In Orthodoxy, the third, ninth, fortieth day after death, as well as the anniversary, are considered sacred days. Each of these days is given special significance, and in order to facilitate the afterlife of a person, it is customary to hold funeral services on these dates.

To correctly calculate the day of the funeral, you need to take the day of death as the first day and add the required number to it. You should not do arithmetic addition, because simply adding will result in an incorrect number. For example: someone who died on January 1 should be commemorated not on January 10 (1+9), but on January 9.

Some may confuse the traditional and church days, which begin after the evening service, and then those who died in the morning and late evening of the same day may appear to have died in different days. The generally accepted tradition is to rely on the astronomical day, when it does not matter whether death occurred during the day or before midnight.

If you yourself find it difficult to accurately calculate the dates on which the commemoration falls, you will definitely come to the rescue. For churchgoers, it would be natural to address this question to their priest.

When are funerals held?

On the day of the funeral, and in Orthodoxy it must coincide with the third day after death, the first wake is held, and they are also considered the most massive. A memorial meal should not be confused with simple friendly or family gatherings, although the composition of the participants will be approximately the same. Funeral participants, those who knew the deceased closely, after the burial are invited to participate in the funeral feast.

Many centuries ago, it was customary to gather at the table not relatives, but beggars, because they themselves could not take care of their daily bread. The Church teaches that commemoration should be done in a circle religious people, precisely from common prayer will be good for the soul of the deceased.

The third day from the moment of death is considered the last when the soul of the deceased is in his home, next to his family. It is believed that after this her wanderings begin, first through heaven, until the ninth day, and until the fortieth day through hell.

During life, a person can perform righteous deeds and, of course, sin. But he will no longer be able to atone for his sins after death; only his loved ones can help him in this world. For this, it is useful to read prayers to show the right path for the soul of the deceased, which at first is in confusion without a body. It is customary to distribute the things of the deceased to those in need, give alms, and also organize memorial dinners.

The third day's funeral is usually held in a cafe or restaurant, but its design should be as laconic as possible. There should be no flashy colors in the decoration of the room, fancy table settings and too much gourmet dishes. Recommended for the feast are traditional Russian dishes that are easy to prepare: cabbage soup, noodles, pies and jelly. Mandatory funeral dishes are pancakes with honey and kutia (sweet porridge), which have auspicious symbolism. It is not customary to stay late during a funeral dinner, as well as to drink alcohol or sing songs, except those appropriate for the occasion.

What to say at a wake

One person takes on the responsibilities of a steward; he must give everyone who comes the opportunity to speak. It is customary to stand up, address those present, and briefly state who you were with the deceased. Then briefly, in a few words, outline its strongest influence on you, illustrating with a vivid example.

It is worth being correct in assessing the character or actions of the deceased; you need to talk about him only in a positive way. Not counted positive features the stinginess or naivety of the deceased can be diplomatically called financial literacy and an open heart. After speaking about what we should learn from the deceased, we should say that he will always live in our hearts. If the funeral speech is interrupted by tears, the director should quickly stop them with words of consolation.

It is customary to pray at the beginning of a meal and when changing dishes. In general, from a church point of view, the best remembrance is considered to be turning to God. Immediately after death, you should read the Sequence, the Psalter at home, and order memorial services in the church. On the third day, the funeral service takes place, and then it is customary to order Sorokoust, so that every day prayers are read for the soul of the deceased.

On the ninth day, it is customary to bake funeral pies and go to church and the cemetery with relatives. It is recommended to light a candle for repose, pray and give alms. It is believed that on this day the soul ends its journey in heaven and descends to Hell.

Days of commemoration

On the fortieth day, relatives, friends, colleagues, and neighbors of the deceased gather at the funeral table. On this day they also go to church. It is believed that on the fortieth day the fate of the deceased is determined, and his soul is sent either to Heaven or to Hell to await the Last Judgment.

