Tolstoy Lev Nikolaevich

Diaries

Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy

Diaries

Diary - 1847

Diary - 1850

Diary - 1851

Diary - 1852

Diary - 1853

Diary - 1854

Diary - 1855

Diary - 1856

Diary - 1857

Diary - 1857 (Travel notes in Switzerland)

Diary - 1858

Diary - 1859

Diary - 1860

Diary - 1861

Diary - 1862

Diary - 1863

Diary - 1864

Diary - 1865

Diary - 1870

Diary - 1871

Diary - 1873

Diary - 1878

Diary - 1879

Diary - 1881

Diary - 1882

Diary - 1883

Diary - 1884

Diary - 1885

Diary - 1886

Diary - 1887

Diary - 1888

Diary - 1889

Diary - 1890

Diary - 1891

Diary - 1892

Diary - 1893

Diary - 1894

Diary - 1895

Diary - 1896

Diary - 1897

Diary - 1898

Diary - Dialogue

Diary - 1899

Diary - 1900

Diary - 1901

Diary - 1902

Diary - 1903

Diary - 1904

Diary - 1905

Diary - 1906

Diary - 1907

Diary - 1908

"Secret" diary of 1908

Diary - 1909

Diary - 1910

"Diary for oneself"

Diary - 1847

March 17.[Kazan.] It’s been six days since I entered the clinic, and it’s been six days since I’m almost satisfied with myself. [...] Here I am completely alone, no one bothers me, here I have no service, no one helps me, therefore, nothing extraneous has an influence on my mind and memory, and my activity must necessarily develop. The main benefit is that I clearly saw that the disordered life that most secular people mistaken for a consequence of youth, is nothing more than a consequence of the early depravity of the soul.

Solitude is as useful for a person living in society as society is for a person not living in it. Separate a person from society, if he ascends into himself, and how soon the glasses that showed him everything in a wrong way will be thrown off his mind, and how his view of things will become clearer, so that it will not even be clear to him how he did not see all this before . Leave your reason to act, it will show you your purpose, it will give you rules with which you can boldly go into society. Everything that is consistent with the primary ability of man - reason, will be equally consistent with everything that exists; the mind of an individual person is a part of everything that exists, and a part cannot upset the order of the whole. The whole can kill the part. To do this, form your mind so that it is consistent with the whole, with the source of everything, and not with a part, with the society of people; then your mind will merge into one with this whole, and then society, as a part, will have no influence on you.

It is easier to write ten volumes of philosophy than to apply any one principle to practice.

18th of March. I read Catherine’s “Nakaz”, and since I generally gave myself the rule, when reading any serious work, to think about it and write out wonderful thoughts from it, I am writing here my opinion about the first six chapters of this wonderful work.

[...] The concepts of freedom under monarchical rule are the following: freedom, she says, is the ability of a person to do everything that he should do, and not be forced to do what he should not do. I would like to call out what she understands by the word should and should not; If by the word “what should be done” she means natural law, then it clearly follows that freedom can only exist in a state in whose legislation natural law does not differ in any way from positive law—a thought that is absolutely correct. [...]

March 19. A passion for science begins to emerge in me; Although this is the noblest of human passions, no less than that, I will never indulge in it one-sidedly, that is, completely killing the feeling and not engaging in application, solely striving to educate the mind and fill the memory. There is one-sidedness main reason human misfortunes. [...]

21 March. Chapter X sets out the basic rules and most dangerous mistakes related to criminal proceedings.

At the beginning of this chapter she asks herself a question. Where do punishments come from and where does the right to punish come from? She answers the first question: “Punishments arise from the need to protect the laws.” He also answers the second one quite wittily. She says: “The right to punish belongs to the laws alone, and only the monarch, as the representative of the entire state, can make laws.” In all this “Order” we are constantly presented with two heterogeneous elements that Catherine constantly wanted to agree on: namely, the consciousness of the need for constitutional government and pride, that is, the desire to be the unlimited ruler of Russia. For example, saying that in monarchical rule only a monarch can have legislative power; she takes the existence of this power as an axiom, without mentioning its origin. The lower government cannot impose punishments, because it is part of the whole, and the monarch has this right, because he is the representative of all citizens, says Catherine. But is the sovereign’s representation of the people in unlimited monarchies an expression of the totality of private, free wills of citizens? No, the expression of the general will in unlimited monarchies is the following: I tolerate a lesser evil, because if I did not tolerate it, I would be subjected to a greater evil.

