A bad streak in life: what to do and how to survive troubles? How to survive adversity. Stages of experiencing psychological trauma

“Man is created for happiness, like a bird for flight” - these words of Vladimir Korolenko reflect the desire of every person, and all humanity, to be loved, successful, happy. But it happens that, despite all the efforts and efforts, nothing works out. Failures simply haunt you, and happiness bypasses you. And then we say: There is nothing to be done - a dark streak has come.

What to do if there is a black streak in life, is it possible to get rid of it? Let's try to find the answers together.

Why did this happen to me?

We often hear the phrase that a person’s life is like a zebra and black and white stripes alternate in it. Yes, this is true, life cannot consist only of happiness and pleasures, there are sorrows and hardships in it. Only some endure them steadfastly and courageously, while others experience a long, never-ending black streak.

What is this black streak in life?

Usually a black streak is a series of unfortunate and tragic events. These could be illnesses and financial problems, disagreements with loved ones and relatives, career failures.

It should be noted that the black bars are different for everyone. And they depend, first of all, on the character and outlook on life of each person.

For some, unhappy love and separation from a loved one become a black streak, while others curse fate because of a broken nail.

But it still happens that failures come in succession and, despite all efforts, it is not possible to correct the situation. Analyze the reasons for what is happening and answer the questions: Why did a dark streak come in my life? Why did this happen to me? Don't lie to yourself and answer honestly. Once you receive truthful and frank answers to this question, you will understand how to proceed.

The reasons for persistent failures may be:

1. Cataclysms, catastrophes, incidents in society and nature beyond your control and those of your loved ones. These are wars, crises, fires, earthquakes, floods. A personal disaster could be a burned down house, a stolen car, loss loved one. No one is immune from these incidents. They affect a large number of people. Therefore, the best way out of such a situation would be, together with other victims, to look for the path of least losses. Mutual help and support will help cope with despair and depression;
2. You were too careless, inattentive to loved ones or work. Spending little time with your loved one or family. The result is quarrels and breakups, problems at work, and so on. You must honestly admit that you yourself are the creator of your dark streak. Therefore, it is up to you to correct the situation. Try to calm down and pull yourself together. Do not blame your loved ones and do not sort things out. If you think you have been unfairly offended, tell the offender calmly and frankly. Don't plot behind your back. This will only make the situation worse;
3. Your ill-wishers are doing everything to harm you. After assessing the situation, decide which way out is more suitable for you: put up, fight or retreat. If you decide to make peace, then take the first step towards your ill-wisher. Find out the reason negative attitude to you. Perhaps your conflict will be settled, you will become friends and stop harming each other. When you decide to fight, be prepared for a fair fight. Act only according to the law and conscience. This will give you confidence in your abilities and create the right emotional mood. Be prepared to overcome setbacks with calm and resilience. If you choose the path of retreat, remember that it is not always a loss. Very often it is much more important to save peace of mind and a healthy psyche than to bring the conflict to an end.

A dark streak has come in my life. When will it end?

The black streak in life will definitely end and a white streak will come. Joyful and happy. When this happens is up to you. After analyzing the reasons for failures, immediately begin to act.

Some psychologists advise on how to get rid of a bad streak in life, give free rein to your emotions and cry. Follow this advice. Just don't shed tears for too long. Remember the wonderful Russian proverb: tears cannot help grief.

Having received emotional release, calm down and act.

1. Assess how irreversible the consequences of the current situation are. Is it possible to
   to correct. When you realize that all is not lost, immediately begin to correct the situation. Assess your capabilities realistically and try to avoid adventurous and ill-considered decisions;
2. Try to understand what loss in your life is an irrevocable loss and what remains with you. This is the love of family and friends, the respect of colleagues, life experience and education, health. Not so little to continue life;
3. Take a look around. Perhaps there is a person next to you who is much worse off. Help him. Emotional satisfaction from doing a good deed will help you create positive attitude, it is easier to endure the adversities that befall you.

In order to survive a bad period in life, follow these tips:

• Admit that something bad happened to you. Do not hide the problem, first of all from yourself.
  Tell about it to those people who are close to you and can help. This applies, first of all, to a situation where you are seriously ill. The sooner you recognize the problem and begin treatment, the greater the chances of recovery;
• Don't let despair take over you. Do not panic! Hysteria is the worst way out of this situation. Remain calm and soberly assess what happened. This will allow you to find more positive solutions to the problem;
• Don't refuse help. Accept help from loved ones, relatives, friends, and sometimes strangers. Think that they understand and feel sorry for you. Pity in in this case, not humiliation, but a feeling of compassion. Respond with gratitude;
• Seek support in your faith and beliefs. If you are a believer, go to church, pray, talk to the priest. If you love to read, re-read a book that made an impression on you. Do charity work. Help people or homeless animals, plant a tree or flowers.