According to Christian canons, it is customary to commemorate dead people on the 3, 9 and 40 days after death. Besides, in church calendar indicated special days remembrance of the dead. Particular ritual significance is attached to the ninth day after death. According to tradition, on this day the relatives and friends of the deceased gather and remember him life path and they say kind words about him.

Calculating the exact date of the funeral

In order not to make a mistake, you need to count exactly 9 days from the moment of a person’s death, including the day of death itself. This also applies to cases where death occurred late in the evening or even at night, before midnight. For example, death occurred on March 2. Ninth day in in this case- not March 11, as would have happened with arithmetic addition (that is, 2 + 9 = 11), but March 10, including the day of death.

Examples:

What to do on the ninth day after death?

Funeral table

The funeral table on day 9 traditionally includes pies, pancakes, buns and baked goods in general. We should not forget about kutya. But you can completely give up alcoholic drinks on day 9. It is better to pay special attention to funeral speeches. The more kind words are said about the deceased, about his good deeds during life, the better his soul will be. Orthodox teachings interpret the posthumous state of soul as preparation for the afterlife within 40 days after death. Day 9, according to the canons, is the last day of the soul’s stay in heaven, and the rest of the time until the end of 40 days the soul will be in hell. Therefore, all the kind words spoken at the funeral table addressed to the deceased will be credited to him and will ease the burden of being in a place of suffering for sinners.

Visit to the church and cemetery

In the morning, before the wake, you are supposed to light a candle in the church and read a funeral prayer for the deceased servant of God (name). On this day, the poor are given alms, given prosphora, cookies or buns, asking them to remember the name of the deceased person in prayers. After visiting the church, you need to visit the grave, leaving a treat there too. You can leave cookies, sweets at the cemetery, sprinkle kutya or millet for birds.

What else can you do on day 9?

Hanging mirrors in the deceased's home is not prescribed Orthodox rite. However, this tradition has been ingrained since ancient times. If the mirrors were hung at the time of death, on the 9th day the veils can be removed in all rooms except the room of the deceased, where they must be left until the end of 40 days.

It is a centuries-old tradition to organize a wake for the relatives, friends and relatives of the deceased.

It is a mistake to think that people are only going to eat delicious food on this day. The purpose of the mournful event is to honor good memory about the deceased, a prayer for the repose of his soul. In order to get rid of unnecessary hassle in the kitchen during these difficult days, many people prefer to organize meals in a canteen, cafe or restaurant.

Funeral service for 9 days after death

Every person faces the death of loved ones, but not everyone knows how to organize a wake for 9 days. On this day, it is not customary to call guests to the table; friends and relatives of the deceased come to the funeral of their own free will. They usually inquire in advance about the time and location of the event. That is why the meal on this day is popularly called uninvited. To drive away from the table a person who has come to honor the memory of the deceased, but for some reason is disliked by the “owners” of the sad holiday, is not only unacceptable, but also sinful. It is necessary to treat and remind about the prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased as soon as possible more people, so that the soul of the deceased has an easier road to the heavenly abodes. On this day, you should not forget about the needy and poor people, distribute refreshments to everyone you meet.

Rules of conduct during funerals

How to behave during a funeral meal:

• remember the good deeds that the deceased did during his lifetime;
• in moments specially designated for general prayer, pray together with those present;
• you cannot cry, grieve, show your pain and sorrow - this is one of the mortal sins in Orthodoxy, meaning denial of faith;
• You cannot talk loudly, laugh, it is advisable to turn off or switch to silent mode mobile phones;
• in case of incorrect actions of any of those present, it is necessary to remind the person about the proper manner of behavior and how the wake is held on the 9th day after the repose: all thoughts must be concentrated on the person whose memory is dear;
• Moderation should be observed during the meal, starting with traditional funeral treats.

