Spontaneous behavior.

Fabrics used

Why is spontaneity needed? Spontaneity, in the life of every person, has an equally important role, no matter how much we underestimate it. Literally, the word “spontaneity” is translated from Latin as “free will.” It is this that allows us to feel vitality, enjoy every manifestation of life, accept Active participation

in your own destiny, and not just go with the flow in an unclear direction.

This is a basic resource that is given to a person from birth, but is used less and less as he grows older. In childhood, we are guided by internal impulses, but over time, social frameworks, morals, rules and laws make their own adjustments. There are generally accepted norms of behavior, under the influence of which many lose their ability to be spontaneous. What stops us from making internal impulses is the fear of being misunderstood by society and rejected. Existential anxiety of loneliness forces one to choose more conforming lines of behavior supported by society. Spontaneity also involves the disclosure of one's own self, without masks, games and pretense, as a result of which a person becomes very vulnerable in his manifestations and motives, and may lose a sense of security.

What is spontaneity? When you think about who a “spontaneous person” is, how he behaves, what he is interested in and does, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? Most likely this is some collective image

- a cheerful, easy-going, bright, sociable, non-conforming, interesting person who easily establishes contacts with others, does not hesitate to show his own emotions and live according to his interests. But this description does not always coincide with reality. It often turns out that such seemingly independent and spontaneous people behave according to a certain pattern, being prisoners of their own image. According to Jung, the human psyche contains several components - internal archetypes. These include the persona and the self. In short, a persona is the public face of an individual, the image that a person presents to others, a social mask. The Self is the true, deep, real Self of a person, which unites the conscious and unconscious and is a holistic manifestation of personality. It is important to understand that spontaneity has nothing to do with the person, but is a product of the self, because it is born under the influence of internal, not socially conditioned, impulses.

Spontaneity is not shocking or impulsive; it has little to do with looseness, infantility and immaturity, dementia and courage. This is the ability (talent!) to be oneself, in harmony with inner world, to be here and now, just to be. In spontaneity we open up, we are real, we exist in the moment, this is how we can truly meet ourselves and other people, it fills us with a lot of personal meaning.

How to develop spontaneity?

Jacob Levy Moreno, a famous psychologist and psychiatrist of the last century, the father of psychodrama, was the first to ask this question. He considered spontaneity and creativity as two main concepts that define human essence. Moreno said that spontaneity is an energy, the suppression of which leads to neurosis, and the uncontrolled manifestation of which leads to psychosis. The psychodramatic approach is aimed at developing spontaneity and its correct manifestation through acting out and improvisation.

Developing spontaneity is very difficult task. This phrase itself contains a paradox, because “develop” implies some kind of external influence, which conflicts with the internal impulse of the emergence of spontaneity. But Gestalt psychology, with its main principle “here and now,” can come to our aid in this. Learning to be in the present moment is very important for the manifestation of inner motivations. After all, only when we immerse ourselves in the present with our heads, we can find a response to it within ourselves, understand our true emotions and desires, and act in accordance with them.

Constant control over ourselves and what is happening around us, schedules, multitasking, schedules and plans really make our life easier, but if we add a little more spontaneity to it, it can turn out to be much more interesting!

As promised, I continue the previous article about how to be self-aware!

Life, which proceeds according to strictly and narrowly defined rules, alienates a person from himself, and then it is useless to ramble on the topic “I am.”

And a person completely devoid of spontaneity certainly has neurosis!

You can ask yourself the question: “What do I want today”? It is possible, but it is not true! I probably already have a plan and schedule for today, but “I want” can only be in this moment. The question is asked: “What do I want now” and no enumeration of answer options, since this is again planning. A desire for one thing or another will come on its own without thinking about it.

Spontaneity is not subject to external circumstances, it is a manifestation of internal impulses and desires. And if I don’t follow my own “I want and don’t want, like and don’t like,” then I am a slave to external circumstances and my own learned roles.

Then it is useless to say “I am,” but it is better to say “I am not.” Last phrase unpleasant, but also useful for realizing “I am” as the opposite.

