Statements by Faina Ranevskaya. Winged expressions of Faina Ranevskaya
« A real man- this is a man who remembers exactly a woman’s birthday and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman’s birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.”
“Loneliness is when there is a telephone in the house and the alarm clock rings.”
“The family can replace everything. Therefore, before starting a family, think about what is more important to you. Everything or family."
“Think and say whatever you want about me. Where have you seen a cat that was interested in what mice had to say about it?”
“If a person has done EVIL to you, you give him candy, he is EVIL to you, you give him candy... And so on until this creature develops diabetes mellitus.”
"It's very hard to be a genius among boogers."
“Can’t figure out if you like a young man? Spend the evening with him. When you return home, undress. Throw your panties up to the ceiling. Stuck? So I like it."
“Why are all women such fools? »
What is baldness?
- This is a slow but progressive transformation of the head into the butt. First in form, and then in content.
“I am amused by people’s excitement over trifles; I was just as stupid myself. Now, before the finish line, I understand clearly that everything is empty. All you need is kindness and compassion."
Faina Georgievna, are you sick again?! What is your temperature?
- Normal, room temperature, plus eighteen degrees...
In the carriage compartment, an annoying fellow passenger is trying to get Ranevskaya to talk,
- Let me introduce myself to you. I am Smirnova.
- But not me.
Old age, Ranevskaya said, is the time when candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half of the urine goes for tests.
I adore nature.
- And this after what she did to you? - Ranevskaya answered.
Which women do you think are more likely to be faithful, brunettes or blondes?”
- Without hesitation, she answered: “Gray hairs!”
Faina Georgievna, what does a woman look like if she is placed upside down?
- For the piggy bank.
- And the man?
- On the hanger.
A fan asks for Ranevskaya’s home phone number. She:
- Honey, how do I know him? I never call myself.
Where would you like to go, Faina Georgievna - heaven or hell? - they asked Ranevskaya.
- Of course, heaven is preferable because of the climate, but I would have more fun in hell - because of the company.
Ranevskaya was asked: what is the most difficult thing for her?
“Oh, I do the hardest part before breakfast,” she said.
- And what is it?
- I get out of bed.
“The fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. But reality is when it’s the other way around.”
“A Russian person doesn’t want to do anything on an empty stomach, but he can’t do anything on a full stomach.”
“Animals that are few in number are included in the Red Book, and animals that are numerous are included in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.”
“We are all time killers. But it is what truly and ultimately kills us.”
“I can’t live without the printed word. However, without the unprintable too.”
“Today’s youth are like nothing else. Previously, I simply didn’t know how to answer their questions, but now I don’t even understand what they’re talking about
they ask."
“- Write: “A girl with a dowry, really wants to get married, agrees to any age and appearance, except for lepers and crazy people. If only there was money.”
- They don’t write like that!
“They don’t write like that, they think like that, my dear.”
“There are people whom you just want to approach and ask if it’s difficult to live without a brain.”
“God created women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men. »
And this is where I will end it. Having read it, there is something to think about, something to laugh at.
Faina Ranevskaya - quotes, phrases... Well, I come across faces, not faces, but a personal insult! I enter the theater like entering a garbage chute: falsehood, cruelty, hypocrisy. Not one honest word, not one honest eye! Careerism, meanness, greedy old women!
Optimism is a lack of information.
... They all have friends just like themselves - they make friends based on shopping, almost live in thrift stores, go to visit each other. How I envy them, brainless ones!
What kind of world is this? There are so many idiots around, how much fun they make!
I was at the theater yesterday. The actors played so poorly, especially Desdemona, that when Othello strangled her, the audience applauded for a very long time.
Ranevskaya invites you to visit and warns that the call does not work:
- When you arrive, knock your feet.
- Why with your feet, Faina Georgievna?
- But you’re not going to come empty-handed!
It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, but it’s time for you, you haven’t managed to do anything, you’re just starting to live!
A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.
I understand your complaints about the hysterical weather - I myself am a victim of the menopause of our planet. Here in May it snowed, then it was hot, then cold came, then all this happened during the day.
Having recovered from her heart attack, Ranevskaya concluded:
“If a patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
It's very hard to be a genius among boogers.
Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - which means life is coming to an end.
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly. I live only by myself - what self-restraint
If you have a person to whom you can tell your dreams, you have no right to consider yourself lonely...
The neighbor, the widow of the Moscow Soviet boss, was exchanging Romanian furniture for Yugoslavian, Yugoslavian for Finnish, and was nervous. She supervised the movers... And she died at the age of 50 on a furniture set. Girl!
One day Zavadsky shouted to Ranevskaya from the audience: “Faina, you devoured my entire plan with your antics!” “I feel like I’ve eaten shit,” Faina muttered quite loudly. “Get out of the theater!” - the master shouted. Ranevskaya, approaching the front of the stage, answered him: “Get out of art!!”
We have been accustomed to single-cell words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after this!
—What will I see you wearing next?
“In a coffin,” Ranevskaya suggested.
Homosexuality, transsexuality, etc. are not perversions,
There are only two real perversions: field hockey and ice dancing.
A famous actress screamed hysterically at a troupe meeting:
“I know you’re just waiting for my death so you can come and spit on my grave!”
Ranevskaya remarked in a thick voice:
- I hate standing in line!
Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you get one, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
Ranevskaya was asked: what is the most difficult thing for her?
“Oh, I do the hardest part before breakfast,” she said.
- And what is it?
— I get out of bed.
A person’s passport is his misfortune, for a person must always
be eighteen, and your passport only reminds you that you can live like an eighteen-year-old.