Refreshment at the wake

Gathered at the table, it is customary to read the funeral prayer or Our Father. After reading, each of the guests puts kutya on a plate. This ritual dish is prepared from boiled whole grains of rice or wheat mixed with honey and raisins. It is customary to consecrate the dish in advance in the church, but if it is not possible to perform this action, then the kutya should be sprinkled with holy water three times. After kutya, it is customary to eat pancakes or pancakes. There is some symbolism in this sequence: the grain represents the ability of life to be reborn and multiplied, and the circle of the pancake is a symbol of the sun, “dying” at sunset and being reborn at dawn.

• First meal. According to tradition, guests are treated to chicken soup with noodles, borscht, beetroot soup, solyanka.
• Second courses. Porridge with meat or fish, goulash or roast, mashed potatoes, cutlets, fried liver, pilaf.
• Snacks. Assorted meat, fish or vegetables, pickles, salads, vinaigrette, stuffed egg halves, jellied meat or aspic, pies with a variety of fillings.
• Third courses. Most often, guests are offered jelly, fruit compote, fruit juice, and honey-based drinks.

The presence of strong drinks at the funeral table is not welcome. But contrary to tradition, many ignore this rule, citing the fact that alcohol helps relieve stress. But at the same time, its use promotes inappropriate fun. Guests are usually offered cognac, vodka and sweet wines.

How funerals are held for 9 days during Orthodox Lent

IN fast days adjustments are being made to the menu. Meat dishes It is customary to replace it with fish, for example: cold fish appetizers, herring, sprats, fish pies. It is recommended to serve vegetable and mushroom salads, bean and lentil soup, vegetable pilaf, stewed potatoes with mushrooms, cabbage or carrot cutlets.

What to wear to a wake

When going to the nine-day celebration, it is important to think about your appearance and how to dress for the 9 days of the memorial. You need to look simple, without any special frills, but with dignity:

• Men must be bareheaded. A dark suit and a light shirt, and a tie of subdued colors are preferred.
• Women should give up bouffant hairstyles and preferably cover their heads with a headscarf or headscarf. Bright, colorful clothes are unacceptable. It is recommended to wear a dark closed dress or a classic-style suit.
• Children. Clothing should be kept in a relaxed style.

Commemorating the memory of the deceased is a responsible mission. It is important to say goodbye with all your heart to a person who has left the earthly world forever and leave in your memory only the good moments of his life.

How to remember for 9 days? What should you do and what shouldn't you do? This is discussed in detail in the article. Body, soul and spirit are all creations of God. If the first is of a temporary nature, then the rest live forever. Today we will talk about why they commemorate on the 9th day, why they do it. The ground rules will also be presented. of this event, describes how to organize everything correctly, when and where.

Of course, an important ritual that helps the dead pass on to another world is the wake on the 9th day.

Where is the soul after a person has died?

According to Orthodox canons, it is believed that the soul of the newly deceased does not depart as intended by God on the day of death. For another 40 days after it leaves the body, the soul remains on earth. During this period, relatives pray for the deceased. The 3rd, 9th and 40th days are celebrated in a special way.

Why do this? Why are they commemorated on the 9th and 40th day? The meaning of commemorations these days is to pray for the deceased before God. Note that 9 is sacred number. After a person has died, his body rests covered with earth. At the same time, the soul continues to wander around the Earth.

What happens on the 9th day? Afterlife starts from the first day. On the 3rd day, the soul of the deceased leaves his native walls. During this period, she goes on a 9-day walk. During these six days she goes through a special journey. IN given time she is preparing for a personal meeting with the Almighty. On the 40th day the journey ends.

Why is it remembered on the 9th day after death? These events help the deceased to stand before the throne of God, the Judge, with fear and trembling. Let us note that in God's hierarchy the angels have their own ranks. After a 9-day stay on the posthumous path, the choice of angels ends. They act as defenders (lawyers) in God's court. Each of them will ask God for mercy. At the same time, he will be provided with evidence of the righteous life of a person who died 9 days ago.

