Army statuses about life. Statuses about the army for girls, guys and their parents

Nowadays, statuses with an army theme are in great demand among Internet users. And not only among those people who actually served in the army, but also those who are waiting for their loved one from the ranks of the armed forces of Russia. There is a huge number of funny, and sometimes not very, poems, stories and stories on the army theme. Many of them are widely used as statuses. Statuses about the army often contain elements of obscene lexicon and are not always applicable to the Internet, but they are no less attractive to the reading population. Many of the Internet users specifically find and collect statuses about the army.

They share them with their friends, and those who served in the ranks of the armed forces with their colleagues. These lines say a lot about army life. Most often this is presented with humor, because it is not for nothing that they say that no matter how hard it is, only pleasant and funny moments are remembered about service in the army. And even the negative is spoken of in a humorous manner. Some phrases have become catchphrases long ago and have been passed down from generation to generation since the Second World War. Statuses about the army have long become an integral part of Russian folklore and are very often used in everyday speech.

1. God forbid us, from night alarms, from the rise of the early, from the scream of the day, from the march of the throw of a distant and thorny forest, from a strict grandfather and a devil foreman!

2. I am sitting at the bottom of the trench, I look sad, my bottom is wet because it is drizzling.

3. How are you? - Things are like in a fairy tale, no meat, no sausages. I saw eggs only in the bathhouse - between the legs of Vanya's grandfather!

5. Mom, I will be demobilized in half a year, get a pig, call him Prapor. I’ll come and cut it!

6. The army is a wonderland! I sat down to poop - the belt disappeared!

7. Only in the Russian army a round is worn, and a square one is rolled.

8. The first days of military service are reminiscent of the wedding night. How not cool, but still fuck!

9. By itself, serving in the army will not add much intelligence, but a fair amount of foolishness is guaranteed to knock out!

10. Dembel is inevitable! the spirit said in a low whisper, wiping his tears with a dirty doormat.

11. Human life is a book, and for many, military service has become pages torn from this book in its most interesting place.

12. Every soldier must remember that he protects not only the peace of his entire country, but also the dream of the guy who sleeps with his girlfriend!

13. The soldier's supper is a tricky thing, he ate it and, as it were, not!

14. Those who have not been in the army cannot understand how they want to eat or just sleep. No screams of orderlies, no stomping of feet, no early rises and late alarms. How you want to just go for a walk with a pretty girl to hold hands. But again the rise and forward to the exercises, exercises, shooting, sheer torment! And all the soldiers are waiting for the desired order, the day will come, the citizen wait for us!

15. Comrades soldiers, your company commander is addressing you! In connection with the onset of cold weather, I kindly ask you to wear hats, because there is a risk of meningitis. This disease is fatal, if you are lucky, the survivor will be a fool. This is how my brother and I got sick. My brother died, and I was lucky!

16. Comrades soldiers need to dig a trench from this fence until dawn!

17. A bad soldier who does not dream of scribbling "Dembel is inevitable" with a nail on his general's brand new car!

18. The army, as they say, is a voluntary matter, but why then it is impossible to resign of your own free will ?!

19. People who have served in the army in the circus do not laugh.

20. The army is an excellent school of life, but according to the majority of those who passed it, it is better to study there by correspondence!

The army is a test for two: he hopes for her loyalty, and she hopes that the same loved one will return to her.

Today I come, and there is a rose at home! It turns out from a loved one who is now in the army. Here's the news.

Hooray! I waited for him! He returned from the army, and now we will be inseparable! You are my Everything!

Someone mows from the army, and someone goes there to roll away from ordinary life.

Best status:
Wherever the service would take you, know that there is a girl's heart in the world, which beats in unison with yours and is waiting for you!

- Will you wait for me from the army? - Yes. - Well, then I'll be waiting for you too. - Where did I come from? - How? From the hospital.

The countdown of the days to the army perfectly stimulates the desire to learn!

Being a soldier's girlfriend is honorable, but not easy!

