There is only one person who is capable of leading destiny - you yourself. It’s stupid to sit waiting for the impossible; you need to achieve success, act, be decisive, and show fortitude. It happens that circumstances are against us, what should we do? The answer is simple:

1. do not despair;
2. never give up;
3. set goals for yourself;
4. fight for your happiness, no matter what.

Agree, every person at least once suffered from depression, stress, misunderstanding or betrayal; he wanted peace, a quick solution to the problem. Alas, we must perceive reality as it is. Until there is determination, results will have nowhere to come from.

You can get rid of any obstacle and you need to do it with enthusiasm, understanding that obstacles change thinking, make us stronger, wiser, more demanding.

You should look for an individual approach to every trouble in life, which depends on many factors: goals, values, priorities, etc.

Sometimes it seems that there is no way out, making the right decision is an impossible task. But life goes on as usual, and it is much better to be an active participant in it than to just sit and constantly suffer, and then be angry with yourself because of missed opportunities. Difficulties provide an opportunity to enjoy joys, victories, accept defeats, and adapt to changes.

So how to make the right decision and not regret anything? This is exactly what will be discussed in the article.

The main thing is motivation

Don’t change for the sake of others, don’t prove anything to anyone, just be conscious of the opportunity to motivate yourself correctly. Understand why this is needed, what ways there are to implement your plans, then even a complex decision will be easier.

The most persistent and responsible one who really wants to achieve a result understands that he simply does not have the right to give up.

In essence, a motive is an impetus to action. If arguments can be made, then this can no longer be attributed to spontaneity and thoughtlessness, which means that there is no risk of harm.

It is important to analyze your own thoughts; if in doubt, think carefully and take your time.

Let's give an example

If a girl is overweight and dreams of an ideal figure, then it is wise to follow the example of athletes. You can turn to a nutritionist for advice, and not starve yourself in a panic and ruin your health.

Motivation is great, but it must be real, help in making difficult decisions, and not create new troubles.

Trust your intuition

As a rule, it is better not to make an important decision in a hurry; you need to think, weigh all the pros and cons, but if you need to decide quickly, do it as you originally planned.

Usually the subconscious mind tells us the right option. Whatever comes to mind first often works with a bang.

The more we think, the more questions and doubts appear.

1. Never bring yourself to the point of nervous exhaustion.
2. Don't suffer.
3. Learn not to delay in solving a problem.
4. Act coherently, perceive what is happening without panic.

Before you trust your intuition, think about whether you or someone you know has been in such a situation before, is it possible to predict the outcome, do you have enough experience and knowledge to independently determine the difficulties that have arisen?

Use Descartes Square

There is a simple scheme proposed by Rene Descartes that will simplify the task of making the right decisions.

For example, we are thinking about changing jobs, but we are afraid that we will screw up. Let's plunge into reality and determine how adequate the thoughts are in our heads.

• It is correct not to focus on one of the parties, but to analyze the action with its possible consequences.

It is best to work with a square in written form. Detailed written answers will push you to the right decision without doubt.

• What does a Descartes square look like:

All four questions should be answered with broad statements that will help you stay in the same job or quit, break up, or continue your relationship with the person. We need to find arguments to convince ourselves, to understand how strong our values, goals, desires, and priorities are.

There is always at least one person who is involved in our lives and is ready to help.

From the outside, a friend can consider the same situation, only calmer, reason more sensibly. It’s easier for everyone when it concerns us indirectly.

If there is no such person, imagine that they came to you for help with such a problem, then you will be able to show calmness and a cool mind.

Decide on your priorities

When it comes to something serious, you should forget about the opinions of the masses, inheritance, and collective wisdom.

1. You cannot be negligent or lack of independence, manage your life without the help of outsiders, show your ideas, and do not chase what is trending.
2. Don't let people force anything on you. Everyone is different by nature, everyone has their own purpose.

Based on character, morals, values, hobbies, sphere of activity, priorities should be formed. We get what is close to us and makes us rejoice.

The morning is wiser than the evening

For some reason, the brightest thoughts come to me at night. Naturally, no cherished insight will happen in the morning, but by delaying the moment a little, you can make a worthwhile decision. It will be rethought several times and with a logical conclusion.