Neurosis appears when you no longer see your real self, but replace it with fictitious images and roles!

I am not there when I am inflexible, in a routine and acting according to a pattern. I am not there when I don’t know what I want and what I like. And finally, I am not there when I am afraid of making a mistake, of making a mistake, of having an accident, of being unable to cope! At this time, my thoughts are all outward and in fear. And this is already neurosis!

And a spontaneous person also has roles and rules, but he has more roles and rules and they are varied, and sometimes even opposite, since they are intended for opposite and changeable situations. A spontaneous person is not inclined to dogmas and immutable rules; he is natural, lives according to the situation, and is guided not only by his mind, but also by his heart. A spontaneous person is far from neurosis as a narrowly focused unnatural behavior.

And such a person is by nature inclined to creativity!

The dialectic of stability and variability is the basis of existence and any extreme is harmful. Excessive spontaneity is already impulsiveness, carelessness, recklessness, life according to the principle “whatever the left leg wants”! A moderately spontaneous person does not emphasize caution and foresight, but also does not forget to plan and predict.

Hidden in each of us inner child and spontaneity is precisely what characterizes him. Look how spontaneous children are.

But our inner adult also has worldly experience, intelligence and practical skills.

And here internal parent warns, limits, strains, controls. And it is needed, but in moderation. Excessive self-control is the opposite of spontaneity.

So! I exist regardless outside world, but in close, dynamic and sensitive contact with it, connecting, if necessary, self-control and thinking.

Spontaneity is the topic of this article, it is important to use spontaneity in life, spontaneity comes from the soul.

Spontaneity is as important in life as anything else. Without it, life becomes boring, insipid, and uninteresting. People are used to living according to plan. That's how we were taught. Planned five-year plans in the USSR. Fulfill the plan, exceed it. But the plan of life is the sphere of the mind, and spontaneity comes from the soul. And here it is just as important , as in everything else. Balance must be present in all areas of a person’s life, especially between the mind and soul.

Spontaneity is the realm of the soul

Spontaneity comes from the soul. The problem is that a person is mainly controlled by the mind. The mind has seized power over man. Human civilization- This is a civilization of the mind, not the soul. Moreover, man is a slave of his mind, not a master. The owner follows the soul, not the mind. A person obediently follows the lead of his mind. The main thing here is to listen less to your thoughts, and feel more about yourself and your body. The soul communicates with you through feelings.

Feelings should not be confused with emotions. Emotions are a consequence of thoughts. And feelings are not a consequence, they are most often the cause.

Your highest truth is hidden in your deepest feelings.

A person needs to loosen up and let himself go. Stop constantly controlling everything. Let go of the world and yourself, let life take its course. Stop holding the world by the throat.

Everything will be as it will be. Feel yourself. And the more you feel, the more spontaneous you become. The more your life becomes more interesting and unexpected.

If you are walking somewhere and suddenly you want to stop and admire the beauty surrounding nature, do it. If you suddenly feel like approaching to a stranger and chat, do it. If you suddenly really want to eat ice cream, do it. If you suddenly want to scream at the top of your lungs, then scream. All this is the desire of your soul.

But know that if you are controlled by the mind, you will not do this and will find a thousand excuses why you should not do this. You are in a hurry to work, you have no time, it is indecent, what will people think - these are all the thoughts of your mind, and if you follow their lead during the impulse that you felt, then congratulations, you are a slave of the mind, the owner does not pay attention to these thoughts, and follows the impulses of the soul.

You came into this world for your soul to rejoice

Yes exactly. Everything for the soul. Not for the mind. The soul came into this world to experience joy and love. Don't stop her from doing this. Just allow the impulses coming from the soul to flow freely through your body.

The problem is that a person does not hear his soul. His mind, which creates an uninterrupted flow of thoughts, simply muffles the “whisper” of the soul. Need to , to hear her. You need to be vigilant in life, conscious.

