A funny skit for Teacher's Day from students. Scenario for the "Teacher's Day" holiday for high school students

(The song “Hello School” is played to the tune of the song from the film “The Scarecrow-Meow”.)
(2-3 grade)
The morning begins, begins,
The children are waking up, waking up.
Put on your school uniform,
We all took our briefcases with us.
And with a cheerful smile
We flew to school.

I will learn to count and multiply.
And I will also learn to share,
Hello school!

The school is very cool, very great.
We learn a lot of new things, a lot of new things.
And we solved problems,
Essays were written
In English they spoke
They sang and taught poetry.

One, two, sun, three, four, five!
If you get five, you can play!
Lessons are over, I need to play.
Hello childhood!

ONE DAY
FROM THE LIFE OF A TEACHER
(4th grade)

1st student:
Morning. House. Family. Alarm.
Empty refrigerator.
Bag. Umbrella. The stamping of feet.
And the lesson began.

2nd student:
Cards. Globes. Adviсe.
Theorems and answers.
Discussion. Bottom line.
Unexpected call.

3rd student:
Competencies. Program.
Everything is urgent, like a telegram.
Deuces. Nerves. Corvalol.
Student looking at the floor.

4th student:
Contest. Holiday. Meeting.
Meeting for parents.
Puzzled father.
Entertaining ending.

5th student:
Points. Personality. Height. Problems.
Exercise. Method. Themes.
Here are notebooks, a heap, a mass.
Social class passport.

7th student:
Shop. Price. Expenses.
Two weeks until payday.
Milk. Groats. Cheese.
Empty wallet.

8th student:
Night. Floor lamp. Sofa. Textbook.
The husband is already asleep, the child is dozing.
Teachers' council. Concert. Report.
Thesis. Federal State Educational Standard. That's it! Waste!

1st student:
We all love you very much
And we wish you a vacation!

All:
And Happy Teacher's Day
Congratulations!

Sketch (grades 5,6,7)

The song by V. Shainsky to the words of M. Plyatskovsky “What they teach at school” sounds. Three people take the stage: a girl and two boys (truants).

1st boy.

Where are you going?

2nd boy.

- I'm tired of school!
They will torture you with lessons again.

Girl.

- That's it, what should we do there?
It's better to just take a walk.

The rest of the students leave.

- Hi guys! Why are you sitting here?
Is your watch slow today?

1st boy.

- And we decided not to go to school.
We know how to read, write - what else can we learn?

Girl.

- We won’t go to study anymore.
It’s better that we all find work.

Students.

- And who are you going to become?
After all, to work, you need to know a lot.

2nd boy.

- What? there to know? My dad is an engineer in an office,
Draws directly on cardboard.
This work is good
I don't need anything except a pen and pencil.
I’ll take and draw a house, a square...
Good job engineer!

1st boy.

- And I can be a doctor,
Cut something off or sew something on.
Then I’ll give everyone a newsletter, -
That's all! Free all day!

Girl.

Students.

-Are you laughing? To build a house
You can't get by with a pen and pencil.
You need to know the strength of materials and what is put into concrete.
If you don’t know, this house will collapse.

- Do you want to be a doctor?
Children and adults - treat everyone -
You can't prescribe medicine.
You will harm, not help.

- And who will let you cut a person,
When you don’t know where the ear is and where the eyelid is.

- Well, what are you looking at, huh?
Your affairs are also bad.
About rings and earrings
You won’t even know a little!

- They’ll invite you to the podium in Paris,
And you don't speak French.

- Like a magazine, very fashionable,
Do you suddenly want to read it?
Oh, girlfriend, I feel sorry for you,
I wish you had the Primer in your hands.

- Yes, well, what can I say?
You don't have to be anyone here.
You'll come to the TV
But you won’t find it in the program
The film that is playing there.
And your number won't work.

- Look... you can’t buy
No candy, no pack of chips,
Neither cookies, marmalade,
And neither Fanta nor chewing gum.

- Well, what if you were a banker?
Does it get into your head?
You can't calculate the profit
No, that won’t do, brothers.

- You’re a cook - imagine now.
You can do it quickly, without loss
Read the recipe, cook -
Everything should be tasty.

- Now imagine another one,
The situation is like this:
So I bought a movie ticket.
It doesn't matter who you go with.

- You decided to call Masha.
You need to write a note.
How will you write a letter?
How will you buy her flowers?

- The girls care.
And you will go to the cinema alone.

- That's right, we need to study.
For effort and reward.
You will know everything, you will read everything,
Everything you need, you will find everything.

1st boy.

- Listen to you, decide -
Go to school every day.

2nd boy.

- Listen, cool, you and I
Let's buy the book "Battleship".

1st boy.

- Yes! And we can find out everything
Read about battleships...

1st boy.

- And about the yacht, that one, remember?!
Where you can’t catch up...

2nd boy.

- And about the boat, which...

(three of us)

- Yes-ah... learning is just great!!!

Girl.

- Well, I can read it
About hairstyles, shoes, colors...
Yes, you can’t count everything.

Students.

- So what, have you been convinced?
And to comprehend everything at the right time,
will help you(all together) TEACHER!

Children sing the song “Congratulations” to the tune of V. Shainsky’s song “What They Teach at School.”

______________________________________________

New Russian grandmothers. (8 classes)

1. Hello, dear ones!

2.I was assigned..

1. Spend today...

2. Don't interrupt me! I was assigned...

1. Spend today...

2. Don't interrupt me! I was instructed (look at 1 grandmother) to conduct... (look again).

1.Hold today's concert..

Pause

2.Why are you bothering me?

1. Because you don’t know how to conduct a concert. If, for example, a singer is performing now, how will you announce her?

2. I’ll say that he will speak now...

1.I'll tell you! ..The singer must be announced by singing. (sings.) Now a singer will perform, she will sing for you...

2. Ha ha..! Interesting! And if acrobats perform, how will you announce them? Over your head? Somersault?

1.But you will announce the acrobats.

2. No, I’ll announce everything.

1.Why?

2. Because the concert must be conducted by a savvy and decisive person.

1.You speak as if you are going to lead not a concert, but a ship in a storm. Just think, captain!

2. The captain is a man! And I am a woman!

1.Oh-oh, hold me... Woman... Look at you, sand is falling off you...

2.Look at you, this garden scarecrow...

1.No, look at her old nag

(pushing each other)

2. Okay, that's enough, that's enough. People are looking at us.

1. Oh, really, chavoy, we’ve completely gone crazy old people.

2.And now the song……………….

Song

In your big eyes there is anxiety and sadness,

After all, we again don’t have enough paint for repairs.

You want to send everything into the lilac distance!

Into the lilac distance - whitewashing and painting,

In the lilac fog - a water tap,

In the lilac fog - window putty.

And your vacation floated away into a lilac fog!

In the lilac distance are the Canary Islands and Hawaii.

I would like to leave for a year, or maybe two...

Or maybe you dream of leaving forever.

You dream, but you can barely get there!

The lilac fog over our school is melting,

The director sits in it, and it’s not easy for him -

He is in no hurry to go home, the director understands:

You will have to solve all the questions yourself!

2. Matryon, look, your whole back is white.

1.Where (looks around)

(2nd laughs)

2.I was joking.

1. Fuck you! You're all hee-hee, yes ha-ha.

2. Today we need to laugh and cheer up our respected people. Otherwise they laugh once a year.

1.Why 1?

