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Loneliness. Why all more people he is chosen. Why are more and more people choosing loneliness as a lifestyle? Does solitude free you from obligations? How do single people change society itself? What does loneliness mean today and why is living alone no longer a shame? Let's get acquainted with the book “Life Solo,” writes monocler. New Social Reality” by Eric Kleinenberg, PhD, New York University, and understand the unique realities of the 21st century.

Loneliness. Why are more and more people choosing it?

Just 50 years ago, choosing to live alone was associated with something marginal and unnatural. Almost from birth, everyone received the message that living alone is not only strange and condemned, but also dangerous. Exaggeratedly, this idea appeared in the dystopian film “The Lobster” (2015), according to the plot of which singles were prosecuted by the law, and everyone who wanted, but did not find a mate, was turned into an animal and released into the forest.

Indeed, just 100 years ago, the inability to get married was considered a real grief, and tens of thousands of years before that, punishment in the form of expulsion from the community was often perceived as a measure much more terrible than the death penalty.

Today, an increasing number of people deliberately go on a free voyage - they refuse marriage, live and even travel alone. For example, in 1950, only 22% of Americans lived alone, but today more than 50% of US citizens choose to live alone.

How can one explain the rapid abolition of a set of traditions and rules previously revered throughout the world? Kleinenberg argues that transformations modern society At least four reasons contributed: the emancipation of women, social networks, changing urban spaces and increased life expectancy.

Indeed, for the first time in history, modern realities are such that each individual is a full-fledged cog in the economy, which is why a huge number of offers for bachelors have appeared on the housing market. Women's emancipation allows you to make a decision about marriage and having children without threatening your future, and an increase in life expectancy leads to the fact that one of the spouses inevitably outlives the other and is not always ready to connect their life with a new person.

Thus, loneliness today takes on a completely different meaning than it did 50 or 60 years ago. Now the right to live solo is a deeply personal and completely adequate decision, which is resorted to by millions of people on the planet.

However, despite the fact that physically living in solitude has become accessible, many stereotypes still hover around singles. You need to understand that today living solo does not mean complete isolation. Thanks to the Internet and the ability to work from home, singles are immersed in active social life. In fact, research shows that most single people have more fulfilling lives than their married counterparts. First of all, this is due to the fact that new image life is a choice in favor of healthy egoism, that is, time intended for oneself.

“Mass of people decided on this social experiment because, in their view, such a life corresponds to the key values ​​of modernity - individual freedom, personal control and the desire for self-realization, that is, values ​​that are important and dear to many from adolescence. Living alone gives us the opportunity to do what we want, when we want it and on the terms we set.”

This position, common today, conflicts with the traditional model of behavior. At the same time, it is known that those who get married or have children only because “it’s necessary”, without unnecessary reflection, often condemn those who choose a life “without obligations”, regardless of their personal level happiness. Meanwhile, sociological observations show:

“...people who have never been married are not only no less happy than those who are married, but they also feel much happier and less lonely than those who have divorced or lost a spouse... All those who have divorced or separated from their spouse will attest that there is no lonely life than living with someone you don't love."

Friends and relatives of single people are often worried and want to quickly find their soul mate, get an office job, or see their loved ones more often. In fact, those singles for whom solitude is a personal choice are not outsiders and do not suffer. From a psychological point of view, someone who is not bored with himself is a complete person, not prone to destructive codependency. Kleinenberg notes:

“In fact, the increase in the number of people living alone has nothing to do with whether Americans feel lonely or not. There is a wealth of publicly available research that shows that feelings of loneliness depend on the quality, not the quantity, of social contacts. What’s important here is not the fact that a person lives alone, what’s important is whether he feels lonely.”

In addition, it is quite obvious that today we are forced to rotate in a frantic flow of information. Messages and notifications in in social networks mix with phone calls and news on TV, turning our everyday lives into an information meat grinder. Perhaps the conscious appeal to solitude is also associated with the desire to take a break from external noise.

Recent research cited in Kleinenberg's work suggests that most modern singles lead active social lives. Many of them have jobs, friends and lovers, and some even get married. What does loneliness have to do with it? The new social reality allows you to simultaneously have some kind of relationship and take care of yourself on your territory. So, married couples Those in need of personal space prefer to live separately, meeting, for example, on Sundays.

