Judgment: difficult questions. Why do we judge other people?

For many years I sincerely believed that judging people was bad, and I even somehow tried to fight this reaction of mine. But now I have changed my mind.
Judgment is almost a reflex. Of course, it is possible to fight it, but this leads either to self-deception with the style “this is not a condemnation, this is completely different,” or, if a person is honest with himself, to condemnation of himself for allowing himself to judge someone.
Condemnation is a person's reaction to the violation of some moral constraint, and the more important this constraint is for him, the stronger the condemnation will be.
Thus, in order to really stop judging (either other people or oneself), a person will have to somehow cancel these moral restrictions.
Those. become an immoral person.
In fact, this does not mean becoming a monster, since morality can be replaced by ethics and morality, but... but the path is very slippery, and I would venture to suggest that in most cases it will not bring benefit to a person.

The answer to the second part of the question follows from this: you can condemn people for what you consider morally unacceptable. Murder, torture, genocide against kittens, or anything else you think is really important.
There is nothing wrong with such condemnation.
But if you judge for any little thing, then this is a problem. But the problem is not in condemnation, but in the fact that a person’s moral rules, he is too squeezed by them, and this squeeze will harm him.
I’m not at all advocating for “moral flexibility,” but overly rigid morality is not helpful either. IMHO, this is one of those questions where a golden mean is desirable, which is not easy to find.

Good answer.

For me, the golden mean in this matter is to expand the morality to “do what you want as long as it does not harm others.” For example, why should I care if someone got a tattoo in intimate place? A person likes it, a person wants it, a person doesn’t show it to every passerby, why should I blame him? Same with most other examples.

Answer

Many particular reasons for this behavior can be listed. The general meaning is:

There are people who need, for whatever reason, the presence of “bad others.” They feel good in their judgments if they differ from others in some positive way. This pushes us to search for these very “bad” ones in the world around us. This happens almost automatically.

Perhaps I'll be brief. This question relates more to ethical issues rather than philosophical ones. Ethics looks at this issue more narrowly; it considers questions about good/evil, justice, honor and dignity, etc. It seems to me that your question relates more to the question of good and evil, since actions for which they are condemned are directly compared. Due to centuries-old practices, moral and ethical considerations have become ossified and society follows these moral values, which are a kind of code of life. They do not condemn you, but it is your actions that are condemned. If your action does not correspond to the routine and established values ​​of people (Be it mom, dad, boss, friend), then it will be condemned. To judge because you are not doing what you “should” do, in terms of the values ​​of other people and society. If we do not condemn the immoral actions of others, then crimes will appear in various forms, society will begin to collapse, and as a result we will not be able to all live together. The other side of your coin is “who should not be condemned?” I consider this question generally inappropriate, because condemnation is a hidden form of comparison with one’s actions, and in this world everything is learned by comparison. You can and even need to judge, but only in your thoughts, holding back the bad and generating the good through analysis. Morality is certain rules that guide us in our lives; there is public morality, and there is personal morality. They always fight among themselves, like the struggle of opposites in dialectics.

I hope I helped in some way.

And I believe that they condemn for such reasons.

Firstly, this is why they gossip and watch TV series all day long. People have nothing to do. They do not have active, vigorous life activity. This may be due to age, or due to the fact that they have made such a choice - to be lazy all day long and not do anything other than basic functions that help them survive. As a result, no interesting events, the lives of other people become very interesting. I would like to “see what and how” she has there.” What I mean is that a very busy person has no time to judge and will not develop a frantic interest in the life of another if this interest is not within the normal range (respect for relatives, keeping in touch with friends)

Secondly, I definitely answer you, happy people They will neither pour negativity on anyone nor condemn them. Why do they need this? They are happy.

The third thing comes with age, when you have habits seasoned over the years, vast experience in all areas of life and the only correct opinion about everything in the world. And you know for sure that it’s not right to open a can and it’s a sin to wear such a dress to a wedding.

Fourth, there is a colloquial slang type of cultural development of speech, which includes not only how a person speaks, but also what he says. So one of the constituent characteristics is “categoricalness in any assessments.” This doesn't mean that being confident in your own opinion is bad. This means pettiness in this concept. I have met people who, with the voice of an expert, approve any gossip, even thought-out ones, and deny for themselves the option of changing their opinion through new incoming facts. A very negative communication experience, to be honest. So this type of people, of course, will condemn everyone and everything, not noticing that they themselves have not achieved much.

I believe that a person should not be condemned for anything at all, because the problem lies much deeper public relations people, it’s about the human psyche, which motivates certain actions. You can punish a person and isolate him if he poses a danger, but I think that condemnation should only take place for educational purposes, otherwise it simply has no value.