2. The first of July, when they go on vacation.

1. Let's tell jokes.

2. I'm first.

1.Go ahead.

2. Vovochka received a bad mark in physical education.

Father asks:

Why did your teacher give you a bad grade?

“And he asked to cover the goat with mats.”

Well, I covered it...

1.Now I..

The teacher says to the student:

Let your grandfather come to school tomorrow!

Do you mean father?

No, grandpa. I want to show him what mistakes his son makes in his homework.

2. You should just invite your grandfathers...

1. This is a joke (offended)

2.Okay, okay, announce the musical number

1. (singing) I’ll sing for you...

2. It’s not you who will sing, but the guys.

Musical number

All students line up on stage and sing to the tune of the song “Smile” from the movie “Carnival Night”)

If you sometimes feel sad and sad,
If someone is being naughty in class,
This is not on purpose or on purpose,
Our energy is just bubbling.

So let's all the excitement
Let's forget at this hour.
And good mood
Will not leave you again.

If we don’t answer well in class,
If we forget to learn formulas,
We also get what we deserve,
But we know how to hide our grief.

money

2. Once I was riding in a minibus, I read the inscription “Whoever slams the door will become a beneficiary!!!”

1. You laugh at the old and sick..

Listen to the story:

And for the third time the old man came to blue sea, and had mercy on him gold fish and gave him Raskolnikov’s address...

2. (dreamy)

And the sun is shining brightly, and the landscape is beautiful when C2H5OH is splashing in the stomach (ts 2 as 5 oas)

1.Are you crazy, Flower, you’re at school.

money

1. Little flower, let’s talk about love.

2.What kind of love do you like at your age?

1. Well, you can dream...

2. Now you will see about love with your own eyes, how Othello loves Desdemona

Sketch of Othello and Desdemona

Othello (4 grades)
(rushes towards her)

I hear steps. Finally at home
My wife. And cook me lunch.
I'm fucking hungry, Desdemona!

Desdemona

Othello, I don't have lunch.

Othello

I really have no time for jokes, my dear,
Our refrigerator has been empty for a long time!
I'm just dying of hunger...

Desdemona

But I was working, not at the cinema!

Othello

What's in your bag? Notebooks again!
Did you bring it home?! Woe is me!

Desdemona

I see that your nerves are not all right,
You even screamed more than once in your sleep.

(Sits down to check his notebooks.)

Othello

Listen, Desdemona, really
It would be nice to have a snack now!

Desdemona

Othello! We already ate today!
And it’s even harmful to eat at such a late hour.
But if you really want, you can, honey,
Fry the eggs, just do it yourself.
Don't distract me, please, my love!
There are three eggs left, that's enough for us.

Othello

What three? I ate two yesterday.

Desdemona

OK then. Fry yourself one.

Othello

But the refrigerator is empty!

Desdemona

Well, I don’t know where it could suddenly disappear?!

Othello

Listen, I have a job too,
But I can’t think of anything because I’m hungry!

Desdemona

Oh, darling, come on, really, think of something...
Do your homework! And hunger will disappear.

Othello

My hunger will not be satisfied. Really
Is it so difficult for you to go to the store?

Desdemona

I thought I'd come by at the end of the week,
But you could buy something yourself!
You're disturbing me, honey. By the way,
So little time left, dear!
I will be on duty at school until nightfall:
My class is walking at the disco.

Othello

What disco?! What kind of joke?
Our family is about to be destroyed!

Desdemona

Oh, you know, there's not a minute left,
My class is already waiting for me there, go.

Othello

Like hell from incense, you run away from home.
You work is more important, not family.
Have you prayed at night, Desdemona?
Die, unfortunate one! Die, my love!
__________________

(9th grade)

Teaching is not work, but renunciation,

The ability to give your all,

Leave for a long feat and torment,

And in this we see light and grace.

Teaching - when in the eyes of cold

The dawn of understanding will light up,

And you will understand: I tried not in vain

And it was not in vain that he scattered his knowledge.

Showered with colored rain of bouquets

And illuminated by the brilliance of hundreds of eyes,

Accept, teacher, not a word of hello,

And part of the soul is from grateful us!

Song to the melody of “Closing the Circle” (end, everyone sings)

1.Here is one of those stories
Which we are arguing about here
And not a day or two,
And for many years.
It's not easy at school,
We ask questions here
And the teacher will answer them.

Why does one strive for knowledge?
Graduate and first grader
Why do we rush to class like a river?
How the teacher comes to class
And he teaches us a lesson,
We all want to know for sure

Chorus:

Stand here in a circle
Student, teacher, friend.
The light shines in the windows of knowledge,
Leaving a mark on the heart.
Let the years go by
The school is always with us.
There are a hundred roads before us
The school has grown a sprout.

2.Opening the doors of life
We all trust you, teacher,
We believe in what awaits us ahead.
Many songs have been sung about you
Forget sadness, our circle is small,
And call us to the world of knowledge again.

Chorus.

3.If knowledge is in the palm of your hand,
Then you won't drown in dreams,
You are not lost for days.
We remember you, teacher.
We go into life with knowledge
The teacher raised people in us.
Each bird has its own motive,
Each song has its own motive,
The school also has its own motive.
Everything we know will be useful
You, teacher, will be in my dreams
The kids are all grateful to you.

Chorus.

_________

(1 class)

1. What student is without mistakes?
Without a deuce? - Well, what can I say?
But still your smiles
We remember and will appreciate.

2.And every kind word
Will remain in our hearts
And we are ready to bow
In deeds, not in words.

3.We ourselves and our parents
Now we understand more clearly
How difficult it is for a teacher today
Cope with your task.

4 .Teacher - as if it’s not fashionable.
Other professions honor...
Thank you for your noble
And selfless work!

“Golden Wedding” (“Cuckoo”) (grades 1, 2, 3)

It's a holiday, a holiday at our school.

We congratulate you from the bottom of our hearts.

How nice it is for us to look at you.

And smiles are everything for you.

Etc.

Oh, the student and the teacher

Life at school is great!

Oh, the student and the teacher

May fate smile on us!

Oh, the student and the teacher

So many years, so many years together.

Ah, the student and the teacher,

May we live for two hundred years!

This holiday is only once a year.

But we always love you very much.

May you and we be lucky in life

And we drink milk for you today!

Musical number to the melody “What is autumn?” (beginning, everyone sings)

What's going on at school today?

We will answer your question directly:

It's a holiday here with us,

Here we have

Teacher's Day, the very same!

Chorus

Happy to see you all now

At this most exciting hour.

Happiness, smiles, light, kindness

Adults and children wish you well.

A teacher working at a school

The best teacher in the world,

Because he has his big heart

He gives it to all the children without any reserve.

Chorus

1 grandma:

Let in this hall, at this hour

The lights are burning brighter!
And again we congratulate you, our teachers!

Our junior classes loud laughter is the best reward!
The kids will be very happy to congratulate you.

Etc. (repeat)

Performing a song to the tune of “Forward, midshipmen”(to parents)

By the will of fate it happened
Or is this the cross you have?
And all my strength was given to the school,
And going to class is like going into battle.
And at night you dream about the board,
And you have no other worries,
As soon as tomorrow what happens,
And will the class understand the task?

