Remembering the deceased is a kind of mission. It is necessary to do this, but it is important that the person remembers without compulsion, of his own free will. They do this in memory of a loved one who is no longer around. But he will forever remain in the hearts of people who remember him.

3, 9 and 40 days are especially distinguished in carrying out memorial events, taking the day of death as the 1st day of the countdown. On these days, the commemoration of the deceased is considered sanctified by church customs and corresponds to Christian teachings about the state of the soul beyond the threshold of death.

Commemoration on the 3rd day after death

The memorial service is held in memory of the miraculous resurrection of Jesus Christ on the third day and in honor of the image of the Holy Trinity. It is believed that the first two days the soul remains on earth, is next to relatives, visits, accompanied by an Angel, places dear to her, and on the third day she ascends to heaven and appears before God.

Memorial service for 9 days

Wake on this day is held in honor of nine angelic ranks who can petition for clemency of the deceased. When a soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters paradise, then until the ninth day she is shown the afterlife. And on the ninth day, with fear and trembling, the soul again appears before the Lord for worship. Prayers and commemoration on day 9 will help her pass this test with dignity.

Memorial service for 40 days

On this day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship the Lord. In the period from the ninth to the fortieth day, she learns committed sins and goes through ordeals. Angels accompany the soul to Hell, where it can see the suffering and torment of unrepentant sinners.

On the fortieth day, her fate should be decided: in accordance with the spiritual state of the deceased and his earthly affairs. Prayers and commemoration on this day can atone for the sins of the deceased. The choice of the fortieth day for special commemoration was also significantly influenced by the fact that Jesus Christ, after his resurrection, ascended into Heaven on the fortieth day.

It is advisable to order a panikhida on each of these days of commemoration in the church.

Features of the commemoration of the departed:

1. All those present at the funeral can be invited to the commemoration on the third day. On this day, a memorial meal is traditionally held immediately after them.
2. Friends and close relatives of the deceased are often invited to the commemoration on the ninth day.
3. On the fortieth day, everyone comes to commemorate the deceased. It is not necessary to hold a commemoration in the house of the deceased. The place is chosen by relatives at will.

Commemoration of the anniversary of death

The mourning date should be reported only to those people whom the family of the deceased wants to see in the years. The closest people should come - relatives and friends of the deceased. On the anniversary of death, it is advisable to go to the cemetery. After visiting the grave, all those present are invited to a memorial dinner.

Memorial days are held at the discretion of the family of the deceased. It is inappropriate to discuss the correctness of the organization of the commemoration.

Do I need to go to church for a commemoration?

Commemoration for 3, 9, 40 days, as well as for a year after death at Orthodox Christians presuppose the holding of church services. Coming to the temple, relatives and friends of the deceased light candles, organize memorial services and read prayers.

You can do all this, if you wish, not only on memorial days, but also on ordinary days. You can visit the church, light a candle and pray if you are overwhelmed with feelings about the deceased. You can also visit the temple and pray on the birthday of the deceased. .

If on memorial days there is no opportunity to go to church, then you can pray at home.

On the days of commemoration, you need to be in a good mood. Do not hold any grudge against anyone, especially the dead. On these days, it is customary to treat people around you with memorial dishes - colleagues, neighbors, friends. And also give alms.

Memorial days after the funeral (video)

Once in the life of every person there comes a time when someone from friends, relatives or relatives goes to the deceased forefathers. The remains of a deceased person are most often interred in the ground, where they will be in the future. However, love for does not dry out, therefore, on certain days, commemorations for the deceased are performed. In order to prevent unwanted mistakes, it is very important to know how to commemorate the dead, on what days it is done and, of course, how the commemoration takes place.

There are three main periods for commemoration after the death of a person.... The first time the prayers take place on the third day, the second time they are commemorated on the ninth day, and for the third time they pray for the deceased at the onset of the fortieth day. The countdown is from the day of the death of a person, and not from the day of burial. Memorial service on established days is a sacred custom that has survived since ancient times.