About why it is so common and natural to condemn, how and why to fight it, why Christ does not judge anyone, and what to do with the concept Last Judgment, says the rector of the Church of the Nativity Holy Mother of God in Krylatskoye, caring for the clergy of the Western Vicariate of Moscow, .

Clergymen, when confessing people, very rarely meet a person who could say: “But I don’t condemn anyone.” This is nice to hear, but this situation is rather an exception...

Condemnation is a manifestation of our pride, by which we arrogate to ourselves the opportunity to judge another person. Self-exaltation is characteristic of every person; it is deeply instilled in all of us. A feeling of self-satisfaction and self-worth always warms us from the inside: “He is so handsome, good, and I am even more beautiful and better!” - and immediately our souls feel warm. Everything pleasant that we hear addressed to us makes us happy, but just say something contrary to our opinion about ourselves... oh, my brother! Some even get furious at this: “What did you tell me?!” A sense of self-worth can be a strong incentive to achieve many heights, it is a powerful driver! But still, we know that it works on carnal, earthly energies. And we know that Scripture says: “God resists the proud”...

You can’t overcome the feeling of pride, it’s very strong. And if a person does not fight him, does not reject him from himself, then naturally he has the need to judge others from the height of his conceit: “I am so high and perfect, but all around I do not see perfection, therefore I have the right to reason and label “labels” on others.” And now people are trying to get together, talk, discuss how he lives, like this one. And they themselves don’t notice how they begin to condemn, while making excuses: “I don’t condemn, I reason.” But in such reasoning there is always a tendency to paint a person in gloomy, dark colors.

So we begin to take upon ourselves what does not belong to us—judgment. And most often we do this not openly. For example, let’s look at someone and think to ourselves: “Aha, this person is such and such a person, he has such an attitude.” It's a slippery slope and erroneous opinion!

IN Holy Scripture there is a very deep expression: For which man knows what is in a man except the spirit of man that dwells in him?(1 Cor. 2 :eleven). And further: Likewise, no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God.(1 Cor. 2 :12). By this, the Lord immediately determines the depth that is characteristic of a person. You can't fully know a person! Even if you thoroughly study his biography, there is still a lot of hidden things left in him that only he himself is able to experience and feel.

If there is no such depth in our approach to a person, then all our judgments are rather superficial. Therefore, the Lord directly says: Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not feel the plank in your own eye? Or, as you can say to your brother: brother! Let me take the speck out of your eye, when you yourself cannot see the beam in your eye? Hypocrite! First take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see how to remove the speck from your brother’s eye(OK 6 :41-42).

From the outside, we can imagine a person in any light, but truly, deeply, knowing him is given only to himself - if he, of course, tests himself, if he wants to know himself, and not just as one of millions, but himself before the face of God. Because when we evaluate ourselves differently - in the face of other people or based on our own opinion- it seems to us: yes, we really are somehow special, worthy, and, of course, not criminals. As the Pharisee said: “I am not like other men. I fulfill God’s law, I fast, I give tithes.” It naturally spills out of us. And it shows that we don't have deep knowledge About Me.

Knowledge, a person’s knowledge of himself and of God— it seems to me that this is the source of non-judgment. It is given either by grace, or as a result of achievement, inner work. And condemnation occurs because, on the one hand, we are not inclined to deep knowledge of ourselves, and on the other, we have not reached the level of repentance.

Looking within yourself is the beginning of the spiritual process. Conscience gives a person knowledge about himself, and seeing himself, he sometimes even reaches the point of hatred: “I hate myself like this! I don’t like myself like this!” Yes, you have come to the knowledge of yourself, it is bitter, but this knowledge is perhaps the most important, the most significant in life. Because here is the starting point of repentance, an opportunity for the rebirth of your mind, a qualitative change in your attitude towards yourself and the whole world, and above all, towards your Creator and Creator.

Why is it said that there is greater joy in heaven about one repentant sinner than about a hundred righteous people who do not need to repent? Because it is difficult, but necessary, to come to this understanding: “It turns out that by my nature I am no different from others, my nature is from the old Adam, I am the same by nature as my brother.”

But we do not want to know ourselves, to examine ourselves with an examining eye, because this will require the next step - searching for an answer to the question: “Why is this so in me?” The carnal opposes the spiritual; this is the law of internal warfare. Therefore, people choose a more natural and seemingly simpler path - to look around, judge others, and not about themselves. They don't realize that it causes them great harm...

When a person begins to see clearly, he begins to understand that God doesn't condemn anyone. The Gospel of John says this directly: For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.(In 3 :16-17). Associated with the Messiah is the idea that He will be clothed royal power and he will come to judge the nations, as having a truly Divine judgment. But then it suddenly turns out that God came not to judge us, but to save us! This mystery is truly amazing, it is amazing for us! And if God does not judge us, then who can judge us?