Girls, you can understand: Yes, it's not easy to wait for a soldier. But is it easier to protect girls with a gun?

That's all: he went to the army ... and I have to wait ... and I will definitely wait! Necessarily, beloved!

Stock! Hand over your rag to us and get a normal guy! Girls, hurry up! Limited number of seats! Military enlistment office.

How time changes! Now, even herring under a fur coat is no longer hunting, and in the army, bread under a blanket was a delicacy.

I will always wait for you ... I love you ... and therefore even eternity is not a period ...

I am a Soldier Girl, and I am proud of that!

As the senior in rank says, you won't hear anything smart

I will always wait for you, my beloved! I will remember, believe, live and not give up!

Bald little green men are not delirium tremens and not fantasy! It's an ARMY!)

There are kilometers between us now, hundreds of gray, alien cities, all the prohibitions could be lifted now, and my love would be hugged me!

just a little bit left and I can breathe in your favorite scent ... calm sigh you will soon be there ...

Despite the huge distance between us, you are the only real thing that I have.

There are kilometers between us now, hundreds of gray, alien cities, all the prohibitions could be lifted now, and my love would be hugged me!

Let it be difficult in the days of separation and unbearable without you, but no matter how difficult it was, I can still wait, darling !!!

Good morning my beloved! The strongest and most beautiful! I love you! You are my! My protector! My hero!

I will wait for you, no matter what happens ... no matter what happens ... I will always wait for you ... you are the brightest thing that I have in my life ...

shorter fucking again, all over again ... and now I'm waiting for him from the army

and I also love and wait, very much ... although I still have a long time ... but I will still wait because I love

Alas, only military units remained from the army ...

Your letter to me is like a gift, don't forget about this, you send it without stamps, and don't send it without love!

Hours fly by, days pass, there is less and less to serve, to wait a little longer, and HAPPINESS will smile at us again !!!

I believe that when He comes from the army, everything will be fine with us, but sometimes “happy” stories are thrown into it, like someone else's ...

I miss you so much, my dear one, I miss you so much ... I look forward to meeting you, my dear one, I really look forward to it ... I do not notice anyone but you ... I am so crazy ... and unthinkably .. I love

Waiting for a soldier is a brave thing, I would praise the girls for that. Only in the army will a guy understand What kind of girl she loves and waits for.

I know you want to come, and you can't ... it's the same thing again ... But I'm waiting for you!

Remember yourself, Tell another, The more you sleep - The closer to home!

Sleep, dear girl, Close your eyes as soon as possible, Your beloved in a blue beret, Now protects your peace.

Comrade Cadet, you make me think!

And this is not so scary, the main thing is to believe ... a little bit is left and I will again plunge into the bottomlessness of your beloved eyes ...

Those who served in the army do not laugh in the circus.

Your letter to me is like a gift, do not forget about this, you send it without stamps, and do not send it without love!

My dear. I will wait for you for a year, but at least all my life. The most important thing is that you are by my side. I love you my sun !!!

You have changed your status. There are new moments in life. You, my boy, are private! I love you for this!

A girl waiting for a guy from the army is a museum rarity ...)

This day will be the brightest, This holiday is only yours and mine, The kiss will be the hottest, On the day when you return home ...

0 missed calls He loves you silently and at a distance.

Salty tears flow down my cheeks And the thought remains in my head: "I will wait, I will never give it to anyone, Even though it will be difficult for me."

This distance is like a thin needle, which penetrates deeper into the heart and stings with each dem more and more acutely !!!

It is not easy for both of us, After all, now you are far away, You serve in the army, dear, We will meet soon, beloved!

The ass is soapy, the neck is sweaty - the company officer is running.

It is a pity that we are not together, It is a pity that we are not close. You serve, my dear, Receive awards!

I want to connect my life with him, and he tells me that I can't wait for him from the army 🙁

Love is stronger in separation and suffering, and whoever did not wait, yes, he did not love!