How many times does a woman blush in her life?
— Four times: on the wedding night, when you cheat on your husband for the first time, when you take money for the first time, when you give money for the first time.
- And the man?
- Twice: the first time - when the second one cannot, the second time - when the first one cannot.
If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover. If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover. If a woman holds her head straight, she has a lover. And in general, if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
- What is baldness?
- This is a slow but progressive transformation of the head into the ass. First in form, and then in content.
The boy said: “I’m angry with Pushkin, the nanny told him fairy tales, and he wrote them down and passed them off as his own.”
“Lovely,” Ranevskaya conveyed what she heard. After a deep sigh, the continuation followed:
“But I’m afraid the boy is still a complete idiot.”
Old age is when you don't bother bad dreams, but a bad reality.
Am I really that old already? After all, I still remember decent people.
With these " good morning“We have to fight it like we fight bedbugs, we need dust.” The touching girl and the authors should be hit on the skull with a heavy iron, but this is an illegal technique, to my great chagrin. All these radio ladies who laugh with happy children's laughter give rise to millions of idiots, and this is already a national disaster. In general, all the creators of “Merry Companions” are on trial! "WITH Good morning" - there, "Saturday evening" - a knee in the ass! " Good mood- to the logging site, where they would have met (would!) with the management of the Mossovet Theater and its leader, the senile entertainer Zavadsky.
Loneliness is when there is a telephone in the house and the alarm clock rings.
“Which women do you think are more faithful: brunettes or blondes?”
Without hesitation, she answered: “Grey-haired!”
I haven't read anything for a long time. I re-read everything by Pushkin, Pushkin, Pushkin. I even dreamed that he came in and said: “I’m so tired of you, you old fool! »
Ranevskaya stood in her makeup room completely naked. And she smoked. Suddenly, the managing director of the Mossovet Theater, Valentin Shkolnikov, entered her without knocking. And he froze in shock. Faina Georgievna calmly asked: “Aren’t you shocked that I smoke?”
Starring in a bad movie is like spitting into eternity!
Ranevskaya with all her household and huge luggage arrives at the station.
“It’s a pity that we didn’t take the piano,” says Faina Georgievna.
“It’s not witty,” notes one of the accompanying people.
“It’s really not witty,” Ranevskaya sighs. — The fact is that I left all the tickets on the piano.
— Today I killed 5 flies: two males and three females.
- How did you determine this?
“Two were sitting on a beer bottle, and three were on a mirror,” explained Faina Georgievna.
A friend tells Ranevskaya:
- Yesterday I was visiting N. And I sang for them for two hours...
Faina Georgievna interrupts her with an exclamation:
- Because there are much fewer blind men than smart ones.
Ranevskaya was asked: “Why beautiful women enjoy great success, than smart?” To which Ranevskaya replied: “This is obvious - after all, there are very few blind men, and stupid men are a dime a dozen.”
Do you know, honey, what shit is? So it’s like jam compared to my life.
Everyone is free to dispose of their ass as they please. So I pick mine up and fuck off.
My favorite disease is scabies: I scratch it and want more. And the most hated thing is hemorrhoids: you can’t see it for yourself, you can’t show it to people.
Oh, those obnoxious journalists! Half the lies they spread about me are not true.
- Madam, could you change me a hundred dollars?
- Alas! But thanks for the compliment!
How I envy the brainless!
Loneliness is a condition that you have no one to tell about.
The money is eaten up, but the shame remains.
God created women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
Why are all women such fools?!
Beautiful people shit too.
The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives birth to a heroine mother. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man gives birth to a single mother. Union smart woman and gives birth to a stupid man an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting.
Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
I wish I had her legs - she had lovely legs! It's a shame - now they'll disappear.
- I don’t drink, I don’t smoke anymore and I’ve never cheated on my husband - because I never had one.
- So, does that mean you have no shortcomings at all?
- In general, no. True, I have a big ass and sometimes I lie a little...
It is known that Ranevskaya allowed herself strong expressions, and when she was remarked that there is no word for “ass” in the literary Russian language, she replied - strange, there is no word, but there is an ass...
A fairy tale is when you marry a monster, and he turns out to be a prince, but reality is when it’s the other way around.
A real man is a man who remembers exactly a woman’s birthday and never knows how old she is. A man who doesn’t remember a woman’s birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.
The first season in Crimea, I play in Sumbatov’s play the Charming One, who seduces a handsome young man. The action takes place in the Caucasus mountains. I stand on the mountain and say in a disgustingly gentle voice: “My steps are lighter than feathers, I can slide like a snake...” After these words, I managed to knock down the decoration depicting the mountain and hurt my partner painfully. There is laughter in the audience, my partner, moaning, threatens to tear my head off.
— I adore nature.
I don’t get along with everyday life! Money bothers me both when it is not there and when it is there.
It has always been unclear to me that people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
I feel well, but not well.
My God, a miserable country where a person cannot control his ass.
There are people in whom God lives; There are people in whom the devil lives; And there are people that live only worms.
“The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real,” demands the capricious young actress.
“Everything will be real,” Ranevskaya reassures her. - That's it: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.
Success is the only unforgivable sin towards your loved one.
Do you know what it's like to act in a movie? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and they take you on a tour there.
If I, yielding to requests, began to write about myself, it would be complaint book- “Fate is a whore”
He will die from the expansion of his fantasy.
I hate it when a whore pretends to be innocent!
Don’t have a hundred rubles, but have two breasts!
