to show your confidence and commitment, show these qualities when answering and asking questions.

Highlight your professional level. If there is a pause, you can use it for self-promotion. Add something to the answers to the previous questions, insert something about positive plans for the upcoming position. But don't brag about your successes.

Show that you are the right person. Talk about your previous work without undue emotion. Avoid a touch of regret or judgment in your conversations. There should be optimism in your voice.

The initiative will not be superfluous. Don't be afraid to jump into conversation. Even if there was no question, try to continue the topic and speak, as if anticipating the questions. After all, if such silence is allowed, it shows the incompetence of the interviewer. You have come to show your abilities, and nothing should stop you from looking in a favorable light.

Use confident phrases. Do not use phrases such as “maybe”, “if”, “someday”, “not sure”. When talking about the future, replace them with more confident ones “in the near future”, “in my plans”, “my opinion”, “I will”. This will give you the impression of someone who knows exactly what he wants.

Purposefulness - movement towards a clearly set goal. In this case, your goal is work. Therefore, it is important if, when talking on professional topics, you show determination in your external manifestations.

Non-passive behavior. Don't let them interrupt you, apologize and carry on. In order for the picture of your qualities to be complete, you need to have time to say everything that you have prepared. Some interviewers interrupt on purpose to see how you react.

In almost all areas, commitment borders on responsibility. These qualities are very much appreciated for professions in the non-production and production spheres, since this work implies the fulfillment of a certain plan.

But an active life position allows you to immediately show your ability to find a common language with people who are completely different in character and temperament.

For the education sector, being active is one of those qualities that will be welcomed. This is an indicator that you will not only stick to the plan, but also actively expand its boundaries. For example, the creation of optional circles by the teacher is a plan. And attracting students to them by creating interest is an active life position.

For the sphere of creative activity, indicators of your activity will be creativity of thinking and originality of approaches to solving problems. And passivity will be noticeable if you do not show initiative in the conversation, do not complement the interlocutor and ask questions.

For the production sector, your dedication and activity will be important. The first will help to complete the planned amount of work, and the second - to overfulfill it. Therefore, the demonstration of these qualities is essential.

But for the service sector, we advise you not to be so active. It is assumed that you will act according to the plan of your bosses, and the leader's excessive manners can lead to the thought that you are one of the "flyers" who very often change jobs precisely because of unrealized personal plans.

If you are an active person by nature, it will not be difficult for you to make a good impression.

But if you are not confident in yourself, you will still have to tune in to the conversation before the interview.

First of all, prove to yourself that you need it, this is your goal. Remember the reasons why you were going to get this job at all. Perhaps this will spur you on to more active behavior.

Remember, self-confidence is the key to success. Highlight as many of your positive qualities as possible. This way you can counterbalance the disadvantages. For example, if there is no work experience, then you need to emphasize to the interviewer that you are trainable and can quickly assimilate new information.

There is nothing you cannot do. This refers to the specifics of the future profession. You must say that there is nothing difficult in the future work, not because you easily judge it, but because you will make an effort to be in time and do everything.

Ideally, you will get a strong-willed, decisive, purposeful and active image, moreover, friendly and sociable. Now you need to remember that you are not going for a month, a year or two. Work should be constant, stable, and the whole routine of your life depends on it. You have a lot to decide for yourself, to determine what you are ready for in order to fit the position. Think about your future responsibilities and rights, and if you are an active person (or want to seem like that), then, in addition to the answers, you should discuss some questions.

You will need:

- ability and willingness to smile;

- a mirror and friends who are ready to rate your smile.

Get ready for:

- the fact that a smile will not cause any response;

- the fact that you will be remembered as an open and cheerful person;

- the interviewer may think that you are laughing at him.

- work involves a serious attitude;

- the atmosphere will be strict and clearly very formal.

In an interview, the most important thing is how you will impress the interviewer. Therefore, it's time to talk about how to behave when meeting and communicating with your interlocutor.

The first thing to look out for is a smile.

Why do you need a smile? Smiling is a surefire way to demonstrate your friendliness and openness. A person who smiles quickly disposes to himself, evokes positive emotions. Therefore, you need to smile, and it will be easier for your interlocutor to tune in to easier and warmer communication.