What you need to do every day to survive troubles

Try to do these actions daily:

• Smile in front of the mirror, even if you want to cry. Smile forcefully - you will notice that it has become easier;
• Lead internal dialogue. In the evening before going to bed, tell yourself what you achieved during the day, what you did to correct the situation. Praise yourself for your successes;
• Be curious. Try to learn something new every day. Be interested in people who have been in the same situation as you;
• Get yourself one four-legged friend. Caring for and communicating with an animal is the best cure for depression;
• Don't try to be in noisy companies. It won't help. But don't give up communicating with friends. Visit museums, walk in nature, invite friends for tea.

Yes, life really is striped like a zebra. But it is within our power to make the black stripes smaller than the white ones. Always believe in yourself and take action!

The work comes with many challenges. Troubles can occur due to the fault of one employee or the entire team. Depending on the complexity of the offense, management determines the punishment.

An increased reaction to an offense reduces a person’s ability to work

Failures at work need to be perceived correctly. Excess stress and nervousness will reduce the employee’s ability to work and turn his work into a real punishment.

Part of the workflow

Troubles at work are a normal occurrence that cannot be avoided. Difficulties occur regardless of the competence, qualifications and abilities of the employee. The greater the responsibility of an employee, the greater the likelihood that his work will be associated with difficulties. The ability to overcome problems is appreciated by superiors. If a person professionally performs his duties, but does not show himself in critical situations, he is not in danger of being promoted.

Psychologists advise: “find a job where the problems are worth the success.”

If a person enjoys the work process, troubles must be perceived as his integral part. Such a person must solve his problems without persuasion or additional prerequisites - overcoming difficulties is his direct responsibility. From a psychological point of view, fear of difficulties depends on personal qualities person: the faster he gets rid of the panic that problems cause, the faster he will take control of life into his own hands.

Correct Perception

Don't delay solving the problem

Any conflict situations- this is a test for nervous system. A person is unable to completely abstract himself from the current situation. The employee's reaction is always indicative: strong personality tries to solve the problem as soon as possible, but the weak one delays the moment when she will have to take responsibility for what happened.

Problems at work determine the employee’s composure. Reactions to difficult situations:

• panic speaks of the employee’s uncertainty and low self-esteem;
• indifference indicates that the employee is not serious about his work and his obligations;
• avoidance of solving problems indicates low stress resistance of the employee;
• composure is the quality of a professional who is ready to admit mistakes and solve them.

The employee's first reaction is to defend himself. The weaker the person, the less he participates in the current situation. Disengagement, the decision to shift the problem to another person indicates the lack of qualifications of the employee. His fear is caused not so much by a mistake as by his own inadequacy.

If composure is not given by birth, then a person learns to concentrate on important tasks and avoid panic. Such skills are important for every person who wants to achieve success in their chosen field.

Degree of responsibility

If you work hard, you can get ahead career ladder, get a high salary and prospects. Hard work brings not only benefits, but also great responsibility. If the mistakes of an ordinary employee are not assessed so seriously, then the mistakes of higher-ranking employees are a reason for punishment and investigation.

The first characteristic of a responsible employee is the ability to take responsibility. If problems occur because of subordinates, the boss is obliged to take the entire blow upon himself: he is fully responsible for the work group. It is dangerous to evade responsibility - this will ruin the employee’s business reputation, and even after leaving work, he will not be able to get a new job. Serious companies do not need employees who are not aware of their duties and responsibilities.

Interaction with colleagues

Don’t start a conflict in the team - help the employee who made a mistake

If a problem occurs in a team, it also needs to be resolved together. There is no need to look for someone to blame: the first thing they do is look for the mistake and the reasons why it was made. Quarrels and conflicts in the team create the wrong atmosphere in which it is impossible to continue productive work.

The problem is searched for:

• by senior management who are unbiased and fair;
• without unauthorized punishment of the perpetrator;
• without stopping the work of the entire working group;
• in a calm atmosphere.

The team must maintain normal relations until the problem is resolved. Quarrels will only harm a group of employees who are trying to resolve the current situation without losses for the company.

It is necessary to support an employee who has made a mistake - no one is immune from the problem. The trouble will end, but relationships in the team will remain: it is in the interests of employees to avoid protracted conflicts.