Basic mistakes and rules

Wake, like any other custom, has its own rules established over the years. They must be observed, so as not to inadvertently disturb or offend the soul of the deceased. But before you find out what rules for remembering the dead exist, it is worth learning about the erroneous actions that many perform at funerals. Common mistakes can be associated with subjects such as:

So, how to remember deceased relatives correctly.

As mentioned earlier, there are three special periods when the commemoration is held, not counting the day of the funeral:

After forty days, the deceased is considered to be memorable, that is, the one who needs to be remembered, where "always" means "always". You should not forget about your deceased relative or loved one after death..

What is a memorial service

During life, love can be shown to your loved ones by hugging and kissing them... But if a person goes to another world, then you can only express your feelings for him with the help of a requiem. They are held in the church, as a rule, immediately after the end of the morning service. How much the requiem will cost, you can find out directly when visiting the temple.

For the funeral service, you need to buy bread or something from pastries, but in no case should it be sweet, and you can also buy fruits. These products are considered basic, but other types can be added, depending on financial capabilities. As a rule, on this day it is customary to carry flour, various cereals and vegetable oils. In no case should you take alcohol and sweets with you.

A note with the names of all deceased relatives, written in advance, is added to the products. The form for correct filling can be taken directly at the church. Everything prepared for the requiem is placed on a special table. During the memorial service, the presence of one who calls out to the saints with prayer is desirable. The total duration of the sacred action is about fifteen minutes. Believers say that at this time the soul becomes close to its relative and prays for him in the same way as he does.

There are memorial services that are especially significant for deceased souls, their effect is 10 times stronger than an ordinary service. They take place on a special day of remembrance for the dead, which falls on parental and memorial Saturdays. You can find out when they are and how many of them are there in a year in the church itself or in a special church calendar, where it is customary to mark them with a black cross. As a rule, most of them fall on the period of Great Lent.

The soul of a deceased person is waiting for a relative in the temple and rejoices if he comes. Otherwise, she is very homesick and devastated. On the eve, on Friday evening, the parastas is doing in the name of the deceased.

In addition to Saturdays, the commemoration of the dead in Orthodoxy takes place on Radonitsa, which follows on the ninth day after the celebration of Easter. It was at this time that souls wait for their relatives near the graves or in the church, sometimes they come to the apartment where they lived until death. On this day, it is necessary to vigorously remember them, as well as order a memorial service and give alms to those in need. If the birthday of the deceased falls on Radonitsa, then there is nothing wrong with arranging a commemoration. There are no prohibitions for the memory of loved ones who left the mortal earth.

The church charter states

Do not forget about your loved ones who have gone to God... According to the charter of the Orthodox Church, the commemoration of the dead takes place six months after the day of death, and even a year later. The anniversary of death is considered the second birth of the soul and new life in the Kingdom of Heaven. Special attention should be paid to the commemoration before Trinity Saturday; when the next commemoration of the deceased is made, a candle is placed in the church for the repose of the soul in a place reserved for the deceased in one of the hollow candlesticks, and a requiem is also ordered. But in no case, even after many years from the day of death, should you bring alcohol or sweets. There is no need to anger God and torment the soul of the deceased.

According to the church charter, for the grace of the soul of the deceased, immediately after his death in the church, it is necessary to order the forty-mouth, which will be read for forty days. In the monastery, you can order a prayer service for the repose, which the ministers will do for several months. Another important point that must be observed is that if a person was unbaptized during his lifetime, then he cannot be remembered in church services. One can only pray for the blessing of his soul at home in front of the face of the saint, whose name was given to the reposed servant of God.

If for some reason it is not possible to celebrate the commemoration on the day of the death of a loved one, then you can do it at any other time, even if it is much later than the date of death, except for those days when it is forbidden to commemorate the dead. You should not arrange a commemoration according to church rules during:

• Easter.
• Holy week.

On these days, it is by no means possible to celebrate a commemoration; thus, you can disturb the reposed soul, as a result of which it will suffer and languish.