General advice. You should smile even before you enter the office. Remember something good, kind, bright from your life. Not funny, but kind. Maybe a memory of a long-awaited gift will emerge from childhood. Or remember how you were presented with flowers. In general, you need to recharge with the emotions that you experienced then. And your smile will be addressed primarily to yourself. Believe me, it will transform your face and give the desired effect when meeting the interviewer.

Say hello when you enter. It doesn't matter how many employees sit in the office. Introduce yourself and explain why you came. After that, a person will be determined who will deal directly with you. Go to his table and once again say hello to him specifically. After your interlocutor introduces himself, smile and say "Very nice."

The charm of a smile lies in the fact that the interlocutor perceives it as his personal merit. This will set the wave of communication in a polite way, and it will be easier for your interlocutor to start their work. One and the same line of behavior is not suitable for all situations, and it is impossible to select only one smile for all cases during an interview. Several types of it need to be discussed depending on the area of ​​your prospective job.

Service industry (salespeople, consultants, hairdressers, waiters, bartenders, etc.). Almost all professions in this area include the ability to smooth out conflicts, attract a buyer or client, persuade them for a service (for example, to purchase a paid warranty for a product). Thus, close contact with people is carried out. Therefore, your appearance directly affects the quality of your work. It follows that the interviewer wants to see a non-conflict, sociable person. To fit into his ideal, take advantage of our advice: a smile should be attractive, with a touch of charm, inviting, unobtrusive. Therefore, be sure to show your ability to please in simple ways.

1. Smile after each answer, half-smile, without separating your lips.

2. Be sure to separate the smile from the words. You need to show your professional suitability, not giggle.

3. Smile if you meet eyes, also a half smile.

4. Avoid American smiles in all thirty-two teeth, this is more suitable for other fields of activity (models, for example).

Office services (managers, realtors, operators, etc.)

In this area, a blooming smile is welcomed, your future colleagues should be infected with energy from it. So bloom to your health, smile, showing your teeth, and more strongly than in the first case, push the corners of your lips.

Your smile should be open, energetic, with shades of confidence and efficiency.

Your interviewer needs to see a confident person, so the most important thing is not to overdo it and not seem ridiculous. So:

- try to smile, starting the answer to the question, remove the smile after the first words;

- when looking eye to eye, show a blooming smile;

- for serious questions, let's answer without a smile, but be sure to smile after difficult ones, so you will demonstrate self-confidence.

Non-production area (accountants, researchers, etc.).

Professions in this field do not involve close communication with potential clients. When interviewing for a position in this area, you should know that your professional qualities will be assessed here. Therefore, after a general greeting, you should remember our advice: the smile should be a little dry and restrained. Of course, you shouldn't look like a biscuit, but if the interviewer notices that you are overly smiling, it may lead him to think that you do not fit the appearance of an accountant. So:

- stick to a polite smile;

- do not smile when you ask questions on a professional topic;

- restrain a smile so that the interlocutor will notice it, he will appreciate your efforts to impress.

Production area (any professions related to the production of something).

When interviewing, you definitely need to demonstrate your ability to connect with people. After all, you will most likely work in a team (and not a small one). For this vacancy, the interviewer intends to hire a non-conflicting, unsharp person.

Our advice is this: the smile should be friendly, open, balanced, simple. It should be remembered about the general advice, they are most suitable for this situation. But your whole appearance should speak of a non-aggressive position.

1. The more often you have a half-smile on your face, the better (but know when to stop!).

2. If the questions are of a personal nature, you can answer with humor (a little).

3. All answers should be enclosed in quotation marks with a smile (smile - answer - smile).

The sphere of education and the sphere of creativity.

Professions in these areas imply a certain approach to work. Therefore, it is important to remember the following: behind smiles, your professional qualities may not be considered.

A smile should be confident and charming, unobtrusive, without shades.

If you show too much smile, you may be considered an irresponsible person, and then your chances of getting a job will decrease.

The magic of a smile lies in its charm and timeliness.

In no case do not smile when filling out the questionnaire, this can be interpreted as an awareness of superiority over the interviewer.

Do not smile when you are being tested, this may be perceived as an accompanying sign of deception and cunning.

A smile is not appropriate for any embarrassment of the interlocutor.

Do not move your lips abruptly - this may indicate the fake and tightness of your "friendly" smile.