Promotion for girls: bring your rag to the military registration and enlistment office, and you will get a real man in 12 months

The sappers walk slowly, but it's better not to overtake them ...

"A soldier will not offend a child" shouted the children, throwing stones at the paratrooper

Whoever touches the soldier's girl will become a mystery to honey. brother ...

I read his letters with a smile, fall asleep with a smile after talking with him ... He is right, we are really crazy ... Isn't it wonderful? ... It's hard to wait for him, very ... But it's worth it ...

Beloved in the army ... but I am not upset that on such a holiday I will sit at home ... mentally this evening he is with me ... I am the happiest !!!

Desires increase expectations, and expectations narrow the distances ... - I wait and wake up to wait

When the girl is 18. And the guy is demobilized in a year. He does not need to worry. No one is waiting for him.

Baby, beloved, my sun! I WAIT for you ... ... I MISS you !!! ...

Right now, what time is allocated in the army in order to be in contact. Sit 0-oh?

beloved in the army .. but I'm not upset that on such a holiday I will sit at home .. meaningfully this evening he is with me .. I am the happiest !!!

That my heart is given to you! See you! I'm waiting! I love! I miss..

Yes, you left, but you will return to drink and dance again, to kiss your young lips again, painfully hard!

HOME DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE LATE, WHO LOVES, WHO CAN WAIT

This distance is like a thin needle that penetrates deeper into the heart and colitis every day more and more acutely !!!

you are in the army ... and I miss you so much ... your "love" ...

in a month my kitten will come from the army = * I love him very much =

There is just a little left and I can breathe in your favorite scent ... calm sigh, you will soon be there ...

What is the army doing? - she makes a man out of a boy! - not only, she also has feelings for strength!

I promise to love and wait, Until you return home! With difficulty, I let you go. But know, beloved, that you are mine!

Your army life, Not a hindrance to love. Dear, I will wait for you, If only you loved me!

That my heart is given to you! See you! I'm waiting! I love! I miss…

My dear, I'll wait for you! The army will not part us. I'm not afraid of parting, Waiting will not get bored!

he's half a year in the army. I missed his lips so much.

If a girl waits for a boyfriend, this is not a girl, but a historical value!

The army is a school for boys and an exam for girls.

I am ready to wait for you, I am waiting for you, I am ready ...

I believe you will come to me from afar, And again I will feel your gaze on me ... Everything will be fine, but for now I will wait for you, my beloved soldier!

My dear, I miss you! I will wait for you as long as necessary! You will return to me from the army And then we will be close again!

I read the status that the girl waited for a guy from the army and met him already ... my ... tears again ... 361 days left to wait ...

Loving a soldier is pride To forget a soldier is meanness And being with a soldier is an honor That not all girls have

The girl is like a parachute. may refuse. so you need to have a spare

my task is to wait. your task: to return as you were.

You left, but I'll wait for you. And all this because I love you very much! You are the meaning of my life and I am ready to wait for you forever!

I sit and sob to the song Friday Soldier. He's in the army, my little boy ...

Who does not believe let them be silent, and I will wait for you soldier !!!

Letter from the army. - With one hand I am writing you a letter, and with the other I think about you, dear!

The water in the cadet's boots is quietly splashing, I will never forget my sergeant!

Summer will soon replace winter, There will be rain and hot wind! I'm still waiting for you, darling, From a long army exile

Waiting for you ... I listen to the time ...

Am I waiting?, Counting the days on the calendar, and for that I only adore this life ...

- Vasya, do you love me? - Fed, I don't love you, I respect you. -No, Vasya, you must love me. Otherwise, we will not mow!

And this is not so scary, the main thing is to believe ... a little bit is left and I will once again plunge into the bottomlessness of your beloved eyes ...

Well, we have already agreed with him: first I am waiting for him from the army, and then he is waiting for me from the hospital

The army is an inevitable phenomenon, and most young people no longer strive to run away from it, as in the 1990s. According to statistics from the Ministry of Defense, 75% of men between the ages of 18 and 27 served in the Russian Armed Forces. The compulsory military service has ceased to be a scarecrow and for many 1 or 2 years "in boots" have become a source of pleasant memories and a time of gaining invaluable experience.