Repeatedly you can hear that it is impossible to commemorate the dead on Monday. In fact, the church charter is not prohibited. This opinion is connected exclusively with the opinion of people that Monday is a difficult day, and nothing can be started on this day, which means that a commemoration can be held on this day of the week as well.

There are several days in the Church for the commemoration of the departed. Some are common (Radonitsa, Parental Saturdays), others are private. They are associated with the date of death of a particular person and are important for his relatives and friends. But at any commemoration, it is important to remember that first you need to go to the temple, submit a note for the proskomedia, order a memorial service, and only then sit at the table, remembering the deceased.

For a deceased person, prayer is very important. The Church teaches that one should start praying for the newly departed one as early as possible. Immediately after death, relatives and friends can read a psalter for the deceased or.

On the very first day after the death of a person, it is worth ordering the forty (forty memorial liturgies for the deceased) in the church. Ideally, the magpie should last from the first to the fortieth day after death, but in practice it often happens that forty liturgies end later than the fortieth day after death. All this time the person is remembered as "newly departed".

According to the Orthodox tradition, from the first to the third day after death, the soul is on Earth and visits close relatives and places that were dear to her.

On the third day, a person is buried in a church. This tradition is associated with the Resurrection of Christ on the third day after the crucifixion.

Any deceased baptized person, if he has not renounced Orthodoxy or converted to another faith, can be served in a church.

Nowadays, it is not always possible to sing and bury the deceased on the third day after death. In this case, a person is buried and buried when possible, but prayer on the third day after death is very important.

On the ninth day after death, as St. Macarius of Alexandria says, the soul sees paradise and worships God. At this moment, she also needs prayer, so she needs to pray at home and go to church, submit a note for the liturgy () and order a requiem.

From the ninth to the fortieth day after death, as many holy fathers say, angels show a person and help him pass the tests that the soul goes through. Of course, people cannot fully imagine what happens to a person after his death, but the Church and the saints say that the prayers of the living help departed Christians.

On the fortieth day, the deceased is sent to the Last Judgment either to heaven or to hell. At this time, he also needs a prayer at a proskomedia and a memorial service at a requiem.

In the future, special commemoration is needed on the anniversary of death. On this day, after praying in church and at home, relatives can remember a dear person at a gala dinner.

Many holy fathers called the day of death the birthday of a person in a new life, therefore the grief from the loss of a loved one at this time can be mitigated by the joy that a Christian has already gone to Christ and can pray for his living loved ones after death.

For the departed, the Church prays and in. The most important of them are two ecumenical Saturdays - Trinity (on the eve of the Day of the Holy Trinity), and (two weeks before the beginning of Lent) Meat week. Both of these Saturdays do not have a fixed date and are celebrated each year at different times, depending on the dates of Lent and Easter.

It is very important to remember that dead Christians need prayer for them all the time, therefore, ideally, every day after the death of a person for his loved ones should become a "memorial day."
On the splash screen there is a fragment of a photo

The Christian Church teaches us that the once created immortal man, due to the original sin of Adam and Eve, lost this greatest gift. Since then, he has become perishable and, having passed the life path that the Lord has given him, leaves the earthly world, taking with him the burden of sins committed, but not redeemed by repentance. Therefore, our prayers and ceremonies are extremely important for him to gain eternal peace. About how the departed are commemorated on the anniversary of death (a year after death), and will be discussed in this article.

Commemorations of the deceased, preceding the anniversary of death

After a person's heart stopped beating and he appeared before the gates of eternity, the Orthodox Church prescribes his threefold commemoration. It takes place on the third, ninth and fortieth days after death. It is necessary to briefly mention them, because otherwise the story will be incomplete and how to remember the deceased on the anniversary of his death.

Commemoration of the deceased on the third day is performed to commemorate the three-day resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ. It is generally accepted that the first two days after parting with the body, the soul, accompanied by the angels, still wanders around the places dear to her in earthly memories. On the third day, the angels lift her to heaven to worship the Almighty. Thus, the day of the first standing before the Lord is the beginning of the memorial cycle, the end of which will be the anniversary of death. How to commemorate according to church custom on this still distant day will be described below.