Faina Ranevskaya was at a friends wedding. When a dove pooped on the groom’s shoulder, she said:
- Here are the newlyweds, the dove is a symbol of the fact that your freedom has flown away and spoiled goodbye.
There are a million fans, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy.
Old age is just disgusting. I believe that it is ignorance of God when he allows people to live to old age. Lord, everyone has already left, but I still live. Birman died too, and I never expected this from her. It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, but it’s time for you, you haven’t managed to do anything, you’re just starting to live!
For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
I hate cynicism for its general availability.
My God, how life has slipped by, I have never even heard nightingales sing.
Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me
The soul is not an ass, it can’t take a shit.
The following entry remains in Ranevskaya’s archive:
“They pester me, ask me to write, write about myself. I refuse. I don’t want to write bad things about myself. Okay - indecent. So, we must remain silent. Besides, I started making mistakes again, and this is shameful. It's like a bug on your shirtfront. I know the most important thing, I know that you have to give and not grab. So I live with this return. Memories are the wealth of old age.”
Today's youth are terrible. But what is even more terrible is that we do not belong to it.
A Russian person doesn’t want to do or think anything on an empty stomach, but on a full stomach he can’t.
Pioneers, go to hell.
This lady can already choose who she wants to impress.
Spelling errors in writing are like a bug on a white blouse.
My life is terribly sad... and you want me to stick a lilac bush in my ass and do a striptease in front of you!
If a person has done EVIL to you - you give him candy, he is EVIL to you - you give him candy... And so on until this creature develops diabetes mellitus.
If I often looked into Gioconda’s eyes, I would go crazy: she knows everything about me, but I know nothing about her.
The blind man to whom you gave the coin is not covered, he really does not see.
- Why did you decide so?
“He told you: “Thank you, beauty!” »
- How is life, Faina Georgievna?
“I told you last year that it’s shit.” But then it was marzipan.
The woman is, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
To gain recognition one must, even must, die.
Radio Committee employee N. constantly experienced drama because of her love relationship with a colleague whose name was Sima: she was crying because another quarrel, then he left her, then she had an abortion from him. Ranevskaya called her “HeraSima’s victim.”
Looking at the hole in her skirt: “Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty!”
- Where would you like to go, Faina Georgievna - heaven or hell?
- Of course, heaven is preferable because of the climate, but I would have more fun in hell - because of the company.
Is my shallow thought clear?
To the question: “Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?” - She habitually answered: “No, I just look like that.”
Perpetum male. (About director Z.)
Honey, if you want to lose weight, eat naked and in front of a mirror.
It's been a long time since anyone told me that I'm a whore. I'm losing popularity.
Faina Georgievna returned home pale as death and said that she had taken a taxi from the theater.
“I immediately realized that he was a reckless driver. How he maneuvered between cars, dodged trucks, and slipped right in front of passers-by! But I really got scared only later. When we arrived, he took out a magnifying glass to look at the meter!
From the beginning of their days to their end, men are drawn to boobs.
There are people whom you just want to approach and ask if it’s difficult to live without a brain.
Many people complain about their appearance, but no one complains about their brains.
Teach me to smoke nervously and aristocratically, squinting and breaking the curves of my fingers on leather chairs and sofas, to confuse silk curtains with smoke, and perhaps I can beautifully confess my love to you, in poetry and madly in beautiful words, no spelling errors. In the meantime, excuse me... but I want to fuck you right here on the floor.
Mossovet artist Nikolai Afonin lived next to Ranevskaya. He had a hunchbacked “Zaporozhets”, and sometimes Afonin gave Faina Georgievna a ride home from the theater. Somehow three people squeezed into his Zaporozhets from behind, and Ranevskaya sat in front, next to Afonin. Approaching her house, she asked:
— K-Kolechka, how much does your car cost?
Afonin said:
- Two thousand two hundred rubles, Faina Georgievna.
“What *** on the part of the government,” Ranevskaya concluded gloomily, getting out of the hunchbacked apparatus.
- Fufa, why do you always come to the window when I start singing?
“I don’t want the neighbors to think I’m hitting you!”
I can't eat meat. It walked, loved, looked... Maybe I'm a psychopath? No, I consider myself a normal psychopath. But I can't eat meat. I keep meat for people.
- Nothing but despair from the inability to change anything in my destiny.
You know,” Ranevskaya recalled half a century later, “when I saw this bald man on an armored car, I realized: big troubles awaited us.
- Nonna, what, did artist N. die?
- Died.
- Well, I see he’s lying in a coffin...
Ranevskaya forgot the name of the actress with whom she was supposed to play on stage:
- Well, this one, what’s her name... So broad-shouldered in the back...
Ranevskaya sometimes invited close friends who visited her to look at the picture she painted. And showed me a blank sheet.
- And what is depicted here? - the audience is interested.
- Don't you see? This is the passage of the Jews through the Red Sea.
- And where is the sea here?
- It's already behind us.
-Where are the Jews?
- They have already crossed the sea.
-Where are the Egyptians then?
- But they will appear soon! Wait!
Life is too short to waste it on diets greedy men and bad mood.
All my life I have been terribly afraid of stupid people. Especially women. You never know how to talk to them without sinking to their level.
Women die later than men because they are always late.
- I’m very sorry, Faina Georgievna, that you weren’t at the premiere of my new play“Victor Rozov boasted to Ranevskaya. “The people at the cash registers staged a complete massacre!”
- And How? Did they manage to get the money back?
A man walks into a store on Taganka and asks:
- I would like some gloves...
- Which ones do you want? Leather, suede, wool?
- Leather ones for me.
- Do you want light or dark?
- Black.