March 24. I have changed a lot; but I still have not reached the degree of perfection (in my studies) that I would like to achieve. I do not do what I prescribe to myself; What I do, I don’t do well, I don’t strain my memory. To do this, I am writing here some rules, which, it seems to me, will help me a lot if I follow them. 1) Whatever is assigned to be fulfilled, do it no matter what. 2) Whatever you do, do it well. 3) Never consult a book if you have forgotten something, but try to remember it yourself. 4) Constantly force your mind to act with all its possible strength. 5) Read and think always loudly. 6) Don’t be ashamed to tell people who bother you that they are bothering you; first let him feel it, and if he doesn’t understand, then apologize and tell him so. In accordance with the second rule, I definitely want to finish commenting on Catherine’s entire order.

[...] Chapter XIII talks about handicrafts and trade. Catherine rightly notes that agriculture is the beginning of all trade and that in a land where people do not have their own property, agriculture cannot flourish; for people usually care more about things that belong to them than about things that can always be taken away from them. This is the reason why agriculture and trade cannot flourish in our country as long as slavery continues; for a person, subject to another, not only cannot be sure of constantly owning his property, but cannot even be sure of his own fate. Then: “Skilled farmers and artisans should be given bonuses.” In my opinion, in a state it is equally necessary to punish evil as to reward good.

Tolstoy Lev Nikolaevich

Tolstoy Lev Nikolaevich

Diaries and diary entries (1881-1887)

[DIARY 1881]

Wanderer of Poltava province, originally from Tobolsk. Tall, long-haired, handsome old man. He has everything with him: a knife, scissors, hooks, needles, birch tea, brick tea. Stories about walking around with small goods. He carried 6 poods per 100 verst. He buried 16 souls. They whipped me for my son, 60 rods. He is 62 years old. You can be flogged up to 57 years old. In the office for 3 rubles. for a rod, in the village, 5. - There is no truth. - Milk, pie, food for the convicts in the hallway. In winter, go to the bathhouse.

18 Apr. Destroy universities, i.e. everything fresh, truthful and educated. The dogs ate the sheep. One died, the lambs died. This one is eaten - she cries.

Konstantin's wife gave birth to a girl. It is cheaper to baptize in a church. Don't give the deacon water. About God-bearers. Smeared in mud. Laughing, holding on and snorting. I fed the cattle, they are gaining in Kochaki, I am happy. The bread has arrived. I'm not pushing. The horse was given, satisfied, happy.

Alexander Kozlov. Go to Samara. The main thing is to make the job easier. It’s still okay at home, but it’s difficult in captivity among people. The mother was given unction. The funeral is expected to cost 8 rubles in advance. -

M[at]v[ey] Egorov. As soon as he starts talking about his son, he cries. My grandson has lost weight. Who's good? who's nice? Who is the owner? And I stopped talking. The daughter-in-law knocks down the 2nd son. I'm a cook, you're a coachman.

Shchekinsky man. Consumption. Choking with blood, sweat. I've been bleeding for 20 years now. He mowed down buckwheat and reached for the men. Springs. The shirt is wet. He drinks until his nose drips.

A joke was made on the wife. Damage. Screams. Elbows on the stove, in winter. My sister needs help. I’m plowing, I’ll walk 5 furrows, I’m resting. Koshu. If only God tidied it up and to the side.

But he doesn’t believe that he will die.

