Phrases from 12 chairs. Catchphrases from the movie "The Twelve Chairs"

Ostap-Suleiman-Berta-Maria Bender Bey (Transdanubian), or simply Ostap Bender - main character novels by Ilya Ilf and Yevgeny Petrov “The Twelve Chairs” and “The Golden Calf”, “the great schemer”, “the son of a Turkish subject”, “an ideological fighter for banknotes”, who knew “four hundred relatively honest ways of taking away (diversion) money.” One of the most popular heroes picaresque novel in Russian literature.

1. Kitty, you are a dense provincial! Nowadays no one uses the cash register anymore; there is an administrator window for this.

2. Keep in mind, dear Shura, I don’t intend to feed you for nothing. For every vitamin I feed you, I will demand many small favors from you.

3. Everything is taken into account by a mighty hurricane...

4. I have all the vulgar signs of being in love: lack of appetite, insomnia and a manic desire to write poetry. Listen to what I sprinkled last night under the flickering light of an electric lamp: “I remember wonderful moment, you appeared before me, like fleeting vision like a genius pure beauty" Is it really good? Talented? And only at dawn, when the last lines were written, I remembered that this verse had already been written by A. Pushkin. Such a blow from a classic! A?

5. Mother-intercessor, three-handed police! What kind of banal, disgusting bureaucracy is this?

6. Don't overthink it. Keep quiet. And don't forget to puff out your cheeks.

7. Well, hello, great country. I don't like being the first student and receiving marks for attention, diligence and behavior. I am a private person and have no obligation to be interested in silos, trenches and towers. I am somehow of little interest in the problem of the socialist transformation of a person into an angel and a savings bank depositor. Vice versa. I'm interested in pressing questions careful attitude to the personality of single millionaires.

8. You need to think. For example, I am fed by ideas.

9. Tell me, Shura, honestly, how much money do you need to be happy?... Not for today, but in general. For happiness. Clear? So that you feel good in the world.

10. There are people who don’t know how to suffer, somehow it doesn’t work out. And if they do suffer, they try to do it as quickly as possible and unnoticed by others.

11. Here's some gray hair in your beard! Here's a devil in your ribs!

12. - What does this mean?
- This means that you are a retarded person.
- Why?
- Because! Sorry for the vulgar question: how much money do you have?
- What money?

13. - Is it possible to do this - chairs in the morning, and money in the evening?
- Can! But money goes first!

14. The first move is E2-E4, and then... And then we’ll see.

15. You are amazingly resourceful, dear stool hunter, as you can see, there are no diamonds.

16. Why are you looking at me like a soldier at a louse? Stunned with happiness?

17. Half of mine is half of ours...

19. You workers are like a sieve made of a dog’s tail.

20. Transport has completely gotten out of hand, there is only one thing left - to convert to Islam and travel on camels.

21. And in general - the gasoline is yours, and the ideas are ours!

22. I am an ideological fighter for banknotes!

23. In passion, as in happiness, we all seek constancy,
But nothing lasts forever under the sun - no.

24. - Never, never did Vorobyaninov extend his hand!
- So stretch your legs, you old fool!

25. It's hit or miss. I choose the gentleman, although he is clearly a Pole.

26. Cold soft-boiled eggs are very tasteless food, and a good, cheerful person would never eat them.

27. Well stated, dog.

28. This is all that remains of the ten thousand. 34 rubles. And I thought. that we still have seven thousand in our current account. How did it happen? Everything was so fun, we were preparing horns and hooves, life was delightful and the Earth was spinning especially for us, and suddenly...

29. For some reason, in the sandy steppes of the Arabian land, three proud palm trees grew.

30. What a cold country we live in! Everything is hidden with us, everything is underground. Even Narkomfin with its super-powerful tax apparatus cannot find a Soviet millionaire.

31. Don’t make a cult out of food!

32. There is no girl in the world who would not know, at least a week in advance, about the impending expression of feelings.

33. Statistics know everything.

34. Let's walk on the lawns and be fined.

35. I would stuff your snout, but Zarathustra does not allow it.

36. Be strong! Russia will not forget you! Abroad will help us!

37. “There’s no time to hug,” he said. Goodbye darling. We separated like ships at sea.