When answering, you can smile at the first words of a sentence.

You will need:

- good mood;

- a cheerful, open look.

Get ready for:

- the one behind the interviewer's back will be a window, which will be very unpleasant for the eyes;

- the fact that if you wear glasses, it will be difficult to follow all the tips.

This may not be useful if:

- you are unwell and wear dark glasses even indoors;

- you prefer not to draw attention to your eyes for one reason or another.

As mentioned, the eyes mirror your condition. In order to fully utilize the useful resources of the gaze, it is necessary to force the eyes to speak.

You have to assure the interlocutor of the sincerity of your behavior. Therefore, do not be afraid to look in the eyes, because you have nothing to hide.

A fresh, vigorous first glance is the very first positive quality that is taken into account at the first impression. Such a look will give you self-confidence, good rest, a charge of good mood and an energetic breakfast. Tip: Don't eat a lot before your interview, otherwise your eyes will be sleepy.

Attention is in the eyes. When discussing issues, do not lose the thread of the conversation, do not lose value, but do not be distracted by trifles.

A giggle in the eyes together with a half-smile will give the impression of an energetic person. The main thing is that your eyes are burning with anticipation of a new job.

Comprehension in a glance. Together with a nod of the head, as it were, confirm what you have heard with your eyes. This will demonstrate your agreement.

The ability to demonstrate energy and optimism in a look is not given to everyone. Learn to use the beauty and emotional intensity of your eyes.

When you smile, your eyes should also smile. Otherwise, you will give the impression of prudence and tension of a kind mask.

When talking to an interviewer, look at his behavior. If he hid his eyes behind his glasses, you cannot predict whether he will be ready to meet your eyes.

In any case, try to look at the bridge of the interlocutor's nose when answering. And if the answer is long, then look at the object in his hands. But in any case, do not run your eyes.

If you look in your eyes, don't squint. This gives your gaze a pointed focus and scares off the interlocutor.

Gazing is also inadmissible. One gets the impression that you are expecting a mistake or embarrassment from your interlocutor.

Don't turn your eyes to the ceiling. If this makes it easier for you to remember something, it is better to close them for a moment. The same effect is given by looking at the objects in front (on the table).

Don't blink often. This usually comes from excitement, so breathe evenly, calm down.

Don't be eyed. This does not tell you about your professionalism and ability to restrain yourself.

Do not look away sharply. This is a sign that something has hurt or scared you.

The magic of your look is the ability to infect others with optimism and positiveness. Even when discussing problematic issues, this view should not fade. For example, when asked about the reason for leaving your previous job, answer positively, with cheerfulness, even if you have terrible memories. Your gaze should be an indicator of your attitude to work.

The ability to restrain yourself is also important. If something in the appearance or behavior of the interlocutor makes you laugh, be distracted by the documents. In no case do not allow sparks of laughter to dance in your eyes when the interviewer is embarrassed. Better to keep answering tactfully.

Avoid mocking eyes. The interlocutor will definitely take your opinion on his account, and the atmosphere of the interview will be spoiled by his dissatisfaction.

Sparkles in the eyes always attract attention. This is an indicator of your intelligence, immediacy and ability to survive in a team. Creative people perceive them as a sign of your uncommon nature. Restrained people perceive them as an indicator of optimism and cheerfulness. Psychologists and people who are well versed in human psychology perceive bright, expressive eyes as an indicator of the level of intelligence.

It is worth considering whether you, by virtue of your character, will be able to look a stranger in the eye. Even so, your gaze should still be energetic and optimistic.

Tip: direct him a little over the shoulder of the interlocutor, then he will have a chance to notice your eyes and see the emotional coloring.

Advice: if something alarmed you, do not cling to your eyes at everything that comes across on the horizon. Stop your attention on one thing and concentrate, but not for long.

Do not answer with your eyes fixed on any object. It gives your image a sense of meaninglessness and distraction.

Sometimes even people with soft and friendly eyes can be cold or very hard. This is due to the structure of the face or the color of the eyes. As a rule, black eyes confuse the interlocutor, and the heavenly blue gives some coldness. Green eyes always seem crafty, and if the shade is dark, then cruel. Therefore, in such cases, glasses can be used as an addition to the image and style. This is the best option in order to look like a serious professional, and at the same time hide a flaw. In case you decide to follow the advice, remember that glasses in no case should be sunglasses. Only the smallest change in the shade of the glasses is allowed, preferably in the direction of gray or blue, since these cold colors exclude frivolity and flirtatiousness. The frame is better to choose thin, classic, metal.