Chorus
Keep your nose up, dear teacher,
Is life hard or good?
Knowledge and soul are one,
Knowledge and soul are one.
The love for students is the same!

Years will pass, centuries of shadow
They will disappear, everything will close in a circle.
But the warm word is “teacher”
Suddenly our hearts will be troubled.
Will always make you remember something
Dear, close to you
In the twentieth century and in the two hundredth -
The teacher is eternal on earth!

Chorus
Keep your nose up, dear teacher,
Is life hard or good?
Knowledge and soul are one,
Knowledge and soul are one.
The love for students is the same!

2 -3 grade

"If teachers disappear, What will happen in the world then, friends? Rudeness and ignorance will destroy souls, there will be no joy in people's lives. If the teachers disappear, the earth will be unhappy and poor, should we let this happen? If the teachers disappear, who will tell us that the Earth is eternal? Eternal Earth! So the Teacher is eternal! Isn’t that what you want, friends? No, we won't let this happen so that the word “teacher” disappears! Through the centuries, through the centuries your profession will last forever!” Musical number based on “Hope” (parents) 1.What once brought you here? You didn't look for easier ways. Mind and heart, soul and warmth They gave to the younger generations For the sake of affirming kindness Through all the doubts and worries Brought high dreams And they knew the joys and ups. CHORUS: The school is calling you, My heart still breaks for her. And in the heart of that young people, What is called your hope. May our hopes come true, Everywhere on earth there is such a share. Your ideals come to life now Embodies the young tribe Years of separation are not a problem, Memory will pave the right path to childhood. You are everyone's teacher forever The most important, the very, very first. CHORUS. 2 grandma Teacher's Heart...Well, what can you compare it with? With a cosmic Galaxy that has no boundaries? Or maybe with the bright Sun, which gives people light? With the depths of the sea, which sleeps for hundreds of years? No, we won’t compare! But we will say: “Knock!” Teacher’s Heart - HOPE, BELIEVE, LOVE!”

See also funny poems about school for children. The advantages of our funny skits are that they do not require costumes, there is no need to memorize large texts (and the one who plays the role of a teacher can use a printout that can be inserted into a magazine), they need to be rehearsed for a short time. At the same time, these scenes are close to the students. They will be able to laugh at their mistakes, looking at themselves from the outside. Humor, jokes, funny scenes for children about school are well suited for KVN. Also check out School Humor.

1. Sketch "At Russian language lessons"

Teacher: Let's listen to how you learned homework. Whoever answers first will receive a higher point.
Student Ivanov (raises his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once!

Teacher: Your essay about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov’s essay!
Student Petrov: Mary Ivanna, Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all of us!

Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful essay, but why isn’t it finished?
Student Sidorov: Because dad was urgently called to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, admit it, who wrote your essay?
Student Koshkin: I don’t know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to see me tomorrow!
Student Klevtsov: Grandfather? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.

Teacher: What kind of word is “egg”, Sinichkin?
Student Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why?
Disciple Sinichkin: Because it is unknown who will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken.

Teacher: Petushkov, determine the gender of the words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”.
Student Petushkov: “Table”, “chair” and “sock” are masculine, and “stocking” is feminine.
Teacher: Why?
Student Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!

Teacher: Smirnov, go to the board, write down and analyze the sentence.
Student Smirnov comes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes down: “Dad went to the garage.”
Teacher: Ready? We are listening to you.
Student Smirnov: Dad is the subject, gone is the predicate, to the garage is ... a preposition.

Teacher: Guys, who can come up with a sentence with homogeneous members?
Student Tyulkina raises her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Student Tyulkina: There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest.

Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral “three”.
Student Sobakin: My mother works at a KNITTING factory.

Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the board and write down the sentence.
Student Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates: The guys caught butterflies with nets.
Student Rubashkin writes: The guys caught butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?
Student Rubashkin: What?
Teacher: Where have you seen bespectacled butterflies?

Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word “dry”?
Student Meshkov stood up and remained silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Student Meshkov: What kind? Dryish!

Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, now give me your example.
Student Petushkov: Cat - dog.
Teacher: What does “cat - dog” have to do with it?
Student Petushkov: Well, how about that? They are opposites and often fight with each other.

Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class?
Student Sidorov: It’s a pity to waste time during recess!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Disciple Sidorov: My older brother fell ill.
Teacher: What do you have to do with it?
Student Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Student Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?

Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a sentence with an appeal.
Student Sushkina: Mary Ivanna, call!

2. Sketch "Correct answer"

Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Student: What should we divide, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Student: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is this?
Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn’t he owe you a plum?
Student: No, I shouldn’t have plums.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Student: Because I don’t like plums.
Teacher: Wrong again.
Student: How many is correct?
Teacher: Now I’ll put the correct answer in your diary!
(I. Butman)

3. Sketch "Our cases"

Characters: teacher and student Petrov

Teacher: Petrov, go to the board and write down short story which I will dictate to you.
The student goes to the board and prepares to write.
Teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then promised to improve.”
A student writes from dictation on the board.
Teacher: Great! Underline all the nouns in your story.
The student emphasizes the words: “dad”, “mom”, “Vova”, “behaviour”, “Vova”, “promise”.
Teacher: Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood?
Student: Yes!
Teacher: Start!
Student: “Dad and Mom.” Who? What? Parents. This means the case is genitive.
Scolded someone, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. This means the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has the instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has the accusative case.
Well, the “promise,” of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring me the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest you set for yourself?
Student: Which one? Of course, an A!
Teacher: So, an A? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”?
Student: In the prepositional form!
Teacher: In the prepositional form? Why?
Student: Well, I suggested it myself!
(according to L. Kaminsky)

4. Sketch "At mathematics lessons"

Characters: teacher and class students

Teacher: Petrov, you have difficulty counting to ten. I can’t imagine what you can become?
Student Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!

Teacher: Trushkin goes to the board to solve the problem.
Student Trushkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the statement of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...
Student Trushkin heads to the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going?!
Student Trushkin: I ran home, I have candy!

Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your deuce in it yesterday.
Disciple Petrov: I don’t have it.
Teacher: Where is he?
Student Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare his parents!

Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Student Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don’t know math!
Student Vasechkin: No, you don’t know my brother!

Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, what is three times seven?
Student Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!

Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Student Ivanov: Mom doesn’t have free time!

Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.
The students get to work.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentyev?
Student Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he’s copying from me, and I’m just checking to see if he did it correctly!

Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina.
Student Shcherbinina: This is a mathematical Greek.

5. Sketch "At the lessons of natural history"

Characters: teacher and class students

Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Student Petrov holds out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Petrov.
Student Petrov: Tiger, tigress and... three tiger cubs.

Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Student Kosichkina: These are the kind of forests in which... it’s good to doze off.

Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Student Simakova: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, please answer us, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?
Disciple Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.

Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers did you read?
Student Petukhov: “Frog Traveler”

Teacher: Who can answer how the sea differs from the river? Please, Mishkin.
Disciple Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.

Student Zaitsev reaches out his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask?
Disciple Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from monkeys?
Teacher: True.
Disciple Zaitsev: That’s what I see: there are so few monkeys!

Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the life expectancy of a mouse?
Disciple Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.

Teacher: Meshkov will go to the board and tell us about the crocodile.
Student Meshkov (coming to the board): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters.
Teacher: Think about what you are saying! Is it possible?
Student Meshkov: It happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!

Teacher: Khomyakov, answer, why do people need a nervous system?
Disciple Khomyakov: To be nervous.

Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Student Sinichkin: Because I’m terribly worried that the bell might interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.

Teacher: Guys, who can answer where the bird is flying with a straw in its beak?
Student Belkov raises his hand higher than everyone else.
Teacher: Try, Belkov.
Disciple Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Teplyakova, what are the last teeth a person develops?
Student Teplyakova: Inserts, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately give you an A plus. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American time?”
Student Klyushkin reaches out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.
Student Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!

6. Scene “Folder under the mouse”

Vovka: Listen, I’ll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder by the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.
Andrey: Ha ha ha! It's really funny.
Vovka (surprised): What’s so funny? I haven't even started to tell you yet.
Andrey (laughing): A folder... under your arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder won’t fit under your arm, he’s not a cat!
Vovka: Why “my folder”? The folder is dad's. You've forgotten how to speak correctly because of laughter, or what?
Andrey: (winking and tapping his forehead): Ah, I guessed it! Grandfather - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great that you came up with this - funny and with a riddle!
Vova (offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh and get in the way of talking. And he dragged my grandfather under his arm, what a storyteller he was! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrey (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? For what funny stories tell me if you can’t laugh?
(I. Semerenko)

7. Sketch "3=7 and 2=5"

Teacher: Well, Petrov? What should I do with you?
Petrov: What?
Teacher: You haven’t done anything all year, you haven’t taught anything. I don’t really know what to put on your report.
Petrov (looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, scientific work was studying.
Teacher: What are you talking about? What kind?
Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics was wrong and... proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It’s not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is only equal to three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov (solemnly): This is not true! I proved that three equals seven!
Teacher: How is that?
Petrov: But look: 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: That's right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 =0 - also true. So 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: That's right.
Petrov: Let’s take the common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Yeah! So, Petrov, we survived.
Petrov: I didn’t want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But you can’t sin against science...
Teacher: I see. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.
Teacher: We take out the common factors: 5(4-4) = 2(4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: Then that’s it, Petrov, I’ll give you a “2”!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?
Teacher: Don’t be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. Is that what you did?
Petrov: Well, let's say.
Teacher: So I put “2”, who cares. A?
Petrov: No, it doesn’t matter, Ivan Ivanovich, “5” is better.
Teacher: Perhaps it’s better, Petrov, but until you prove this, you will have a D in a year, which, in your opinion, is equal to an A!
Guys, help Petrov.
(Newspaper " Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)

8. Sketch "Schoolboy and salesman"

Characters: a schoolboy and a store sales assistant

Sales consultant: What can I tell you?
Schoolboy: The years of the reign of Nicholas II?
Sales consultant: I don’t know.
Schoolboy: Okay... Pythagorean theorem?
Sales consultant: ... (shrugs)
Schoolboy: Photosynthesis?
Sales consultant: (sighing) I don’t know...
Schoolboy: Well, why are you bothering then with your “What can I tell you?”!!!
(KVN team from Ryazan)

9. Sketch "Schoolchildren at the Stadium"

Characters: schoolchildren and stadium informant

A group of young fans led by a leader loudly chants:
"SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!" "SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!"
Suddenly the voice of the stadium informant comes on:
Informant's voice: Attention young fans! (young fans stop chanting)
Your history teacher is at the match!
Young fans start chanting:
“SPA-RTAC IS A ROMAN SLAVE!” “SPA-RTAC IS A ROMAN SLAVE!”
(KVN team from Ryazan)

10. Sketch “Unnecessary words, or Cool Dnieper in cool weather”

Characters: a cultured adult and a modern schoolboy Vanya Sidorov

Hello, Vanya.
- Hello.
- Well, tell me, Vanya, how are you?
- Wow, things are going strong.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Cool, I say, just one wick froze this. Rolls towards the cage. Let me drive the bike, he says. He sat down and scratched. And here is the teacher. And let him show off. He opened his mitten. Yes, how it gets messy. Himself with a black eye. The teacher almost went crazy, and the bike booed. Laugh. Cool, right?
- Was there a horse there?
- Which horse?
- Well, the one who was laughing. Or I didn't understand anything.
- Well, didn’t you understand anything?
- Come on, let's start all over again.
- Well, let's. So, one wick...
- Without a candle?
- Without.
- What kind of wick is this?
- Well, one guy, a long one, rolled up to the sket...
-What did he ride up on, a bicycle?
- No, the skete had a bicycle.
- Which sket?
- Well, there's only one idiot. Yes, you know him, he walks around here with such a snob.
- With whom, with whom?
- Yes, not with whom, but with what, his nose is in the shape of a snob. Well, let me drive the bike, he says. He sat down and scratched.
- Did he have an itch?
- No, he sawed.
- Well, how did you saw it?
- What did you saw?
- Well, is it big?
- How?
- Well, this same schnobel?
- No, the cat had a snob. And the fuse got a black eye, a blast hit him in the head, and he began to wander around. He opened his mitten, and so he jerked.
- Why the mitten, did he get fussy in the winter?
- Yes, there was no winter there, there was a teacher there.
- Teacher, you mean.
- Well, yes, with a black eye, that is, with a great one, no, with coils. But the very rolling of the bike made the bike whoop.
- How did you whoop?
- And so, I’m covered. Into small pieces. Do you understand now?
- Understood. I realized that you don’t know the Russian language at all.
- I don’t know how!
- Can you imagine if everyone spoke like you, what would happen?
- What?
- Remember, at Gogol's. “Wonderful is the Dnieper in calm weather, when it rushes freely and smoothly through forests and mountains full waters its own, neither rustles nor thunders. You look and don’t know whether its majestic width is going or not” and further “A rare bird will fly to the middle of the Dnieper.”
- I remember.
- Now listen to how it sounds in your quirky language: “Cool Dnieper in cool weather, when, wandering and showing off, saws its cool waves through the forests and mountains. you don’t know whether he’s sawing or not. A rare bird with a shnobel will reach the middle of the Dnieper, and if it finishes scratching, it will whoop and throw off its hooves.” Do you like?
“I like it,” he said and ran, shouting: “Cool Dnieper in cool weather.”
(Lion Izmailov)

11. Young man in a nightclub

Characters: girl, young man, mother

A girl is sitting at the bar. A young man approaches her.

Young man: Hello, baby! Are you bored?
GIRL: Yes, there is a little.
YOUNG MAN: Shall we come with me? I will give you an unforgettable evening!
GIRL: Sounds good. But my mother is waiting for me at home at 23-00.
YOUNG MAN: Is mom waiting? Give it up! What, are you 10 years old? Do you go on dates with your mom too? Ha!

Suddenly young man someone's hand confidently takes your ear. Everyone can see that this is the hand of an older woman.

YOUNG MAN: Mom? What are you doing here?
MOM: What are you doing here?
YOUNG MAN: Well, mom! I…
MOM: I don’t want to hear it! March home!
YOUNG MAN: (to the girl) Baby, I'll call you back!
MOM: Home!
(KVN team from Ryazan)

12. Radiologist's office

Characters: grandmother, boy, radiologist

Radiologist's office: X-ray machine, table, chair. A doctor is sitting at the table.
They come into the office a little boy and grandmother.