This is the reason for the increased popularity of the corresponding type of folklore - poems, jokes, songs and quotes about the army, service, customs of soldiers and officers.

"Great minds" of the world about the army

Most significant personalities for history were the commanders of armies, the rulers of their states, or for a long time moved in military circles. Ancient thinkers, ministers and presidents of different countries, generals - they all left a legacy to the world with many quotes about the army and the circumstances associated with it:

• Endurance and patience are required of a soldier. Courage is optional. (Napoleon Bonaparte)
  
• no heavier than the chains of a prisoner of war. (Dwight D. Eisenhower)
  
• Any business can be done in 3 ways: right, wrong and "like in the army." (American proverb)
• Once defeated armies learn well. (V.I. Lenin)
• In the army, death is not considered a valid excuse for not following an order. (Russian proverb)
  

Army officers' statements

This layer of quotes about the army is filled with humor, because most of it comes from the casual slips of the military. Moreover, in the early 90s, a small collection of statements by officers of the Soviet Army was even released, many of which were pronounced back in the 1970s. They are still laughed at.

• You live like pigs in a den!
• Dig from the fence until lunchtime. I agreed with the shovels.
• Be silent, I ask you!
• After the "Hang up" command, it gets dark.

However, there is also a serious layer of aphorisms dedicated to senior officers:

• Generals are always preparing for the last war. (W. Churchill )
• Nothing raises morale like a dead general . ( John Masters)
• An officer doesn't make a good commander if he stops being afraid of a corporal. (Bruce Marshall)

Soldier's ingenuity

Generalissimo Alexander Suvorov spoke most of the soldiers at one time. Including:

• Every warrior must know his own maneuver.
• Where the deer will pass, the soldier will pass there.
• While the battle is going on, help out healthy comrades, and they will pick up the wounded without you. If you beat the enemy, it will be good: both wounded and healthy.
• Service and friendship, as 2 parallel lines - do not converge.
• Among the lower ranks there are also heroes.
• Easy to learn - hard to hike, hard to learn - easy to hike.

In addition to a serious "bloc", there are very much in demand about the army, which praise the soldier's ingenuity, his stupidity and unenviable position.

• When you become a soldier, forget your ordinary dreams. Kiss with a machine gun and give flowers to the ensign.
• A soldier is considered demobilized.
• If the soldier says "did not take", it means that he will not give up.
• If you want to become a soldier, swear at the dean.
• A soldier is always a brazen face, an empty stomach and not an ounce of conscience!

Aphorisms and statuses of girls

It just so happened that there are not too many quotes about the army for girls waiting for guys from the army. There is only one widely known and not with the most pleasant meaning: "A girl who has waited for her boyfriend in" civilian "is a museum rarity."

Most of the popular folklore on this topic is represented by phrases for statuses on social networks, where the fair sex tries to express their longing for lovers. Among them:

• I'm a soldier girl!
• He was waiting for me after school, and now I'm waiting for him. From the army.
• There are 4 hours by bus between us, but I cannot overcome the checkpoint of your unit.
• Many have guys, but not everyone has a soldier.

Sometimes, among the statuses and quotes about the army for girls, there are also approaches with humor:

• The girl waiting for the army guy is not Hachiko. But well done too!
• The army is a bitch. Leads our guys away.
• I solemnly pledge allegiance to my beloved soldier. I swear to strictly fulfill the duties of a "waiting girl", to sew off males and courageously defend our love! (Oath of Allegiance) .
• Favorite favor for you. 365 nights.