And as an alternative to wearing glasses, you can suggest not to hypnotize the interlocutor, but to compensate for the lack of glances with smiles and gestures

How to determine what look you have.

Ask your friends and acquaintances what they like about your game with their eyes and what they don't. Often we look at ourselves in the mirror with one expression on our face, and at other people with another, without realizing the difference. And our loved ones always know how to assess our views. Compare their opinions, choose a middle ground, and convince yourself that the person you are talking to is a very pleasant person. Accordingly, your behavior will change, and you can hide your flaws through friendliness and sign language.

During a conversation, you can look: at the lips of the interlocutor, at his fingers, at documents, at the edge of the table, over the shoulder of the interlocutor, in his eyes, at the pen in his or his hands.

You cannot look: at your nails, at the ears of the interlocutor, out the window, at the ceiling, into nowhere.

Remember that not only your eyes will make a good impression, but the whole range of your external manifestations of internal emotions. Everything should be balanced: posture, and gestures, and the timbre of the voice, and manner, the construction of sentences, and eye movements. All this is necessary to create the image of a person confidently applying for a vacancy, who knows for sure that this job is for him.

You will need:

- exposure;

- a few more interviews to gain experience.

Get ready for:

- the fact that you will have to train for some time;

- the fact that during a stressful interview it will not work.

This may not be useful if equanimity is natural to you.

It is not only in smiles that you need to know when to stop. Any, even a positive emotion can bring not only benefit, but also harm if it is pronounced and accompanied by excessive fussiness. At the first meeting, you need to give the impression of a calm and balanced person.

You have prepared for the interview and are in the mood for a conversation. But still, you may be nervous, expecting a dirty trick in the question.

Tip: stop thinking about things that haven't happened yet; concentrate on your answers; follow the construction of your sentences, the literacy of speech.

This will distract you from nervous assumptions.

How can you express calmness? Calmness is a stable, balanced inner state, when none of the emotions stand out from the others. And since the inner state always manifests itself outwardly, the interviewer can draw on your ways of expressing it. Let's highlight a few points worth paying attention to.

1. Mimicry.

In addition to smiling, watch the muscles in your face. Do not frown, do not curl your lips. Try not to squint your eyes, the interlocutor may think that you are looking for a mistake in his words. Your face should be calm and friendly. Only lips and eyes should "speak".

Pay attention to the voice. No overly emotional coloring. Pause between sentences, don't jabber. Think a little before answering a question in order to voice a ready-made proposal. This will make you more confident in pronouncing phrases and will be less likely to stutter. Even if you are worried, by no means let yourself get stuck in words. In case of speech errors, do not get hung up, correct yourself, apologize to the interlocutor and keep talking. This will show your confidence.

3. Eyes are the mirror of the soul.

You can easily read your inner emotions in your eyes. If you are calm, try not to shy away from the gaze of the interlocutor, demonstrate your equanimity. But if, nevertheless, excitement appeared, take your gaze for a few seconds to any specific object. Preferably on the one on the interviewer's table. This respite will give you an opportunity to calm down. In no case do not run your eyes, do not look at your shoes, nails, so you can show the interlocutor that you are inattentive to the conversation.

4. Gesturing.

Psychologists around the world agree that gestures help express thoughts. Moderate body language can be helpful if you find it difficult to make a suggestion. This is a nod of the head (as agreement), and movement of the body forward (with attention), and gestures of the arms and legs. Try not to distract the interlocutor's attention by using moderate gestures.

Speaking about the external manifestations of the internal state, do not forget that your appearance should be calm, no matter what.

Equanimity is a stable mental state that does not fluctuate from external stimuli.

First of all, you should not be distracted by the presence of strangers (personnel from the HR department or other premises where the interview is taking place). All your attention should be directed only to the interviewer.

Second, ignore the noise.

Thirdly, even after making a mistake, do not get lost and continue on.

Fourth, remember that the behavior should not be aggressive. Believe me, it is very rare that there are people who are not worried at the interview. But it is imperative to show only the good sides.