- Under a coat or under a raincoat?
- Under the cloak.
- Okay... Please bring us your raincoat, and we will select gloves of the right color and style.
Ranevskaya stands nearby and listens to all this. Then he leans towards the man and whispers theatrically, so that he hears all shopping room, speaks:
- Don't believe it, young man! I’ve already brought the toilet to them and showed them my ass, but there’s still no toilet paper!
I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage!
The companion of fame is loneliness.
Once Ranevskaya was stopped at the Actor’s House by a poet who holds a leading position in the Writers’ Union.
— Hello, Faina Georgievna! How are you doing?
- It’s very good that you asked. At least someone is interested in how I live! Let's step aside and I'll be happy to tell you about everything.
- No, no, sorry, but I'm in a hurry. You know, I still have to go to a meeting...
- But you are interested in how I live! Why are you running away right away, listen up. Moreover, I will not detain you for long, about forty minutes, no more.
The leading poet began to flee.
- Why then ask how I live?! - Ranevskaya shouted after him.
The cinema is a tramp establishment.
No one except dead leaders wants to tolerate my breasts dangling idly.
“When you get married, Alyoshenka, then you will understand what happiness is.”
- Yes?
- Yes. But it will be too late.
- Why are your eyes sore, Faina Georgievna?
“Yesterday I went to the premiere, and an unusually large woman sat in front of me. I had to watch the entire performance through the earring hole in her ear.
If a person is smart and honest, then he is non-partisan.
If he is smart and a party member, then he is dishonest.
If he is honest and a party member, then he is a fool.
Ranevskaya told one lady that she was still young and looked great.
“I can’t return you the same compliment,” she answered boldly.
- And you, like me, would lie! — advised Faina Georgievna.
85 years with diabetes is not sugar.
I'm tired of pretending to be healthy.
I receive letters: “Help me become an actor.” I answer: “God will help!” —What is the difference between smart and wise? - they asked Ranevskaya.
“A smart man knows how to get out of a difficult situation, but a wise man never gets into one.”
Ranevskaya once dined with a lady who was so thrifty that Faina Georgievna got up from the table completely hungry. The hostess kindly told her:
“I ask you to come and dine with me some other time.”
“With pleasure,” answered Ranevskaya, “even now!”
For many years, boys on the street shouted to me: “Mulya, don’t make me nervous!” Well-dressed, perfumed ladies held out their hands with a small bow and neatly pursed lips; instead of introducing themselves, they whispered: “Mulya, don’t make me nervous!” Statesmen walked towards them and, showing love and respect for art, said kindly: “Mulya, don’t make me nervous!” I'm not Mulya. I'm an old actress and I don't want to make anyone nervous. It's hard for me to see people.
- How can a person who has suffered a misfortune console himself?
— Clever man will be consoled when he realizes the inevitability of what happened. The fool is consoled by the fact that the same thing will happen to others.
—Who was your mother before marriage? — the persistent interviewer asked Ranevskaya.
“I didn’t have a mother before her marriage,” Faina Georgievna stopped further questions.
I don't know how to express strong feelings, although I can express myself strongly.
In old age, the main thing is a sense of dignity, and I was deprived of it.
A woman must have two qualities to succeed in life. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men.
I am amused by people’s excitement over trifles; I was just as stupid myself.
Now, before the finish line, I understand clearly that everything is empty.
All you need is kindness and compassion.
In the hospital, seeing that Ranevskaya was reading Cicero, the doctor remarked:
“You don’t often see a woman reading Cicero.”
“And you don’t often see a man reading Cicero,” Faina Georgievna retorted.
- Serve the lady's mouth!
Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said:
- Because White color makes you look fat
- Faina Georgievna, are you sick again? What is your temperature?
— Normal, room, plus eighteen degrees
If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, it means she understands that she will not find another such fool.
Can't figure out if you like a young man? Spend the evening with him. When you return home, undress. Throw your panties up to the ceiling. Stuck? So I like it.
The older generation always scolds the youth:
- she, they say, has completely deteriorated, has become frivolous, does not respect her elders, has no king in her head, only thinks about fun...
Hearing such an old man’s conversation, Ranevskaya said with a sigh:
“The worst thing about youth is that we ourselves no longer belong to them and cannot do all this stupidity...
A young man and a girl are sitting on a bench. The young man is very shy. The girl wants him to kiss her, and she says:
- Oh, my cheek hurts.
The young man kisses her on the cheek:
- Well, does it hurt now?
- No, it doesn’t hurt.
Over time:
- Oh, my neck hurts.
He kisses her on the neck:
- Well, does it hurt?
- No, it doesn’t hurt.
Ranevskaya sits nearby and asks:
- Young man, don’t you treat hemorrhoids?!
One day Ranevskaya slipped on the street and fell. An unfamiliar man was walking towards her.
- Pick me up! - asked Ranevskaya. - People's artists do not lie on the road...
Look, Faina Georgievna! There's a fly swimming in your beer!
- Just one, darling. Well, how much can she drink?!
To stay thin, a woman needs to eat in front of a mirror and naked...
Loneliness as a condition cannot be treated.
Everything will come true, you just have to stop wanting...
There are no fat women, only small clothes.
People are like candles: they either burn or fuck them.
Getting old is boring, but... the only way live forever.
A fan asks for Ranevskaya’s home phone number. She:
- Honey, how do I know him? I never call myself!
I, like eggs, participate, but do not enter.
“I was at the theater yesterday,” Ranevskaya said. “The actors played so badly, especially Desdemona, that when Othello strangled her, the audience applauded for a very long time.