Solving the problem

To solve problems, their root cause is determined. This is a factor that needs to be avoided in the future. Problems that arise are resolved by the boss or the person directly responsible for the situation. If the problem has consequences for the company, the responsible employee is responsible for eliminating them.

The whole team is involved in solving a complex problem. The faster the mistake is eliminated, the easier it will be working group will return to its previous mode. It is important not to make the culprit seem like an outcast. A friendly and calm atmosphere should remain among employees.

Stress management

Difficulties are a reason for stress. The employee does not want the situation to repeat itself and resists it. He is afraid to experience difficulties again, avoiding responsibility. A person under stress is unable to objectively assess what is happening.

Behavior of an employee who is stressed due to troubles:

• aggression;
• obsessive state;
• hysterics;
• panic attacks.

Working on yourself will help you overcome stress. Increasing stress resistance and the ability to forgive mistakes will allow you to endure difficulties without harm to your health. The employee should not dwell on what happened - the problem is only a temporary task that needs to be solved without unnecessary emotions.

The employee’s mood determines the speed of his reaction. If he cannot cope with internal experiences, for panic attack Any trivial reason will do. It is necessary to strengthen your own character in order to ensure a calm future without prolonged stress and depression.

Increasing stress resistance

To increase mental stability, the employee changes his own thinking. His attitude towards difficulties (at work or in his personal life) is formed in early childhood: during this period, the child studies the world and forms an idea about it. If in adult life Such concepts interfere with solving problems and must be eradicated.

New hobbies or group activities can help combat stress. Dating allows a person to escape and take a break from the hustle and bustle of work. Yoga or meditation helps a lot - such techniques clear your thoughts and calm you down. A person must learn to separate work and personal space, otherwise internal tension cannot be avoided.

Increasing self-esteem helps individuals who avoid responsibility. They do not believe in themselves, they do not believe that they are capable of solving such a problem. How more people studies, gains skills in his chosen profession, the easier it is for him to navigate during problems in the workplace.

How to calm down

You can calm your nerves with simple breathing exercises. This technique helps dull the body's acute reactions that arise due to stress. Breathing exercises stop panic attacks that a person cannot control.

The essence of breathing exercises is deep breathing and its alternate delay. For breathing exercises Any secluded place where no one will disturb the employee will do. The exercise lasts no more than 5–10 minutes. Starting position - sitting or standing: a person takes three deep breaths, then holds his breath for 2-3 seconds. After this, you need to exhale and breathe calmly. The exercise is repeated until breathing and heartbeat normalize.

Conclusion

Work troubles are a normal occurrence that you don’t need to be afraid of. The employee must be ready to solve them without harm to his psyche.

The support of the team and an objective assessment of your own actions will help you overcome difficulties. To increase stress resistance, it is necessary to change thinking and learn the business that a person is engaged in.

Each of us may experience a “dark streak” in life, when it seems that everything can’t get worse. Sometimes it’s one thing - misfortune or illness, separation from a loved one, financial troubles... And sometimes troubles fall on us like from a sieve, and all at the same time... How to cope with such a situation? Here are the methods you can use.

Don't focus on the negative

Yes, now everything is bad, and it seems to you that nothing good awaits you in the future. But if you think like that, you'll never get out of it. difficult situation. Try to remember from your life, distract yourself with something, be kinder to others. This will help you change your mind and move on.

Talk about what happened

Many people try to keep pain and grief to themselves so as not to be considered weak and so as not to annoy others with their problems. But as long as you hide your true feelings and emotions, your emotional wounds will not heal.

It is not necessary to tell everyone you meet and cross about what happened to you. There is an opportunity - go to an appointment with a psychologist or psychotherapist. No - take a notebook or piece of paper and write everything down. Describe not only the events, but also what you feel. If the situation has caused you severe stress If you're hurting, admit it.

Make these notes many times if necessary. And reread it every time. Gradually you will feel that mental confusion dissolves and the pain goes away.

Don't be shy about asking for real help. Each of us can find ourselves in difficult situations, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Also, do not refuse support if it is offered to you. There is no need to perform an act of heroism by coping with life's difficulties alone.

Get rid of attachment

Often we worry about people or things that we have lost or are afraid of losing. It is for this reason that we worry for years about lost expensive jewelry, cling to outdated relationships and cannot start new ones, which is why people who have passed away occupy such an important place in our lives. We can cling to work, money, home... But believe me, in reality it may not be that important at all!

Why regret something that is already lost or leaving your life? It's better to go towards something new.