Therefore, condemnation is a mistaken attitude of our consciousness, a mistaken idea that we have power. What if God Himself refuses this power? Scripture says that the Father gave judgment to the Son, and the Son says, “I did not come to judge you.”

But at the same time The Lord does not hide that there will be a righteous judgment, which, as Lermontov wrote, “is not accessible to the ringing of gold.” God will reveal himself, and in that appearance all creation will see itself as it is. Now the Lord hides Himself because of our weaknesses, our imperfections, and when the full revelation of God comes, then there will be nothing to hide. The books of conscience will unfold, everything secret will be revealed, and a person will give an answer for every word he says. And then the Lord says: He who rejects Me and does not accept My words has one who judges him: the word that I have spoken will judge him at the last day.(In 12 :48). It shows that our idea of ​​a court as some kind of extraordinary, superpersonal, authoritative proceeding - as in our earthly courts, when a whole panel of judges gathers, considers huge volumes on the case and makes a decision - is not entirely correct. God doesn't make decisions. It gives freedom, always gives a person the opportunity to improve: deviate from unhealthy norms that do not bring joy to you or others. Thus, a person is completely free to choose.

They say it’s hard to come under human judgment, because people in their judgments can be very cruel, fundamentally cruel: they have given you a sentence - that’s it, and try to change yourself in the eyes of the public! But God’s judgment is merciful, because the Lord wants to justify man: I do not want the sinner to die, but for the sinner to turn from his way and live(Eze 33 :11).

The line between condemning a person and condemning an act It's hard for us not to cross! But it is said: do not judge a person’s personality, do not judge him as the image and likeness of God. The Holy Spirit does not accept it when we arrogate to ourselves the power to judge another harshly. Yes, even if his bad, ugly act is worthy of condemnation, but don’t judge the man himself as a person! He can correct himself tomorrow, follow the path of repentance, become different - this opportunity is not taken away from a person until his last breath. We do not fully know the Providence of God about him, nor how dear he is to God, - after all, Christ shed His blood for everyone, redeemed everyone and condemned no one. Therefore, we simply do not have the right to judge for ourselves!

Yes, Christ dispersed the merchants near the temple with a whip, but this is not a condemnation, but a volitional action directed against lawlessness. Scripture says: Jealousy for Your house consumes me(In 2 :17). Similar examples and meet in our lives. When we see that someone’s actions go beyond the spiritual and moral framework, that someone communicates a lot of evil to people, then, of course, we can react, call to order, pull the person back: “What are you doing? Come to your senses! Look what that in itself means.”

But such is our nature, distorted by sin, that negative emotions they immediately ask to come out in any situation, without any reason: you just look at a person, and you are already measuring him, assessing his external merits - but you have to stop yourself. Judge not, lest ye be judged, for with the same judgment ye judge, so shall ye be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you(Mt. 7 :1-2) — These words of the Lord should be a reminder to us at any time, in any place. A lot of sobriety is needed here. And adherence to principles: “No, Lord, You are the One Judge, You are the One Lover of Mankind, You do not want anyone to perish and You have not spoken even over the most terrible sinners words of condemnation. Even being crucified, You prayed: “Father, forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing.”

I remember I had such a parishioner, from the common people, who said: “ Father, God will have mercy on everyone, forgive everyone, I believe that everyone will be saved!“Out of the kindness of her heart, she did not want to judge anyone and believed that all people have something good that can be learned from. This attitude is achieved by sober mind, when the soul is nourished true examples, the Gospel. And everyone who prays and reads Scripture every day has a special attitude, a special mood! Those who have felt grace feel God’s love for everyone, and therefore do not want to accept any malicious attacks or caustic feelings towards others.

We Christians in this regard have a strong example of people of high spirituality. They loved everyone, pitied them, did not condemn anyone, and even vice versa: the weaker a person was, the more visible shortcomings he had, the more attention and love the saints showed to such people; They valued them very much because they saw that the truth would reach them, because they were prepared for this with their very hard lives. But pride, on the contrary, will always find terrible judgments that are ready to depersonalize any person.

“Everyone is bad and everything is bad!”- this is the spirit of pride, the demonic spirit, this is the narrowing of our heart. It sets in motion mechanics from which people themselves suffer. Any condemnation is the introduction of some kind of darkness into oneself. In the Gospel of John the Theologian there are these words: He who believes in Him is not condemned, but he who does not believe is already condemned, because he has not believed in the name of the Only Begotten Son of God. The judgment is that light came into the world, but people loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.(In 3 :18-19). By condemning, a person violates the spiritual law of life in God and immediately receives notification that he has sinned gravely. How many times has this happened: someone prayed, asked God for mercy, forgiveness, and the Lord gave it to him - and the person left the service renewed! But he met someone on the way from the temple, and condemnation began: you are this and that, and he is so and so. All. He lost everything he just gained! And many holy fathers say: as soon as you look askance at someone, accept a bad thought about a person, grace immediately leaves you. She does not tolerate condemnation, which is completely opposite to the spirit of the Gospel.