Emotions aside

Always make the final decision yourself. Don’t try to push away responsibility, to shield yourself from the problem instead of trying to solve it. Don't rely on luck or a happy coincidence. Be responsible for everything that happens in life.

Remember: The life position of an outsider is a way of existing “as long as no one touches.”

Emotions are life, but you always need to take over and be able to manage them. In the heat of the moment, you can do something that you will regret for a long time.

A person, being at a crossroads when making an important decision, is guided by two extremes - good and bad. What comes after we do or don't do something important? Will it be the end of the world or will peace and harmony reign? Why do we go to extremes? Is there really no middle ground?

From an early age, every person regularly faces a choice:

Should I wear pants or a skirt today?
with a handsome guy or spend an evening with a smart and interesting admirer?
Should I go to college as a vocation or should I listen to my parents in choosing a profession?
Want to get an interesting or profitable job?

You can continue endlessly! How difficult it is to make the right decision when the choice concerns such serious things as the choice of profession or workplace.

There are people in the world who do not doubt the correctness of the decision made. One can only envy them.

Fatalists don't give a damn.

This category of people involuntarily. They do not torment themselves with choice, they go with the flow in the direction where the “finger of fate” points. It’s easier for them to reach out, take out what they’re grabbing from the closet, and put it on without thinking. Go on a date with whoever calls first. Go to study at the institute that... Whatever job comes up first, you will stay in that one for the rest of your life. And, in their own way, they are absolutely right! Why torment yourself with unnecessary doubts if life itself will put everything in its place?

Intuition.

There is another category of people who never doubt the correctness of their choice. These are individuals with developed. Or those who believe that they have this feeling. They never doubt the correctness of the decision made. After all, the confidence that intuition will not let them down will not leave them.

But such people are in the minority; the rest are tormented, tormented and doubtful.

When you doubt the correctness of a decision, the “Descartes square” will help

What does a person rely on when he doesn’t know what to do correctly in a given situation?

It is possible to calculate the development of events down to the smallest detail only if you use the theory of probability. And then the value will be very approximate. However, few of us know how to do this. Therefore, by trusting to chance, you can achieve better results than those when a person intends to “swim against the tide” only in order to prove that the decision was correct.

To learn how to correctly assess the current problem and take the decisive step, use the “Descartes square”.

There are many ways that can show the pros and cons of a decision. For example, you can divide a sheet of paper into two parts. In the first column, write down the advantages that you will gain as a result of the decision made. The second is the cons.

The most effective method is considered to be the “Descartes square”. Now the sheet of paper is divided into four parts, each of which contains a question that requires a detailed answer:

Positive aspects of getting what you want. (What awaits if you accomplish what you planned);
Positive aspects of not getting what you want. (What awaits if you don’t accomplish what you planned);
Negative aspects of wish fulfillment. (What can be avoided if you get what you want);
Negative aspects of not achieving what you want. (What can be avoided if you don’t get what you want).

By answering the questions asked in each square, you will quickly come to the right decision. Here you need to evaluate and weigh all the pros and cons that may arise as a result of your decision, and make the only correct one.

What influences the search for the right solution?

What is the right decision? This is the distance between the starting point (task) and the point at which a person will receive satisfaction of his needs and plans (solution). This process involves all components of a person’s personality: mind, will, character and motivation. All this both helps and hinders the right decisions. Assess yourself, try to remember what exactly motivates you at that moment when you need to mobilize all your efforts to concentrate on one task. Sweep away the unnecessary and remove the unnecessary from yourself.

Confirmation.

When searching for the right solution, a person weighs all the components of the expected success. Choose based on the facts, do not be guided by speculation and illusory “what if.” Ignore information that you consider contradictory, look for a rational grain.

Subsequence.

Every action you take to solve a problem must be consistent.

The vector of thinking about the problem should be directed to one point. Take the shortest route, without being distracted by lyrical digressions from the topic.

Mobility.

This refers to a person’s ability to respond to a changing situation. With the emergence of new facts that contradict the decision you have chosen, you should adequately assess the situation and take appropriate measures.

Concentration.