Get rid of

Very often we begin to blame ourselves for making mistakes and as a result everything ended so badly. Or someone around us is deliberately trying to make us feel guilty.

Even if you realize that you are truly at fault, be sure to try to forgive yourself. Stop focusing on your mistakes, it won't help improve the situation.

Focus on Action

If something goes wrong, there is no point in feeling sorry for yourself. We need to look for a way out of the situation. The main thing is not to sit idly by. Do at least something, even if you are not sure of a positive result. Is someone seriously ill? Find a good doctor. Got fired? Look for a new place. No money? Look for new sources of income or where you can borrow. Have you been abandoned? Don't be afraid to make new friends and relationships!

Don't worry if you don't get everything right the first time. Continue to act, and sooner or later the situation will move from a dead point.

Give justice to your desires

When we are in a difficult situation, we often do not allow ourselves to relax and ignore what we want in this moment. We don’t allow ourselves to buy a new dress or sit in a cafe because someone close to us is sick, the loan is overdue, or our personal life is in complete disarray...

Satisfy own desires at least in small things. Indulge in some new clothes, a cup of aromatic tea, a hot bath or reading interesting book before bedtime. It is unlikely that this will cause serious damage to the situation, but it will give you new strength.

Try to transform your life

If it is difficult for you to adapt to, do it using “artificial” techniques. Read articles and books about people who found themselves in difficult situations at one time, but were later able to achieve success. You can hang posters in your room with thoughts that inspire you, such as sayings famous people. Attend trainings personal growth. All this will push you to change your life for the better.

Believe that bad things will pass

Nothing lasts forever in this life. Sooner or later everything will settle down, the situation will change one way or another, at least it will no longer look so hopeless. Perhaps you just need to wait out this unfavorable period.

Life can be different. Sometimes the contrast of its white and black stripes is so great that considerable health and patience are required to overcome the vicissitudes of fate. It’s even more difficult when the white stripes are noticeably narrower than the black ones. Some people endure this as the will of God: they accept trials and humbly suffer. Others, worrying even more, tear out their hair with the thoughts “why me and why should I do this.” Ups and downs are inevitable. A clear head, an outside perspective and an easy perception of life will not hurt anyone. WITHstrength of spirit, endurance - qualities of people whom life has already battered and hardened by turmoil. And because of this, they already have their own protective shell, a callus against trouble. But there is also an innate ability to be persistent. However, there are often people who don’t mind making mountains out of molehills and start worrying about trifles. There is an esoteric rule: if a person suffers, it means he is doing “the wrong thing” or “the wrong thing.” Not what he needs or not as much as it should be.But first things first.

In order to get out of an unpleasant situation correctly, you need to look it in the face, in order to save your nerves - you need to treat everything more simply. It would seem that everything is already clear. But it’s difficult to remember all this when you find yourself in trouble, and even more difficult to respond adequately to it.

Everything passes. This too shall pass

In times of seeming hopelessness, you need to remember the golden words on Solomon’s ring that everything is temporary: “Everything passes and this will pass.” Is it worth killing yourself and wasting your nerves on something that will forever dissolve in the past?

The ability to see yourself from the outside

Our life is a game and theater. And, being in the center of events, allow yourself to go to auditorium and watch this performance through the eyes of the viewer. Seeing the situation and yourself in it is very effective method for objectivity of assessment and self-soothing. Sometimes we are so immersed in our emotions that own vision The picture may be very different from what it really is. Try on the roles of other people and look at the situation through their eyes. Step away from yourself for a while and review the rules and positions of the game.

Do not think about it!

In unpleasant situations where intervention in the problem is required, the “mindless action” method helps. Try not to think if you know that thinking will upset you. Just take action and transfer the energy of your thoughts into what you do in currently what you need to do.

90% of problems are solved on their own, the remaining 10% are not solved at all. You can do nothing at all, but let everything take its course. In most cases, you just have to wait for things to work themselves out. But this is not always the solution. Therefore, it is worth remembering another ancient maxim: “do what you must and come what may,” and not just remember, but follow it. Such internal position helps to overcome problems with minimal nerves and the highest possible result.

Anecdote on the topic:

Lecture by psychology professor:
– Colleagues, remember the two golden rules of psychotherapy!
Rule one. Minor worries are nothing.
Rule two. All worries are minor.