How to deal with condemnation? Firstly, John Chrysostom has this advice: if you have sinned in thought, immediately repent mentally. I thought something bad about my relative, about my friend, and caught myself saying: “What kind of thoughts? Why am I doing this? Lord, forgive me for this instantaneous manifestation! I do not want it".

Secondly: when inner feeling encourages you to give a negative assessment to someone, you immediately turn to yourself: are you free from this shortcoming? Or do you not know anything about yourself that could be reproached for? And - you will feel that you are the same as the one whom you are ready to condemn!

In ancient times there was still such a “golden” rule. When you are struggling with feelings of indignation and cannot understand why this person did this, then put yourself in his position, in his place, and this person in yours. And a lot will become clear to you right away! This is very sobering. So I put myself in the position of someone else: “My God, how many difficulties he has in life! There are difficulties in the family, there is no understanding with the wife, with the children... Indeed, how difficult is it for him, the poor thing!”

The Holy Fathers have another rule. Do you want to judge someone? And you put Christ in your place. Will the Lord judge? But even when He was crucified, Christ did not condemn anyone; on the contrary, He suffered for everyone. So why did I suddenly imagine myself above God and set myself up as a judge?

Condemnation can be avoided in any case. Because a person is designed in such a way that he can always protect the identity of another, not put a stigma on him, but immediately follow the path of reasoning: “I know how wonderful he is, how many difficulties he had, and he endured everything.”

Condemnation is a heart misaligned. So I meet a person, and instead of joy I think: “Aha, he’s coming with a cigarette again” or “Again he’s tipsy, so-and-so.” There are no good motivations that should be there. The temptation to judge stands in the way - there’s no escape! But before the stream of judgmental thoughts pours out, I must first put myself in my place and give room to reason.

I like the statement of the modern Greek ascetic, monk Paisius the Holy Mountain: “ Modern man should be a “factory of good thoughts.” Must be ready personality to accept and understand a person: yes, it’s hard for him, he found himself in difficult circumstances, his life has broken him, but still there is something good, whole in him, something that makes it possible not to exclude him from the number of decent, good people . The internal development of such good thoughts, acceptance of any person, in any capacity, no matter how he looks and behaves, as a protective environment, it will not allow the heart to accept the evil, destructive area of ​​​​a person. But you destroy your neighbor in your soul when you give him a bad characterization.

The person himself is wonderful! As one ascetic said, if we knew how beautiful the human soul is, we would be surprised and would not condemn anyone. Because the human soul is truly magnificent. But it will reveal itself - as always happens in all our fairy tales - at the last moment...

Prepared by Valeria Posashko

We all know the commandment: “ Judge not lest ye be judged" But for many, this command of the Savior causes bewilderment: “Is this possible? How then to distinguish who is doing good and who is doing bad? What should judges do, whose profession is to judge and condemn? Change your occupation? Let's try to figure it out.
It seems to me that this commandment is revealed best and in more detail in the Gospel of Luke. " Don't judge and you won'tconvicted; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give and it will be given to you"(Luke 6:37–38).“Judge not, and you will not be judged.” It is best not to judge another person at all, especially one who has nothing to do with us. We often don’t even notice how much we succumb to this vice - to evaluate everything and everyone.

Of course, most often our assessment is simply wrong: we do not know the inner life of this or that person, nor the circumstances of his life, and our own passions distort reality in our eyes. And most importantly, judging someone, we very quickly slide into condemnation, as Job the Long-Suffering said about it: “Judgment and condemnation are close.”

However, there are situations when it is impossible not to judge - you need to understand this or that circumstance, this or that person: your subordinate, spiritual son or daughter, some temptations and people who tempt us. Therefore, we are forced to reason, but we must beware of condemning: “Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.”

If you do judge, then at least don’t judge. This commandment limits a person’s extreme inclination to condemnation. We, not seeing our passions, often condemn others even for those sins and passions from which we ourselves suffer. And for those vices that we do not have, we condemn with particular cruelty.

The passion of condemnation, when we do not fight it, can completely distort reality in our eyes - to such an extent that we see something that is not even there.

An excellent example of this is given by the Monk Abba Dorotheos. One monk saw that a certain brother was about to receive holy communion, having first eaten fruit in the garden. The monk told the abbot about this, and he called his brother aside as he approached the Chalice. The abbot questioned his brother, and it turned out that before the liturgy he was not only not in the garden, but even in the monastery, since the steward sent him to the village on some business. Therefore, we must constantly pay attention to ourselves so as not to succumb to the harmful habit of judging.