The main thing about the war

Among the quotes about the army, they occupy a separate place - a rather serious and terrifying phenomenon. As a rule, they don't even joke about him "just like that". The thinkers of antiquity and contemporaries all recognize the necessity and even some inevitability of military action in the world:

• The goal of any war is to achieve peace. (Aristotle )
• The first victims of war are truth, common sense, and negotiation. (Johnson Hiram)
  
• War is war. It requires iron discipline. (V.I. Lenin)
• Victory depends on the valor of the legions. (Guy Julius Caesar)
• Money is the essence of the artillery of war. (Peter the Great)
• The war ends when the last soldier is buried. (Alexander Suvorov)
• Either humanity will end the war, or war with humanity. (D. Kennedy)
• Someday wars will go out of style, or people will.

In general, army humor occupies a considerable part of folklore and includes not only thoughtful and humorous statements, but also dialogues, stories, anecdotes and poetic forms.

Not so long ago, each user could only place a "talking" picture on his page. She conveyed the mood, position in society and the characteristics of the life span of the account owner. Today, on social networks (Odnoklassniki, VKontakte, Facebook), you can leave a text message, which is often called a status. It is visible to everyone who looks at the page, and is able to immediately orient the visitor how interesting personal communication can be.

The topic of the article is statuses about the army. The content will be interesting not only for young people, but also for parents. Let's consider the most interesting options.

What tasks does the status solve?

Through status, you can not only tell about your mood, but also demonstrate intelligence, a sense of humor, awareness, addictions. This will save you a lot of questions from casual page visitors and friends.

Statuses about the army for girls

If the guy received a summons, then the girl can write:

• An army is 365 days, 525,600 minutes and a whopping 31,546,000 seconds. The countdown will start tomorrow ...
• My dear goes to the army to pay back his debt to the Motherland. I’m second only to her. But no more debt to anyone!
• Tomorrow I say goodbye to my dear. We have an agreement with him: I accompany him to the army, he me - to the hospital.

For those who are already waiting:

• A week has passed since the dear was taken into the army. Already missing...
• Love can only be tested in suffering, and whoever did not wait simply did not love!
• The army, like a female bitch, takes the best of the guys.
• From wake up to dusk, I wait for the desired soldier.

Very often, statuses about the army are written in order to convey a sense of pride in a guy:

• Everyone is afraid of the Russian army. Especially between the ages of 18 and 27. I am proud of my Andrey, who is not one of them!
• Mine went to the army to cut ... from the institute.
• The army took my protector from me, but it failed to take my heart away. Artyom, you are the best ...

Lyrics for guys

Young men deservedly want to emphasize their belonging to the RA or their attitude to it. A guy's status about the army might look like this:

• It won't surprise me if guys in blue berets show up at the White House the day after the declaration of war. (Ronald Reagan.)
• To love a soldier is pride and honor. Do you have these qualities?
• Soldier! Your girlfriend didn't wait for you? She just realized that she was not worthy of you.
• The army of universities and colleges is cooler, the army will teach everyone life in an instant!
• The army is work, after which everything else seems like a smoke break.

For guys, the loyalty of the girlfriends who are waiting is important. But not everyone passes the test of distance and time. Therefore, they often need support. She can be ironic and full of humor: "She gave a photo to the army on wires. And six months later she asked to return:" I'm sorry, but I met another. " ... I'm sorry, but I don't remember which one is yours. "

Parental statuses

Returning from the army, yesterday's soldiers often publish the status: "Only in the army I had to understand that only the mother loves a soldier." At the age of 18, a son for his parents is still a child who wants to be a real friend. You can give advice to him and to those who are waiting. What status about the army can be for parents?

• I'm expecting a son from RA. And you girls, I urge my loved ones to also wait, because sometimes it is not easy for a soldier to defend his Fatherland!
• Instead of mom - the foreman, the dad is replaced by the political officer. If only you could, son, you know how much soul hurts for everyone!
• The army is the only place that makes boys into real men ... without the participation of women.
• Be strong, son, such a day will come, and the president will issue a decree: "Rogozina home!"