38. The most important thing, said Ostap, walking around the spacious room of the Carlsbad Hotel, is to bring confusion into the enemy camp. The enemy must lose peace of mind. It's not that hard to do. In the end, people are most afraid of the unknown.

39. In our vast country, an ordinary car, intended, according to pedestrians, for the peaceful transportation of people and goods, took on the menacing shape of a fratricidal projectile.

40. You always think: “I’ll still have time for this.” There will still be a lot of milk and hay in my life.” But in reality this will never happen again. So know this: it was the best night of our lives, my poor friends. And you didn't even notice it.

41. I have often been unfair to the deceased. But was the deceased moral person? No, he was not a moral person. He was a former blind man, an impostor and a goose thief. He put all his strength into living at the expense of society. But society did not want him to live at its expense. But Mikhail Samuelevich could not bear this contradiction in his views, because he had a hot temper. And that's why he died. All!

42. No need for applause! I didn't make the Count of Monte Cristo. We'll have to retrain as building managers.

43. I am 33 years old - the age of Jesus Christ, but what have I done? He didn’t create a teaching, he squandered his students, he didn’t resurrect poor Panikovsky!

44. Here I am a millionaire! An idiot's dreams come true!

45. Panikovsky will sell you all, buy you and sell you again... but at a higher price.

46. ​​The main thing is to eliminate the cause of sleep. The main reason is existence itself Soviet power. But in this moment I can't eliminate it. I just don't have time.

47. Since you live in Soviet country, then your dreams should be Soviet.

48. I am certainly not a cherub. I don't have wings, but I respect the Criminal Code. This is my weakness.

49. Comrades!.. The political situation in Europe... Our response to Chamberlain...

50. I had problems with the Soviet regime Last year serious disagreements. She wants to build socialism, but I don’t want to. I'm bored of building socialism.

51. Abroad is a myth about afterlife. Whoever gets there does not return.

52. Since there are some banknotes wandering around the country, there must be people who have a lot of them.

53. Women love: young, politically literate, long-legged...

54. I don’t need an eternal primus needle, I don’t want to live forever.

55. “It seems that the psychological moment for dinner has come,” thought Ostap.

56. Don't be a lady's cow.

57. Well, what do you say, Shura?! Maybe we should go for a ride too!?

58. A sultry woman, said Ostap, is a poet’s dream. Provincial spontaneity. In the center there are no such subtropics for a long time, but on the periphery, in the localities, they still occur.

59. The time, he said, that we have is money that we do not have.

60. I will ask you, citizen, to clean the chair.

61. It’s time for you, leader, to be treated with electricity.

62. “You are a rather vulgar person,” Bender objected, “you love money more than necessary.”

63. You are a dude, the son of a dude and your children will be dudes!

64. Why are you yelling like polar bear in warm weather?

65. The financial abyss is the deepest of all abysses; you can fall into it all your life.

66. When I see this new life, these shifts, I don’t want to smile, I want to pray!

67. Speaking of childhood, when I was a child I killed people like you on the spot. From a slingshot.

68. We don’t need rude people. We are rude ourselves.

69. - Life! - said Ostap. - Victim! What do you know about life and sacrifice? Do you think that if you were evicted from a mansion, you know what life is? And if a fake Chinese vase was requisitioned from you, then do you know what a victim is? Life, gentlemen of the jury, is a complex thing, but, gentlemen of the jury, this complex thing opens simply like a box. You just need to be able to open it. Those who don't know how to do it disappear.

70. You are an interesting person! Everything is fine with you. It’s amazing, with such happiness - and in freedom!

71. In the big world, people are driven by the desire to benefit humanity. The small world is far from such lofty matters. Its inhabitants have one desire - to somehow live without feeling hungry.

72. Kitty, let us also be immortalized. Let's fill Mika's tanks. By the way, I also have chalk! By God, I’ll go ahead and write: “Kisa and Osya were here.”

73. Give me the sausage, give me the sausage, you fool! I will forgive everything!

74. An idea is a human thought, presented in a logical chess form.

75. - Well, uncle, are there any brides in your city?
- Whose bride is the mare?
- I have no more questions.