GRANDMOTHER (pointing to the boy). I've looked through everything and the glasses are nowhere to be found. I think he swallowed them. Just like your grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST (addresses the boy). Have you swallowed granny glasses?
The boy doesn't answer.
GRANDMOTHER. Partisan! Just like your grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST. Are you silent? But now we will enlighten you through and find out everything.
GRANDMOTHER (joyfully). Yep, gotcha! I wish I had something like this at home.
RADIOLOGIST (looks at the picture). Well, well, well... You know... not only does he have glasses here, he also has a wallet with money. I can’t say exactly, but somewhere around three hundred rubles.
GRANDMOTHER. This is not ours, we don’t need someone else’s. The main thing for me is to get glasses, I can’t watch TV without them.
RADIOLOGIST. We'll get it now.
The radiologist approaches the boy, lifts him by the legs and shakes him. Glasses and wallet fall out on the floor.
GRANDMOTHER (grabs her glasses). Thank you very much, doctor. I don’t even know how to thank you. Let me kiss you!
RADIOLOGIST (twirls his wallet in his hands). No need. But if possible, I’ll keep the wallet as a souvenir.
GRANDMOTHER. This is not ours, not ours, we don’t need someone else’s.
Grandmother and grandson leave the office.
RADIOLOGIST (loudly). Next!
(A. Givargizov)

Characters:
Dad: Zmey Gorynych
Head teacher: Baba Yaga
Math teacher: Leshy
Geography teacher: Kikimora
Botany Teacher: Witch
Class teacher: Vodyanoy

SERPENT GORYNYCH (flies into the teacher’s room):
...Yes, I told him a hundred times!..
Well, what did he do again?

GOBBLE:
Multiplied the minus with the sine -
Got a minus one!

KIKIMORA:
Confused albinos
With albatross...

WITCH:
Throwing apricots...

KIKIMORA:
Blowing soap bubbles!..

GOBBLE:
On a bet
Swallowed the call!

KIKIMORA:
Yawned the whole lesson
And he infected everyone with yawning!

WATER:
But yesterday
Brought to class
Hippopotamus!!!

GOBBLE:
With this nasty boy
There is no sweetness!

BABA YAGA (unctuously):
Maybe give him poison?..
Or throw it to the wolves?
AM –
And there is no bad student!

KIKIMORA:
Don't get excited, dear Yaga.
In our age
Such measures are outdated.

GOBBLE:
A hundred years ago
We would have it
Certainly,
Ate...
But now
We have
Not many students
In reserve...

WATER:
Agree!
Let's not resort
To extreme measures.

WITCH:
Let's try to entice him
A good example.

SERPENT GORYNYCH (confused):
Mmmm... Less or more...
That is - more or less!..
And yet...

WITCH (interrupts):
A...
Understand!
Your example is not good...
But boy
Doesn't want to study at all!

BABA YAGA:
Oh, what a hassle there is with children!..

DRAGON:
Lock him in the closet - let him learn his lessons!
And if he doesn't stop yawning...

ALL IN CHORUS:
We'll turn it around
In chewing gum
And we will
SLOWLY
Chew!
(E. Lipatova)

14. Daily routine

Characters:

Schoolboy Vova
Schoolboy Petya

PETER:
- Do you, Vova, know what a regime is?

VOVA:
- Certainly! Regime... Regime is where I want, I jump there.

PETER:
- Wrong! A regime is a daily routine. Are you doing it?

VOVA:
- I even exceed it.

PETER:
- Like this?

VOVA:
- According to the schedule, I need to walk twice a day, but I walk four!

PETER:
- No, you are not exceeding it, but breaking it! Do you know what the daily routine should be?

VOVA:
- I know! Climb. Charger. Washing. Making the bed. Breakfast. School. Dinner. Walk. Prep. Walk.

PETER:
- Fine.

VOVA:
- And it can be even better.

PETER:
- How is this?

VOVA:
- Like this! Climb. Breakfast. Walk. Lunch. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Tea. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Dream.

PETER:
- Oh no. Under this regime, you will turn out to be lazy and ignorant.

VOVA:
- Will not work.

PETER:
- Why?

VOVA:
- Because with my grandmother we follow the entire regime.

PETER:
- How is it with your grandmother?

VOVA:
- Yes. I do half of it, and grandma does half of it. And together we get the whole regime.

PETER:
- I don't understand!

VOVA:
- Very simple. I do the lifting. The grandmother does the exercises. Washing - grandma. Making the bed - grandma. Breakfast is me. Walk - me. Preparing lessons - my grandmother and I. Walk - me. Lunch is me.

PETER:
- Aren’t you ashamed?! Now I understand why you are so undisciplined.

https://site/smeshnye-scenki-dlya-detej/

15. About Pushkin

Two duelists stand opposite each other. One of them is Pushkin.

Second: Come together!

Pushkin and his opponent raise their pistols. They approach the barriers. Pushkin's opponent fires a shot. Pushkin lies wounded. The enemy approaches the wounded Pushkin.

Pushkin: For what?

Pushkin's opponent: Bastard! Because of you, I was left for the second year in literature!!!

16. School riddles

Characters: Schoolboy, his friend - Vovka Sidorov

SCHOOLBOY (addressing confidentially to the audience, pointing with his hand at a friend standing nearby):
And Vovka Sidorov from our class is such a slowpoke! I came across interesting riddles here about school affairs, and the answers should be in rhyme. Of course, I guessed everything right away, and then I decided to test Vovka’s intelligence.

SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
Here, guess the riddle in rhyme: “The time between two bells is called...”

VOVKA SIDOROV (instantly):
Turn!

SCHOOLBOY:
Well, that’s right, “change” is appropriate, but the answer must be in rhyme!

VOVKA SIDOROV (offended):
Yeah, I said it myself, that’s right, and then you start...

SCHOOLBOY:
Okay, let me tell you another riddle, just think about it before you tell me the answer. “The athlete told us: Everyone go to the sports hall...”

VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts out):
Shop!

SCHOOLBOY:
Which store? For what? Where did you see him?

VOVKA SIDOROV:
What do you mean why? I need to buy new sneakers, otherwise the sole of mine is already falling behind on my left foot. And the sporting goods store is right opposite the school. You've seen him a hundred times too.

SCHOOLBOY (towards the hall):
Well, what can you prove to him here!

SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
But can you guess this riddle in rhyme? “Schools are not simple buildings; in schools they receive...”

VOVKA SIDOROV:
On the head! Yesterday I almost didn’t touch Lenka Petrova’s bow, but she hit me on the head with a book, bam-bang.

SCHOOLBOY:
Listen to another riddle: “And today I got a grade again...”

VOVKA SIDOROV (shouting):
I got a C, C again in math.

SCHOOLBOY (addressing the audience in the hall):
Well, Vovka is slow-witted! What a slowpoke! Although... I look, his face is cunning and cunning. Maybe he was playing a trick on me? Today is April 1st!!!
(Leonid Medvedev)

17. About parents

A man in a clothing store dials a number on his cell phone.

Man: Hello, dear! ... Did our Bear do his homework? … Yes? What about his diary? Good, yes?! So, did he clean the room?! Crap! Have you eaten soup?! Nothing... I just went into the store, and there was a sale on belts!

No sooner have the children returned to school after the summer than they need to prepare for the holiday, for which it is simply impossible not to prepare. Yes, literally a month after knowledge day new holiday- teacher's Day. On this day, all students give gifts and also prepare a performance for their favorite teachers. New scenario On Teacher's Day for high school students, it is both a gift and a performance. Funny and with competitions, the script will appeal to the guests, and they will have a lot of fun and see a different side of you.