Statuses with humor

So many anecdotes have been invented on the military theme that it is easy to compose a humorous statement. The statuses about the army can be as follows:

• The military registration and enlistment office announced a campaign for the fair sex: "Bring your rag, in 12 months you get a real man!"
• Why are healthy people taken into the army, but demanded as if they were smart?
• "Do not know until what time the admission at the military registration and enlistment office?" - "Up to 27!"
• If a soldier declares that he did not take, then he will never give up.
• Two soldiers from the construction battalion are a whole excavator. But the space soldier will replace the entire construction battalion for you.
• A jump for an airborne soldier is a voluntary matter. If you wish - jump, if you don't wish - they will be pushed out!
• If men have the same boots, do not sin on fashion. This is the army!

It is possible that your status will be original and not similar to those presented in the article. Based on the proposed options, you can create your own individual motto, reflecting your mood. Social networks allow you to change statuses an unlimited number of times.

The army is a test for everyone, not just those who serve.

As part of the ongoing reform of the armed forces, it was decided that in connection with the reduction of the period of military service to one year, the conscripts will be beaten with a stool even during the passage of the medical commission.

Can I write to Santa Claus what I DO NOT want? For example, I don’t want to join the army.

Whoever did not go to the army, life is like sex in an elastic band, it seems to be going on, but there is no sense.

Best status:
The desire to sleep and pity for the Motherland fought in me.

Power backed by a ground army is just a matter of time.

From the construction battalion, our soldier replaces the KAT tractor, but the spirit, if there is food, can replace two!

For the most successful students and ignoramuses, the final exams are also entrance exams, only some enter the university, while others enter the army.

For a loving girl, there is no greater challenge than the army. Someone will pass it, having strengthened their feelings, and someone will forget about it.

The army is a place where the lack of smart thoughts is the key to successful service.

Drop your studies! The troops are waiting for you! Your loving military commissar)

If the army decided that I needed a wife, they would give her to me))

but if you look at the other side of the army - it's free clothing, food and fitness!

What are you doing? Nothing? Then let's go faster!

The soldier at work is the invisible man

Any curve that goes around the boss is shorter than a straight line that goes by him.

Minesweeper is a disposable person

Leaving the dining room - assault

The hungry army is a terrible force

Comrades fighters! Sleep faster! Five minutes are left before the ascent.

Whoever touches the soldier's girl will become a mystery to honey. brother ...

Sometimes the general confused military duty with marriage duty.

You can't become a good soldier without a bit of stupidity. Florence Nightingale

War imposes tribute on both men and women to the same extent, but only from some it takes blood, and from others - tears. (Thackeray W.)

I took off my jacket, so it won't be cold.

The soldier is the smallest living creature.

We are not retreating, we are advancing in a different direction.

That you are standing as if sciatica had curled up.

Who has a penchant for mathematics? Take a shovel and remove the roots!

Toilet - meeting place cannot be changed

The motherland is not a heifer - it does not forgive betrayal.

They don't look a loaded tank down the barrel!

Bridges across rivers are usually built across the stream.

The recruiting office is a wonderland, he came there and disappeared there!

In the soul and joy and peace when another works

Are you a 5-year-old boyfriend? The army knows how to wait

Comrade cadet, do you want to say something? Stand up! Shut your mouth! Sit down!

A girl becomes a woman in one night, and a boy becomes a man in a year, why is this not fair?

Those who cannot swim should be good at diving.

There is something stronger than all the troops in the world: this is an idea whose time has come.

There are no atheists in trenches under fire!

Alfred North Whitehead

Charters will come in handy in your life! How will you educate your children?

Bald little green men are not delirium tremens and not fantasy! This is the ARMY!))

Not caught - Not in the army ...

Do not be afraid of this grenade, it is hand-held ...

Cut your hair, you see, and the service will go better.

The soldier is a brazen face, an empty stomach and not an ounce of conscience ...

The more a soldier sleeps, the less harm he does.

It's time, comrades, to take the horse by the horns.

Distribution - only old people go to battle

Snow should be white and square.