76. He loved and suffered. He loved money and suffered from its lack.

77. Life dictates its harsh laws to us.

79. Or maybe they’ll give you the key to the apartment where the money is?

80. Closer to the body, as Maupassant said!

81. A car, comrades, is not a luxury, but a means of transportation!

82. Secret alliance swords and plowshares! Complete secret of the organization!

83. I consider the evening of memories closed.

84. Well, you, a victim of abortion!

85. What money? I think you asked me about some money?

86. The ice has broken, gentlemen of the jury!

87. All smuggling is done in Odessa, on Malaya Arnautskaya Street.

88. Boy... Is he bad? Whoever says it's a girl, let him be the first to throw a stone at me!

89. I will command the parade!

90. - For what purpose is the fee charged?!
- For the purpose of repairing the failure.
- So as not to fail too much!

91. We are strangers at this celebration of life.

92. When they beat you, you will cry!

93. Rio de Janeiro is the crystal dream of my childhood: don’t touch it with your paws.

94. We will wear cambric foot wraps and eat Margot cream.

95. - I'm buying a plane! - the great schemer hastily said. - Wrap it in paper.

96. Fate plays with man, and man plays the trumpet.

97. Complete peace of mind can only give a person an insurance policy.

98. The investigation into the Koreiko case can consume a lot of time. How much - only God knows. And since there is no God, no one knows. Terrible situation.

99. You are not in church, you will not be deceived.

100. The hearing continues, gentlemen of the jury.

And your janitor is quite a big vulgar guy. Is it possible to get so drunk on a ruble?
fully

Or maybe I can give you the key to the apartment where the money is?
fully

And for what purpose is the fee charged?! For the purpose of repairing the failure. So as not to fail too much!
fully

A car is not a luxury, but a means of transportation.
fully

Alexander Ivanovich did not eat, but ate. He did not have breakfast, but performed the physiological process of introducing the proper amount of fat into the body,...
fully

Ah, if only we could find the individual! I’ll arrange it in such a way that he will bring me his money himself, on a silver platter.
fully

We will wear cambric foot wraps and eat Margot cream.
fully

Bender, I won't go with you... There's nothing there! We'll all die there!
fully

IN big city pedestrians lead a martyr's life. A kind of transport ghetto was introduced for them. They are only allowed to cross the streets...
fully

In the big world, people are driven by the desire to benefit humanity. The small world is far from such lofty matters. Its inhabitants...
fully

What a cold country we live in! Everything is hidden with us, everything is underground. Even Narkomfin with its super-powerful...
fully

In our vast country, an ordinary car, intended, according to pedestrians, for the peaceful transportation of people and goods, has taken on formidable...
fully

Koreiko never doubted that the old things would return. He saved himself for capitalism.
fully

The wreckage of a shipwreck floats in this naval borscht.
fully

It's time for you, leader, to be treated with electricity.
fully

What is your political creed? Always!
fully

That's what these Marx and Engels have done!
fully

Here I am a millionaire! An idiot's dreams come true!
fully

The time we have is money we don't have.
fully

All talented people write differently, all untalented ones write the same way and even in the same handwriting.
fully

Everything is taken into account by the mighty hurricane.
fully

All smuggling is done in Odessa, on Malaya Arnautskaya Street.
fully

Do you know, Bender, how I catch a goose? I kill him like a bullfighter, with one blow! It's opera when I'm walking on a goose! "Carmen"!
fully

You are not in church, you will not be deceived. There will also be a deposit. Over time.
fully

The main thing is to eliminate the cause of sleep. The main reason is the very existence of Soviet power. But at the moment I can’t eliminate it...
fully

The work of helping drowning people is the work of the drowning people themselves.
fully

Dusya? You make me angry. I am a man exhausted by Narzan.
fully

Breathe deeply, you're excited!
fully

If there was a liar competition, only the one who told the truth could win.
fully

If a pedestrian sometimes manages to fly out from under the silver nose of the car, he is fined by the police for violating the rules of the street catechism.
fully

You can leave if you want. Then I guess I'll go. But remember, we have long arms! Then I guess I'll stay...
fully

There are people who don’t know how to suffer, but somehow it doesn’t work out. And if they do suffer, they try to do it as quickly and unnoticed as possible...
fully