I, by virtue of the talent given to me, squeaked like a mosquito.
I hate you. Wherever I go, everyone looks around and says: “Look, it’s Mulya, don’t make me nervous, she’s coming” (From a conversation with Agnia Barto)
- Yesterday I was visiting N. And I sang for them for two hours...
- Serves them right! I can't stand them either!
I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I was talking about the friendship of peoples.
I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.
I’m like an old palm tree at a train station - no one needs it, but it’s a shame to throw it away.
I don't recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You need to live on stage.
- I don’t drink, I don’t smoke anymore and I’ve never cheated on my husband - because I never had one. - So, does that mean you don’t have any shortcomings at all? - In general, no. True, I have a big ass and sometimes I lie a little...
— I adore nature.
“And this after what she did to you?”
I'm a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk she didn’t serve!..
I now understand why condoms are white! They say white makes you look fat...
This lady can already choose who she wants to impress. (To the expressed opinion “At me Sistine Madonna doesn’t make an impression.”)
This is not a theater, but a country toilet. I go to the theater today the same way I went to have an abortion in my youth, and to pull teeth in my old age. You know, it’s as if Stanislavsky had never been born. They wonder why I play differently every time.
What I do? I feign health.
This is the fourth time I’ve watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
To help us see how much we are overeating, our stomach is located on the same side as our eyes.
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
She doesn't have a face, but a hoof.
This actress's ass hangs and dangles like a hussar's bag.
Having learned that her friends were going to the theater today to see her on stage, Ranevskaya tried to dissuade them: “You shouldn’t go: the play is boring and the production is weak... But since you’re going anyway, I advise you to leave after the second act.” - Why after the second? — After the first one there was a very big crowd in the wardrobe.
Success is the only unforgivable sin towards your loved one.
Such an ass is called a “playing ass” (about a passing lady), “And with such an ass you should stay at home!” (about another).
Talent is like a wart - either it is there or it is not.
Talent is self-doubt and painful dissatisfaction with oneself and one’s shortcomings, which I have never encountered in mediocrity.
Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
The blind man to whom you gave the coin is not covered, he really does not see. - Why did you decide so? - He told you: “Thank you, beauty!”
...I'm sick of the theater. Country toilet. It's a shame to end your life in a toilet.
Now, when a person is embarrassed to say that he does not want to die, he says this: he really wants to survive in order to see what happens next. As if, if not for this, he would immediately be ready to lie down in a coffin.
Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you get one, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
The fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. But reality is when it’s the other way around.
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.
It's hard to be a genius among boogers.
Starring in a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives birth to a heroine mother. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man gives birth to a single mother.
The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to light flirting.
The companion of fame is loneliness.
Growing old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.
Old age is a time when the candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half the urine goes for testing.
Old age is when it is not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.
Old age is just disgusting. I believe that it is ignorance of God when he allows people to live to old age. Lord, everyone has already left, but I still live. Birman died too, and I never expected this from her.
My life is terribly sad. And you want me to stick a lilac bush in my ass and do a striptease in front of you.
It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, but it’s time for you, you haven’t managed to do anything, you’re just starting to live! (late 70s)
A person’s passport is his misfortune, because a person should always be eighteen, and a passport only reminds you that you can live like an eighteen-year-old.
About director Z.: “Perpetum Male.”
(When she was surrounded by a crowd of children with joyful exclamations: “Mulya! Mulya!”) Pioneers, go to hell.
(When the Timur pioneers came to her home to help her like an elderly person) Pioneers, join hands and go to hell!
Pipi on the tram - everything he did in art!
Eating alone is as unnatural as shitting together!
I receive letters: “Help me become an actor.” I answer: “God will help!”
After the performance, Ranevskaya often looked at the flowers, the basket with letters, postcards and notes full of admiration - offerings from fans of her play - and sadly remarked: - There is so much love, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy.
— Why do women devote so much time and money to their appearance, and not the development of intelligence?
- Because there are much fewer blind men than smart ones.
Why are all women such fools?
Damn nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can’t stand when men are sitting.
Birds fight like actresses over roles. I saw how the sparrow clearly said barbs to another, tiny and weak one, and as a result poked him in the head with his beak. Everything is like people.
Let this be a small gossip that must disappear between us.
Everyone is free to dispose of their ass as they please. So I pick mine up and fuck off. (At a party meeting in the Mossovet Theater, at which the non-Marxist behavior of one eminent actor accused of homosexuality was discussed.)
Faina has always been self-critical, she has a famous saying: “Talent is self-doubt and painful dissatisfaction with oneself and one’s shortcomings, which I have never encountered in mediocrity.” Artistic councils and commissions, in the presence of which one had to play, were commonplace at that time when, instead of loving artist the audience looked at him as the “arbiters of destinies.” Often, after such performances, the artist was “under pressure,” but not Ranevskaya: “I play badly, the Stalin Prize committee is watching. It's a disgusting exam feeling."
Ranevskaya was very afraid that she might be asked to cooperate with the KGB - this was common at that time. One of her acquaintances advised, if such a proposal were made, to say that she screamed in her sleep. Then she will not be suitable for cooperation and the offer will be withdrawn. Once, when Faina Georgievna was working at the Mossovet Theater, the party organizer of the theater approached her with an offer to join the party. “Oh, what are you talking about, my dear! I can’t: I scream in my sleep!” - Ranevskaya exclaimed. Whether she was lying or really mixed up these departments, one can only guess.