When two strange people meet, one of them is always wrong.

army is the best anti-dandruff remedy)

Alas, only military units remained from the army ...

The purpose of military education is to cultivate courage through fear.

In a different sense, a lot of intelligence is worse than if it did not exist at all.

The cow is such a large animal with four legs in the corners ...

Work - shadows disappear at noon

Knocked down - fight on your knees, you can't walk - step on while lying down. V.F. Margelov

Now that you have become a soldier, forget your civil dreams ... Kiss at night with the AUTOMATOR AND THE ELDERLY give flowers))

When 5 people have the same boots next to you, this is not fashion. This is the army.

You, comrade cadet, are not a cadet, but a real Neanderthal, and, I would even say, an anthropologist.

The walking paddle is used for digging trenches, not for picking the nose.

AWOL - Dangerous Tour, Behind Enemy Lines

My head hurts? Read the charter ...

The entrance is a hole from the outside to the inside, in the opposite direction, called the exit.

Dinner is a struggle for life

Better to defend yourself ineptly than to know exactly why and how you will be killed. - V. Schwebel

Previously, the concepts were like this: you did not serve in the army, you are not a man, but today, you served in the army-LOKH, tk. I could not get away with it ..

A people who do not want to feed their army will soon be forced to feed someone else's. (Napoleon Bonaparte)

We are driving at night, ideal conditions, the moon is shining, the sun ...

In winter, that is, at night, the guard is changed twice a day.

Rr-equal! I do not hear a single click when turning heads!

The best remedy for love is running in a gas mask.

Tired grandfather is a demon

A billion is a huge amount, like a hundred million.

Sergeant - he was once a man

What, the car won't start? Let's go, then you will start.

Company! Wider step! Why isn't the ass singing?

If a soldier says “Didn't take”, then he won’t give it back

Why are you shouting like in an anthill ?!

Anyone who wants to enjoy a lasting peace must know how to fight.

What do you sleep while standing on the move?

The soldier must obey the commander's blind instinct.

We got used to it, just like ostriches, head in the snow.

An army of rams led by a lion is stronger than an army of lions led by a ram.

With the majors, mind you, first say, "Just kidding," then joke.

What kind of pig passed here ?! A cow, or what ?!

You lead a marmot way of life, comrades cadets!

Comrades cadets, put the diplomats on the floor, and whoever's not, squeeze them between your legs.

Food distribution - Battle of Kulikovo

Roll call in the army: - Ivanov. - I! - Petrov! - I! - Thirty puppies ?! - Yes, I am Zoshchenkov !, Zoshchenkov.

It makes no sense to search, even if we find it.

Do you know why military dentists are worse than civilians? Because it’s very hard to drag your teeth through the w ... ny.

Tanks are not washed. They are painted!

In the army, boys are made into real men ... but without the participation of women.

I only solve eternal questions. The sergeant decides on temporary ones.

It is necessary to scrub the floors so that the water creaks.

I put the question bluntly: either we will or not without it!

What do you think, you are all fools, and I'm the only smart one ?!

They are waiting for the soldier: mother - forever, friends - 1 year, girls - 6 months, foreman - 45 seconds.

The other day an agenda came from the military registration and enlistment office. Spammers are crazy!

An officer without a dream is like a dog without wings.

Militia - walking on pain

Hello! You have phoned the military registration and enlistment office. If you want to serve in the army, click the "star", if not - "lattice".

Children play soldier. It's clear. But why are soldiers playing at children?

Zampolit, expel this idiot from the Komsomol! If not a Komsomol member? Accept and kick out!

Write Bro, I'm waiting for an answer, otherwise I'll send an outfit with greetings ...

Application for the radio: - Please tell me a huge hello to my "beloved" Military Commissariat and put on the song "Kiss me everywhere, I'm 28 already ..."))

Firing - wind noise in the field

Peace and harmony are useful for the vanquished, but only praiseworthy for the winners. (Cicero)

I was not born hungry and angry, so the army regime made me.