The iron horse is replacing the peasant horse.
fully

Women love: young, politically literate, long-legged.
fully

Life is beautiful, despite the shortcomings.
fully

Life, gentlemen of the jury, is a complicated thing, but, gentlemen of the jury, this thing opens as simply as a box. Necessary...
fully

Abroad is a myth about the afterlife. Whoever gets there does not return.
fully

The Russian spirit is here! It smells like Russia here! The dying firebird still flies here, and golden feathers fall to the people of our profession. Here...
fully

A sultry woman, a poet's dream.
fully

The golden calf still has some power in our country!
fully

Keep in mind, dear Shura, I don’t intend to feed you for nothing. For every vitamin I feed you, I will demand from you many small...
fully

You are an interesting person! Everything is fine with you. It’s amazing, with such happiness - and in freedom.
fully

Kitty, let's be immortalized too. Let's fill Mika's tanks. By the way, I also have chalk! By God, I’ll go ahead and write: “Kisa and Osya were here.”
fully

Kisa, I want to ask you, as an artist - an artist: can you draw?
fully

Sour matter, Lechtweis cave.
fully

The client must be accustomed to the idea that he will have to give money. He must be morally disarmed, the reactionary possessiveness in him must be suppressed...
fully

When I see this new life, these changes, I don’t want to smile, I want to pray!
fully

Once upon a time, in tsarist times, the furnishing of public places was made according to a stencil. A special breed of government furniture was grown:...
fully

I will command the parade!
fully

Koreiko realized that now only underground trade, based on the strictest secrecy, is possible. All the crises that shook the young economy...
fully

Be strong! Russia will not forget you! Abroad will help us!
fully

Whoever says it's a girl, let him be the first to throw a stone at me!
fully

The ice has broken, gentlemen of the jury!
fully

People who do not read newspapers must be morally killed on the spot.
fully

Monsieur, it’s not mange pas sis jour. Goeben mir zi bitte etvas kopek auf dem stück ford. Give something to the former State Duma deputy.
fully

Shut up, sadness, shut up, Kisa!
fully

We are strangers at this celebration of life.
fully

I would stuff your snout, but Zarathustra doesn’t allow it.
fully

It should be noted that the car was also invented by pedestrians. But motorists somehow immediately forgot about it. Meek and intelligent pedestrians have become...
fully

We need to think. For example, I am fed by ideas.
fully

We don't need rude people. We are rude ourselves.
fully

Not to mention the fact that stealing is a sin - your mother probably introduced you to such a doctrine in childhood - it is also a pointless waste of energy...
fully

Don't make a cult out of food.
fully

Not for the sake of self-interest, but only to fulfill the will of the wife who sent me.
fully

Don’t doubt it, as soon as Soviet power is gone, things will immediately become easier for you. You'll see!
fully

Don't hit your bald head on the parquet.
fully

There is no girl in the world who would not know, at least a week in advance, about the impending expression of feelings.
fully

Never, never did Vorobyaninov extend his hand! So stretch your legs, you old fool!
fully

Being a beggar is not so bad, especially with a moderate education and a weak voice.
fully

Well, to hell with you! Get lost here with your chair! And my life is dear to me as a memory!
fully

Well, you, abortion victim, quickly tell me who you sold the chair to?!
fully

Well, uncle, are there any brides in your city? Whose bride is the mare? I have no more questions!
fully

Lunch first, speeches second.
fully

Only small children, street children, are without supervision.
fully

Can you really live on Narzan alone?
fully

Ostap Ibrahimovic, when will we divide our money?
fully

The lack of female affection affects the way of life.
fully

Panikovsky will sell you all, buy you and sell you again... but at a higher price.
fully

Parallel big world in which they live big people and big things, there is a small world with small people and small things.
fully

Pedestrians must be loved. Pedestrians make up most humanity. Moreover, the best part of it. Pedestrians created the world.
fully

Beer is sold only to union members.
fully

Under all the small inventions of the ant world there is a granite base of “communist” ideology.
fully

Just show me a rich man and I will take his money.
fully

The situation was terrible! In Moscow, in the city center, on the ninth floor landing, stood an adult man with higher education, completely naked...
fully

Police representatives can be equated to students and children...
fully

Damn country! A country where a millionaire cannot take his fiancée to the cinema.
fully

The damned telegraph has crammed its poles with wires everywhere.
fully

Birds, repent of your sins publicly!
fully

Since there are some banknotes floating around in the country, there must be people who have a lot of them.
fully

Since you live in a Soviet country, then your dreams must be Soviet.