In this case, the question logically arises about the physiological characteristics of the organism that reacts to stress.

External manifestations of inner excitement and how to deal with them.

1. Redness of the skin of the face.

Don't be alarmed if you feel a fever and an increased heart rate. If you noticed the ability to blush before, then, of course, you may become uncomfortable. Try to control your breathing, breathe only through your nose, shallowly and infrequently. Thus, the heart rhythms will calm down, less oxygen will enter the blood and after a few minutes the blush will disappear.

2. Increased sweating.

From excitement, beads of sweat may appear on the palms. Do not touch your purse, it may leave traces of your excitement. Do not wipe your palms on your knees, it at least looks childish. Relax your arms so that there is no tension in the hands. If the interview environment is not very dry and formal, you can use a handkerchief to wipe your palms. If the interview is very serious, during morning hygiene (or just before entering the office), you can apply an antiperspirant spray with a mild odor to your hands.

3. Trembling in the fingers.

At the beginning of a conversation, fingers may tremble from internal stress. Pick up a bag or pen. This phenomenon depends only on your anxiety, concentrate and after a while everything will pass. The main thing is, when passing the papers, keep your fingers tight, then your weakness will be less noticeable.

Regardless of all the possible manifestations of anxiety, ignore them. Then it will be easier for you to calm down and tune in to communication. Even if your interviewer notices them, he will definitely look at your reaction. Purposefully moving towards a positive outcome of the interview, not paying attention to some of the characteristics of your body, is the height of equanimity.

And besides, all these phenomena are short-term, so do not waste your time on trifles. But we have to consider another separate feature that can help us in the interview.

You will need:

- mirror for training;

- some time to put your hands in order.

Get ready for:

- the fact that the interviewer will be distracted by your gestures;

- the fact that unforeseen situations will arise.

This may not be useful if:

- at the interview, you almost never have to communicate personally.

As we have already defined, gesticulation is the expression of thoughts and emotions through body movements. The most important positions are occupied by facial expressions and hand gestures. Facial expressions most often express momentary emotions: joy, fear, misunderstanding, surprise, attention. And hand gestures help express your view of something. They reveal your character, the essence of your inner "I", your relationship to the world around you. So it's time to talk about how you can use gestures in an interview.

Like a smile, they should differ depending on the kind of your future activities. It is necessary to analyze each case separately.

Service sector. By the nature of the professions in this area, namely because of close contact with people, you need to look like an unsharp, coarse person. At the same time, hand movements should be smooth, soft, unsharp, unobtrusive. Most likely, they will not pay special attention to your gestures. But on the other hand, you will add external attractiveness to yourself. The overall impression of gestures and smiles should be good.

Non-production sphere. There is no need to particularly gesticulate, the movements should be firm, confident. You need to show the ability to control yourself and not be distracted by emotions from your immediate tasks. These movements will reassure the interviewer that you are a professional.

Office services. Here, gesticulation is more acceptable, the interviewer will certainly appreciate the clear, verified movements. But the inclusion of smooth gestures will not hurt, since you still work in a team. It is imperative to convince the interlocutor that you are confident in yourself and are fully responsible for yourself.

Production area. It is advisable to gesticulate only to the point, without excessive emotional coloring. You will not benefit from being considered overly impressionable. Therefore, only such business movements will characterize you as a balanced person.

The sphere of education. Gesturing is important, so the movements should be smooth, verified, emotional coloring is acceptable. It will be easier for you to express your thoughts and prove professional suitability. Of course, you should not use gestures throughout the conversation, but they will help you prove that you are capable of teaching children.

Creative sphere. This is where you shouldn't restrain yourself too much. You must compensate for your lack of experience or education with the charisma of your behavior. Of course, you cannot be a windmill, but you should understand from your gestures that you are an extraordinary person with great creative potential.

In any case, you should never use excessive and meaningless gestures. It can show your inner anxiety, worry, and insecurity. In the modern world, these qualities are not appreciated.

Now is the time to talk about what not to do.

You can’t pull your hair, wind it around your fingers, move it around like a brush, this is regarded as coquetry and inability to concentrate on thoughts.

You don't need to straighten your clothes and dust yourself off unnecessarily. This will distract your attention from the questions, and your interlocutor may be convinced that you are thinking more about the appearance than about the interview. All this must be done before entering the office.