The next rite is performed on the ninth day, symbolizing the nine ranks of the angels, interceding before the Lord for the repose of the soul of His deceased servant. The Church teaches that after the third day the soul leaves the earthly world and is carried by the angels to the heavenly abodes, which it contemplates for six days.

After that, she performs a secondary worship of the Lord and is plunged into hell, where she will have to stay until the fortieth day, continuously contemplating the torments endured by unrepentant sinners. And only after the blessedness of the righteous and the suffering of the wicked have been revealed to the soul, does it appear before the Almighty, who, according to earthly affairs, determines the place of its stay until the Last Judgment.

The third, ninth, and especially the fortieth day are just as important as the anniversary of death. How to remember the deceased at these stages of his stay in the afterlife is the topic of a special conversation, but we will turn to the rite performed a year after he passed away.

Daily prayer commemoration of the departed

From time immemorial, Orthodox people have developed a pious custom to commemorate in church on the anniversary of the death of all those who have passed away, regardless of how many years have passed since that sad day. However, this does not eliminate the need at home while reading the morning and evening prayer rules, and nowadays more and more people observe this church command, along with the texts contained in them, to say several funeral prayers. You can find them on the pages of an ordinary Orthodox Prayer Book.

The time that has passed since the death of a person close to us dulls the pain of the loss suffered, but, despite this, it is necessary to remember how much memorial prayers are necessary for him beyond the threshold of eternity, especially on the day when the anniversary of death has come. How to remember the deceased in order to help his soul to be freed from the gravity of sins? Many church fathers wrote about this, gaining fame with their theological works.

Preliminary cleansing of your own soul

If we turn to their writings, then in most of them one can see how much importance the authors attach to the mental and physical purity of those who intend to alleviate the posthumous fate of those close to him with their prayers. In other words, before you start praying for the forgiveness of someone else's sins, you need to repent of your own. Everyone knows that the prayer of the righteous is more often heard than the requests of one who is mired in sin.

In addition, speaking about how to commemorate correctly on the anniversary of death, the holy fathers strongly recommend starting preparations for this important matter with fasting, even if it is short. One - a maximum of two days of abstaining from meager food - meat, fish and dairy products, will help, by expelling carnal and sometimes sinful aspirations, so inherent in human nature, to direct thoughts towards the upcoming prayer communication with God. We draw your attention to the fact that fasting in this case is not a mandatory requirement, but is only recommended as a proven means of purifying your own soul and body.

This will help our prayers for the forgiveness of the sins of a loved one to be heard and find grace. The Church teaches that beyond the threshold of death it will be too late to repent of what they have done during life, and only those who remain on earth are able to pray to God to alleviate the fate of the deceased.

Continuing the conversation about how to properly commemorate the dead on the anniversary of death, one cannot but recall the custom of ordering regular commemoration of the deceased for forty days in the church in advance of this date. This rite is called the forty-mouth and originates from the first centuries of the establishment of Christianity in Russia. In this case, it serves as a preparatory stage for the main actions to be taken on the day of commemoration.

Where to start a church commemoration?

Despite the importance of home prayers, the main emphasis is still on the church service on the day of the anniversary of death. How to remember the deceased in the temple of God, you should ask the priest in advance, who will help you perform this rite in full accordance with the traditions of the Orthodox Church. We will dwell only on some of the generally accepted rules.

Usually, before the beginning of the liturgy, a note is submitted with the name of the deceased for his commemoration in the altar. By the way, the names of other close people who left this world at different times can be inscribed in it. All of them also need prayer support. In addition, on the day of the anniversary of death, as at any other time, it will be very appropriate to order a memorial service for the deceased.

What is a memorial service?

Since this funeral rite, which has long been accepted in Russian Orthodoxy, has a special meaning, continuing the conversation about how to commemorate the deceased on the anniversary of his death, it is worth dwelling on it in more detail. According to the rules set out in the Trebnik, a liturgical book regulating the procedure for performing the sacraments and other sacraments, the requiem can be held both in the church and in the house of the deceased, where the priest is invited for this purpose, as well as in the cemetery or in the place where life was cut short. a loved one. The funeral service is very similar in structure to the funeral service. The only difference is that in this case several prayers are excluded from it.