Yegor's armless daughter-in-law. I came to ask for a horse. Yours light hand. Foreman 20 k., the shopkeeper gave corned beef.

After lunch, Onisim. There's a beard in the bag. What to do? Forgive? As you say. The quarrel arose over water. Ivan dug a ditch and lowered it into the yard to On[isim]. Then he let me into the barn. - Yashutkin’s little grandson began to contradict. Broke the shovel. The old man came out: “It’s you that I need.” My cheekbone hurts, I haven’t eaten bread all week.

19 Newspapers. Villagers, work, refrain, submit to your superiors. — In Gatchina I received drummers, timpani players, and buglers. Change uniforms.

19 Apr. The Babur[in] people came to ask for taxes, I don’t have money, I refused.

Two wanderers are soldiers.

All the missing people are soldiers or cripples. -

The Shchekino man, cruel, timid, frank, short, asked for money - he refused.

Babur[insky] man with a boy. A drunken man was cutting a knot and cut his nose. We were treated in the hospital for 22 days, stayed for 5 days. 50 k. I couldn’t give it away. "Let's go to the police department." - He went, they brought him into the room, they locked him: “When you bring it, then we’ll let you out.” I left the bread. - Nikita Salamasovskaya, asked for poverty, gave 3 rubles.

Shchekinsky and distant.

Ivan Emelyanov Shchek[insky] for a horse, very poor. I bought a hut.

A Sinyavinsky man was in jail on suspicion of stealing wheat, awaiting trial for 4 months. Asked for oats. - Father and son stole 17 measures of wheat (for the penalty of a stone), and were imprisoned for another six months.

Kolpenskaya boy, 12 years old. The eldest, smaller 9 and 6. Father and mother died. Grandma went and put out some bread. Now the bread is finished. Uncle took the land. The foreman says: we’ll place you somewhere.

Bogoroditsky district - a soldier with his son.

A soldier from Shchekin is feverish. Boy.

Bogoyavlensky was expelled from the university.

Kharinsky - horse - 9 rubles, feeds 5 souls. -- Burnt Ivan Kolchanov. Golovensky is a horse.

Soldier of the Chernigov province.

23 Ap. I went to the village. Lokhmachev’s illness spoils him like needles. Baba is hiding with Dmitry Makarych and Ivan. Nobody went. “I know from my poverty.” In a tavern, a soldier begs for alms. Vasily brought out half a slice. "Nobody is buying."

Matv[ey] Egor[ov] has priests in his hut. In the backyard at the gate they howl in 6 voices. The owner is a boy sitting on a bunk. Sitniks on moved, set tables. -

Sergei: “We are ripe for the harvest—the hair is gray.”

Soldier Kozlov asks for a place at the factory: when the cold grows, the old grows. - You took off your hat, you can’t talk. -

Baba from Sudakov. We got burned. She jumped out as she was. The son climbs into the fire. I still have to disappear. There is no horse. The judges took the horse. Because he led someone else's. -

Man Kryltsovsky. Small, pathetic. The horse died. Did not give. Osip Naumych. The constable ordered the bees to be taken out of the garden, but they flew around. Karp too.

3 soldiers were begging for alms.

The soldier is cheerful and has been walking for 16 years. -

Pirovskaya man. Vlasov offended. 200 rub. didn't receive it. From the men for not wanting to hold the land, 55 rubles. fine[fu]. Cockfight. Mortgages. Man.

24 Apr. The soldier offered a book. Widow Kolpenskaya. 5 children (35 k.). Alexander Kopylov. The horse died and did not foal.

Baburinskaya is lame, refused.

25. Yesterday conversations with Seryozha and Urusov. Today she’s a poor treasurer, drunk. Grumant widow. The boy will plow. The horse asked. Did not give.

Golovensky is a crooked old man with his caftan rolled up over his shoulder. 7 rubles per horse Crying. Don't offend people, remember God. Understood.