A conscious person is one who is guided by the soul, one who does not allow his mind to take control of him, such a person is the master of his mind, not a slave. Such a person can think, or he can forbid his mind to think and stop the flow of thoughts whenever he wants.

An unconscious person sleeps, sees nothing around him except his thoughts, which are illusions, because there is only one reality, where your body is, and your mind does not fly.

So listen to your mind less, feel your soul more, and you will be surprised how much joy and spontaneity your life will become.

Illusions that prevent you from being in contact with the soul

Spontaneity, a sign of connection with the soul. And if you listen to impulses and follow them, then if these impulses are from the heart, you, as a result, always experience joy, or gain life experience, which prepares you for future events in your life.

JOY IS THE SOUL'S WAY TO SHOUT OUT WHO I AM.

But illusions prevent us from rejoicing in the literal sense.

Examples of illusions

A man is walking down the street, it’s winter and cold all around, but with his thoughts he’s drinking hot tea at home. That's it, he is not here and now. He is in illusions, he is surrounded by the street - this is reality, the illusion is a house and a cup of tea. It’s one thing when a person chooses to think about it, but at the same time sees what is happening around him, it’s another thing when the mind itself sends pictures and a person falls into its traps, and sees nothing around him. Likewise, you can get hit by a car if someone is crossing the road at the same time; people get hit because they are in their thoughts, instead of looking around.

Be vigilant, this will not only save your life, but also strengthen your connection with your soul, you will learn to hear impulses, this is more interesting than having your head in the clouds. This is awareness. This is the ability to be spontaneous, not to sit in your head, but to emerge from it and see life around you, hear sounds and feel the world around you with your body.

The only reality is what you see, hear and feel in this moment here and now.

Spontaneity is the soul, planning is the mind

It is important to learn to enjoy life here and now, but at the same time not to live one day at a time and learn to plan. What is important here is balance, the golden mean.

The plan should always be flexible and not too tight. Understand that unforeseen situations are always possible and be prepared for them. In this way, spontaneity is intertwined with life planning. Both soul and mind are in harmonious balance. This is the best thing to strive for.

You shouldn’t go to extremes, where a person always lives according to plan, and gets nervous when something goes wrong, or when a person lives one day at a time, without thinking about tomorrow. Only balance and more balance makes life harmonious.

Conclusions on the topic “Spontaneity”:

• spontaneity comes from the soul and the closer a person is to the soul, the more pleasant unpredictability there is in him;
• spontaneity makes life more interesting, lively, colors it in bright colors;
• the mind prevents a person from connecting with his soul, the mind loves to plan everything and manage everything;
• the soul does not plan anything, it lives not in the future or past, but here and now;
• we were all children and then we didn’t plan anything, there was only a moment now and we were happy until we grew up, and until our mind became stronger, which over time began to control our lives, and the soul faded into the background;
• What is important is the balance between planning and spontaneity, between the soul and the mind, and the body will always follow either one or the other;
• a person came into this world to rejoice, and this is only possible here and now, and in illusions joy is always tomorrow or yesterday.

You can also ask all questions in the comments, which are located immediately below this article.

Actually, the only thing you need to learn seriously is spontaneity. Allow yourself to be spontaneous. What fascinates us about children? In small children, under five years old, if they are in a more or less normal environment, of course. This is precisely the spontaneity of their behavior, absolute sincerity in any manifestation. And when we become adults, we consciously come to the conclusion that only spontaneous behavior is behavior that affirms our own self-worth, self-realization in full. We try, and most of the time nothing works out. And this is where the pathology begins. In the strict sense of the word, any violation of spontaneity is a pathology. Psychopathology. We have agreed with you, I remind you again, because I know that remembering and being attentive is the most difficult thing in this body that we use in in this case the concept of "psychopathology" in the context of "psychopathology everyday life", that is, not in the medical sense of the word, but in the sense of what interferes with full self-realization, a full sense of oneself as a subject, oneself as a valuable individual.