Kolivo, prosphora and alms are integral parts of the rite

In addition, in the Trebnik, indicating how the dead are commemorated on the anniversary of their death at home, in the cemetery and in the temple, it is ordered at the end of the church rite to put on the eve - a small rectangular table with a crucifix, where funeral candles usually burn - a dish filled with kutya - porridge made from whole wheat grains and poured with honey. According to church tradition, it is called a coliva. Leaving the church, you should take one or several prosphora with you and eat them at home on an empty stomach even before the commemoration meal begins.

Regardless of whether the memorial service was performed in the church, or the relatives of the deceased limited themselves to a modest domestic rite, it is highly recommended on this day, as on any other, to give alms to those whom the vicissitudes of life forced to seek food for themselves with outstretched hand. This humanly good deed is, moreover, the fulfillment of one of the main God's commandments, which prescribes love for neighbors and help to all who need it. It should be strictly observed throughout life, and not only on the day when someone's death anniversary comes.

How to remember a loved one in a cemetery?

Paying tribute to the memory of a loved one, it is also customary to visit his grave on the anniversary of his death. It is there that we most acutely feel the irreparability of the loss suffered. It is highly advisable a few days before that, having come to the cemetery, to check whether the tombstone, cross and fence are in proper order. If something needs to be repaired or painted, then you should do it immediately, and in any case, clean it up. In the fall - sweep the fallen leaves from the grave, in the winter - remove the snow, and in the spring and summer it is advisable to plant live seedlings.

On the anniversary of death, you can visit the cemetery both before going to church and after it. In this case, there are no rigid attitudes, and everyone can do what is more convenient for him. The only exception can be those cases when the relatives of the deceased want a priest to serve a litiya at the grave. Usually, there are churches on the territories of cemeteries, where you can apply with such a request, and it is better to do this in advance, since the priest may have other requirements for that day.

Ritual traditions governing the procedure for how to properly commemorate the departed on the anniversary of death allow all appropriate actions to be performed without the participation of a priest. In this case, one of those present, and among them, as a rule, are the closest relatives and friends of the deceased, can read the memorial prayers himself. They will be especially gracious if those present begin to do it one by one. The laying of natural or artificial flowers and wreaths is also an integral part of visiting the grave.

Memorial meals at the grave and at home

At the end of the reading of the prayers, the time comes for a short memorial meal, performed right at the grave. The tradition of the Orthodox Church prescribes to eat pancakes, jelly, and kutya on it, which was discussed above. You can also add fruits and homemade cakes to this simple menu.

Unfortunately, in the Soviet period, when the domination of atheistic ideology tore people away from the primordial church customs, standards that were completely alien to true piety were developed. One of them was the tradition of drinking alcoholic beverages at the grave, and often just getting drunk. We can say with full confidence that this fundamentally contradicts church rules, and it does not matter if the grave is visited on an ordinary day or it is the anniversary of death.

On the same day, it is customary to commemorate the deceased at a home meal, to which relatives are invited, as well as those who knew and loved him during his lifetime. Often a priest is one of the participants in the feast. Sometimes for this purpose they rent a room in a cafe or restaurant. In order for the commemoration to take place in accordance with the established tradition, a number of simple rules should be observed, as set out below.

The beginning of a home meal, like the one that was served at the cemetery, must be preceded by the same memorial prayer for the deceased. If a priest is invited to the house, then he reads, if not, then one of the relatives or several people in turn. Prayer in this case is important both for the repose of the soul of the deceased, and for the mood of those present in a solemn manner corresponding to the given moment.

Features of the memorial table

It is quite natural that each hostess tries to set as rich a table as possible, replete with various dishes, and thus please the tastes of all those present. However, it should be borne in mind that the church calendar, in addition to fast days, that is, those in which no restrictions are imposed on the list of foods to be eaten, also provides for fasts, both one-day and multi-day.