Do not bite your nails or burrs. Alas, your culture score will decrease in the interviewer's eyes with such hand movements.

Do not scratch your head or back. Distract as little as possible, otherwise you will push the interlocutor away with these gestures, they are very personal in nature.

Do not bang your knuckles on the table, do not crunch your fingers. This way you can behave in a more relaxed environment.

What to do, if:

Open parts of the hands and face itch. With gentle movements, bring your hand to the desired place and rub it slowly with your fingertips. Do not scratch with all your might.

A strand of hair is knocked out. Try to catch the moment when you can bend or turn. Just put it behind your ear, don't waste time on complicated procedures.

You need to take a questionnaire form. Hand movements should be unsharp and accurate. This will demonstrate the respect for documents.

An object fell. Do not make fussy unnecessary movements, apologize and calmly pick up what you need, in the end, it is not you who are to blame, but the force of gravity of the earth. If you are standing, squat down, do not bend over.

In general, hand gestures directly depend on the temperament and mental state of a person. Sanguine and phlegmatic people are highly valued in the labor market. Despite the complete opposite in terms of mobility, both types resist well with strong and prolonged irritation. But choleric and melancholic people - some are unrestrained, quick-tempered, the latter poorly resist the effects of strong stimuli. Therefore, if your hands cannot benefit you, do not at least harm your appearance with untimely movements and postures that are closed for communication.

Avoid pointing your finger at objects, if necessary, use the entire hand. And most importantly, don't let yourself be distracted by gestures. If you rehearse in front of the mirror at home before the interview, you will be more successful than improvising on the go. Remember that facial expressions and movements are just the first and not at all the main steps on the road to a new job.

You will need:

- workout;

- psychological adjustment for openness.

Get ready for:

- the fact that you will be placed in uncomfortable conditions for creating a stressful situation;

- the fact that if the interlocutor dislikes you, it will be very difficult to maintain open poses.

This may not be useful if:

- you prefer to be natural;

- during the interview, you cannot think of anything other than questions.

Gesturing shows your general state, whether you are open to communication or, conversely, closed. Therefore, we will analyze several poses that show your willingness to communicate carefully and constructively.

The first thing we will pay attention to is the moment when you entered the office. After all, these are the most important moments for establishing the necessary contact.

Hints.

Walk confidently and firmly as you walk to the interviewer's table. Don't keep your bag in front, this is a sign of anxiety.

After stopping directly at the place where you will sit, stand up straight, do not cross your legs. The support should be on both legs, but if you put your leg forward a little, this can be perceived by the interlocutor as a decisive challenge.

Do not rest your hands on your hips, and also do not hide behind your back. Ideal: a bag in one hand, the other rests with your fingertips on your intended chair.

After you sit down, hang your purse on the edge of a chair or place it on your lap (if it is small). In no case do not put the bag on the interlocutor's table, by doing this you violate his personal space. If, for one reason or another, you cannot leave the bag next to you, ask the interviewer where you can leave it. It is worth doing the same with an umbrella and outerwear.

In general, if you are actually open to communication, you will subconsciously assume an open position. But if you feel a little shy, you need to arm yourself with our advice.

1. Hands in the lock. Maybe clenching your hands will give you confidence, but try not to do that anyway. Most often, this means that from the very beginning you have a point of view on everything and will consider issues from your own angle. This is a demonstration of a kind of filter through which you will pass all the information.

2. Crossed arms - an indicator of your shyness and unwillingness to be completely sincere in answers. You seem to close yourself off from possible dangers and do not want to let go of the manifestations of character. Remember that you are in an interview, not an interrogation, and do not cross your arms.

3. Legs are too folded one on top of the other, or even braided. This can speak either about manifestations of vulgarity, or about the infantilism of your psyche. Children usually braid their legs to feel more confident. And throwing your legs one on top of the other in the thigh area speaks of a certain arrogance and inconsistency in your character.

4. Do not slouch, pinching the bag with both hands on your knees and tucking your legs under the chair. This is a sign of pessimists and people with low self-esteem. Do everything in order to present yourself in a favorable light.

5. You can not tap your foot, this breaks the usual rhythm of work for the interlocutor and can provoke him to comment. It's not in your best interest.