Lord have mercy. -

Konstantin sent a note with a girl... He was really tired. I was plowing, there was no piece of bread. The children gave it. -- 3 wanderers.

26 A. Myasoedovskaya woman, small. From a distance she knelt down, “handling”. She left immediately. - The Goroden women will open up. The agent said: line up, I won’t charge you. He will be fined. For 10 rubles. But I won't chase. The agent privately allows. - But officially it’s impossible. They don’t try because, based on per capita income, field land cannot be occupied.

Kislinsky to ask. Larivon Fedorov.

"Fine 10 rubles." Yes, we wouldn’t have stood there. But it’s impossible, father, to go to the world court now. Let them be fined. 10 rub. wherever it went.

Shchekinsky old woman. I was behind two husbands.. They tried everything on. He walks and begs. He's joking. “I’m old, you can’t fatten me up.”

A drunken beggar - a noblewoman with her daughter.

Gorodensky, consumptive, and his son walked all day before me. Sow oat tithe. - He was crawling on his knees. I got it from the decogu.

Shchekinskaya is crazy, about the mill, “let’s say” - I didn’t understand what was needed.

Kryltsovskaya woman's petition to help a soldier out of service.

27 Ap. Vologda young man, sick, with icons and mallow. Offers to buy.

A soldier from Tverskaya, Novotorzhskaya, heard about Shevalino, that the people are merciful. The ragged old woman, Odoevskaya. Old woman Myasoedovskaya.

Yesterday Masha herself gave 20 kopecks, no one saw it.

Burned without me, my wife burned. - Old woman Kolpenskaya. I reproached him, my son has 8 children and has no bread. I started crying. - I went to Degotna. At the cemetery, an old soldier was straightening the grave of an old woman. “He’s been going around for a year now, looking for benefits. “My eyes would not look at entering the village”). I walked around the saint with images. We spent the night. The old women pray to God all night, the candles are burning. - How Parmen was flogged. He stole money, squash and beer to buy in a tavern. - He's been walking around for a year, looking for benefits. They gave a certificate, but the years were wrong by 6 years. “I’m not the only one, there are a lot of people walking around.” One abandoned, the other died this winter, walking.

Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy kept diaries for many years. In them, he openly talked about his mistakes, misdeeds and ordinary actions that he performed throughout the day.

We have selected several interesting facts from the diaries of Leo Tolstoy:

1. “I never had a diary because I did not see any benefit from it. Now, when I am developing my abilities, from the diary I will be able to judge the progress of this development. The diary should contain a table of rules, and the diary should have My future actions are also determined. In exactly a week I’m going to the village. What should I do this week? Study English and in Latin, Roman law and rules. Namely: read "Vicar of Wakefield", having studied all the unfamiliar words, and go through the 1st part of the grammar; read the first part of the institutions, both for the benefit of the language and of Roman law, and complete the rules internal education, and win back what was lost to Lama in chess."

He analyzed his actions, determining what feelings guided him at one time or another.

2. "...I got up a little late and read, but didn’t have time to write. Poiret arrived, started fencing, but didn’t send him (laziness and cowardice). Ivanov came and talked to him for too long (cowardice). Koloshin (Sergei) came to drink vodka, he was not sent away (cowardice). Ozerov argued about stupidity (habit of arguing) and did not talk about what was needed, cowardice. Beklemishev did not have (weakness of energy). At the gymnastics I didn’t pass the binding (cowardice), and didn’t do one thing because it hurt (tenderness). Gorchakov lied (lie). Didn't study English at home (lack of hardness). At the Volkonskys he was unnatural and absent-minded, and stayed up until one o'clock (absent-mindedness, desire to show off and weakness of character).”

And here is how Leo Tolstoy felt about sleep. Developing the rules that he tried to follow every day, the writer also talked about some restrictions:

3. "Rule 1) Every morning, assign yourself everything that you must do throughout the whole day, and fulfill everything assigned, even if fulfilling what was assigned entailed some harm. In addition to developing the will, this rule will also develop the mind, which "It will be more thoughtful to determine the actions of the will. Rule 2) Sleep as little as possible (sleep, in my opinion, is a position of a person in which there is absolutely no will)."