When making a decision that is important to you, it is advisable to abstract yourself from other problems. The brain’s efforts need to be directed to a specific task, the completion of which determines peace of mind, material well-being, or the future in general.

Selectivity.

Choose facts that are truly noteworthy. Discard unnecessary information, do not consider important what is not worth your attention and effort.

Life experience.

When making serious decisions, you should not rely only on your own experience. Consult with smart people, watch TV shows, look for advice on the Internet or books.

Don't put your abilities first. The successes you have achieved before are a combination of your contribution, the help of others and a happy coincidence of circumstances. Draw conclusions from mistakes, try not to “step on the same rake” in the future.

Concentrate, choose the path you will take to make a decision, calm down and act. In the matter of awareness and development of an action plan, there should not be excessive haste, fanaticism and inflated forecasts about the result. These moments reduce the effectiveness of the process and give victory a bitter taste of dissatisfaction.

3 strategies will help you not doubt your decision

The method of Canadian professor Henry Mintzberg will help you make the right decision. In his opinion, there are three steps to success:

Action.

This process means you don't have time to think. There is a category of decision making that implies that there is simply no time to think. We must act immediately. Then the attitudes laid down by the instinct of self-preservation, personal experience and the mistakes of other people come into force. To properly evaluate such situations, learn to learn from everything that life throws at you. In a specific situation it often saves.

The process of thinking about a situation for a long time is inherent in representatives of Western culture. It implies an algorithm of the following actions:

And the formulation of the problem;
Systematization of the received data;
Direction adjustment;
Assessment of parameters influencing the result and selection of the necessary means for;
Search for alternative solutions and options for the development of events;
Assessment of possible outcomes of events;
Decision and action.

Intuition.

People who make decisions on an intuitive level are guided by inspiration, which they themselves characterize as a kind of “insight” that came suddenly. It happens that a person spends a long time looking for an answer to a specific question that haunts him. He falls asleep and wakes up with this thought. One fine day, he realizes that there is no problem at all, the solution is already in his head. In the subconscious of every person there is a hidden system of knowledge and life experience. At a critical moment, all body processes are activated, which allows you to quickly navigate the current situation.

There are four stages of decision making on an intuitive level:

Identifying the problem and collecting information about it. This process involves thinking, emotional aspects, personal experience and environmental influences;
Concentrating all mental functions on understanding the problem in order to feel the depth and possibility of its solution;
Insight (illumination), which replaces reflection;
Double-checking facts, comparative analysis of the results of developments and final adjustments.

How to make a decision and no longer doubt

So, what is considered the most important factor for good decision making? Of course, there is enough time to think, systematize factors, find the right course of action and choose one solution from several possible ones. To learn how to make decisions you will never regret, use the following tips:

Time and place.

Don't act spontaneously in taking important steps. Schedule time when you can be alone.

If you wake up the next morning feeling relieved, go for it! If not, then the solution is not correct, or not the only correct one.

Making a fateful decision. You get the feeling that there is a wall in front of you, against which you have rested your forehead, and there is no further passage. Step away from the problem for a while. For example, go to the cinema to dispel. Distract your brain from the load that forces it to work under time pressure. But as soon as you feel that the feeling of heaviness in your soul has passed, return to the problem with renewed vigor.

Important and necessary.

Think about the necessity of what you are doing now. Is this really of such value to you that it’s worth the effort and nerves? If you are on the right path, then doubts about the need to solve this problem should be dismissed. If not, then you must clearly decide for yourself what benefit is driving you.

Having made a preliminary decision, do not rush to act. Once again, evaluate the options for the development of events, compare them with previous experience, remember the mistakes of your friends, and only then proceed to implement the planned plan.

The moment you realize that your decision is the only possible and correct one, you will feel relief. Now everything has fallen into place. It’s easier for you, but you have to act strictly according to plan. Do not forget that the result you want to achieve depends on the accuracy of the sequence of actions.

How to make a decision when in doubt? This is a very important question. After all, our whole life is actually a string of decisions made on the simplest and most complex issues. And each previous decision determines what subsequent new questions life will pose to us and what opportunities will open up before us. It’s strange that the school spent so much time on trigonometry, but did not give any instructions on such an important issue...