But it may happen that we will be forced to condemn. For example, the righteous John of Kronstadt condemned Leo Tolstoy - so openly he declared: “I resolutely condemn him.” I was even surprised by his directness and audacity.

But the saint spoke this way because he loved the Church of God, which this man blasphemed. Yes, Tolstoy was a great writer, but at the same time he was a terrible enemy of the Church, who corrupted an entire generation, especially the intelligentsia.

However, if Father John condemned Leo Tolstoy, this does not mean that he hated him. If he could do anything to save this man, he would certainly do it. And such an attempt, although it ended in failure, was made by other people - the Optina ascetics. One must think that Father John, if he were still alive by that time (he died two years earlier), would have acted in a similar way.

Tolstoy's condemnation was fair, since it could not be separated from the teaching he created; in fact, it even got its name after his name - Tolstoyism. For the same reason, the holy fathers cursed heretics at councils.

When I read the “Acts of the Ecumenical Councils,” I was struck by this fact. It is known that Theodoret of Cyrus during the Third Ecumenical Council behaved, to put it mildly, insufficiently Orthodox, defended the heresiarch Nestorius and sharply criticized St. Cyril of Alexandria. Subsequently, Blessed Theodoret reconciled with Orthodoxy, and when the Monophysite ferment began, he became one of the active fighters against this heresy, one might say a hero of the IV Ecumenical Council. But the holy fathers remembered that, through a misunderstanding, he had previously defended Nestorius, and they began to demand from Theodoret that he curse this heretic.

The Fathers of the Council tell him: “Say: ‘Anathema to Nestorius!’”, and he tries to justify himself: “I have never been a heretic!” But as soon as he begins to explain his position, they interrupt him: “We don’t want to listen to you, say: “Anathema to Nestorius!”; and he again tries to justify himself. Finally, exclamations began to be heard in the hall of the Cathedral: “Theodoret the Nestorian! He's a heretic! Then he realized that there was no other way but to say: “Anathema to Nestorius!”

From this we draw a conclusion. Either what happened at the IV Ecumenical Council was bad, and Theodoret was in vain forced to condemn Nestorius, instead of giving him the opportunity to express his views and prove his Orthodoxy, or there is a special meaning in this episode and he acted through the fathers of the Council and expressed the truth through their lips The Holy Spirit Himself.

It turns out that when I say: “This man is a heretic,” or: “Anathema to Nestorius!” - there is no sin of condemnation in this. Blessed Theodoret did not sin in condemning Nestorius. And the righteous John of Kronstadt did not sin in condemning Leo Tolstoy.

So, by the words “Do not condemn” we mean: do not condemn in such a way that it is a sin.

There are times when it is impossible not to condemn, and if we do not condemn in such situations, then we will sin. If blessed Theodoret had not condemned Nestorius, then, despite his services to Orthodoxy, he would have been anathematized along with Nestorius. And this can be said about each of us: if we do not condemn heretics, we do not condemn blasphemers, we do not condemn the enemies of the Church, we do not condemn debauchees (precisely as carriers and distributors of depravity), then it turns out that we are justifying them.

Therefore, the Gospel further suggests: “Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.” If it is still impossible not to condemn, then at least forgive these people, do not internally hold a grudge against them.

It will probably seem strange to someone: how can it be to condemn if the Gospel directly commands “Do not condemn.” It often seems to us that the Gospel consists only of the commandment to love, which we understand very narrowly.

But why, for example, does the Church have a collection of rules, that is, laws for judging guilty clergy and laity? In order to condemn certain people for their violations. But this is not sinful condemnation, but the same Divine love that extends to every person and which we interpret in relation to certain circumstances.

The Gospel does not consist of just a few words - “you need to love everyone”; it also talks about many other things. Therefore, there is no need to see a contradiction with the Gospel in the fact that in some cases judgment is necessary. How, for example, can a confessor not judge those who confess and repent to him? How should a judge or chief perform his duties?

Finally, I want to make an important disclaimer. Yes, we need to know about the degrees of permissible judgment and condemnation, but let us not look for justification for our passions in this. In the overwhelming majority of cases, we need to try not to judge or condemn, and then the Lord will not condemn us either.

Everyone probably knows the story from Fatherland about a monk who did not condemn anyone. He lived rather carelessly, but when he died and the demons presented him with a scroll with many of his sins, he exclaimed: “Lord! You said: “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” Look, I haven’t judged anyone in my entire life.” And immediately all his sins disappeared from the scroll. This monk was brought into heaven by the virtue of non-judgment alone. And if we are diligent with her, then she will introduce heavenly abodes and U.S.