You see now, you listen to me, so what is there to be afraid of? Look at yourself each inside and out. Which one of you is free here? Spontaneous? What kind of fear is this? And where did it come from? You owe this fear to your parents, because it was your parents who explained how to behave well and how not to behave well. They punished and rewarded. Then in kindergarten, at school and so on. And each of us knows and suspects that in general he is not what he should be. And since I’m not quite the way I should be, or not at all the way I should be, that means I have to take care of myself. Many parents have a favorite expression: “You have to take care of yourself. Why don’t you take care of yourself?” What does it mean to look after yourself? This means identifying within yourself an overseer, a controller, whatever you want to call it, who will always monitor how I behave, how I sit, how I gesticulate, how I move, and so on and so forth.

When is there anyone else to do other than yourself?

What happens? Two people met. Both yearn for live human communication, for deep mutual understanding. One tries to guess how this person wants him to behave. The second one also wants to guess. One sees: he is not behaving as he should. He looks at this: something is wrong... Do you understand?

You will tell me: “What should I do?”

Either jump into the water and swim, or walk along the shore all the time and think: “Is it decent if I swim here? Is it in this place? What will people say? Why did I suddenly jump into the water? Am I swimming in the right style?”

Did we realize that most of prohibitions have long been outdated and applied to the child, and not to us? Have we realized that, in fact, most people are deeply indifferent to how we actually behave? Because, in reality, everyone is busy with themselves and their fears. If we realize, then we will understand that we cannot want anything supernatural that someone else would not want.

You can be spontaneous and there will be no punishment. No one will deprive you of gingerbread or lock you up at home; they will let you go out for walks and allow you to go to the movies if you want.

This is a colossal source of pathology in everyday life. This pyramid of children's fears, which is still tuned to speculative concepts learned in more mature years. As soon as you look at this pyramid carefully, calmly, with adult eyes, it begins to collapse on its own.

Maybe someone wants to sleep here now. Sleep. In a state of half-asleep, the material is absorbed no worse, but even better. Because speculation turns off, it doesn’t control: what is he saying? Could it be? How should we understand this?

We have a big problem because we know how to behave. We immediately want to do free man comment. After all, we want it too, but we are afraid. Because he is a hooligan, ill-mannered, insolent. That general manner that you admire so much in foreigners is not actually spontaneous either. From our point of view, they are very free because they live in a democratic society. But spontaneity is the same problem there: if these problems did not exist, then many thousands would not be driven into stadiums to scream under the guise of listening to music.

The increasing level of neuroticism is a colossal problem in the modern city. Research data from American psychologists suggests that, despite all the differences in lifestyle and behavior, the percentage of neuroticism in England, the USA and here is almost the same. And this problem arose as a consequence of the infringement of the emotional and sensory sphere. The Japanese began to create play parks for adults, where they can be as spontaneous as possible: scream, roll in the mud, run, compete, go wall to wall. Because they really see this as a benefit for both specific person, and for business. The larger part of our life is subject to all sorts of different conventions, the more and more we will control our behavior in accordance with them, the more energy will be spent on this control, because otherwise we may be punished. A person stops believing his emotions, and even when he comes to his home, he cannot free himself from self-control, he cannot be spontaneous.

Infringement of the emotional and sensory sphere reduces vitality. And the famous paradox arises: our grandmothers are much more energetic than our grandchildren. Sometimes you look at your grandmother and admire her vivacity, activity, energy; If you look at your grandson, the old man looks like an old man.

Americans need spontaneity in order to want everything at once and not get attached to anything. You and I need spontaneity in order to really want anything. Where have you seen possessed people these days? Or lovers of God? Or Layla and Majnun? When Leila says: “I’m going to commit suicide now, this news will reach him, and he will commit suicide, and we will be happy.”

We read books written for completely different people, whose world of experiences is many times grander and stronger than the world reflections. Until the 17th century, there was no such society on Earth in which reasoning dominated over experience. It’s not real! Therefore, individual thinkers who managed to put their experiences into logical formulations amaze us to this day. Great Square, you see, has no corners! Why is he so praised? Nonsense! Lao Tzu. Or: “He who goes before me goes behind me”? What it is? What would Descartes say to this Lao Tzu about this? This is an expression of experiences, not an expression of thoughts.