Ranevskaya was worried tragic death Solomon Mikhoels, they were connected by sincere friendship. In her memoirs, the actress describes one dialogue in which, with her characteristic humor, she told Mikhoels: “There are people in whom God lives, there are people in whom the devil lives, and there are people in whom only worms live. God lives in you!” To which the director replied: “If God lives in me, then He was exiled into me.” (January 14, 1948).
— How is your life, Faina Georgievna?
“I told you last year that it’s shit.” But then it was marzipan.
How I envy the brainless!
The cinema is a tramp establishment.
When I don't get a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands were cut off.
When a jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: “Died of disgust.”
Beautiful people shit too.
Critiques are Amazons in menopause.
Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy...
When Faina Georgievna was asked which women, in her opinion, are prone to greater fidelity - brunettes or blondes, she answered without hesitation: “Grey hair!”
The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real,” demands the capricious young actress. “Everything will be real,” Ranevskaya reassures her. - That's it: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.
Women, of course, are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
Filmography of Faina Ranevskaya:
1934 - Puffy - Madame Loiseau
1937 - Thought about the Cossack Golota - Popadya
1939 — Cochin engineer’s mistake — Ida Gurevich, tailor’s wife
1939 — Foundling — Lyalya
1939 — The man in the case is the wife of the school inspector
1940 — Favorite girl — Manya, Dobryakova’s aunt
1941 — Dream — Rosa Skorokhod
1941 — How Ivan Ivanovich quarreled with Ivan Nikiforovich — Gorpina
1942 - Alexander Parkhomenko - pianist
1943 — New adventures of Schweik (“A Soldier’s Tale”) — Aunt Adele
1943 — Three Guardsmen (“Native Shores”) — Sofya Ivanovna, director of the museum
1944 — Wedding — Nastasya Timofeevna, mother of the bride
1945 - Heavenly Slug - Professor of Medicine
1945 - Elephant and string - grandmother
1947 — Spring — Margarita Lvovna
1947 — Cinderella — Stepmother
1947 - Private Alexander Matrosov - military doctor
1949 - Meeting on the Elbe - Mrs. McDermot
1949 - They have a homeland - Frau Wurst
1958 — Girl with a guitar — Zoya Pavlovna Sviristinskaya
1960 - Be careful, grandma! - grandmother
1960 — Drama (short film) — Murashkina
1963 - So it will be (television play)
1964 — Easy life— Margarita Ivanovna, “Queen Margot”
1964 — Wick No. 25 — Fortune teller in the plot “Cards Don’t Lie”
1964 — Wick No. 33 — citizen Piskunova in the story “I won’t go”
1965 — First visitor — old lady
1966 - Today - a new attraction - circus director
1978 - Next - silence (film-play) - Lucy Cooper
1980 — Comedy of days gone by
Animals, which are few in number, are included in the Red Book, and those that are numerous are included in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
My life... I lived around, everything didn’t work out. Like the redhead at the carpet.
Life goes by without bowing like an angry neighbor.
Life is a long leap from pussy to grave.
Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.
You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.
Doesn't it bother you that I smoke? — When the theater administrator saw her completely naked in the dressing room.
In my old head there are two, at most three, thoughts, but at times they create such a fuss that it seems like there are thousands of them.
In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God willing, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my cotton dresses cause widespread confusion - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental clinics, trams, and private homes. Everyone is upset by my monstrous “stinginess”
- because no one believes in poverty. (1949)
For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly. - in response to someone passing by young man, who pushed Ranevskaya on the street and cursed
Roles in the theater
1936 — “Vassa Zheleznova” by M. Gorky — Vassa
1945 — "Chantelles" by Lillian Helman - Birdie
1951 - “Storm” by V. N. Bill-Belotserkovsky - Manka the Speculator
1958 — “Trees Die Standing” by A. Kason — Grandmother
1966 — “The Weird Mrs. Savage” by J. Patrick - Ethel Savage
1969 — “Then - silence” by Vina Delmar. Director: Anatoly Efros - Lucy Cooper
1980 - “Truth is good, but happiness is better” by A. N. Ostrovsky - Filitsat
In the theater the talented people loved me, the untalented people hated me, the mongrels bit me and tore me to pieces.
— Have you ever been told that you look like Brigitte Bardot?
- No never.
- And it’s right that they didn’t say so.
Faina Ranevskaya - quotes, phrases, statements for status.
Memories are the riches of old age.
I've been swimming in the toilet butterfly style my whole life.
The brain, the ass and the pill have a soul mate. And I was initially whole.
- You are still young and look great.
- I cannot return you the same compliment!
- And you, like me, would lie!
Faina Georgievna (Grigorievna) Ranevskaya (nee Faina Girshevna Feldman; August 15 (27), 1896, Taganrog - July 19, 1984, Moscow) - Soviet theater and film actress, People's Artist of the USSR (1961), three-time laureate Stalin Prize (1949, 1951, 1951).
- famous and popular Soviet theater and film actress. Today, many critics and journalists consider her one of the greatest Russian actresses of the 20th century. She has about 30 films and countless performances to her credit. In 1992 English encyclopedia"Who's Who" included her in the list of the ten most outstanding actresses of the 20th century.
But there is one more distinguishing feature, by which the actress was remembered by millions - these are Ranevskaya’s sayings, quotes and aphorisms. They instantly became winged and spread throughout the country and beyond. And even many years after years, after she passed away, these words do not lose their relevance! 
We present to you best phrases and quotes from Faina Ranevskaya. There are more than a hundred of them:
1. I don’t know how to express strong feelings, although I can express myself strongly.
2. Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you get one, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
3. I noticed that if you don’t eat bread, sugar, fatty meat, or drink beer with fish, your face becomes smaller, but sadder.