Leading:

Hello dear guests and beloved teachers! Today is a wonderful day and holiday - today is Teacher's Day! We gladly congratulate you and at the beginning of our evening we want to present all of you with bouquets of flowers!

Students come out and present teachers with a bouquet of flowers.

Leading:

Great, the gifts have been given. Now let's begin our holiday! But first I would like to understand which of you, of the teachers, is the happiest. No, of course, all teachers are happy, because they work at school, and this in itself is happiness. But let's define this right now.

To play the game you need to prepare candies. Wrap one of the candies in a candy wrapper with the inscription - lucky! That is, all the candies are wrapped, and in one candy under the wrapper there is another piece of paper. The student comes out with a box of chocolates and invites the teachers to take one piece of candy each. Teachers take them and unwrap them. Whoever has a note under the wrapper is the happiest and luckiest.

Leading:

Great! We have identified the luckiest and happy person At school. We ask you to come up to the stage.

And so, you became the happiest teacher, what are your feelings about this incredible success?!

The teacher says something.

Leading:

But you know, happiness is like that – sometimes it exists, sometimes it doesn’t. You're lucky - you ate a delicious candy, and now you have to pass the exam! Scary?! Don't be afraid, students go through this every year.

Teacher exam.

A table is brought out and exam papers with questions are laid out on the table. The teacher takes turns selecting three tickets (more is possible) and answers questions.
Questions should be funny and unexpected, for example:
- How many steps are there on the school stairs from the first floor to the second?
- from the physics classroom to the teacher's room forty steps. And from the physics room to the dining room there are one hundred and twenty steps. The bell rings for recess: who will reach the destination first: the teacher to the staff room or the students to the cafeteria?
- how many pages are there in textbooks on your subject?

Leading:

Great! You have passed the exam and can return to your seat.

You know, teachers often tell us not to make noise in class. Do you think it’s convenient for us to make noise when everyone else is making noise? Do you think it’s so easy to talk to a person when someone else is talking nearby? No - it is not easy, and now you will see for yourself. For the competition we need five teachers.

There was a lot of noise about the competition.

Five teachers or any other number, but not less than three, come out. Each teacher is given a sheet of words famous song. The presenter asks the teachers if they are familiar with this song and if they know its motive. When everyone is ready, at the command of the leading teacher, everyone begins to sing their own song.

Leading:

Yes, nothing is clear. You see how inconvenient and difficult it is when everyone says something at the same time. So don’t scold us when we talk, remember – it’s not easy and you could see this for yourself.

And now he comes on stage musical group. She will perform a song for teachers.

Leading:

Thanks for the wonderful song. And now we have an important event– we will present certificates and diplomas to teachers. You know, not all students receive certificates and diplomas upon graduation, but we will not offend anyone and will present memorable awards to everyone.

First, all teachers in turn are solemnly awarded the following diplomas:

Download this template.

And then one teacher is awarded a certificate for his dedication to his students. For this purpose, a survey is conducted among schoolchildren before the holiday. And whichever teacher scores the most points is awarded a certificate.

Leading:

And now the main award of the evening. We conducted a survey and voting among all students at the school and found out which teacher was most worthy of this award. And so, a certificate for dedication to the school and students is awarded to... (last name, first name, patronymic of the teacher)

The certificate is like this:

Leading:

It's time to play again. And we invite the physics teacher to the stage!
The task is simple - to name the laws of physics correctly. Can you handle it?! Of course. After all, you are the best physicist in school!

Game with physics teacher.

The game is simple - first we take any law of physics and, using Google translator, translate it into Arabic. And then we copy what came out in Arabic and translate it again into Russian. And we get the law of physics, but in slightly different words. The teacher must guess what this law is.

For example:
- The action force is equal to the reaction force
As a result of two translations we get the following:
- Work force equal to the interaction force

Further:
- the law of statics of liquids and gases, according to which a body immersed in a liquid (or gas) is acted upon by a buoyant force equal to the weight of the liquid in the volume of the body.
Now we translate from Russian into Hebrew, and then again into Russian and we get:
is an Accounting for Liquids and Gases, according to which buoyancy is applied to a body immersed in a liquid (or gas) equal to the weight of the liquid in the mass of the body

Leading:

Great, you completed the task. And now we have tasks for the literature teacher. Although all teachers can participate in this game.

Game with teachers.

Teachers need to take turns choosing a rhyme for the words: daisy and snowflake.
Whoever finds the most rhyming words is awarded a prize.

Leading:

All the teachers say: no need to cheat! Do you know what a difficult building this is! First, you need to make out the other person’s handwriting, and then quickly copy it all into your notebook. Don't believe how difficult it is?! Then get your phones ready.

Game - copy from someone else.

For the game you prepare sheets of paper, and on each sheet the same verse is written in four lines. Handwritten by one person who has the most illegible handwriting. All sheets are distributed to teachers and, on command, they must copy the congratulations into their phone and send it via SMS to the school principal. Whoever receives an SMS from the director first wins the competition.

Leading:

Shall we play some more? Then I ask the teachers to come up to the stage. A team of students will play against you!

Students versus teachers.

We play in associations. That is, the leader assigns the first word to one team, and the participants must come up with associations with this word. First, the first one says the association to the second one, then the second one to the third one, and so on. Objective: reach last participant teams.

Example for the game:
Presenter: “Cup”
1 player: Football
Player 2: Ball
3rd player: Kolobok
Player 4: Hare
Player 5: Ears
6th player: Cheburashka

Everything is clear here. If you want your students to win, then prepare a question and answers for yourself in advance. Let the teachers suffer.

Leading:

It is on this wonderful note that we end the holiday. Next we have a disco, and tomorrow is a day off at school!

Fanfare, the presenters enter the stage.

Director : I ask for silence! Camera! Motor! Let's start!

Ved.1: Hello, dear TV viewers!

Ved.2: Good afternoon!

Ved1: B live new TV Broadcast"Pulse" and us, the presenters

Ved2:_____________________________________________.

AND ____________________________________________.

Ved1: The release of our first program coincided with a grandiose event - International Teacher's Day!

Ved2: And therefore our today's episode dedicated specifically to them.

Ved1: In just a few minutes the ceremony will beginPresentation of the "Pedagogical Oscar" award. It is opened by the trio SiZheT.”

2 presenter : Throughout this week, the students of our school gave their votes to the most cheerful, kind, strict and most beloved teachers!

1 : Today we will find out the voting results, and 9 Oscars "will find their owners. However, before we begin presenting the prize, let's greet the main characters of our evening - teachers who are worried and worried, because they usually give marks, and today their work, talents, and wit are assessed by students.

1 : “Pedagogical Oscar” is an award for professionals. And the right to open the Oscars is given to the youngest participants in our event. Elementary school students on stage.

Grades 2-4 are invited to the stage.

2: So let's get started solemn ceremony. Very soon we will find out who is the strictest teacher at school. After voting, the following candidates apply for this nomination:

And the right to announce the first nomination is granted to:

The student comes out, opens the envelope, and names the winning teacher in the category “ The most strict" congratulate him. They present him with a statuette and flowers...

1: We congratulate our first award winner, but even with such an experienced and strict teacher, the following situation could easily have happened.

8th grade. Sketch on a school theme.