How can one not fall into condemnation from reasoning about this or that person?

This is very difficult, and without assistance, one might say, impossible. Only grace allows you to judge a person soberly and at the same time not condemn him. Therefore, we must pray, ask God for help and, to the best of our ability, force ourselves to fulfill this commandment. But at the same time, if it is our duty to judge something, then we must do it, even if we are not dispassionate. Let us, talking about the misdeeds of our children, condemn them and punish them, but let them understand what is good and what is bad. And it is better for us, if necessary, to condemn and punish guilty subordinates than to destroy the work that has been entrusted to us.

In each case, you will have to think: is there a need to talk about this or that circumstance and person? Because if we start reasoning, we can hardly avoid condemnation. But at least let us not condemn unnecessarily - and this is already very high.

My aunt, when she comes to visit us, often complains about her daughter-in-law and her alcoholic son. Her complaints seem fair, and we are outraged along with her. But it turns out she is judging? And are we participating in this?

Yes, I think there is no need for these conversations. They will bring nothing, they will not help either this aunt, or her family, or this poor alcoholic. Therefore, in such cases, you either need to be completely silent, as if not to touch on it, or, if you want to help, pray.

But in order to pray for fallen people, we must have grace, otherwise we can take upon ourselves temptations and sorrows that are beyond our strength.

In a word, we must either help somehow, or at least not harm. And by participating in slander, we only multiply sin even more.

How not to judge a person who comes to church drunk? Is condescension appropriate here, would this not be an indulgence of passion?

I will tell you such a case. One of my acquaintances worked in a temple and was something of a day watchman. One day a guy came to the temple, completely drunk, stood in front of the icon Mother of God, began to cry, shout something... It seems that his mother had cancer.

And all this happened during a service, and my friend was told to throw this guy out of the church. But he treated him condescendingly and philanthropically, quietly led him out, began to talk with him, although he, I repeat, was quite drunk. Subsequently, they began to meet, as a result, my acquaintance converted this man to faith, he became Orthodox Christian, and a few years later - a priest.

Therefore, there is no need to paint everyone with the same brush and condemn them indiscriminately. Maybe the person has some kind of misfortune, or he just drank an extra glass on his name day. But if he behaves impudently, hooligans, blasphemes - this, of course, is a different matter.

There must be some leniency, but also prudence. However, it is better to guard against internal condemnation in this case as well.

Sometimes it seems to me that people who are subject to the same passion are similar to each other; passion, as it were, leaves an imprint on their faces. Is there any condemnation in this?

It’s better not to get carried away with such observations, otherwise you’ll walk around and tell people: “You’re proud. And you are proud, and you are proud: you have the same imprints on your faces.”

We must try to see the image of God in every person, even the most degraded. True Christianity consists in not noticing anything bad in your neighbor.

Saint Ignatius Brianchaninov said that he was honored to see the faces of his enemies as the faces of the angels of God. He looked at his enemy, the slanderer, and saw his face shining like an angel. Why? Was it because he was actually angelic? No, but because the grace of God blinds the Christian in the sense that it deprives him of the sight of the sins of others.

The exception in this sense is, perhaps, confessors. They, so to speak, inevitably have to understand human sins, but not for the sake of condemnation, but for the sake of helping their neighbors. A confessor is like a surgeon. The surgeon who is forced to cut human body and sorting through his insides, does this not for his own pleasure, but in order to help the person get rid of the disease.

In general, all Christians, on the contrary, should strive not to see anything in a person, not to consider what passion is depicted on his face: pride or anger. You need to think: everyone is good, meek, all the angels of God, everyone around me is saints, I am the only sinner.

Of course, it is impossible to acquire such an attitude towards all people through one’s own efforts; only the action of grace can make a person capable of this. But our general disposition should be precisely this.

Schema-Archimandrite Abraham (Reidman)

“Before judging others, pay attention to yourself.
He who throws dirt cannot have clean hands.”

Judging other people

In this article I would like to touch on the topic of judging other people. The topic, on the one hand, is simple and understandable, but, as practice shows, it is not always understood correctly.

So, a simple example.

I'm riding a bicycle. Not on the road, but on the sidewalk. I approach a pedestrian crossing across the road. The red light is on. Quite naturally, I stand and wait for the green light to turn on.

A mother and her child walk past me with a brisk step and, almost without stopping, begin to cross the street at a red light. The traffic is not too busy, in principle, you can safely cross without an emergency.

This is a familiar situation, you can often see this on our streets. Whether with strollers, with children, or on their own, our people calmly cross the road when there is a traffic light.