This approach to relationships often causes misunderstanding and even condemnation - changing patterned behavior rarely causes acceptance by the majority. Also, many accuse single people of self-centeredness, high self-esteem and indifferent attitude towards people. You need to understand that most often such attacks arise from those who lead a less intense social life, have big amount free time and susceptible to psychological dependence.

Modern singles are ready to support social contacts However, they are strict in choosing friends. Their external isolation (the desire to live alone) does not mean that they do not need people, or that they do not know how to love. In addition, those who choose to live solo understand that the number of friends and acquaintances does not guarantee inner comfort.

Also, many people believe that single people do not face problems because they are deprived of any obligations, which is also not true. Solo living as a lifestyle is a completely new phenomenon, the scale of which the world was not prepared for. This is why single people face many problems today.

Some employers are not ready to hire an unmarried person, suspecting him of irresponsibility. In this case, single individuals are forced to fight against stereotypes. Travel enthusiasts note that the price of a tour or hotel room per person is significantly higher than the cost of a vacation for couples or companies. That is why today entire societies have emerged to protect the rights of single people. It is obvious that business development is possible soon, target audience which will become lonely people.

Now, despite the global growth of single-person households, conscious loneliness causes misunderstanding and accusations of infantilism. However, psychologists and psychiatrists note that the ability to live alone is required quality, which many cannot learn in their entire lives.

It is known that everyone needs to be alone from time to time in order to understand their place in the reality around them. Moreover, a high percentage of singles can afford to spend a large number of time for self-realization. It is no coincidence that most often this lifestyle is chosen by representatives of the so-called creative class.

Eric Kleinenberg published his research just two years ago. In it, he declares a “massive social experiment” in which the whole world is participating. Interestingly, today, 24 months later, the phenomenon of living solo has become much more commonplace, which means that soon we will be able to talk not only about an experiment, but also about a truly new social reality.

Just 50 years ago, choosing to live alone was associated with something marginal and unnatural. Almost from birth, everyone received the message that living alone is not only strange and condemned, but also dangerous. Exaggeratedly, this idea appeared in the dystopian film “ Lobster"(2015), according to the plot of which singles were persecuted by law, and everyone who wanted, but did not find a mate, was turned into an animal and released into the forest.

Indeed, just 100 years ago, the inability to get married was considered a real grief, and tens of thousands of years before that, punishment in the form of expulsion from the community was often perceived as a measure much more terrible than the death penalty.

Today, an increasing number of people deliberately go on a free voyage - they refuse marriage, live and even travel alone. For example, in 1950, only 22% of Americans lived alone, but today more than 50% of US citizens choose to live alone.

How can one explain the rapid abolition of a set of traditions and rules previously revered throughout the world? Kleinenberg argues that at least four factors have contributed to the transformation of modern society: the emancipation of women, social networks, changing urban spaces, and increased life expectancy.

Indeed, for the first time in history, modern realities are such that each individual is a full-fledged cog in the economy, which is why a huge number of offers for bachelors have appeared on the housing market. Women's emancipation allows you to make a decision about marriage and having children without threatening your future, and an increase in life expectancy leads to the fact that one of the spouses inevitably outlives the other and is not always ready to connect their life with a new person.

Thus, loneliness today takes on a completely different meaning than it did 50 or 60 years ago. Now the right to live solo is a deeply personal and completely adequate decision, which is resorted to by millions of people on the planet.

However, despite the fact that physically living in solitude has become accessible, many stereotypes still hover around singles. You need to understand that today living solo does not mean complete isolation. Thanks to the Internet and the ability to work from home, singles are immersed in an active social life. In fact, research shows that most single people have more fulfilling lives than their married counterparts. First of all, this is due to the fact that the new lifestyle is a choice in favor of healthy selfishness, that is, time intended for oneself.

“Mass of people decided to undertake this social experiment because, in their view, such a life corresponds to the key values ​​of modernity - individual freedom, personal control and the desire for self-realization, that is, values ​​that are important and dear to many from adolescence. Living alone gives us the opportunity to do what we want, when we want it and on the terms we set.”