Every cloud has a silver lining

Dale Carnegie advised us to turn lemons into lemonade by mixing the negatives to get the positives out of them. Every situation has its advantages. And even if it's just yours personal experience– that’s already enough. As I said Arthur Schopenhauer: “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” Embrace life in all its manifestations! Ultimately, it all comes down to the ability to accept your fate and perceive life as it is, and not expect it to live up to our expectations of it. Passing another life test, we move to a higher level in our personal development. We are our own artists and we can not only set the color palette, but also choose the subject of the painting, covering up the dark stripes.

Using materials

Don’t be so quick to call your situation a crisis: “crisis” is just the “C” word. What you have - serious trouble, depression, personal or some other crisis - still needs to be figured out. Yes, these are all less than pleasant things, but these are different things, and if you want to get through this with less pain, faster and easier, figure out what is happening to you.

See: Personality crises. Middle age crisis. Depression

Perhaps you still have a crisis - personal or age-related. There’s nothing wrong with that, you need to change, and that’s normal: your car also needs to change its oil once a year. If you are stuck, have lost your bearings, but your head is in place and your soul is generally in order - so far everything is in order. If you realized that you were developing in the wrong direction, you can be glad that it has finally become clear. Now you can adjust your life path and move on cheerfully.

Why cheerful? - Why else?

If a personal crisis has developed into a mental, psychological crisis, then do not rush to worry, do not rush to emotional conclusions.

A crisis is not a disaster

Even if you are in serious trouble, it is not a disaster. There is nothing absolutely good or bad in the world. Only we ourselves label events: “Bad”, “Good”.

Summer rain becomes “terrible” if it fell when a girl went to the theater without an umbrella, but it can turn into “romantic” if the same downpour forces her to hide with her loved one under a canopy in the park. But in fact, rain is just water, and only we ourselves color it black and pink.

If you think that everything is wrong with you and everything is absolutely terrible for you, talk to smart people. They will look at you with sadness and, if you ask them, they will tell you much worse situations. Disasters happen, but you probably haven’t encountered them yet. Note that the most terrible disasters- temporary phenomena. Everything happened, everything happens, and life goes on after that.

In any case, it is not the situation itself that upsets you, but the way you perceive it. Calm, reasonable and active person I would have treated her differently. How? — Good question. Ask yourself this.

You need to get out of trouble

If you are in serious trouble, you need to get out of it. The only person who will get you out of this situation is you. Yes? Start thinking about what to do now. Why this happened and what conclusions need to be drawn - you also need to think about this, but later. Now we just need to get out of the current situation difficult situation. Your most the main task- think about how you will get out now. What to do. You need a plan. At least the simplest things that you can do yourself here and now.

Bring yourself to your senses

We don’t know what’s in your soul - confusion or anger, resentment or just a gray veil - in any case, you need to bring yourself to your senses. If you were not prepared for a situation and it hit you, this happens. If you fall into emotions and difficult feelings, this is normal, anyone can fall - now it is important to get up faster.

• If you continue to worry, ask yourself the question - why?

This is very important question. Almost without exception, people worry only when they allow themselves to do so and when a person needs it for some reason. If suddenly a real catastrophe happens now, a huge black wall begins to rise above your city, from which everyone needs to be saved immediately, then if there is at least something dear to you, you will rush to save it. And you will have no time for your worries. You want to worry, and you do. Fine. Not for long - it's possible. But figure out within yourself when you will stop doing this.

• Fix your brains

People get upset for a long time when they continue to poison their souls and convince themselves that everything is terrible. You can continue to do this and continue to be in crisis, or you can gradually improve your brains. Start reminding yourself that there is a way out of every situation. That the one who walks will master the road. Taking one step each time, you can walk a thousand miles... - Think about what you need to remind yourself, write it on pieces of paper, hang it in a visible place (or better in several places) and start repeating it like a prayer.

• Get help and support for yourself

In many situations, you can turn to those who can help you. Who can help you? There are smart people, there are strong people, there are just your friends. Yes, you can handle everything yourself, but good help and support will not hurt anyone. Think about where and how you organize help and support for yourself?

• Create a healthy environment for yourself

If you are depressed and stare at one point, it can make you go crazy and... healthy man. If you don't walk and just lie down, you start to get sour simply because you lie down and don't walk. Think about what you can do to make the situation around you bring you to your senses, and begin to organize it for yourself. Walk! walk! walk!

When you come to your senses...

When you come to your senses, take care of prevention. The wisest Taoist may not be able to get out of a deep pit with steep walls, but wise Taoists simply do not fall into such pits. In life reasonable people troubles do not happen often, but crises never happen. Neither age-related nor personality crises happen to a prepared person. See>