I have several faithful assistants - proven techniques that have helped me out many times and helped me make the right decision. I learned some techniques at personal growth trainings, some from the works of great philosophers, and some were suggested to me... by my grandmother.

Sometimes it gets a little scary how even the simplest decision can change our destiny. Here is an example from life:

The girl was invited to a party during the week. She was thinking whether to go or not to go. Tired after work. Plus there's an important presentation tomorrow morning. Still, I DECIDED to go. And as a result, I met my love. She got married and gave birth to her beloved children. She has found her happiness and often asks herself what her fate would have been like if she had not gone to that party.

So, the continuation of the scenario of our life depends on our every decision, even the smallest one.

So, back to our main question: “How to make the right decision when in doubt?”.

1st method “Intuition”.

All subsequent techniques are very important, but the role of intuition should not be underestimated in any case. You have noticed that most often we immediately know and feel what to do. For example, I I tell myself: “Listen. What is your stomach telling you? You need to listen to your inner voice. But if this does not help, I use several simple and proven techniques.

In fact, this is folk wisdom, which is the quintessence of the experience of many previous generations our ancestors. They have been noticing certain causes and effects for thousands of years. And they passed this knowledge on from generation to generation. So, my grandmother told me, if you have doubts, you don’t know what decision to make, ask the two closest people for advice. Grandmother said that through them the Angels tell you the best decision for you.

This method can to some extent be called a consequence of the previous method: if your Angel cannot “reach out” to you with the right decision through intuition, then he passes it on through the people closest to you.

3rd method “Descartes square for decision making”.

The essence of this simple technique is that the problem or issue must be considered from 4 different sides. After all, we often get hung up on one question: what will happen if THIS HAPPENS? Or, what will I get if I DO THIS? But you need to ask yourself not 1, but 4 questions:

• What will, if this will happen? (pros of this).
• What will, if this NOT will happen ? (pros of not getting it).
• What Will not, if this will happen? (disadvantages of this).
• What Will not, if this will NOT happen? (disadvantages of not getting this).

To make it clearer, you can ask the questions a little differently:

4th technique “Expanding choice”.

This is a very important technique. Often we become fixated on only one choice, “YES or NO,” “Do or Don’t,” and in our persistence we forget to consider all other options. For example, whether to buy this particular car on credit or not. If not, then continue to take the metro. Because we focus only on the “YES or NO” option, we forget about other options. For example, an alternative to taking the subway could be buying an inexpensive car. And no longer on credit.

5th method Jose Silva “Glass of water”.

This is an amazing, effective, working technique. Its author is Jose Silva, who became famous around the world for the Silva Method he developed.– a set of psychological exercises. This is how you should do the exercise. Before going to bed, take a glass of clean, unboiled water with both hands (you can take mineral water), close your eyes and formulate a question that requires a solution. Then drink about half of the water in small sips, repeating to yourself approximately the following words: “This is all I need to do in order to find the right solution.” Open your eyes, put the glass with the remaining water near the bed and go to bed. In the morning, drink your water and thank you for the right decision. The solution may clearly “come” immediately in the morning after waking up, or it may dawn in the middle of the day. The decision will come like a flash and it will become completely incomprehensible, as could be doubted. This is it, the right decision.

6th technique “Stick to your basic priorities”

The technique is based on the ideas of the philosophers of Ancient Greece. “Ataraxia” is equanimity, calmness. It is achieved when a person correctly distributes the value system. After all, most often a person is restless and suffers from not getting what he wants.

The key to achieving happiness is very simple: you need to be happy with what you have and not desire what you cannot have! (Aldous Huxley)

The wise Greeks distributed the IMPORTANCE of values ​​and their basic priorities as follows:

• Natural and Natural Values like, water and food.
• Values ​​are natural, but not quite natural, dictated by the sociality of all people, for example, the value of having a higher education and other similar stereotypical values. You can free yourself from most of these values.
• Values ​​are not natural and not natural. This is fame, success, veneration, wealth. This is the opinion of others, condemnation from the outside. Or, conversely, excessive praise. You can easily say goodbye to these values!