The first three days after death, when the soul is still near the living, a guardian angel stays next to it. The soul enters heaven for dating on the fourth day. While the verdict has not yet been pronounced, everyone finds themselves in heavenly spaces. This is done so that the soul has the opportunity to rest from the pain that haunted it on earth. All the sins of the deceased are also shown.

Meaning of 9 days

As you understand, angels bring the deceased to the throne of God. After a conversation with the Almighty, the soul goes to hell. This decision is not final. We can say that the soul goes there for acquaintance. During such a journey, various difficult obstacles arise in front of the deceased (more precisely, his soul). He must pass all the tests. Their difficulty depends entirely on the temptations encountered along the way.

Those souls who have been able to show that good triumphs over evil can expect a change of heart at God's judgment. It is very likely that they can count on forgiveness.

What is the importance of the 9th day? The fact is that the deceased has not yet been determined on his path. The memories of relatives, as well as their prayers, will provide undeniable help to the deceased. The memory of good deeds the deceased, about his life and forgiveness of the offended.

According to Orthodox canons, it is believed that one cannot constantly mourn the deceased. This is how you keep him on the ground by your behavior. When family and friends find peace, they give peace to the departed person.

When the soul goes through the journey in hell, then sinners have the opportunity to repent. IN this moment It is the prayers of the living that provide strong support for the dead on this difficult path.

It is very important to order a prayer service on the 9th day. After which, of course, you must definitely end the day with a wake. The prayer that sounds during commemoration helps the deceased to pass these difficult hellish trials.

The prayers of living people are filled with requests for the deceased to join the angels. If the Almighty wills, then the deceased will become a guardian angel for one of his relatives.

How to count the 9th day correctly?

When calculating, you need to take into account not only the day, but also the time. The funeral must be held no later than the ninth day. Usually they are even done earlier. There is no way to organize a wake later.

For example, if a person died after lunch, then a wake should be held eight days later. Please note that the date of death and the time of the funeral are in no way related to each other. According to Orthodox customs, it is believed that the body is buried on the second or third day. But it also happened that the date of burial was postponed even to the sixth and seventh day. Based on this, the date of the funeral is calculated only from the time of death.

Funeral according to traditions

How to remember for 9 days after death? Now we will tell you in detail. Let us note that a wake is a necessary, but not very simple ritual to pay tribute to the memory of the deceased. At the same time, leaving in his mind all the best from his life.

Funerals on the 9th day are not usually held in a cemetery. You can simply come to the grave of the deceased for your loved ones. You can arrange a funeral at home. If it is not possible to do this there, then you can hold the event in a cafe.

It is customary that people are not invited to the funeral dinner. They must come on their own. Of course, you need to tell them when and where the event will take place. It is also necessary to express the desire for these people to be present at the funeral dinner, which begins and ends with the Lord's Prayer.

We set the table correctly for a funeral dinner. What dishes can you cook?

How to remember correctly for 9 days? We need to arrange a special lunch. Just remember that it has nothing to do with celebration. During this dinner there can be no laughter, fun and songs.

The Church does not recommend placing it on the table and consuming alcoholic drinks, which cause unusual cases of behavior. In general, drunkenness is a great sin. And, as you know, during wakes people pray for the forgiveness of sins, not only of the dead, but also of the living. During lunch on the 9th day, if you indulge in drunkenness, you can harm the deceased.

How to remember for 9 days after people have prayed? Then each of those present puts on a kutya, which was specially prepared and consecrated in the church. Note that if it was not possible to consecrate the food, then it can be sprinkled with holy water three times.

Funeral kutia

As has already become clear, the main dish, that is, what is remembered for 9 days, is kutia. Each region has its own unique food preparation traditions. But the main components are grain and honey. The following cereals can be used in cooking:

• millet;
• corn;
• wheat.

Let us note that it is not by chance that grain is chosen to prepare this dish. It has sacred meaning. What is meant here is that the seed dies when cooked, just like a person dies. The latter can be reborn in the Kingdom of Heaven in a new appearance. To wish the deceased a heavenly life, poppy seeds and honey are added to kutya.