Since the commemoration itself is part of the Orthodox tradition, the meal menu must also meet the requirements set by the church for the day on which the anniversary of death fell. How to remember the deceased with only lean treats is a question that each housewife decides independently.

It is important to take into account that no matter how richly the table is served, the meal should begin with the traditional tasting of the same kutya. This custom has a very definite meaning. Wheat or any other grains from which it is prepared symbolize the resurrection of the soul, and honey poured on top is the pleasure that awaits the righteous in eternal life.

How to maintain a proper table setting

Another important point associated with a home meal is the correct choice of alcoholic beverages. If their use in the cemetery is inappropriate, as discussed above, then at the home table or in a restaurant it is permissible. However, in order not to darken the memory of a dear person and his death anniversary, remember the day of his death, taking into account the advice set out below. This will help avoid unpleasant situations that often arise as a result of excessive libation.

To be on the safe side, it is not recommended to put strong forty-degree drinks on the table. Better to give preference to church cahors or some light wines. At the same time, it is necessary to ensure that even their use does not go beyond the reasonable. Otherwise, the memorial meal can easily turn into an ordinary banquet, during which the memories of the deceased give way to laughter and fun, inappropriate in the given setting.

Scandals, abuse and a showdown at the memorial table are extremely unacceptable. It is advisable that during the whole lunch only the deceased was talked about, various episodes from his life were recalled, and everything that he had done good to people was told.

You can invite guests to view photographs of the deceased in the home or a video on which he was captured. Even if the deceased was not always distinguished by dignified behavior, the bad on this day should be forgotten. Instead, it is appropriate to focus on all the good things that he left behind.

Two more important questions

One should not lose sight of such a very essential question: what to do if the anniversary of death coincides with any of the major church holidays? How to remember - before or after, if on the day of the holiday itself, memorial prayers are not accepted (for example, on Easter)? In this case, the ceremony is postponed to the next weekend, or another convenient day. But even in this case, one should visit church, confess, receive communion, light a candle for the repose of the soul and give alms precisely on the anniversary of death.

There is one more important problem that the anniversary of death (1 year) poses to the relatives of the deceased, when people have to be remembered unbaptized or non-believers, or even suicides. Is it possible to pray for them at all, and if this is permissible, then how to do it correctly?

The answer can be found in the epistle of the Apostle Paul to the Colossians, where he says that for Christ “there is no Greek, no Jew, no barbarian, no Scythian ...”, and all are equal for the coming Kingdom of God. Therefore, it is possible and necessary to pray for all people, since for each deceased an important stage in his stay in the afterlife is the anniversary of death. Remember sooner or later - it depends on the calendar date, as discussed above.

The only thing that should be taken into account is the established rule to submit memorial notes to the church only with the names of those who underwent the rite of baptism during their lifetime and did not burden themselves with the sin of suicide. For all others, you need to pray for yourself, in the church and at home, in the cemetery, as well as in the place where death cut short the days of their lives. One must ask the Lord to grant remission of the sins they have committed and to rest souls in the Kingdom of Heaven.

There have long been traditions that determine what can and cannot be done within a year after the death of a loved one. Some are already outdated, and some of the customs are still alive today. You need to know about this ...

■ For the first seven days after a person dies, do not take anything out of the house.

■ On the 9th day after death, relatives go to church, order a memorial service, and set a second memorial table at home. The family of the deceased did not sit at the first memorial table.

Now, on the contrary: a family and nine more people sat at the table (three who washed the deceased, three who made a coffin, three who dug a hole) .In modern conditions, the number of invitees can vary, because there are various government services that provide the necessary funeral services: in the morgue, the deceased is changed, the coffin can be bought in the store of ritual accessories, the grave can also be prepared in advance. Therefore, there may be 3 - 6 - 9 invitees, or there may be no one.

■ On the 40th day after the death of a person, a third memorial table is arranged - "Sarakavitsy", which is attended by the family of the deceased, relatives, relatives, friends, colleagues at work. In the church I order the Sorokoust - forty liturgies.