2: And the lessons of our next winner always have a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. How do you think why?

1 : Probably because itthe kindest teacher! The following candidates apply for this nomination:

2: The right to declare the kindest teacher is granted

2 : on stage "Waltz".

1: Well, let's see how you can withstand the intrigue before the winner is announced in the next category. The contenders in the nomination “The Smiliest Teacher” are:

Nomination is awarded"The most smiling teacher."

2: 6th grade students are invited to the stage with the song “School”.

Number h.s. 6th grade.

2 : Just imagine, they told me a joke yesterday, and I laughed for half the evening.

1: Tell me quickly!

2 : Mom: “Vovochka, wash your neck!” Your teacher should come to us.” Vovochka: “And if she doesn’t come, I’ll just walk around with my neck washed, like a fool?”

1: Well, what's so funny? This teacher's lessons are always fun and witty because he is the most cheerful teacher . Voting identified 3 candidates:

2 : The right to declare oneself cheerful teacher provided

1 : All teachers will appreciate the performances of the following participants in our festive event. 5th grade students on stage with the song “Hello School”

Performance (5 grades)

The presenter holds a “boa constrictor” in his hands and looks first at the teachers, then at him.

2: What are you doing?

1: Like what? I'm looking for similarities.

2: With whom?

1: With the winner of our next nomination.

2: What do you mean?

1: They say "calm as a boa constrictor", so I look who looks like a boa constrictor. So, the contenders for the title of the calmest teacher:

2: The winner will be announced...

1 :Congratulations on stage a dancing group with the dance of the gnomes.

Performance by the German center.

2: What are you looking for?

1: Have you seen the most active teacher in the school?

2: No, but...they know exactly who the most active teachers are. The leaders in this category are:

Winner in the nomination"The most active teacher" announces...

1: 7th grade congratulates you.

7th grade skit

1: Yes, we really have the best school!

2: And they work in it best teachers! We value, love and respect you. And in lessons we listen to you very carefully. And we even learned some of your phrases by heart.

- And now there will be a slice of knowledge!

- Don’t come tomorrow without your parents!

- Everything I say falls on deaf ears.

- Let's go without "let's"!

– You need my help, please, but on your own!

- “D” again?

- Once I speak, everyone is silent!

- How many times can you tell people not to sit on the windowsill!

1 : The next nomination intrigued me the most, because we chose the Most Unpredictable Teacher. Contenders for this title are:

2 :. You are invited to the stage for the Oscars.

1 : And now one more dance.

Number 5-6 class Fly. German center.

2: In the nomination "The most athletic teacher“A real struggle unfolded. The leadership was taken by a large margin: To announce the results, you are invited to the stage

1: 9th grade on stage with congratulations.

Number 9 class

1: However, this teacher’s lessons fly by unnoticed; they are always fun, interesting, and relaxed. Because he is the best teacher! The leaders here are:

2: We are approaching the culmination of our event. It's time to find out who the students think is "the best". You are invited to the stage for the presentation

Nomination announcement"The very best teacher»

1 : Congratulations on stage 10th grade.

Room from 10 cl.

2: It should be noted that the voting was very tense! The gap between competitors was insignificant. Each vote could become decisive in one category or another. Therefore, we present all teachers who did not receive a statuette with a prize of student gratitude!

1 : Moreover, our congratulations and surprises are not over yet.

2: On stage

1: The Center for German Culture “Jewish Dance” congratulates you.

German Center

1: So, the Pedagogical Oscar award has been awarded. Once again, happy holiday to you.

1st: Happiness!

2nd: Hello!

1st: Enthusiasm!

2nd: Have a good mood!

1st: Capable students!

2nd: Responsible parents!

1st: Loyal administration!

2nd: Optimism!

1: And a big salary!

Together : Happy holiday, dear teachers!

Final song (grade 11)

Application.

To the tune of “The Beautiful Marquise” (Dialogue between the director and the head teacher)

Director: Ale-ale, beautiful Elvira,

What news do we have?

Tell me everything straight

I want to know everything without embellishment.

Just listen to me.

The eighth grade magazine has disappeared

We looked for him for three days.

The magazine was found. Restored

But all the others drowned -

Everything is fine, everything is fine.

Director: Ale-ale, am I terribly upset?

What other news?

Tell me to be calm

That everything else is fine!

Head teacher: Not a single sad surprise.

Let me reassure you.

To get a big prize

The whole school is in cross-country now.

We took all the medals for cross-country,

Half the school's legs were broken there,

For the rest, let me assure you,

Everything is fine, everything is fine.

Director: Ale-ale! Tell me, really

Broke your legs for success?

Where were all the teachers looking?

I’ll come and fire everyone at once!

Head teacher: Everything is fine, let me assure you

Can I tell you this firmly?

The teachers were so rooting for the children.

We decided to run with them.

They worked so hard at the cross-country,

Apparently they got lost in the park!

For the rest, let me assure you,

Everything is fine, everything is fine.

Director: Ale-ale! Are the teachers missing?!

What a disgrace! What a blow!

I can hardly rest now!

What a scandal! What a nightmare!

Head teacher: Don't worry, everything is fine with us!

How could you doubt?

For the champions of the victims

We personally purchased crutches.

They applied the plaster as best they could.

But the children did not come to school.

They weren't even found at home.

The teachers left the cafe.

The school was closed for renovations.

A water pipe broke in it.

And the roof leaked too.

And as for glass,

Everything was broken a long time ago

And only one window is intact...

For the rest, let me assure you,

Everything is fine, everything is fine!

Scene "Othello and Desdemona"

Ved1: Attention. We received an urgent message about an incident in the teacher’s family.

Ved2: An ordinary teacher's family, the dramatic side of which is little known to schoolchildren and their parents. In terms of the intensity of passions, this life is not inferior to the tragedies of Shakespeare, therefore, for now we cannot disclose the true names characters, let's call them Desdemona (this is the teacher wife) and Othello (her husband).

Ved1: Our correspondents are at the scene of events, and this is what appears before their eyes.

Sketch “Othello and Desdemona” (grade 10)

Music. There is a table on the stage, a chair stands next to it, and Othello is nervously pacing around the stage. Desdemona enters.

Othello (rushes to her)

I hear steps. Finally at home

My wife will cook me lunch.

I'm fucking hungry, Desdemona!

Desdemona

Othello, I don't have lunch.

I really have no time for jokes, my dear,

Our refrigerator has been empty for a long time!

I'm just dying of hunger...

Desdemona.

But I was working, not at the cinema!

What's in your bag? Notebooks again!

Did you bring it home? Woe is me!

Desdemona

I see that your nerves are not all right,

You even screamed more than once in your sleep!

He sits and checks his notebooks.

Listen Desdemona, really

It would be nice to have a snack now!

Desdemona

Othello! We already ate today!

And it’s even harmful to eat at such a late hour.

But if you really want, you can, honey,

Fry the eggs, just do it yourself.

Don't distract me, please, my love!

There are three eggs left, that's enough for us.

What three? I ate two yesterday.

Desdemona

OK then. Fry yourself one.

But the refrigerator is empty!

Desdemona.

Well, I do not know,

Where could it have suddenly disappeared?!

Listen, I have a job too,

But I can’t think of anything because I’m hungry!

Desdemona

Oh, darling, come on, really, think of something:

Do your homework! And hunger will disappear.