Not always this Lenten dish add raisins and nuts. This is because they symbolize healthy life and well-being. Symbols of heaven are sweets such as honey and sugar. They are also added to kutya. Don't turn a funeral dinner into a waste of time. This time is reserved for consoling loved ones and remembering the deceased.

Funeral lunch. Basic rules of conduct

How to remember the dead for 9 days? Lunch should start with the first course. Usually it is borscht. Also on the funeral menu there is porridge, often pea. This dish is served with cutlets, fish or poultry.

Many people are interested in how to remember for 9 days and what should be served? Now let's try to figure it out this issue. The menu at a wake must include porridge (often pea), accompanied by cutlets, fried fish or a bird.

The receiving party chooses the cold appetizers themselves. As for drinks, there should be either compote or uzvar on the table. At the end of lunch they serve thin pancakes(with cottage cheese or poppy seeds) or pies with sweet filling.

The purpose of a wake is not the consumption of food!

Note that you don’t need to prepare a lot of food so as not to fall into gluttony. In general, rituals during the taking of funeral food are an invention of people. The meal is not the main event of the day. People should just quietly remember the deceased. Don't talk bad about him. This is necessary in order not to harm him during his journey through hell.

If you talk negatively about the deceased on the 9th day, then there is a chance that he will receive a terrible sentence. Let us note that all the food left after the funeral dinner must be distributed to the needy and the poor.

Wake clothes

At the funeral dinner, prayers are read, so women cover their heads with scarves. On the 9th day, only loved ones can have black scarves, as a symbol of special sadness. If we talk about men, then in this case everything is different. They take off their hats and present themselves before God in prayer with their heads uncovered.

Behavior in church

We have already figured out how to remember for 9 days. For Orthodox loved ones, it is a prerequisite that they be present at the service on the occasion of 9 days.

All people light candles for the repose of the deceased according to this plan:

1. First, go to the icon, near which there are candles for the repose. It usually depicts the crucifixion of Jesus. Cross yourself.
2. Light the previously purchased candle from other burning ones. If they are not there, then you can use the fire from the lamp. Under no circumstances should you use matches or lighters in this matter.
3. Place a lit candle in an empty space.
4. Next, ask God to rest the soul of the deceased, be sure to call full name(the one with whom they were baptized).
5. Cross yourself, bow, move away from the lamp.

The candles that are placed in the church symbolize a collective request for the deceased. When praying for the soul of the deceased, send requests to God for the mercy of a sinful person. How more people will pray for his forgiveness, the more likely it is that he will receive forgiveness. You can ask both from the Holy Saints, and from the angels and God.

The value of any life largely correlates with the fact that it ends sooner or later. According to Orthodox tradition, after the funeral, the soul of the deceased awaits a transition to another world. It is believed that the future fate of a person depends not only on the acts he committed during his lifetime, but also on how his relatives and friends remember him. The 9th and 40th days after death are of particular importance for the self-determination of the soul in the afterlife. So how should they be celebrated?

General rules for funerals

Orthodox Christians organize funerals to pay tribute to a deceased relative. People remember the good deeds a person did during his lifetime and note his positive qualities. At a wake, you should never make a scandal, argue or quarrel. Negative emotions relatives and friends, as they say, can complicate the path of the soul of the deceased to a better world.

For the same reason, sobs, despair and loud regrets about the departure of a loved one are inappropriate. In the Orthodox tradition, death is considered an inevitable and natural outcome of life; it is not a tragedy at all. Believers believe that to a good person There is no need to be afraid of God's judgment. Therefore, at a wake it is customary to behave calmly, restrainedly and kindly.