4. My favorite disease is scabies: I scratched it and want more. And the most hated thing is hemorrhoids: you can’t see it for yourself, you can’t show it to people.
5. Ladies, don't lose weight. Do you need it? It’s better to be a ruddy donut in old age than a dried-up monkey!
6. Loneliness is when there is a telephone in the house and the alarm clock rings.
7. All my life I have been swimming in the toilet butterfly style.
8. The soul is not an ass, it can’t take a shit.
9. In old age, the main thing is a sense of dignity, and I was deprived of it.
10. I was smart enough to live my life stupidly. I live only by myself - what self-restraint.
11. We have been accustomed to single-cell words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after this!
12. A Russian person does not want to do or think anything on an empty stomach, but on a full stomach he cannot.
13. If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
14. It’s very hard to be a genius among boogers.
15. Horseradish, based on the opinions of others, ensures a calm and happy life.
16. 85 years with diabetes is not sugar.
17. I wish I had her legs - she had lovely legs! It's a shame - now they'll disappear.
18. The fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. But reality is when it’s the other way around.
19. Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
20. Let go of idiots and clowns from your life. The circus must tour.
21. The companion of glory is loneliness.
22. Growing old is boring, but it is the only way to live long.
23. Nothing but despair from the inability to change anything in my destiny.
24. Under the most beautiful peacock tail hides the most ordinary chicken ass. So less pathos, gentlemen.
25. I hate it when a whore pretends to be innocent!
26. Is my shallow thought clear?
27. You must live in such a way that even bastards remember you.
28. Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy...
29. All my life I have been terribly afraid of stupid people. Especially women. You never know how to talk to them without sinking to their level.
30. Understand once and for all that the character of your woman is a reflection of your attitude towards her. For those who don’t understand: it’s not her who’s a bitch, it’s you who’s an asshole.
31. I’m like eggs: I participate, but I don’t enter.
32. I hate cynicism for its general availability.
33. Why are all women such fools?
34. Eating alone is as unnatural as shitting together!
35. So that we can see how much we overeat, our stomach is located on the same side as our eyes.
36. Talent is like a wart - either it is there or it is not.
37. What kind of world is this? There are so many idiots around, how much fun they make!
38. It has always been unclear to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
39. A woman, in order to succeed in life, must have two qualities. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men.
41. If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, it means that she understands that she will not find another such fool.
42. God created women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
43. Life passes without bowing, like an angry neighbor.
44. Pioneers, go to hell.
45. Many people complain about their appearance, but no one complains about their brains.
46. My life is terribly sad... and you want me to stick a lilac bush in my ass and do a striptease in front of you!
47. God seems to love those who suffer. Have you ever seen a happy genius? No, everyone was tossed about by life, like a blade of grass in the wind. Happiness is a concept for average citizens in all respects, and there is no justice here.
48. Loneliness as a condition cannot be treated.
49. Animals, of which there are few, are included in the Red Book, and of which there are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
50. In my old head there are two, at most three, thoughts, but at times they make such a fuss that it seems like there are thousands of them.
51. You cannot learn to be an artist. You can develop your talent, learn to speak, express yourself, but not shock. To do this, you need to be born with the nature of an actor.
52. Do you know what it is to act in films? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and they take you on a tour there.
53. Success is the only unforgivable sin towards your loved one.
54. Life is a long leap from the ass to the grave.
55. Starring in a bad movie is like spitting into eternity!
56. Darling, if you want to lose weight, eat naked and in front of a mirror.
57. There is such love that it is better to immediately replace it with execution.
58. For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
59. I’m like an old palm tree at a train station - no one needs me, but it’s a shame to throw it away.
60. No one except dead leaders wants to tolerate my breasts dangling idly.
61. I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I was talking about the friendship of peoples.
62. Women are not the weaker sex, the weaker sex are rotten boards.
63. There are no disadvantages for an actress if it is necessary for the role.
64. If I often looked into Gioconda’s eyes, I would go crazy: she knows everything about me, but I know nothing about her.
65. I can't eat meat. It walked, loved, looked... Maybe I'm a psychopath? No, I consider myself a normal psychopath. But I can't eat meat. I keep meat for people.
66. The brain, the ass and the pill have a soul mate. And I was initially whole.
67. A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.
68. Loneliness is a state that you have no one to tell about.
69. When I start writing memoirs, beyond the phrase: “I was born in the family of a poor oil industrialist...”, I can’t do anything.
70. Spelling errors in a letter are like a bug on a white blouse.
71. Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it.
72. Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - which means life is coming to an end.
73. To gain recognition, one must, even must, die.
74. Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. Actually, there are only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet.
75. Beautiful people shit too.
76. There are people whom you just want to approach and ask if it’s difficult to live without a brain.
77. Just now I looked at the photo for a long time - the dog’s eyes are surprisingly human. I love them, they are smart and kind, but people make them evil.
78. My God, how old I am - I still remember decent people!
79. Women die later than men because they are always late.
80. I do not recognize the word “play”. You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You need to live on stage.
81. I'm tired of pretending to be healthy.
82. Do you know, my dear, what shit is? So it’s like jam compared to my life.
83. They haven’t told me for a long time that I’m a whore. I'm losing popularity.
84. Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, immoral, or leads to obesity.