■ From the day of the funeral until the 40th day, remembering the name of the deceased, we must utter a verbal formula-amulet for ourselves and all the living. At the same time, the same words are a symbolic wish for the deceased: "Earth rest in peace to him," thereby expressing the wishes that his soul was in paradise.

■ After the 40th day and for the next three years, we will say a different formula-wish: "The kingdom of heaven to him." Thus, we wish the deceased an afterlife in paradise. These words should be addressed to any deceased, regardless of the circumstances of his life and death. They are guided by the biblical commandment "Do not judge, but you will not be judged."
■ During the year following the death of a person, no family member has the moral right to take part in any celebration.

■ None of the family members of the deceased (including the second degree of kinship) could marry or marry during the period of mourning.

■ If a relative of the 1st-2nd degree of kinship has died in the family and after his death a year has not yet passed, then such a family does not have the right to paint eggs for Easter in red (they must be white or some other color - blue, black , green) and, accordingly, take part in the celebrations of Easter night.

■ After the death of her husband, the wife is not allowed to wash anything for a year on the day of the week in which the trouble occurs.

■ For a year after death, everything in the house where the deceased lived remains in a state of rest or constancy: you cannot make repairs, rearrange furniture, do not give or sell anything from the belongings of the deceased until the soul of the deceased reaches eternal rest.

■ Throughout this year and all subsequent years, you can go to the cemetery only on Saturdays (except for 9, 40 days after death and church holidays of veneration of ancestors, such as Radunitsa or Autumn Grandfathers). These are the days of commemoration of the dead recognized by the church. Try to convince your relatives that you should not constantly come to the grave of the deceased, thereby they harm their health.

■ The way you come to the cemetery, return the same way.

■ Visit the cemetery before 12 noon.

■ Days of special commemoration of the departed throughout the year:

Meat Saturday - Saturday in the ninth week before Easter;

Universal Parental Saturday - Saturday in the second week of Great Lent;

Universal Parental Saturday - Saturday in the third week of Lent;

Universal Parental Saturday - Saturday in the fourth week of Lent;

Radunitsa - Tuesday in the second week after Easter;

Trinity Saturday - Saturday in the seventh week after Easter;

Dmitrievskaya Saturday - Saturday in the third week after the Intercessions (14.10).

■ Exactly one year after the death, the family of the deceased is having a memorial meal ("please") - the 4th meal, which concludes the memorial family meal. It must be remembered that the living cannot be congratulated on their birthday in advance, and the final memorial table should be arranged either exactly one year later, or 1-3 days earlier.

■ On this day, you need to go to the temple and order a memorial service for the deceased, go to the cemetery - to visit the grave.

■ As soon as the last memorial meal is over, the family is again included in the traditional scheme of festive regulations of the folk calendar, becomes a full member of the community, has the right to take part in any family celebrations, including playing weddings.

■ A memorial on a grave can only be erected one year after the death of a person. Moreover, it is necessary to remember the golden rule of folk culture: "Do not graze the ground while grazing Pakravou da Radaunschi." This means if the year for the deceased fell on the end of October, i.e. after the Pokrov (and for the entire subsequent period up to Radunitsa), the monument can be erected only in the spring, after Radunitsa.

■ After the monument is erected, a cross (usually made of wood) is placed next to the grave for another year, and then thrown away. It can also be buried under a flower garden or under a gravestone.

■ It is possible to marry (get married) after the death of one of the spouses only after a year. If a woman married a second time, then the new husband became the full owner-owner only after seven years.

■ If the spouses were married, then after the death of the husband, his wife took his ring, and if she did not marry again, then both wedding rings were placed in her coffin.

■ If the husband buried his wife, then her wedding ring remained with him, and after his death, both rings were placed in his coffin, so that when they met in the Kingdom of Heaven, they would say: “I brought our rings with which the Lord God crowned us.

■ For three years, celebrate the birthday of the deceased and the day of his death. After this period, only the day of death and all annual church holidays of commemoration of the ancestors are celebrated.

■ Not all of us know how to pray, much less do we know how to pray for the dead. Learn a few prayers that may help your soul find peace after an irreparable loss.