They say Heraclitus founded geometry. He founded nothing; he lived in a world of experiences, with faint glimmers of rationality. You and I have been living for three hundred years in the world of rationality with faint glimpses of experience. Why are we grasping at this Zen, this Buddhism? Suffism? Hasidism? And other "isms"? Exotic. We grasp because we are looking for a world of experiences, a lost paradise. But when we grab it, what do we do with it? We try to treat this as something that can be understood. Therefore, it turns out: Nizhny Novgorod karate, Ivano-Frankivsk Buddhism, Kiev yoga, etc. Because we live with you, relying on reason, on speculation, on rational conventions, which have already become irrational, because their origin is hidden in the darkness of the subconscious. Why can't you laugh on the street? Who will explain it to me? Everyone knows what is indecent. Now explain - why?

Nobody can explain why. So I often laugh: do you think I’m crazy? And everyone always teaches me: “Of course, you are a Master, but there are people around, I’m nearby, what will they think of me?!” I stop laughing and start saying loudly, emotionally: “What is this happening?! People are dying! Neuroticization of the population!” - “Yes, you, of course, are the Master, I, of course, are your student, but please don’t!” “I am, of course, your student, but only when no one sees it!” Is this not a pathology? Is it dangerous for anyone to laugh on the street? What will collapse from this? What, will this violate traffic rules and create an emergency situation? No. But everyone knows: laughter is a mess. I came to the theater or to the cinema, well, it’s funny to me - I laugh! Nobody watches movies anymore, it’s completely uninteresting what’s going on there; I wonder why he’s the only one here who allows himself to laugh?!

You know, if anyone should have monuments erected on every corner, it’s Comrade Descartes. All over Europe. And in America. At every crossroads. Here is the leader of our civilization. What about Lenin... Lenin was a hot man, poorly brought up, and often swore obscenely. When he called Hegel an imperialist bastard, he put three exclamation marks and underlined them twice! But Descartes... Cogito ergo sum. You can smile, but only so that your teeth are not visible. “What, your teeth are ugly?” - “No, my teeth are beautiful, but indecent.” And mine are ugly, but I smile. We are laughing now with such relief, and I will see, when you leave here, how you will laugh there, in front of society!.. You see, if there is no normal, full-fledged world of experiences, if spontaneity disappears, excuse me, then even in bed with a loved one - cogito ergo sum, sorry again. It’s not for nothing that there is such a saying: “We love the truth, like our wife, only in the dark.” So that no one sees. If the Japanese solve this problem by building grandiose parks for adults. If adults watch cartoons for children!..

Where are the last reserves of spontaneity left? There are no more anywhere, we need to pump out the last ones.

How can one learn creativity? No way. Well, not necessarily such spontaneity, there are people for whom spontaneous behavior will be different. Well, so be it! Or like this!

Reason and emotionality. We have already found out that everyone is different rationally; Let's find out that emotionally we are different too! And it is not at all necessary for everyone to pretend that we are all reserved and well-mannered. Do you know what the percentage of psychogenic impotence is? Seventy. What is it like in Sweden? Eighty two. Psychogenic frigidity. In Lithuania - fifty-five, in Sweden - sixty, sixty-five. Why? Both at home and at work - there are conventions everywhere. This is a terrible price. This is a global catastrophe. And, as a consequence, this is a decline in the level of culture and art. Because it is mainly from the world of experiences. Nobody said: “I experience, therefore I exist.” Well, Buddha hinted something about this topic. But that was when it happened. And Descartes is our man, or more precisely, the image of Descartes as he was composed.