An interesting remark by Leo Tolstoy about fatigue:

4. "...Allow yourself to do physical labor (hunting, gymnastics), in order to give rest to the mind, only when the mind has really worked hard. Otherwise, apathy, laziness of the mind, which the best way to destroy is to work, is often mistaken for fatigue. Fatigue can only occur after work; and work can only be called what is expressed externally."

And women writers... Should we take up the pen?

5. "...I woke up very late today and with that dissatisfied mood. [...] Bad mood and anxiety prevented me from studying. I read “Nadya,” Zhukova’s story. Before, it was enough for me to know that the author of the story was a woman , so as not to read it. Because nothing can be funnier than a woman’s view of a man’s life, which they often undertake to describe; on the contrary, in the sphere of women, a female author has a huge advantage over us. Nadenka is very well furnished; but her face is too lightly and vaguely sketched; it is clear that the author was not guided by one thought."

photo rexfeatures.com/fotodom

At the age of 19, A. N. Tolstoy began writing diaries about his life. He continued to write them until his death, with some relatively short breaks. Keeping diaries was something of an innovation in 1847, akin to personal LJ in our time. In any case, I am not aware of other similar diaries of great people of that time. Tolstoy wrote down the tasks for the next day (goals) in his diary, noted the progress of their implementation (often non-fulfillment), scolded himself, and also analyzed his behavior and feelings. The diaries also served as a place where Tolstoy wrote down the “rules of life.” That’s exactly what he called his notes about how to behave in society, with affairs, with goals, with activities, etc. Perhaps Tolstoy, long before modern “coaches” and trainers, defined the basic laws life success or, as they say now, “personal growth.”

For example, Tolstoy set himself guidelines for “pick-up in clubs.”
As soon as you enter the ball, you are immediately invited to dance and do a waltz or polka tour. At the ball, invite the most important ladies to dance.

I personally for a long time I didn’t know that Tolstoy kept diaries. I have not read War and Peace, nor have I read Childhood, or Youth, or other works of this greatest man. I came upon these diaries by accidentally reading on the Internet an excerpt from his diary: “slept criminally until eleven.” This phrase aroused in me great interest in the contents of his diaries. And I was not mistaken.

What interesting things can you note from reading?

Young Tolstoy was characterized by all the typical vices of youth and youth. This is the uncontrollable desire of women (“tomorrow I will use all means to have a girl”), vanity (“Before I was vain of wealth, name. Now with kindness, simplicity of treatment”), laziness (“Help me, Lord: overcome my laziness - get used to work and fall in love with him”), drunkenness and revelry (“I changed these rules, namely not to drink, every day”). It is interesting to note two things separately. Firstly, he scolded himself for such manifestations of the weakness of his will, although he constantly broke down. Secondly, these vices did not prevent him from working hard on writing, developing his will and hard work. Such work on himself led him to the heights of literary and philosophical fame.

Tolstoy in at different ages repeatedly noted that work brings him happiness. When he set his goals for the next day, completed them, and could go to bed with a feeling of satisfaction from the tasks completed - he felt happy.

Work, work! How happy I feel when I work!

It was extremely useful and interesting to note that Tolstoy repeatedly noted the importance of will for one’s own development and achievement of success. He spent a lot of time thinking about the question of will. Thus, he divided the will into bodily will, sensory will and rational will. Listed in ascending order of complexity of education. In addition, at some period of his life, Tolstoy emphasized the development of will as the main goal of his life.

What tormented me for a long time was that I don’t have a single sincere thought or feeling that would determine the entire direction of life - everything is as it will be; now, it seems to me, I have found a sincere idea and a constant goal, this is the development of the will, a goal to which I have been striving for a long time; but which I only now recognized not just as an idea, but as an idea that became close to my soul.