And Lya Ilf And Evgeniy Petrov co-authored several works. Among them, the most famous were the satirical feuilleton novels "" and "", which tell about the adventures of the young Soviet Republic“great schemer”, swindler and swindler Ostap Bender.

We have selected 25 quotes from The Twelve Chairs:

film, 2 episodes, 1971

* And you have nowhere to rush: the GPU will come for you! Ostap.
* But two hundred rubles cannot save a giant of thought? Kislyarsky.
* What, father, are grooms needed in your city? Do you have any brides? - Whose bride is the mare? Ostap, Tikhon.
* Alpine begging! Holy cause! Ostap.
*No criminality. We must honor the code... we must honor the code! Ostap.
* Closer to the body, as Guy de Maupassant says! Ostap.
* Riot on the ship?! Ostap.
* In Berlin there are very strange custom: they eat there so late that it is impossible to understand whether it is an early dinner or a late lunch. Ostap.
* In Moscow, in the city center, on the ninth floor landing, an adult man with a higher education stood absolutely naked. He had nowhere to go. He would rather go to jail than appear like this. There was only one thing left to do: disappear! Author.
* On this day, God sent Alexander Yakovlevich for lunch a bottle of Zubrovka, homemade mushrooms, black grain caviar, minced herring, Ukrainian borscht, chicken with rice, fruit, and so on and so forth. Author.
* You were deceived, they gave you much better fur! These are... these are Shanghai leopards! Ostap.
* You were, of course, surprised by the early visit of an unknown man! Ostap.
* What is your political creed? - Always! - Russia will not forget you! Ostap, episode.
* Your diamonds are almost in my pocket, and you interest me only insofar as I want to provide for your old age! Ostap.
* We don’t accept vegetarianism, sir! Episode.
*Great symbol! Separation from the people - and fall! Viewer.
* Here's the police for you! So much for the high cost of chairs for workers of all countries! Here's to girls' night outings! Here's some gray hair in your beard! Here's a devil in your ribs! Ostap.
* All smuggling is done in Odessa on Deribasovskaya Street. Ostap.
*Which regiment did you serve in? Ostap.
* Do you know who this powerful old man is? Don't say, you can't know! Ostap.
* You love money more than necessary. - Don’t you like them? - No. - Why do you need 60 thousand then? - Out of principle. Ostap, Kisa.
* After all, you are not my mother, my sister, or my lover! Ostap.
*You flatter me, you naughty girl! Kisa.
* You are my chairs, and I am your strainer. Ho-ho? - Iron! Ostap, Ellochka.
* You are not in church, you will not be deceived! Ostap.
* I think you asked me about some money? - But of course! For furniture, for warrants. - Oh, blue! I swear on the honor of the late priest, I forgot to withdraw from the current account. Ostap, Korobeinikov.
* Gavrila was an unfaithful husband, Gavrila cheated on his wives! Lyapis Trubetskoy. Gavrila was an exemplary husband, Gavrila was faithful to his wives! It's him. Gavrila suffered from gangrene, Gavrila suffered from gangrene. It's him. Gavrila served as a bureaucrat, Gavrila was a bureaucrat! It's him. Even though Gavrila was a fireman, Gavrila was given the opportunity to make a film! It's him.
* Where have you seen husbands cheat on their wives? I personally don’t remember this at all. Then, these are our husbands, these are our wives! Absolutely not typical! Episode.
* Where bison run among the pampas, and over the baobab trees the sunsets are like blood... P/f.
* Giant of thought! Father of Russian democracy! A person close to the emperor! And such petty criminal inclinations! Ostap. This is a giant of thought, the father of Russian democracy and a person close to the emperor! It's him.
*Digs deep! Episode.
* The grandmaster gave away the bishop! - He's being cunning! - Framed Rook! - It's luring! Episode.
* Giving a bribe to an official during execution official duties- Yes, this is... Article 114 of the Criminal Code! Ostap. Giving false testimony - Article 321, section 3, paragraph "g". It's him.