My hunger will not be satisfied. Really

Is it so difficult for you to go to the store?

Desdemona

I thought I'd come by at the end of the week,

But you could buy something yourself!

You're disturbing me, honey. By the way,

So little time left, dear!

I will be on duty at school until nightfall:

My class is walking at the disco.

What disco?! What kind of joke?

Our family is about to be destroyed!

Desdemona

Oh, you know, there's not a minute left,

My class is already waiting for me there.

Like hell from incense, you run away from home.

Work is more important to you, not family.

Have you prayed at night, Desdemona?

Die unhappy! Die, my love!

Tragic music.

Ved2: Yes, indeed, tragic moments happen in life. But that's life.

Ved1: And behind the dark stripe, a light one always appears.

Characters:
2 time travelers, 2 modern schoolchild, Presenter, Presenter.

The action takes place at the last pre-holiday rehearsal school concert. It is important that the event begins with this scene. The guys adjust the decorations, the presenters repeat the words.

Presenter:
We congratulate you on the arrival of October,
Dear and dear teachers,
We wish them from the bottom of our hearts,
Warm, kind and wonderful days!

Presenter:
We wish you tolerance and happiness,
And so that you don’t know troubles,
So that bad weather does not frighten you,
And may your dreams come true!

Presenter:
It seems to me that you lack solemnity! We should perform tomorrow, congratulate our favorite teachers, but you’re kind of sluggish and uninteresting.

Presenter:
Am I sluggish? You're the one who's sluggish! Look, you don’t know the text completely!

Presenter:
Who doesn't know this? Is it I who don't know? I taught them for a week, missed training and didn’t go out with friends!

Schoolboy 1:
Enough for you! We have a day before the concert, and all rehearsals you are quarreling!

Schoolboy 2:
I'm tired of your screams!

(A loud knock is heard and the Travelers appear on stage)

Traveler1:
And where are we this time?

Traveler 2:
Wait, let me catch my breath.

Traveler 1:
Well, at least there are no dinosaurs here, which is good news!

Traveler 2:
Come on, it wasn’t that scary, but even educational!

Presenter:
Sorry, can we help you?

Traveler 1:
Oh, you are real!

Traveler 2:
Don't listen to him, he was surprised! My name is Vanya, and this is Sanya, we flew from the past, it happened by chance.

Traveler 1:
Accidentally? It was you who suggested studying history visually, but by the way, I just wanted to read the book!

Presenter:
From past? Are you time travelers or something? By the way, I (says his name and introduces the Presenter).

Traveler 2:
Tell me, what country and what city have we been taken to?

(The presenter answers the question)

Traveler 1:
Well, at least we didn’t go wrong with the city! What school are we in?

(The presenter answers the question)

Traveler 2:
Well, we missed the mark a little here, but no big deal! Let's take a walk around hometown, let's take a look at your favorite places!

Traveler 1:
Let's go to our favorite kiosk, buy myself a whole box of Yuppies, and get drunk!

Schoolboy 1:
Yuppie? And what is it?

Traveler 1:
This is the most delicious drink in the world! Wait, what year is it now?

Schoolboy 2:
2018.

Traveler 2:
This is where we made a mistake; we needed it in 1995. And I wonder why everyone is dressed so strangely, and also with some strange things in their hands (points to smartphone).

Presenter:
This mobile phone. Don't you have any?

Traveler 1:
Mobile phone? I don't remember such a device. What is he doing?

Presenter:
Well, you can use it to take photos, record videos, send and receive mail, make calls, play, read, and use it as a calculator and diary.

Traveler 2:
I want such a device too!

Traveler 1:
Will! Everything has its time! Tell me, what are you cooking here?

Presenter:
Concert for Teacher's Day! We have a whole program planned, here is the last rehearsal left!

Traveler 2:
Interesting! Can I have a look? I wonder how in the future, teachers are congratulated!

Presenter:
Certainly!

Traveler 1:
Tell me, has mathematics been canceled in 2018 yet?

Schoolboy 1:
Of course not! How can you study without it then?

Traveler 2:
I don't like math! Klara Nikolaevna is leading her here, she’s so furious!

Traveler 1:
And very nasty!

Presenter:
I don’t know about you, but here he teaches mathematics the most wonderful person(says first and patronymic). This teacher understands, helps and supports. The lessons are always comfortable and joyful!

Presenter:
Yes, we all have good teachers! For example, (name and country), he always talks interestingly new material, so fascinating and understandable that I don’t even need Google to understand it!

The melody of the song “We honestly want to tell you” sounds and everyone except the Travelers begins to sing:
We honestly want to tell you
We don't want other teachers
They always help us
And they never scold us.

We can't live without them,
Our best teachers
They find an approach to us,
They are worthy of kind words!

How can I live without them, well, tell me, tell me,
Knowledge is important to us
Our best teachers
We will always respect them!

Traveler 1:
Tell me, do they let you go earlier?

Students in chorus:
Let go!

Traveler 2:
Do they give a lot of lessons?

Students in chorus:
Few!

Traveler 1:
Do they take you on excursions?

Students in chorus:
They're driving!

Traveler 2:
Are you preparing for exams?

Students in chorus:
They're getting ready!

Traveler 1:
Do teachers punish you?

Presenter:
Your school resembles a concentration camp.

Presenter:
Nobody shouts at our school
No one is in a hurry,
Everything is always explained clearly,
And everyone always understands children!

Schoolboy 1:
Our school is cozy, warm,
It's always easy for us here, it's good,
We always laugh from the heart
We make our dreams come true!

Schoolboy 2:
We gain knowledge
In class we always answer,
And also, we go to clubs,
We have fun all our days!

Traveler 1:
What about the food in the dining room? I love to eat!

Presenter:
We always have the most delicious and fresh baked goods, hearty and flavorful dishes!

Traveler 2:
If only we had such a school!

Presenter:
Understand that it is not the walls that make the school special, but the teachers and the people who work here. We get delicious food, thanks to the workers of our canteen (lists), a healthy body and a healthy mind, thanks to our physical education teachers (names names and patronymics), but we owe knowledge to the entire teaching staff (names all teachers).

Presenter:
We grow, develop, try and rejoice, learn and have fun. At this school we have become one big and friendly family, for which we tirelessly thank our teachers who try and work for us. And we, in turn, love and appreciate them.

Schoolboy 1:
At our school, every student tries to contribute, which is why our school is so special, friendly and bright.

Schoolboy 2:
Everything is in your hands, because only you can change your school, fill it with goodness and joy.

Traveler 1:
Yes, if you think about it, our school is not very bad, and the teachers are also trying, but we don’t understand them and constantly make them nervous.

Traveler 2:
It is no coincidence that we came to your school, you taught us a lot!

Traveler 1:
Now, just set the correct year, and you can fly!

Presenter:
You wanted to watch the rehearsal.

Traveler 2:
Another time somewhere in the future somehow another time sometime later. After your words, we wanted to do something nice and special for our teachers. If we hurry, we will have time to prepare our concert, the main thing is to come back a week before the holiday!

Presenter:
Well, then, we wish you good luck!

Presenter:
Wait! Here's our last year's script, it might come in handy! There are competitions and skits here.

Traveler 1:
Thank you very much! Next year we will come again, so to speak, to share our experience!

(Everyone says goodbye, the curtains go down. After this, the presenters appear on stage and the festive concert begins)