This position, common today, conflicts with the traditional model of behavior. At the same time, it is known that those who get married or have children just because “it’s the right thing to do,” without unnecessary reflection, often condemn those who choose a life “without obligations,” regardless of their personal level of happiness. Meanwhile, sociological observations show:

“...people who have never been married are not only no less happy than those who are married, but they also feel much happier and less lonely than those who are divorced or have lost their spouse.... All Those who have divorced or separated from their spouse will attest that there is no lonelier life than living with someone you don't love."

Friends and relatives of single people are often worried and want to quickly find their soul mate, get an office job, or see their loved ones more often. In fact, those singles for whom solitude is a personal choice are not outsiders and do not suffer. From a psychological point of view, someone who is not bored with himself is a complete person, not prone to destructive codependency. Kleinenberg notes:

“In fact, the increase in the number of people living alone has nothing to do with whether Americans feel lonely or not. There is a wealth of publicly available research that shows that feelings of loneliness depend on the quality, not the quantity, of social contacts. What’s important here is not the fact that a person lives alone, what’s important is whether he feels lonely.”

In addition, it is quite obvious that today we are forced to rotate in a frantic flow of information. Messages and notifications on social networks mix with phone calls and news on TV, turning our everyday lives into an information grinder. Perhaps the conscious appeal to solitude is also associated with the desire to take a break from external noise.

Recent research cited in Kleinenberg's work suggests that most modern singles lead active social lives. Many of them have jobs, friends and lovers, and some even get married. What does loneliness have to do with it? The new social reality allows you to simultaneously have some kind of relationship and take care of yourself on your territory. Thus, married couples who need personal space prefer to live separately, meeting, for example, on Sundays.

This approach to relationships often causes misunderstanding and even condemnation - changing patterned behavior rarely causes acceptance by the majority. Also, many accuse single people of self-centeredness, high self-esteem and indifferent attitude towards people. You need to understand that most often such attacks arise from those who lead a less busy social life, have more free time and are susceptible to psychological dependence. Modern singles are ready to maintain social contacts, but they are strict in choosing friends. Their external isolation (the desire to live alone) does not mean that they do not need people, or that they do not know how to love. In addition, those who choose to live solo understand that the number of friends and acquaintances does not guarantee inner comfort.

Also, many people believe that single people do not face problems because they are deprived of any obligations, which is also not true. Solo living as a lifestyle is a completely new phenomenon, the scale of which the world was not prepared for. This is why single people face many problems today. Some employers are not ready to hire an unmarried person, suspecting him of irresponsibility. In this case, single individuals are forced to fight against stereotypes. Travel enthusiasts note that the price of a tour or hotel room per person is significantly higher than the cost of a vacation for couples or companies. That is why today entire societies have emerged to protect the rights of single people. It is obvious that it will soon be possible to develop a business whose target audience will be single people.

Now, despite the global growth of single-person households, conscious loneliness causes misunderstanding and accusations of infantilism. However, psychologists and psychiatrists note that the ability to live alone is a necessary quality that many cannot learn in their entire lives. It is known that everyone needs to be alone from time to time in order to understand their place in the reality around them. Moreover, a high percentage of singles can afford to spend a large amount of time on self-realization. It is no coincidence that most often this lifestyle is chosen by representatives of the so-called creative class.

Eric Kleinenberg published his research just two years ago. In it, he declares a “massive social experiment” in which the whole world is participating. Interestingly, today, 24 months later, the phenomenon of living solo has become much more commonplace, which means that soon we will be able to talk not only about an experiment, but also about a truly new social reality.

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Loneliness. Why are more and more people choosing it? Why are more and more people choosing loneliness as a lifestyle? Does solitude free you from obligations? How do single people change society itself? What does loneliness mean today and why is living alone no longer a shame? Let's get acquainted with the book “Life Solo,” writes monocler. New Social Reality” by Eric Kleinenberg, PhD, New York University, and understand the unique realities of the 21st century.

Just 50 years ago, choosing to live alone was associated with something marginal and unnatural. Almost from birth, everyone received the message that living alone is not only strange and condemned, but also dangerous. Exaggeratedly, this idea appeared in the dystopian film “The Lobster” (2015), according to the plot of which singles were prosecuted by the law, and everyone who wanted, but did not find a mate, was turned into an animal and released into the forest.