* Come on money, come on money! Give me money, give me money, I tell you!.. Ostap.
* Money up front! Mechnikov. Could it be like this: chairs in the morning, money in the afternoon? - Can. But money first! Ostap, Mechnikov.
*Keep the grandmaster! Amateur.
*Hold on! Hold him, he stole our sausage! Kisa.
* Children will not forget you! Ostap.
* Dusya, you are making me angry! Mechnikov.
* Uncle, give me ten kopecks! Give me ten kopecks, I tell you! Episode.
* Iron boy! Ellochka.
* We will not surrender to them alive! Ostap.
* Creepy! Ellochka.
* Let's score Mika's tanks! Ostap.
* Tomorrow there will be an ambush waiting for us at the safe house... an ambush will be waiting for us. We'll have to shoot back. Ostap.
* The West will help us, brace yourself, complete secrecy of deposits, that is, of the organization. Ostap.
* Here Pasha, who has a supernatural sense, realized that now they would beat him. Maybe even with your feet. Author.
* A sultry woman, a poet's dream! Ostap.
* And he fell in love with her, and he called her a bird on the branches of his soul... P/f.
* And with one bullet he killed both of them, and wandered along the shore in melancholy... P/f.
* Out of respect only for yours noble origin I'm ready to work for a measly 40%. Ostap.
* The stones, I see, were chosen with taste! Ostap.
* Kisa and Osya were here. Ostap.
* I will command the parade! Ostap.
* Competing company! Ostap.
* The office writes! Ostap.
* Naiad dye. Colors your hair an amazing brown color! Ostap.
*Brace yourself! Abroad will help us! Complete secret of the organization! Ostap.
*Whoever says that this is a girl, let him be the first to throw a stone at me. Ostap.
* Where did you put the treasures of the mother-in-law you killed? Speak! Repent, sinner, repent! Father Fedor.
* The ice has broken, gentlemen of the jury! Ostap.
* Better times coming soon! However, to the street children whom I currently I imagine this doesn't apply. Ostap.
* The amateur is beaten! Amateur.
*Mexican jerboa! Ellochka.
* Monsieur, it’s not manche pas sis jour! Kisa.
* My life is dear to me as a memory! Ostap.
* I would like to sell you ears from a dead donkey. Ostap. Uncle, I should add. - Ears from a dead donkey. Episode., Ostap.
* Maybe you, Holy Father, are a party member? Kisa.
* Maybe I should give you the key to the apartment where the money is? Ostap. You want me to work for nothing, and even give me the key to the apartment where the money is! It's him. Twenty five! - And the key to the apartment. Kisa, Ostap. A great option: the key to the apartment where the money will be. Ostap.
* Be silent, sadness, be silent! Ostap.
* My hen, your cockerel is coming now! Ostap. It’s okay, my hen, your cockerel is healthy! It's him.
* Musick, well, is the goose ready? Bruns.
* Musick, well, you don’t feel sorry for your little man. Bruns.
*We'll explain elsewhere. Ostap.
* We are strangers at this celebration of life! Ostap.
* I would stuff your snout, but Zarathustra doesn’t allow it! Ostap.
* Our chairs are in place, the auditor has left - we can leave. Ostap.
*Are there many of us in the city? What's your mood? - At presence of absence, I would say... Ostap, episode.
* Don't hit yourself on the cheeks with your ears, don't! Ostap.
* Not for the sake of self-interest, but only by the will of Queen Tamara who sent me! Father Fedor.
* Don't teach me how to live! Ellochka.
* It’s not clear why, why, why I met you out of the blue, I met you and lost peace, it’s not clear why, it’s not known why... Lyapis-Trubetskoy.
* Nervous people are asked not to watch. Ostap.
* Never! Never before has Vorobyaninov extended his hand! - So stretch your legs, you old fool! Kisa, Ostap.
* Well, let the man sleep! Episode.
* Well, has the ice broken? - Rogue! - What? - I started moving. Ostap, Kisa.
* Well, I don’t believe it, I don’t believe it! More pitiful more music in the voice! Ostap.
* Well, you, abortion victim! Ostap.
* Resistance during the performance of official duties - Article 215, paragraph "b". Ostap.