A joint meal brings together relatives, friends and colleagues of the deceased. It is not allowed to send out invitations to funerals. It is believed that everyone to whom this is important should inquire about the place and time of this event themselves. But it is not forbidden to casually mention in a conversation the efforts that relatives are busy with regarding the organization of a funeral meal. This will tell the person that he should come if he himself considers it necessary to attend this event.

Despite Russian table traditions, Orthodox funerals do not involve the consumption of alcoholic beverages. Although this rule is often violated, because the popular ideas about a worthy send-off of the deceased to another world in this matter do not coincide with religious canons. But in any case, the wake should not turn into a banal drinking session, because this is a sacred event, and not a reason for fun and dancing.

As a rule, it is customary to dress modestly at a wake, in dark-colored clothing. Scarves are required for women. If the deceased was an elderly person, then the relatives of the deceased mourn for 40 days from the moment of his death. Young people who tragically passed away - husbands, wives, children - are mourned for up to 1 year, all this time adhering to dark tones in clothing.

9 days - the ordeal of the soul begins

According to religious canons, on the ninth day after death, the so-called ordeal of the soul begins, when it overcomes various obstacles created by sins. Angels help the deceased in this. As a result, the good deeds a person has done during his lifetime must outweigh his bad deeds.

The funeral, organized on the 9th day, is designed to help the soul of the deceased overcome all obstacles on the way to eternal life. Therefore, on this date, relatives order a funeral prayer service in the church, light candles in front of the icons and read prayers so that the Almighty will accept the soul of the deceased into His Kingdom. And in the house you can light a lamp in memory of the departed person.

On this day, relatives and everyone who feels the need to visit the grave and bring flowers there. It is believed that for a person whose soul has begun the stage of repentance and cleansing from sins, it is important how the living remember him and whether they pray for him.

An obligatory dish during a funeral meal is kutia. This is porridge, which is prepared from whole wheat grains (less often from barley, rice or other cereals) with the addition of nuts, raisins or other sweets, the dish is poured with honey or honey syrup. As a rule, kutya is served at the very beginning of the wake.

The list of treats offered to guests on day 9 varies depending on the region of Russia. But there are also general points. Immediately after kutya, the first dish is served - soup or cabbage soup. The second can be meat or lean, it all depends on what time the commemoration occurred. In addition, on the table there are often fish dishes and jelly. And the meal ends with pancakes or pancakes.

Drinks that are traditionally drunk at funerals include compote, kvass and jelly. The owners can also prepare various porridges, pies, cabbage rolls, stuffed peppers, and vegetable salads. In addition, there are usually apples and other fruits on the table.

On the 9th day after the death of a relative, it is customary to give alms to people in churches and cemeteries with a request to pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased. Treats left over from the wake are also distributed.

40 days - final goodbye

Very important milestone in farewell to the deceased are 40 days after his death. It is at this time that the human soul is believed to finally leave our mortal world. For the Orthodox this is significant date, which separates earthly life from eternal life.

After 40 days, the soul can last time visit places that are important to her, see relatives and friends, and then the final decision is made in Heaven future fate deceased. Therefore, these commemorations are very important, because the kind words spoken by people about the deceased will certainly be taken into account by the High Court.

On this day, you should definitely order a funeral service in the church and pray for the soul of the deceased. During the funeral meal, it is prohibited not only to drink alcoholic beverages, but also to sing songs and have fun. The meal, as a rule, differs little from the 9-day funeral, except that instead of the first course, a variety of salads are served. Kutya and rich pancakes or pancakes are obligatory dishes of this meal.

At the table for 40 days, it is customary to remember not only the deceased, but also other relatives who have left the world of the living in the foreseeable past. Guests take turns saying funeral speeches. And the person who is given the floor must stand up. Then the deceased should be honored with a minute of silence.

For 40 days, the things of the deceased should be distributed to those who need them. At the same time, people are asked to remember the deceased kind words. Relatives keep only photographs and other items valuable as a memory of dear person. If no one took one of the deceased’s things, then it should not be thrown away, but should be taken to a temple or given to charity.