Violation, wrong action? Naturally, you and I know well that the Laws must be observed even in the most insignificant situations. And they, apparently, have not yet learned this simple truth. So they walk without thinking about the consequences.

But let’s not discuss these people for now, let’s see what appears in our heads while observing such a picture.

Personally, at one time, such actions caused me "righteous indignation" and, so to speak, legal conviction. A series: “Well, what are they doing! The children are with them! What are they teaching them!” and so on. Naturally, I am voicing the softest options. I think everyone can add their own “fighting” expressions to this list.

We return to our traffic light. There is still time, and here I am standing in front of the zebra, looking down at this mother, from above my correctness, and “indignant expressions” are gushing in my head, condemnation is working at full capacity.

And then, suddenly, a kind of easy, malicious question appears in my head: “Young man, what are you doing? this moment are you doing?.

The question is simple, but it made me think. And the answer was not the most joyful:

And at that moment, I was doing so well, efficiently, powerfully, with all my heart, that I was releasing negativity into the back of an unsuspecting woman.

It’s good, at least you had enough honesty to be able to stop and look at your actions without emotions. Yes, and the wording appeared immediately - elementary judging another person.

Not the best option, to be sure. I think there is no point in explaining both the consequences and internal state, and about the presence of Love in the heart at this moment.

This is how the mechanism of JUDGING other people works. A banal, ordinary, simplest case suddenly becomes "strong argument" so that a person himself, without external influences, switches to a state of non-love. And filled myself negative energy, and sent another person a good, solid portion.

Naturally, I made the necessary conclusions, but quite often I see this on the streets of the city. Typical automatic reaction. That’s why I decided to voice it, look, someone will rethink this internal attitude.

Yes, and here, it is advisable to take into account such a small one, but enough important point. If you think you are doing absolutely the right thing in a situation. Like me with a traffic light, for example. I decided to cross the street only when the light is green. It makes sense not to elevate this knowledge of yours to an absolute, that’s just it, everything else is wrong. Options are always possible; life is quite diverse and multifaceted.

And what seems absolutely correct to you today may, after some time, undergo certain adjustments. If you learn something new and important, you will naturally change both your attitudes and your behavior in certain situations. There is no need to limit yourself, first of all, leave room for these changes and new knowledge. And, moreover, it is not advisable to impose this understanding of yours on other people as the only correct one for all time.

This approach is also flexibility is called, any process, like a person, must have the necessary reserve of this very flexibility.

Reason for judging others

What is the reason for judging other people?

Man sees wrong actions another. It’s quite natural to want to help, to let this person know about the mistake they’ve made.

If you have the ability to do this with love and light, great. If, for now, no, you get the standard version of multiplying the negative. A pattern of judging other people is activated. And what kind of correctness of yours can we talk about?

Many people immediately have a question: “So what, just watch how the rules are broken? What if a bully harasses a girl? What if something worse happens?”

But here it makes sense to see the difference between the two approaches.

First– this is the usual highlighting of the negative. Say something more meaningful, look more contemptuously, in extreme cases, and look at the face if you really don’t understand.

Here, everything is clear, in response to external negativity, we give out our negativity. Multiplication is obvious, a situation that is rarely resolved in good side. Majority approach. Judgment works.

Second- this is the approach STRONG MAN. Naturally, you understand that this is not about physical strength We are talking about the strength and ability of a person to manage processes. Here, the mechanism of judging other people failed to engage.

What might this look like?

For example, with the same hooligans. If this has already happened, you can calmly approach and do so, then they will lose any desire to continue their actions. No assault, no pressure, no rudeness, no negativity. Some people know how to do this even without direct contact.

At the same traffic light. You can just stand and set an example. Those who don’t need it will pass by and not notice; those who are mature will pay attention and draw the necessary conclusion, first of all, for themselves. If one out of a hundred pays attention, it will be better than pressing with condemnation with unpredictable consequences both for oneself and for the world.

If the really “crazy” mother continues her actions. You can send an internal message in her direction with good, correct, necessary information. There are chances that he will hear it, or it will be deposited in the subconscious. And there is also a chance that this message can cover up from an accident. You'll see, next time he'll come to his senses. Or maybe this information will be the drop in the common cup that was so lacking for the formation of this skill. Who knows?

If desired, you can imagine a similar approach in different situations. As you may have guessed, for this skill you need to know and be able to do a lot of things. These are not fairy tales, or excerpts from TV series, these are the very opportunities that open up for a person ABILITY TO LOVE.

Naturally, it's up to you to choose. You can train to turn off the mechanism of judging other people anywhere; there are plenty of situations around each of us.