Indeed, just 100 years ago, the inability to get married was considered a real grief, and tens of thousands of years before that, punishment in the form of expulsion from the community was often perceived as a measure much more terrible than the death penalty.

Today, an increasing number of people deliberately go on a free voyage - they refuse marriage, live and even travel alone. For example, in 1950, only 22% of Americans lived alone, but today more than 50% of US citizens choose to live alone.

How can one explain the rapid abolition of a set of traditions and rules previously revered throughout the world? Kleinenberg argues that at least four factors have contributed to the transformation of modern society: the emancipation of women, social networks, changing urban spaces, and increased life expectancy.

Indeed, for the first time in history, modern realities are such that each individual is a full-fledged cog in the economy, which is why a huge number of offers for bachelors have appeared on the housing market. Women's emancipation allows you to make a decision about marriage and having children without threatening your future, and an increase in life expectancy leads to the fact that one of the spouses inevitably outlives the other and is not always ready to connect their life with a new person.

Thus, loneliness today takes on a completely different meaning than it did 50 or 60 years ago. Now the right to live solo is a deeply personal and completely adequate decision, which is resorted to by millions of people on the planet.

However, despite the fact that physically living in solitude has become accessible, many stereotypes still hover around singles. You need to understand that today living solo does not mean complete isolation. Thanks to the Internet and the ability to work from home, singles are immersed in an active social life. In fact, research shows that most single people have more fulfilling lives than their married counterparts. First of all, this is due to the fact that the new lifestyle is a choice in favor of healthy selfishness, that is, time intended for oneself.

“Mass of people decided to undertake this social experiment because, in their view, such a life corresponds to the key values ​​of modernity - individual freedom, personal control and the desire for self-realization, that is, values ​​that are important and dear to many from adolescence. Living alone gives us the opportunity to do what we want, when we want it and on the terms we set.”

This position, common today, conflicts with the traditional model of behavior. At the same time, it is known that those who get married or have children just because “it’s the right thing to do,” without unnecessary reflection, often condemn those who choose a life “without obligations,” regardless of their personal level of happiness. Meanwhile, sociological observations show:

“...people who have never been married are not only no less happy than those who are married, but they also feel much happier and less lonely than those who have divorced or lost a spouse... All those who have divorced or separated from their spouse will attest that there is no lonely life than living with someone you don't love."

Friends and relatives of single people are often worried and want to quickly find their soul mate, get an office job, or see their loved ones more often. In fact, those singles for whom solitude is a personal choice are not outsiders and do not suffer. From a psychological point of view, someone who is not bored with himself is a complete person, not prone to destructive codependency. Kleinenberg notes:

“In fact, the increase in the number of people living alone has nothing to do with whether Americans feel lonely or not. There is a wealth of publicly available research that shows that feelings of loneliness depend on the quality, not the quantity, of social contacts. What’s important here is not the fact that a person lives alone, what’s important is whether he feels lonely.”

In addition, it is quite obvious that today we are forced to rotate in a frantic flow of information. Messages and notifications on social networks mix with phone calls and news on TV, turning our everyday lives into an information grinder. Perhaps the conscious appeal to solitude is also associated with the desire to take a break from external noise.

Recent research cited in Kleinenberg's work suggests that most modern singles lead active social lives. Many of them have jobs, friends and lovers, and some even get married. What does loneliness have to do with it? The new social reality allows you to simultaneously have some kind of relationship and take care of yourself on your territory. Thus, married couples who need personal space prefer to live separately, meeting, for example, on Sundays.

This approach to relationships often causes misunderstanding and even condemnation - changing patterned behavior rarely causes acceptance by the majority. Also, many accuse single people of self-centeredness, high self-esteem and indifferent attitude towards people. You need to understand that most often such attacks arise from those who lead a less busy social life, have more free time and are susceptible to psychological dependence.

Modern singles are ready to maintain social contacts, but they are strict in choosing friends. Their external isolation (the desire to live alone) does not mean that they do not need people, or that they do not know how to love. In addition, those who choose to live solo understand that the number of friends and acquaintances does not guarantee inner comfort.

Also, many people believe that single people do not face problems because they are deprived of any obligations, which is also not true. Solo living as a lifestyle is a completely new phenomenon, the scale of which the world was not prepared for. This is why single people face many problems today.