So, for example, he completely rewrote the work Childhood three (!) times. Pen. In his diary he writes that if he had the patience to rewrite it a fourth time, it would have turned out well.

Of course, as I wrote above, Tolstoy kept a diary, including for the constant analysis of his own behavior, thoughts and feelings. This implies total honesty with yourself. There is no self-deception: on the contrary, deep reflection and introspection. Even later, already at the end of his years, during a discussion with the editor about the publication of the story of his life, he wished not to hide the dark (rather socially disapproved) spots of his biography, especially his youth, and to appear real, not only to himself, but also to his readers .

Tolstoy believed that in order to achieve your goals, you need to follow a system, be structured, consistent and logical. At the same time, he knew that man is subject to passions. Therefore, he invented and wrote out rules of life for himself, which he tried to follow in order to pacify his passions. He didn't always succeed, but I think in the end it was this systems approach led him to such stunning success that he entered world history, as a wonderful writer and philosopher.

Of course, his rules of life deserve a separate review. They are listed separately in the publications that I read. You can and should meditate on them for hours, soaking in their meaning. But at the same time, when applying them to yourself, think about their feasibility and usefulness and, of course, argue with them, coming up with better ones.

Three main points to remember:

1. At the age of 23, Tolstoy did not know that he would be great, but only asked himself the question “am I really ordinary, am I really not destined to do something great?”
2. Development of will - the main objective life.
3. Logic, consistency, patience and structure make all the difference. Failures, i.e. deviations from the rules are inevitable even among the great.

The most important. From Tolstoy’s diaries (especially the early ones) it can be seen that he “suffered” from all the problems typical of young people. In other words, he was ordinary. What distinguished him at first was wish become great. What distinguished him later was his will, perseverance and work. He worked hard, did it consistently and became what we know him to be. Great people are not born. People become great through many years of daily work. And in the beginning - yes - in the beginning there was a word (thought).

Publications in the Literature section

Be lazy like Leo Tolstoy

Do you cherish the dream of literary fame, but can’t start writing? Self-admiration gets in the way, bad habits and laziness? We re-read the diaries of Leo Tolstoy, remember how he struggled with procrastination, and begin to move towards a great goal.

Ivan Kramskoy. Portrait of L.N. Tolstoy (fragment). 1873. State Tretyakov Gallery

Keep yourself a diary

Leo Tolstoy kept diaries most own life. In them, he not only described events, but also talked about his own moral qualities, literature and the high purpose of a writer. If you decide to keep a diary like Leo Tolstoy, you will have to talk to yourself in it - first of all, set goals for the future:

Reproach yourself for doing nothing and immediately be inspired by other people’s examples:

March 21, 1855. Did not do anything. I received a delightful letter from Masha, in which she describes to me her acquaintance with Turgenev. Sweet, glorious letter, which elevated me to own opinion and stimulating activity.

Write down various obscenities and feel nostalgic for your early works:

June 4, 1856. I got up at 5, walked, I admit, with terribly erotic thoughts. I read Pushkin's first poems. Then I sorted out my old notebooks, incomprehensible, but cute game.

Be sure to write down in your diary the rules you intend to live by.

December 1853 - January 1854
“Is it bad or good to always work”, “Get up before sunrise”,
“Always write everything clearly and clearly”, “In the morning, determine the activities for the day and try to fulfill them”.

Rules may apply not only to work, but also to your moral character generally:

Just record them, even if you feel in your gut that you won’t always be able to follow the rules.

Confess to yourself your worst vices

Be honest with yourself: you need to know your own vices, like your enemies, by sight. Set your priorities and begin to eradicate character flaws:

September 6, 1854. The most important thing for me in life is correction from laziness, irritability and lack of character. Love for everyone and contempt for yourself!

At the same time, no one forbids you to later rethink your vices and accept yourself for who you are. Or at least separate relative disadvantages from absolute ones.