* He stole and was ashamed. He stole constantly and was constantly ashamed. Author.
* He sacrificed a queen to me! What to do? - Give up before it's too late! Episode.
*Give me the sausage, you fool! I will forgive everything! Ostap.
* How can the name of Ostap-Suleiman Bert-Maria-Bender Bey be known in Paris! Ostap.
* Waiter, champagne! Kisa.
* Oh, they'll beat us! - When they beat you, you will cry. Kisa, Ostap.
* Stool Hunter! Ostap.
* Write letters! Ostap.
* For me, at least live your whole life, once good man. Tikhon.
* How much is opium for the people? Ostap.
* More cynicism! People like it. Ostap.
* Let's go, let's go to the rooms! Kisa.
* You will get it from Pushkin. Ostap.
* Justice sold! Episode.
*Warning: we have long arms! Ostap.
* At modern development printing business in the West, producing a Soviet passport is such a trifle that it’s even funny to talk about it! Ostap.
* Simple and tasteful! But living with such hair in Soviet Russia is not recommended. Ostap.
* By the way, you will be charged 2 rubles for a haircut and shave. - Why so expensive? Everywhere they charge 40 kopecks. - For conspiracy, Comrade Field Marshal. Ostap, Kisa.
*What is the purpose of the fee? - Uh, for the purpose of overhauling the failure, so that it does not fail too much. Episode., Ostap.
* The fool himself! Fedor.
* Do we confess ourselves or will we continue to deny it? Ostap.
* Now in Europe and best houses In Philadelphia, it is customary to pour tea through a strainer. Ostap.
* Now the weather is so wonderful: “It’s May, merry fellow, it’s May, sorcerer, it’s blowing a fresh fan on us!” Kisa.
* More seriously, more seriously! Give me a tear! Ostap.
* How old are you? - This has nothing to do with the science that I currently represent. Lisa, Kisa.
* Soon we will live in a new way and start our own candle factory, and something else! Fedor.
* Only cats will be born soon! Ostap. William Shakespeare's Dictionary is an example -> 12 thousand words, a savage's dictionary from the cannibal
The Mumba-Yumba tribe is 300 words, Ellochka Shchukina easily managed with 30 words. Author.
* Like a figurine, the girl stood... P/f.
* Listen up, ladies' darling! Ostap. Take me down, I'll give you the sausage! Father Fedor Sorok? - A-ha-ha-ha!.. - Fifty? - Ho-ho-ho!.. Almost. Thirty eight. Lisa, Kisa.
* Union... union of the Sword and... what's his name... plowshares! Ostap.
* Calmly! I'll get down to business! Ostap.
* The old woman won’t let you down, is she a reliable woman? Ostap
* Old women live on full board. - Those who were born before historical materialism? - When they were born, then they were born. Tikhon Ostap.
* Slender figure the color of chocolate... P/f.
* Chairs must be forged while they are hot! Ostap.
* The chairs are crawling apart like cockroaches! Ostap.
* I count to five. Yes or no?.. Once... - Yes Ostap, Kisa.
* Bargaining is not appropriate here! Kisa.
* I have all the moves written down! Amateur.
* I have no less reason to believe that I alone can handle your case! Ostap
* Although we are not in Paris, you are welcome to our hut! Ostap.
* In the morning money - in the afternoon chairs, in the afternoon money - in the evening chairs, in the evening money - at night chairs at night money - in the morning chairs, in the morning... Mechnikov. Money in the morning, money in the evening, money in the evening... Same.
* Be rude, boy! Ellochka.
*Ho-ho! - Ho-ho!.. Oh-ho-ho! Ellochka, Ostap
* The fragile reeds made their rustling noise in the darkness. Two lovers... - The reeds rustled, the trees bent. Kisa, Ostap.
* What ho-ho?.. Where is the second chair? Ostap.
*This is a robbery among broad daylight! Kisa.
* These are orphans. - Yeah, the difficult legacy of the tsarist regime. Alkhen, Ostap.
* It's typical foppishness to rob a poor widow! Ostap.
* I invite you to make your contributions now and help the children. Only for children! And no one else understands me! Ostap.
* I am a man tormented by Narzan! Mechnikov.