Some employers are not ready to hire an unmarried person, suspecting him of irresponsibility. In this case, single individuals are forced to fight against stereotypes. Travel enthusiasts note that the price of a tour or hotel room per person is significantly higher than the cost of a vacation for couples or companies. That is why today entire societies have emerged to protect the rights of single people. It is obvious that it will soon be possible to develop a business whose target audience will be single people.

Now, despite the global growth of single-person households, conscious loneliness causes misunderstanding and accusations of infantilism. However, psychologists and psychiatrists note that the ability to live alone is a necessary quality that many cannot learn in their entire lives.

It is known that everyone needs to be alone from time to time in order to understand their place in the reality around them. Moreover, a high percentage of singles can afford to spend a large amount of time on self-realization. It is no coincidence that most often this lifestyle is chosen by representatives of the so-called creative class.

Eric Kleinenberg published his research just two years ago. In it, he declares a “massive social experiment” in which the whole world is participating. Interestingly, today, 24 months later, the phenomenon of living solo has become much more commonplace, which means that soon we will be able to talk not only about an experiment, but also about a truly new social reality.

Why are more and more people choosing loneliness as a lifestyle? Does solitude free you from obligations? How do single people change society itself? What does loneliness mean today and why is living alone no longer a shame?

Let's get acquainted with the book “Life Solo. New Social Reality” by Eric Kleinenberg, PhD, New York University, and understand the unique realities of the 21st century.

Just 50 years ago, choosing to live alone was associated with something marginal and unnatural. Almost from birth, everyone received the message that living alone is not only strange and condemned, but also dangerous. Exaggeratedly, this idea appeared in the dystopian film “The Lobster” (2015), according to the plot of which singles were prosecuted by the law, and everyone who wanted, but did not find a mate, was turned into an animal and released into the forest.

Indeed, just 100 years ago, the inability to get married was considered a real grief, and tens of thousands of years before that, punishment in the form of expulsion from the community was often perceived as a measure much more terrible than the death penalty.

Today, an increasing number of people deliberately go on a free voyage - they refuse marriage, live and even travel alone. For example, in 1950, only 22% of Americans lived alone, but today more than 50% of US citizens choose to live alone.

How can one explain the rapid abolition of a set of traditions and rules previously revered throughout the world? Kleinenberg argues that at least four factors have contributed to the transformation of modern society: the emancipation of women, social networks, changing urban spaces, and increased life expectancy.

Indeed, for the first time in history, modern realities are such that each individual is a full-fledged cog in the economy, which is why a huge number of offers for bachelors have appeared on the housing market.

Women's emancipation allows you to make a decision about marriage and having children without threatening your future, and an increase in life expectancy leads to the fact that one of the spouses inevitably outlives the other and is not always ready to connect their life with a new person.

Thus, loneliness today takes on a completely different meaning than it did 50 or 60 years ago. Now the right to live solo is a deeply personal and completely adequate decision, which is resorted to by millions of people on the planet.

However, despite the fact that physically living in solitude has become accessible, many stereotypes still hover around singles. You need to understand that today living solo does not mean complete isolation. Thanks to the Internet and the ability to work from home, singles are immersed in an active social life. In fact, research shows that most single people have more fulfilling lives than their married counterparts. First of all, this is due to the fact that the new lifestyle is a choice in favor of healthy selfishness, that is, time intended for oneself.

“Mass of people decided to undertake this social experiment because, in their view, such a life corresponds to the key values ​​of modernity - individual freedom, personal control and the desire for self-realization, that is, values ​​that are important and dear to many from adolescence.

Living alone gives us the opportunity to do what we want, when we want it and on the terms we set.”

This position, common today, conflicts with the traditional model of behavior. At the same time, it is known that those who get married or have children just because “it’s the right thing to do,” without unnecessary reflection, often condemn those who choose a life “without obligations,” regardless of their personal level of happiness. Meanwhile, sociological observations show:

“...people who have never been married are not only no less happy than those who are married, but they also feel much happier and less lonely than those who have divorced or lost a spouse...

All those who have divorced or separated from their spouse will attest that there is no lonely life than living with someone you don't love."