July 14, 1855. Perhaps I will not rework my character, but will do only one and important stupidity out of a desire to rework it. Is indecisiveness a major flaw—one that needs to be corrected?<...>There are absolute shortcomings, such as: laziness, lies, irritability, selfishness, which are always shortcomings.

Practice your vices constantly. Take a break from your main task

You sat down to work, but your friend Gorchakov came? Enjoy it! Do you like your mustache? Look at them in the mirror, and then write it all down in your diary.

July 11, 1854... Just before the evening I wrote very little. Why? Laziness, indecision and passion to look at your mustache and fistulas. For which I reproach myself twice.

Get up late, get irritated. Take it out on your loved ones. In winter you can afford to mope, especially critical situations- even tell fortunes. Break your own rules. And don’t forget to write about it in your diary - for yourself and your future biographers.

January 9, 1854. 1) Got up late. 2) Got excited, beat Alyoshka. 3) I was lazy. 4) Was disorderly. 5) Was sad.

January 10 and 11, 1854. I got up very late and couldn’t do anything because of the cold.<...>After dinner he went to Zhukevich and spent the entire evening and night carelessly.
<...>

1) Lying around. 2) Lost spirit. 3) I got angry - I hit the cat and 4) I completely forgot about the rules. 5) Fortune teller.

Lose your last money at cards. Always tell yourself what it is last time. Trust that God will save you from troubles. Although it is possible that by this moment you have already lost your house in Yasnaya Polyana.

January 28, 1855. I played Stoss for two days and two nights. The result is clear - the loss of everything - the Yasnaya Polyana house. It seems there is nothing to write - I am so disgusted with myself that I would like to forget about my existence.

February 6, 7, 8, 1855. I played cards again and lost another 200 rubles in silver. I can’t promise myself to stop, I want to get even, but together I can get terribly confused... Tomorrow I’ll invite Odakhovsky to play, and this will be the last time.

February 12, 1855. Again I lost 75 rubles. God still has mercy on me so that there will be no troubles; but what happens next? There is only one hope for him!

If you are too lazy to do something, be sure to write about it in your diary. Celebrate this fact as often as possible. Perhaps in the end you’ll just get tired of being lazy and you’ll get down to business.

July 12, 1855. I didn’t write anything all day, read Balzac, and only occupied myself with the new box. 1) Laziness, 2) Laziness, 3) Laziness...

Make Your Weaknesses Serve Your Purpose

Do you remember how you once lamented the fact that pride and vanity are one of your main vices? Look at them with different eyes. If your constant enemies are laziness and irritability, then vanity will help you overcome them.

Compare yourself with one of your colleagues. First of all, with someone who writes a lot and productively and, perhaps, has already bought himself old castle in France for royalties.

Constantly remind yourself of how much you want to become famous. If you have both a healthy writing vanity and a high goal, that's a huge plus.

September 17, 1855. Still, the only thing, the main thing and prevailing over all other inclinations and activities should be literature. My goal is literary fame. The good that I can do with my writings...

Quit your job and get married

Be more decisive. Resign to focus on your literary career.

September 17, 1855. ...Tomorrow I’m going to Koroles and asking to resign, and in the morning I’m writing “Youth”.

At some point, admit to yourself: you will be lost if you don’t start doing something. And start at least small.

Get married. Even if you think that it is not necessary at all, and you will be distracted even more. You will write about this in your diary later.

August 28, 1862. I am 34 years old. I got up with the habit of sadness... I worked, wrote in vain in letters to Sonya... Nasty face, don’t think about marriage, your calling is different, and you’ve been given a lot.

Love and marriage can help you get your life in order.

February 8, 1863. We are in Yasnaya... I feel so good, so good, I love her so much. The management and business of the magazine are good... How everything is clear to me now... All of it. She does not know and will not understand how she transforms me, without comparison, more than I transform her.

And when you start writing your most famous novel, your wife may even be helping you. For example, rewriting complete drafts while you write new chapters. Isn't this luck for a writer?