And for a more correct conclusion, I recommend looking at yourself from the outside. Each of us already knows something, can do it, has realized it, has worked it out. But there is a lot of things that we don’t have the slightest idea about. Remember the diagram from the article about. One way or another, we act, one way or another, we do wrong things, one way or another, we break the Laws. This is normal, we still have a lot to learn and master.

I think that it would not be very pleasant for each of us to receive powerful negative energy blows from those who have already worked on this topic for each such action, which is not yet conscious. Correction - yes, support - yes, hint - yes, example - required. But not pressure, not condemnation, not manipulation, not the forced introduction of the correct truths. It is not right to hammer and condemn a person, not according to the Laws. Good level implies the ability to interact correctly.

So there's a lot to think about. It makes sense to get a feel for how the mechanism of judging other people works. Again, if there is a desire, of course.

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Do you often judge other people? Surely many of us have done this at least once, while others engage in condemnation almost constantly. But why does this happen? And how to overcome such a habit?
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What is condemnation?
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Condemnation is not a negative assessment, as many people believe. Often condemnation is carried out subjectively, that is, without analyzing the situation due to which the person caused disapproval. His actions, traits or behavior are regarded in a negative way, they cause censure, misunderstanding, and sometimes disgust. But such judgments are far from always justified.

Reasons for conviction
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So why do we judge other people? The reasons for this behavior can be different, and here are some of them:
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Promotion own assessment, the so-called decompensation. Very few people manage to live and behave correctly and according to the laws of morality, and each of us has the right to make mistakes. But in order not to blame and consider themselves bad, proving to themselves that everything is not so bad, many begin to evaluate the actions of others and, of course, find flaws in them. And condemnation becomes a way to convince yourself that there are worse people.

Stereotypical thinking. What was previously considered unacceptable and immoral is gradually becoming normal and commonplace. Unfortunately, that's life. But not all changes are as destructive for society as many believe. For example, if previously the man was considered the head of the family, today a woman has the same rights, and sometimes performs the same functions, such as supporting the family, driving a car, running a business. But this often causes condemnation, not only of the self-sufficient representative of the fair sex, but also of her husband. He is considered a “mumbler” and “henpecked”, and she is considered too self-confident or unfeminine.
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Inability to objectively assess the situation. Many people begin to judge others without even understanding the situation, which is why their opinion can be erroneous.

Banal envy. Yes, and it can also lead to condemnation. So, if you envy a neighbor who has expensive car, then you will probably look for reasons to belittle him in your own eyes. And you will find many reasons to do this, and very different: from incorrect (probably only in your opinion) parking to excess weight or greed. This reason, by the way, is especially common among women, and for them appearance often becomes a subject of both envy and condemnation.

Rejection of one's own shortcomings or actions. Often we refuse to see and accept our “sins.” And to make sure that they are insignificant, we begin to “dig” into the lives of others and, of course, find a lot of bad and reprehensible things in it. And this makes us feel better.

Boredom. Often girlfriends or friends begin to judge someone during a conversation. This is most often due to the lack of other topics for conversation. When all the news has been analyzed and told, there is nothing left to do but move on to “washing the bones.” And this is typical for many people, especially women.

How to stop judging?
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How to get rid of such a bad habit?
Understand that no one is perfect, everyone is very different, and every person has the right to make mistakes. After all, mistakes are invaluable experience. And risks or rash actions sometimes lead to achievements. Just understand this and accept this thought, let it become one of your life principles.
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Learn to analyze the situation. Before criticizing and condemning a person, try to understand why he acted or behaved the way he did. He probably simply had no other choice, or he was trying to save someone. Always try to put yourself in the shoes of another and then you will probably evaluate his life differently.
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Try to free your thinking from stereotypes. And it's not easy if you live in your own own world and you don’t have contact with others, you don’t know what’s going on in the world. And in order to understand that everything is changing (and sometimes radically), communicate more, learn something new, travel, develop. Then you will begin to look at life and people differently.
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Try to make sure that you simply do not have time to judge. If you live life to the fullest, brightest and interesting life, then you simply won’t care about the actions and behavior of others. And there will always be topics for conversation with friends and family.
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Increase your own self-esteem. Sometimes this is not so easy to do, but it is still possible. To do this, improve, develop, do as many good deeds as possible, help people.

Learn not to judge, but to offer help. Probably, the person who deserved your condemnation stumbled or did something stupid, after which he himself regretted it and does not know how to change the situation. Your help will probably be useful and will help make things better or correct mistakes.
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Before you give someone a negative assessment, analyze your own behavior and also think about how you would behave in such a situation. Perhaps you are nothing better than that, who you are going to condemn, and this should stop you.
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Remember that you can also be judged, behind your back and using unflattering statements.
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Learn to live your own life and not interfere in someone else's; after all, what happens to others often doesn't concern you.
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Be kinder and more polite and refrain from judging!