Friends and relatives of single people are often worried and want to quickly find their soul mate, get an office job, or see their loved ones more often. In fact, those singles for whom solitude is a personal choice are not outsiders and do not suffer. From a psychological point of view, someone who is not bored with himself is a complete person, not prone to destructive codependency. Kleinenberg notes:

“In fact, the increase in the number of people living alone has nothing to do with whether Americans feel lonely or not.

There is a wealth of publicly available research that shows that feelings of loneliness depend on the quality, not the quantity, of social contacts. What’s important here is not the fact that a person lives alone, what’s important is whether he feels lonely.”

In addition, it is quite obvious that today we are forced to rotate in a frantic flow of information. Messages and notifications on social networks mix with phone calls and news on TV, turning our everyday lives into an information grinder. Perhaps the conscious appeal to solitude is also associated with the desire to take a break from external noise.

Recent research cited in Kleinenberg's work suggests that most modern singles lead active social lives. Many of them have jobs, friends and lovers, and some even get married. What does loneliness have to do with it?

The new social reality allows you to simultaneously have some kind of relationship and take care of yourself on your territory. Thus, married couples who need personal space prefer to live separately, meeting, for example, on Sundays.

This approach to relationships often causes misunderstanding and even condemnation - changing patterned behavior rarely causes acceptance by the majority. Also, many accuse single people of self-centeredness, high self-esteem and indifferent attitude towards people.

You need to understand that most often such attacks arise from those who lead a less busy social life, have more free time and are susceptible to psychological dependence. Modern singles are ready to maintain social contacts, but they are strict in choosing friends. Their external isolation (the desire to live alone) does not mean that they do not need people, or that they do not know how to love.

In addition, those who choose to live solo understand that the number of friends and acquaintances does not guarantee inner comfort.

Also, many people believe that single people do not face problems because they are deprived of any obligations, which is also not true. Solo living as a lifestyle is a completely new phenomenon, the scale of which the world was not prepared for. This is why single people face many problems today. Some employers are not ready to hire an unmarried person, suspecting him of irresponsibility.

In this case, single individuals are forced to fight against stereotypes. Travel enthusiasts note that the price of a tour or hotel room per person is significantly higher than the cost of a vacation for couples or companies.

That is why today entire societies have emerged to protect the rights of single people. It is obvious that it will soon be possible to develop a business whose target audience will be single people.

Now, despite the global growth of single-person households, conscious loneliness causes misunderstanding and accusations of infantilism.

However, psychologists and psychiatrists note that the ability to live alone is a necessary quality that many cannot learn in their entire lives. It is known that everyone needs to be alone from time to time in order to understand their place in the reality around them.

Moreover, a high percentage of singles can afford to spend a large amount of time on self-realization. It is no coincidence that most often this lifestyle is chosen by representatives of the so-called creative class.

Interestingly, today, 24 months later, the phenomenon of living solo has become much more commonplace, which means that soon we will be able to talk not only about an experiment, but also about a truly new social reality.

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MOSCOW, January 21— RIA Novosti, Igor Karmazin."How to spend New Year alone", "tours for the January holidays for one", "where to go in the evening on your own" - there are more and more such requests on the Internet every year. Psychologists say: the number of those who consciously refuse permanent relationships and family is constantly growing. They themselves They are called singletons - from the English singleton (single - Ed.) RIA Novosti tried to understand why this outlook on life is attractive.

Alone, all alone

Financial analyst Alexander Sutyagin seems to be surprised by his lifestyle. “I finally realized that I was a loner when I refused all invitations to celebrate the New Year in a company and clinked glasses with my monitor. During the holidays, I dodged two offers to go skiing, although one was from a pretty girl. In principle, I like her, but “, knowing her character, I feel that she wants a relationship, but I don’t,” he says.

He has a prestigious car, his own apartment, and travels abroad several times a year. “I was once married, I went everywhere with my wife. I remember we always had arguments - she wanted a beach holiday, but I like excursions, I like to learn something new. Now I travel exclusively alone. I’m my own boss, I spend my time like this , as I see fit,” explains Alexander.

Psychologists say that there are more and more conscious loners in the world. Western countries are ahead of the rest of the world in this sense. Doctor of psychological and candidate of medical sciences, psychotherapist of the European registry Mark Sandomirsky says that in the rich European countries among young people and middle-aged people there are already 20-30 percent singletons. According to him, this lifestyle is rapidly gaining popularity in Russia, especially in Moscow and other megacities.