6. If you place tense palms on the edge of the table, it will tell the interviewer about your over-emphasized attention. Try to relax. Otherwise, your interlocutor will think that you are expecting his mistake or embarrassment. Everything we've covered so far relates to how you can demonstrate your closed positions.

So how do you need to behave so that you are perceived as an open and attentive person?

1. If your chair is at some distance from the table and you have nowhere to lean on, we suggest the following position that is most conducive to communication. The back should be straight, keep your head straight, do not allow it to lift up (look downward) or go down (look from under the brow is also not very pleasant).

You can cross your legs, but in the knee area. Usually it is more comfortable for women to sit like this. At the same time, make sure that the thrown-back leg does not protrude too much to the side, especially if your shoes are with a long toe. You will feel more confident if you have something in your hands, such as a purse or a notebook with a pen. If there is nothing, hold your hands in a way that suits you, avoiding crossed positions. You can choose one of the following options: palms on top of each other on the knee of the thrown leg, or also on each other in the thigh area.

2. If your chair will be to the right or left of the table, you can lean on it a little. At the same time, rest the surface of your hand from the elbow to the fingertips on the edge of the table, place the second palm next to or on the first. The torso can be slightly turned towards the interlocutor, it is better not to throw your legs, but carefully put them at an angle to the table. If, nevertheless, it is convenient for you to cross your legs, then at the top should be the leg closest to the table. Keep your head straight, do not lift your chin.

3. When you fill out the questionnaire, try to take a position that is comfortable for you, but after filling out, return to the previous one.

Why do you need to observe all this? Your interviewer is quite good at understanding people, otherwise he would not have been put in this position. Do not forget that your task is to impress your interlocutor with the integrity of your character. If you are supported in different ways to achieve the desired result, you will have to constantly be on your toes. But if you think through all your external manifestations of personal obligations in advance, success awaits you.

Surely in your life there were situations when a person repulsed you with their behavior. We are now talking about grimaces, manners, etc. So, start from the opposite and do not repeat any of the movements that bothered you.

Your task is almost complete. You can already show with your appearance that you are warm and friendly (smile), that you are calm and calm (voice, facial expressions, general gestures, eyes) and open to communication (postures). If you do everything right, then your conversation will move in a polite-friendly manner, and the interlocutor will not be annoyed by possible deviations from the conversation. Now is the time to show him what other character traits your person has.

You will need:

- attentiveness;

- rest before the interview.

Get ready for:

- the fact that the interviewer will control his behavior;

- that the interviewer will notice your attention.

This may not be useful if:

- you are not interested in what the interlocutor is;

- you do not want to be distracted from the conversation.

When we talk about smiles, gestures, posture, dressing style, and so on, we're trying to make a good first impression on the interviewer. However, he himself is the face of the company. His attitude towards you depends a lot on beliefs (or prejudices), outlook on life, degree of professionalism and experience. In order not to get into an uncomfortable position, not to seem too smiling and sticky, study the interlocutor, his external manifestations of internal emotions.

1. The interviewer's eyes reflect the degree of his interest. If he looks at you directly, it means that he is listening and waiting for the information that he needs. If the eyes are mobile, this indicates some distraction. Try to raise the timbre of your voice a little so that he will listen to you. If the eyes of the interlocutor are lowered to documents or hands, this is either a test of your activity, or complete inattention and unprofessionalism. In any case, continue with the answer, finish your thought.

2. The interviewer's gestures show his degree of preparedness for such events. The absence of gestures is a plus in the interviewer's work, since the questions are not colored emotionally, and you can answer the way you want. Excessive gesticulation speaks of a certain character warehouse and an attitude towards what is happening. An experienced interviewer will use gestures to indicate the end of the conversation: he will close a pen, a folder, transfer documents, and perform other similar actions. The inexperienced interviewer gestures throughout the conversation to help himself do all the work correctly.

3. Pay attention to facial expressions. Unlike gestures that can be restrained, the muscles of the face very clearly show the wearer's attitude towards a given situation. It will be easy for you to follow the lips, because they are the source of sound, and when asking questions, attention is often drawn to them. Pursed lips indicate dissatisfaction with what is happening. Perhaps the conversation has taken the wrong direction. Curling lips are a sign of inappropriate questions or answers. Try to pause, you may be able to fix the situation.