It would seem such a simple thing to understand... Until I worked with Chernobyl victims in the clinic for two years, I didn’t fully understand what was going on. Thanks to Angelina Ivanovna Nyagu, my boss, I learned that the reticular formation with the structure of the brain, which is responsible for tone, are in intimate contact. And the first violation among those same Chernobyl liquidators was a violation associated with the fact that the emotional and sensory sphere could not withstand, the world of experiences could not withstand. But experience is the basal source of knowledge. Only experience preserves the integrity of positions, the integrity of the space of consciousness, the integrity of subjective reality as such, despite the incompleteness, fragmentation, dismemberment and differentiation of logical-constructive steps.

See how the world is becoming simpler. How less and less less people who derive pleasure from empathizing with, say, Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. And more and more more people who get pleasure from empathizing with this: “My blue-eyed girl...” The impoverishment of the emotional-sensual sphere is the cause of neuroticism. The manifestation of this impoverishment: less and less spontaneity of behavior. But a decrease in spontaneity, the level of spontaneity of behavior also leads to the fact that a person is less and less aware of his self-worth. As a subject. The intrinsic value of the very fact of living. And then the person frantically begins to grab onto external signs to prove your worth to yourself, functional and social, social status, prestige, image, packaging. Some are lucky, they have very expensive, beautiful packaging, others are not. But the man is alive. And if you want to help yourself in this regard at least somehow, and if you really want to help others somehow, and if you want to get the maximum effect in mastering the method of differentiated functional states... Cunning people, they would call: " Guided meditative, transcendental, vital, astral-mental." Let's come up with some clever, beautiful trade name? Let's change the packaging, otherwise it's boring. Let's pack it in something expensive. Having linked the mastery of this technique with the problem of spontaneity, with the problem of revitalization, resuscitation of the world of experience, and not emotionalization, the concept of emotions is now at the level of average hysteria. What we call an emotion produces a sad impression on a professional. When you go to the theater, or look at the screen, or listen to such music once, you think: where can we get enough doctors to cure all these gentlemen of neurasthenia and hysteria? Then you will go to the doctors. Those who are older than me are still okay, but those who are younger are in trouble. I remember how a young employee cried for a month in our clinic. I came to the clinic, there were three of us in the department: two from the residency, one guy and she, and I, who had an indirect, to put it mildly, relation to medicine in general. And fifty people are sick. The three of us stood there for two months. We didn't have a single complaint. Only Natasha cried all these two months, and the two of us worked. There were only men there. So I advise you to dive into this problem, dive in all the ways available to you, because there are few words here, but a lot of actions. Because I don’t know about you, but I still catch myself losing spontaneity from time to time.

But we don’t catch (laughter in the audience).

I.N. - The main thing is what happens here, not words. In general, promoting a healthy lifestyle. Which? If you want to laugh, laugh, if you want to cry, cry, if you want to sit backwards, sit backwards. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, you can literally do whatever you want! This is what a healthy lifestyle is. How have I caught so many tough nomenklatura and businessmen? They feed me, they talk to me, like this: “Ha-ha-ha, Igor, ha-ha (on the shoulder)... How old are you?” I say, “I’m forty-eight.” - “Why is it so well preserved?” - he asks me, and I say: “Yes, I just laugh when I want to laugh, I cry when I want to cry. That’s all.” Do you understand? Therefore, I can withstand three days of a psychological marathon, but he cannot, he is highly regulated. Therefore, I am interested in living, but he is no longer interested. You see, for me the sun is still shining, but for him it’s already in the fog. This is the main advantage of the method of differentiated functional states. Awareness is necessary to expand the world of experience. The need to increase spontaneity in your behavior, the need to openly express emotions to expand your range.

It's really healthy image life!

Thus, today we looked at another source of “psychopathology of everyday life.” This infringement of the world of experience during the last three hundred to four hundred years of the development of civilization, this dominance of conventional behavior, which does not allow a person to manifest himself spontaneously, means it is valuable in itself. The consequences of this can be seen (I’m about to break decency) even when a person relieves himself in his toilet, covered with a hook. Check it out for yourself. And there you are not free.