Brain halves and pills

What is the reason? The expert points to the crisis of the family institution. “In a patriarchal society, it was very difficult to survive without a husband or wife. Now people can provide for themselves, many are building a career and do not intend to share time or money with anyone else,” explains Sandomirsky. And he emphasizes that one cannot talk about the homogeneity of the singleton community; they differ greatly in age and life orientations.

One group is formed by young people aged about 25 years. They live for their own pleasure and do not burden themselves with anything, often shifting their problems onto their parents.

“Only the brain, the ass and the pill have a soul mate - Faina Ranevskaya said it, I completely agree with her. I have nothing against relationships and family when they are based on spiritual kinship, trust, acceptance and understanding of another as oneself. Although it just so happens that I don’t need it yet. romantic relationship I was never interested at all,” admits 26-year-old Anna Kuznetsova, a designer.

The second group is thirty-year-olds. These are, as a rule, ambitious, purposeful careerists. They sacrifice their family to business success.

In the third group are singles from those over forty. Many after the collapse of their personal lives, each has their own painful story. They rely on loneliness so as not to get burned again, explains Sandomirsky. According to him, in the last few years it is this group of singletons that has been growing most rapidly.

“My favorite joke on this topic: “One man was constantly being persuaded to get married. Like, if you live alone, you will die, and no one will even bring you a glass of water. Well, he got married and had children. He’s lying there, dying and thinking: “But I don’t even want to drink,” jokes 41-year-old banking analyst Vladimir Morozov.

According to him, what he likes most in life is to follow clear plans: he already knows that he will go on vacation to Mallorca in August, and will attend leadership training in October. “There was always chaos with my wife. Although I loved her very much, the divorce was a real hell for me... I have a lot of friends, girlfriends, I have enough sex now. At work there are constant meetings, hassle. By the evening I usually don’t want to see anyone anymore Three years have passed since the divorce, but I don’t think I’ll ever live with someone again,” he says.

In the experience economy

The phenomenon of conscious loneliness has already acquired its own philosophy. In New York sociologist Eric Kleinenberg's book Solo Living, singletons are a progressive phenomenon. The scientist believes that collectivism, including the family way of life, is becoming a thing of the past. Modern man, in his opinion, lives for himself, professes individualism and is engaged in self-development. However, according to some studies, people with weak social connections are more susceptible to depression and have a shorter life expectancy.

Experts also point out that the singleton phenomenon is facilitated by the nature of the modern economy. The production of goods is, one way or another, of course. I bought a car, but you’re unlikely to go get the next one the next day. More and more industries are focused on providing experiences rather than products that can be consumed almost without interruption. In such an economy, single people are a godsend. After all, they often gain a sense of fullness of life precisely through hobbies and entertainment.

“It’s simple arithmetic. How many TVs does one person need? That’s right, one. And for a family of three? Well, most likely, one too. And so on for many other parameters,” Alexei Korenev, an analyst at the Finam group of companies, points out his fingers. According to him, single people are much more willing to make purchases, but are not prone to squandering.

“Many have significant financial savings and are willing to invest. Some buy dollars and euros the old fashioned way, others study the issue more thoroughly and invest in mutual funds,” notes Korenev.

On the verge of an epidemic

Another factor contributing to the popularization of this lifestyle is social networks. It would seem that the Internet provides limitless opportunities for communication, but often virtual contacts create only an illusion rich life. And they do not require any obligations to others. As soon as you become uncomfortable communicating with certain interlocutors on the Internet, you can easily change them and move on to another topic. In reality, you have to be responsible for your words and for those with whom you build relationships.

“I sometimes throw parties with myself,” says Elena Ignatieva, the owner of a beauty salon in Perm. “I buy my favorite dried apricots and dates, climb onto the sofa with my feet, put my laptop on my knees and chat with friends on Facebook. I got tired and went to bed. I washed it in the morning.” three plates - and the house is already in order."

Scientists are constantly studying the phenomenon of loneliness. They recently concluded that it is contagious: state of mind transmitted like a virus. It turned out that if a person feels lonely at least one day a week, his loved ones also have this feeling. It is possible that in the near future, developed countries will face another epidemic - loneliness.