So, when you want to get something when making a decision, analyze according to the above classification whether you really need it or these are not natural and natural values ​​imposed on you by the stereotypes of society. Don't think about what others will think, but at the same time be sure that your decision will not harm anyone.

7th technique “Wait”.

When making important and long-term solutions, it is important to get rid of emotions. For example, in relationships with loved ones or if you want to change jobs, but are afraid of change.

Sometimes, to make the right decision, you just have to wait. You know that impulsive desires are often difficult to deal with. At the same time, if you wait a little, the desire may disappear on its own. And what seemed a prime necessity yesterday seems completely unnecessary today. No wonder they say: “I need to sleep with this thought.”

To get rid of emotions, you can use an exercise called “10/10/10”. We need to answer the question “How will I feel about this in 10 hours/10 months/10 years?”

Summary.

You got the answer to the question, how to make a decision when in doubt? And now you have to make your choice. When making a decision it is important:

• turn off emotions;
• listen to intuition;
• ask advice from 2 closest people;
• consider other options, expand the choice;
• evaluate all the PROS and CONS on the issues of Descartes Square;
• assess whether the decision contradicts your basic principles;
• if possible, postpone the decision, wait, “sleep with this thought” using the “Glass of Water” technique.

In all other circumstances, always be confident in yourself and in your dreams, don't give up, be optimistic. Do not think about what others will think, but at the same time, your decision will be correct only when, after making it, you will have peace of mind and you will be sure that you are not harming anyone and are not going against your principles.

Don’t be afraid, make your decision, even if it turns out to be wrong, because “No one stumbles while lying in bed” (Japanese wisdom)!

I wish you inspiration and a lot of strength for all your plans and decisions!

Our whole life is woven from many decisions that we make every minute. It happens every second, and even unconsciously. At some moments we think about how to make a decision, at other moments making a decision is required only to perform some actions that are familiar to us. But one way or another, in order to start doing something, you must first make a decision.

Did you know that there are a huge number of things, even life-changing ones, that you can achieve by thinking about it for just one minute. Just 60 seconds of our time.

Is 1 minute a lot or a little?

Perhaps some of you will smile now and think to yourself that this does not happen. And that serious and business people should weigh the pros and cons... Yes, I agree with this, although this already comes after you have decided to act in this direction.

Let's say you've been thinking about changing jobs for a month. So, sometimes, after gossip with colleagues or a meeting with a successful classmate who, in the same time as you, has achieved much more in his life. But then, under the pressure of everyday routine, this unclear desire completely disappears from your field of vision. And once again someday it will appear timidly and disappear just as strangely.

But you just need to distract yourself from all other matters at such a moment, concentrate, ask yourself a few serious questions and decide now and here: how much I want to leave this job. For those who have particular doubts, you can draw on a piece of paper or in your imagination the well-known “pluses and minuses” (the pluses are why I like all this and am happy with it, the minuses are all the things that make me unable to continue working here), We determine what is more and quickly make a decision.

Yes, I know, I know. Now say that if you hurry, you will make people laugh. Yes, this happens too. But you must clearly understand that almost any decision can be made in a minute. Almost anything. It is clear that not all. Here, too, the mind must be turned on.

Well, would you agree that such a non-trivial desire, how to become a millionaire, can be accepted in a minute? No, I hear it in the comments... I bet you, you can read about this in the very exciting and interesting book “Millionaire in a Minute” by Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen. A book about business, I think many will be interested in reading it. The authors claim that you can make the decision to become a millionaire in just a minute. Everything that follows is no longer relevant to making a decision. Do you agree?

And in our fairly common example of the desire to change jobs, there was simply not that minute of time to stop for a minute and make the right decision. You know, I also had such life situations when the decision took a long time to mature, but I did not dare, because of the large number of pluses, to make the decision that I needed. Until the moment when there were more minuses. Most likely, this is normal, and it is quite possible that if I had acted faster, I would not have missed so many opportunities.

The secret of successful people

Do you know the secret of successful people, and why they are so much more effective in their lives than many of us? They just manage to do more in the same amount of time. And they don’t just manage to do more, but they manage to do more IMPORTANT things. Here's a simple secret. If we come to an agreement with ourselves and do one more important thing every day than the previous day, I assure you that our personal effectiveness will increase significantly in a short time.