“12 Chairs” is one of best comedies, which was filmed by the famous Soviet director Leonid Gaidai in 1971 novel of the same name I. Ilf and E. Petrov. The comedy was filmed in two episodes: “The Ice Has Broken” and “The Meeting Continues.” The comedy premiered on June 21, 1971.

To play the role of Ostap Bender, Gaidai invited Archil Gomiashvili, and Rostislav Plyatt was approved for the role of Kisa Vorobyaninov, instead of the seriously ill Sergei Filippov. But Filippov assured that he was ready to act, no matter what. Having learned about this desire, Plyatt refused the role of Kisa in favor of Filippov, although he himself was not left without a role. In the film, Rostislav Plyatt reads words from the author.

G. Volchek and N. Mordyukova competed for the role of Madame Gritsatsueva. Mordyukova was refused to play this role, as Gaidai did not find it funny. Galina Volchek was preferred, but sound engineer Vladimir Krachkovsky suggested his wife, Natalya Krachkovskaya, for this role. Looking at her, Gaidai said: “Here it is, the poet’s dream.”

Quotes from the movie 12 Chairs are very popular in society. This collection of quotes will remind you best moments Soviet comedy.

How much is opium for the people?

The meeting continues! The ice has broken, gentlemen of the jury!

Maybe I should give you another key to the apartment where the money is?

I will command the parade!

There are also sleeves from a vest, a circle from a donkey and ears from a dead donkey.

Who do you think this powerful old man is? Don't say, you can't know. This is a giant of thought, the father of Russian democracy and a person close to the emperor.

“Eh, Kisa,” said Ostap, “we are strangers at this celebration of life.”

Although we are not in Paris, you are welcome to our hut.

Give me the sausage, give me the sausage, you fool! I will forgive everything!

Boy... Is it bad? Whoever says it's a girl, let him be the first to throw a stone at me!

Dad, you are a vulgar man!

There’s no time to hug,” he said. Goodbye darling. We separated like ships at sea.

Hit or miss. I choose the gentleman, although he is clearly a Pole.

All smuggling is done in Odessa, on Malaya Arnautskaya Street.

Here's some gray hair in your beard! Here's a devil in your ribs!

The first move is E2-E4, and then... And then we'll see.

Why are you looking at me like a soldier at a louse? Stunned with happiness?

Half of mine is half of ours...

You have been deceived, this is not a Mexican jerboa, this is a Shanghai leopard

Gentlemen! Children will not forget you!

The office writes

Quotes from Ellochka Ogre

Your whole back is white (just kidding)

Don't teach me how to live

Boy. (In relation to all men I know, regardless of age and social status.)

Ho-ho! (Expresses, depending on the circumstances, irony, surprise, delight, hatred, joy, contempt and satisfaction.)

Let's go by taxi. (To male acquaintances)

Thick and beautiful. (Used as a characteristic of inanimate and animate objects)

Quotes from Kisa Vorobyaninov

Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Are you really going to beat us?
- Yes, how!

Hold it! He stole our sausage!

Let's go to the rooms!

Quotes from other heroes

Dusya! You make me angry. I am a man tormented by the Narzans.

I can't get it from the source. From the source I began to have visions.

Consent is a product of complete non-resistance of the parties.

The answer is the equivalent of a thought.

Throw him in a swing

Coffin, he loves his work

Musick!!! Ready goose?

Not for the sake of selfishness, but only by the will of the wife who sent me

Birds, repent of your sins publicly!

I'll give you the sausage! Take me down!

Is Vorobyaninov on the prowl somewhere now?

...And he walked away from me, probably to a brothel

Ilya Ilf and Evgeny Petrov

Don't overthink it. Keep quiet. And don't forget to puff out your cheeks.

Ostap hasn't eaten anything since yesterday. Therefore, his eloquence was extraordinary.

The art of madmen, cave painting or a drawing made by the tail of a rebellious mule seemed like museum treasures in comparison with Ostap’s banner.

The air is clean, and smart thoughts are popping into your head!

Ostap wiped his noble forehead. He was hungry to such an extent that he would willingly eat a roasted chess knight.

... breathe deeply - you are excited!