Not only alone with the world, not only talking about spiritual things, but even alone with ourselves - we are not spontaneous. That’s why it’s so difficult to understand what impulse is, what the moment of truth is, what resonance is. I heard so much, even from my closest students, what it is that if I had held back my laughter, I would have burst from these versions long ago.

Igor Nikolaevich, is it possible to spiritual path in a short skirt?

I.N. - A short skirt is very comfortable. On the spiritual path - wonderful! And without pants - you know how convenient it is. I remember I worked in Vilnius at a summer camp, and for two months I never put on pants, I was in swimming trunks all the time. And how it worked! Spontaneously!

Sometimes it makes sense to grab yourself by the hair and pull yourself out of the swamp, and sometimes even shocking behavior, if you realize why you are doing it and understand that this is a temporary measure, is good. Then you will find a measure for this, in any case, sometimes there is some meaning in shocking. I have a memory that I am proud of. I was the son of a prosecutor railway, and the friend is the son of the director of the university library, a professor. What we were doing. We stole flowers. Not from private individuals, but from the state. When he and I were crawling on Lenin Square, who in Vilnius looked at the KGB, and pointed with his hand to the conservatory (now he is no longer there), and cut roses with scissors, and the police, the KGB, walked around with scissors, these roses, fifty six pieces, as I remember now, and all this risk in order to enter the next day in the middle of the dance, during a pause, girls on one side, boys on the other, at my school to throw these roses at my feet to a good person. And what’s interesting is that not a single person remembered this later, not even in hints, neither teachers, nor students, neither while I was at school, nor later, when I went to evening school.

Not a single person reminded me of this event with a single hint. I realized when I became a psychologist - on this day. Because I saw that it was possible to do an act about which, without any effort on my part, not a single person would ever say a word to me in my life.

It was the eighth grade, in the city of Vilnius, in the privileged eighth grade high school. And how many times I later attended alumni meetings, among my teachers and classmates - no one reminded me either the next day or ten years later. What did I do? Think about it. Yurka opened the door with his foot, I came in with such a bouquet of roses, no one knew that I was cutting them on Lenin Square. I approached her, and not to my beloved, but to a friend whom I had accidentally offended. And the man is crippled, you understand, I was just thinking of asking for an apology, so I decided in this way. He walked across the entire hall and said: “Sorry!” He threw the flowers, turned around and left. Everyone felt like they were taking water in their mouths. So much for psychology. After all, he and I set up our fathers, with their entire careers! Accidental survivors of Stalin's terror. And themselves. For what? For these fifty-six roses?

For what? - I asked myself today. For the feeling of freedom. We wanted to - and we did it. Maybe that’s why we had a little less social, initial fear than our other peers. You know, maybe because we interpreted the position of our fathers so wrongly. They thought that nothing would happen to them! Naively! This is shocking, of course, this is a completely stupid risk from a rational point of view, but from the point of view of experience... You also need to think about what is stronger - an orgasm or this. You see, we were raised in our former state, and throughout our entire civilization, from the position of a warrior. From the battle position. We are fighting nature, we are conquering it, we are on par with the capitalists. We simply forgot that, as my not very favorite writer Alexei Maksimovich Gorky said: “Man is born for happiness, like a bird for flight.” That is, it seems to be inherent to him. Where did the holiday go? Why is everyone so worried? Why are we taught to treat everything with some kind of painful seriousness? Moreover, we were convinced that this is the attitude that is serious! But this is all untrue. A manic state does not mean a state of seriousness, just as a state of drug excitement does not mean a state of fun and relaxation. We have lost the sense of partnership, first of all with ourselves. I always say: if a person is not happy about the fact that he lives, what can he be happy about?

The level of celebration is possible only under one condition. The holiday is here, it’s nearby, you don’t need anything special for it. As soon as you admit that you are valuable in yourself, on your own, without any proposed circumstances. Self-worth because you are human body because you are alive. Because you want and you don't want. Because if you want, you think, but if you want, you don’t think. You are the person. The image of humanity. And there are people around. But this is great luck! Great luck!

So let us rejoice, man!