This means that the next day we will have to spend not one minute making a decision, but two, since we also should have not one, but two tasks. It is clear that no one forces us to go on forever; nevertheless, all our affairs must first of all be brought to a logical result. But if you approach this moment wisely, then the main things will appear regardless of our participation with enviable regularity.

The most important thing: how to make a decision

And here I will give a few more interesting thoughts on how to make a choice.

heads or tails

You are walking along the seashore and notice a strangely shaped bottle half sticking out of the sand.
You pick it up and open it.
A light mist emanates from the bottle, which turns into a fairy-tale genie.
Unlike other genies, this one does not offer to grant you three wishes.
He gives you the right to choose.
Option one:
You will receive five extra years of life if another person, chosen at random, has their life shortened by five years.
Do you want to prolong your life under such conditions?
Option two:
You can get twenty thousand dollars if you agree to get a tattoo the size of a dollar bill.
Will you take this money?
If so, where will you place the tattoo and what design will you choose?
Option three:
When you wake up tomorrow morning, you will be able to acquire a new quality or skill.
What will you choose?

Not a bad test. And how many similar alternatives appear in our lives when you cannot decide what to do in a given situation. Experts advise developing your own system for evaluating options, which is based on many factors: logic, reason, practical experience, emotions, feelings.

The level of our intellectual form depends on how actively we participate at the moment of decision making. That's why it's so important to learn how to choose wisely. It’s not for nothing that they say: “You are what you choose.” By the way, this statement comes from management consultant John Arnold. The apt statement very quickly became an aphorism.

What do you need to do to make a decision?

Let's stop for a minute and find out the most important thing that will help us learn how to make the right decision:

1. These are truisms, my friends. I'm sure you know all this. In fact, you know all this, you just don’t apply it. The problem is that you still need to DO it. And if you do unusual things, it means that you need to leave your comfort zone. But this is already uncomfortable. Is it true? That's why Let's start and get out of our comfort zone.

If you don't know where you're going, it doesn't matter which path you choose.
Brothers Karamazov, outstanding jugglers

3. Defining the parameters, which our goals must correspond to. It is not difficult. Let’s ask ourselves just three important questions.

What do I want to receive?

What do I want to avoid?

4. We are looking for an alternative solution. We try to ensure that our requirements obtained by answering the listed questions themselves generate alternative solutions.

5. We evaluate and verify the chosen solution. Here the queen is mathematics. You will have to compare according to criteria, parameters, technical characteristics, degree of risk, size of resources, etc.

Quick decisions are not correct.
Sophocles, poet and playwright

He who thinks too much does little.
Johann Friedrich Schiller, poet and playwright

6. Introducing the Consequences the decision we made. The most interesting point, in my opinion. It already depends on the power of our imagination. Under no circumstances should you consult with relatives, friends and neighbors at this stage. For them, you must always remain as you are. They will advise you...

7. Required we feel ourselves and our own intuition. We must try to choose the right option and make the right decision, that is, what we feel is right.

8. We make a decision and we are not afraid that we made the wrong choice. We also need mistakes, although not in large quantities. Mistakes are experiences that will subsequently allow us to quickly evaluate the decision we make.

9. Once you have made a decision, you need to understand that will have to act in accordance with it.

I hear your indignant remarks: And all this can be done in a minute? Well, at first, it may not be possible to do it in a minute, but over time, the actions of our thought process will be brought to automaticity, and making decisions will become much easier than now. Well, then, no one is stopping you from developing your own decision-making methodology, I hope that you will definitely share it with us.

Make a decision in 1 minute

You can do a lot in one minute. You can just dream or regret. You can say “I quit,” you can say something important, or you can let something important happen through your silence. You can decide who you want to live with, what you want to do, whether you like doing it. In one minute you can determine your most important desire and understand why life is worth living. In one minute you can read this article and find out how to make a decision.

Find those things, those things, those tasks to start with that you can decide on in just 60 seconds. In just one minute of our time. Value your time and don’t do things that will make you regret the missed opportunities later. Let's act quickly!

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