4. Changes in the volume of the voice, the construction of sentences, the variability of intonation - one of the interviewer's techniques, used in order to knock off your gloss and look the truth in the eye. In addition to these tricks, it is very easy to discern emotions, such as latent joy, negativity, dislike, empathy. Try to recognize immediately those emotions with which you are greeted. The impudent, boorish behavior of the interlocutor usually speaks of the culture of the enterprise, so you should think about whether you are getting a job there, whether it will turn out to be a laundry instead of a house of culture. Sentence structure and conversation style are also important. Adjust to them to avoid overt confrontation.

In general, you need to understand what type your interlocutor is.

A sanguine person tries to conduct a conversation faster, topics of questions arise spontaneously (in addition to the questionnaire). His movements are swift, his tone of voice is not brightly colored with emotions, he looks you in the eyes, knows exactly what needs to be achieved from you, and resorts to his own ideas to achieve this goal. Conversations often take on a personal character.

A phlegmatic person will perform his work with restraint, without emotion, acting according to plan and not allowing topics to change direction. He is not easily embarrassed or disliked. But he always appreciates all the positive that you show.

Choleric people are very nervous people. Their emotions overwhelm the entire conversation, he often wants to hear only confirmation of his words. He talks a lot, gestures a lot and is based on his inner impressions. Distracted by indirect questions, having difficulty maintaining the style of conversation. The result depends on whether he likes you for your personal qualities.

Melancholic people just get the job done. His attitude to the conversation will be viewed through the prism of mood. But more often than not, he simply collects information about you, performing the entire volume of work professionally. Movements are fearful, blurred, postures speak of closeness. He is frightened by bright emotional outbursts, so it is necessary to maintain calmness and equanimity.

In fact, in their pure form, these personality types are rare, more often they are combined with each other or may be distorted due to the peculiarities of the interviewer's work. Regardless of the character of your interlocutor, you need to express all the information about yourself, so look for an approach to the interviewer. Also, some personality traits can be found out using the style in which the interlocutor's clothes and shoes are sustained. Of course, the neutral classical style has long become the standard for the first communication with candidates. But pay attention to the quality of the interviewer's shoes and accessories. Good shoes are an indicator not only of social status, but also of the level of self-esteem. All kinds of bracelets, chains, earrings, hairpins, brooches, cufflinks, etc. are personal notes in the style of clothing. Images of butterflies, birds, flowers are inherent in romantic natures, expensive and stylish jewelry characterizes the conservatism and radicalism of your interlocutor, his dedication and love of order. Believe me, he will collect as much information as you need and useful for organizing about you.

If the interview takes place in the middle or at the end of the day, your interviewer is already tired, the work already seems to him routine. Infect him with your optimism, smiles, lively judgments, stir up his perception and make him pay attention to you. Let interviewing you be a leisure activity, not a job. Take the initiative, have a conversation, or actively help the other person in the conversation.

Another important point is not to cross the boundaries of purely business relations. How to understand that you are personally interested in the interviewer, and the conversation turns into a slightly intimate channel, which is fraught with refusal of a place for you?

The woman interviewer begins to demonstrate her figure, actively moving and revealing the most attractive, in her opinion, facial and physical sides. Mimicry is excessively mobile, lips constantly curl, eyes express interest. Of course, men can be pleased with this behavior, but believe me, it greatly reduces your chances of getting a job. If you become flirtatious and start flirting, you will be judged in other categories that do not in any way speak of professionalism and education. The tactics of behavior should be as follows: do not play along with the interlocutor, let only in your eyes she read admiration, and the conversation will go on as usual. Do not compliment, do not look openly at the figure. Perhaps, due to extraneous reasons, she wants to prove that all men are the same, or just check you with such a feminine trick. Be calm, discreet, and don't let the conversation get too personal.

The male interlocutor tries to show his charm and attentiveness. Of course, there is a possibility that this is your "destiny", but it is safer to find out after hiring. Male coquetry can be expressed by throwing your hands behind your head to show your biceps, a languid look from under your forehead, an open examination of your figure, or a veiled interest in your appearance.

You must choose how you behave yourself. But be above prejudice and think about the situation in a positive way. After all, even from such an attitude towards you, you can benefit for yourself, and only then decide whether to establish a relationship with him.