85. Life is too short to waste it on diets, greedy men and bad mood.
86. The main thing is to live a living life, and not rummage through the nooks and crannies of memory.
87. My God, an unfortunate country where a person cannot manage his ass.
88. Men are after boobs from the beginning of their days until their end.
89. I hate you. Wherever I go, everyone looks around and says: “Look, it’s Mulya, don’t make me nervous, she’s coming.”
90. You can’t fart happily with a sad ass.
91. Everyone is free to dispose of their ass as they wish. So I pick mine up and fuck off.
92. There are no fat women, only small clothes.
93. When I die, bury me and write on the monument: “Died of disgust.”
94. Either I’m getting old and stupid, or today’s youth are like nothing else! Previously, I simply did not know how to answer their questions, but now I don’t even understand what they are asking.
95. I don’t get along with everyday life! Money bothers me both when it is not there and when it is there.
96. I receive letters: “Help me become an actor.” I answer: “God will help!”
97. Cinema is a tramp establishment.
98. How I envy the brainless!
99. Old age is the time when candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half of the urine goes for tests.
100. There are a million fans, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy.
101. There are people in whom God lives; There are people in whom the devil lives; And there are people that live only worms.
102. When a jumper’s legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.
103. Women, of course, are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
104. Pee-wee on the tram - everything he did in art.
105. I feel, but not well.
106. Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
107. His voice sounds like he’s pissing in a zinc bucket.
108. Talent is self-doubt and painful dissatisfaction with oneself and one’s shortcomings, which I have never encountered in mediocrity.
109. I’m watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
110. I am a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk she didn’t serve!..
111. If you have a person to whom you can tell your dreams, you have no right to consider yourself lonely...
112. Damn nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can’t stand when men are sitting.
113. Oh, these obnoxious journalists! Half the lies they spread about me are not true.
114. People are like candles: they either burn or fuck them.
115. Let this be a small gossip that must disappear between us.
116. He will die from the expansion of his fantasy.
117. I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.
118. Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.
119. Old age is when it is not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.
120. Better to be a good man, “swearing” than a quiet, well-mannered creature.
121. I’m already so old that I’ve begun to forget my own memoirs.
122. At the theater, talented people loved me, untalented people hated me, mongrels bit me and tore me to pieces.
123. March 8th is my personal disaster. With every card with flowers and bows, I tear out a clump of hair from grief that I was not born a man.
124. Everything will come true, you just need to stop wanting...
125. Don’t have a hundred rubles, but have two breasts!
126. Old age is just disgusting. I believe that it is ignorance of God when he allows people to live to old age. Lord, everyone has already left, but I still live. Birman died too, and I never expected this from her. It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, but it’s time for you, you haven’t managed to do anything, you’re just starting to live!
127. A person’s passport is his misfortune, because a person should always be eighteen, but a passport only reminds you that you can live like an eighteen-year-old.
128. The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives birth to a mother-heroine. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man gives birth to a single mother. The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting.
Quotes and Aphorisms 01.04.2017
Dear readers, today I invite you to the article in a special mood. On April Fools' Day, let us remember the quotes and aphorisms of Faina Ranevskaya. The aphorisms of this great mockingbird continue to excite, surprise, and captivate today.
It seems that an entire era has passed (after all, Faina Ranevskaya has not been with us for more than 30 years), and this period was full of very significant historical events. Much has changed in the country, the changes are striking in the life of every family, every person. But it’s worth looking through these apt phrases again, and you understand how little the person himself, his essence, psychology, mentality, attitude towards the world and others changes over time.
Strictly speaking, not all phraseological units attributed to Faina Georgievna are her own “invention.” Those colleagues and a few friends who had the good fortune to visit her house know that the actress had a habit of “catching” interesting phrases, proverbs, and catchphrases of great people. She recorded them on pieces of paper and hung them in the rooms.
Of course, they were “recorded for sub-correction”, perhaps creatively transformed, edited for a specific situation and characters. And then, said to the point and in her unique manner, they acquired the status of Faina Ranevskaya’s aphorisms. Which does not detract from their dignity at all!
And it doesn’t change the fact that she herself constantly gave birth to such impromptu statements. In the life of the actress there were many difficulties, problems, sometimes tragic circumstances. She was truly, fatally alone. And humor, sarcasm, self-irony became a saving armor from the imperfections of the world and human injustice, cruelty and cynicism.
I tried, probably very conditionally, to divide the well-known best aphorisms of Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya into thematic sections. I suggest you dear readers, go to an amusing trip through this unique world of wise and apt statements. I assure you, it will not be boring and very educational!
People are like candles!…
Those around her were amazed by her boundless kindness. How she got along with her “prickly” character was incomprehensible. She managed to quickly hand out her salary and pension, and then barely make it to the next one. She paid the man who walked the dog and the nurses for injections. She transferred a substantial amount to the Leningrad House of Stage Veterans.
It was fashionable to be friends with her, especially not burdensome. There were also those in her house whom Faina Georgievna treated with sincere respect: Vladimir Vysotsky, Anna Akhmatova, Sergei Yursky and a number of other guests dear to her heart. She always loved to treat, give and not expect anything in return. She herself ate little and was generally extremely unpretentious. But she is very observant. Ranevskaya’s quotes and aphorisms about people are evidence of this.
People, like candles, are divided into two types: some - for light and warmth, and others - in the ass...
It’s better to be a good person who swears than a quiet, well-mannered creature.
If a person has done you harm, give him some candy. He is evil to you, you are candy to him. And so on until this creature develops diabetes.
Many people complain about their appearance, but no one complains about their brains.
If you have a person to whom you can tell your dreams, you have no right to consider yourself lonely...
What kind of world is this? There are so many idiots around, how much fun they make!
There are people whom you just want to approach and ask if it’s difficult to live without a brain.
It has always been unclear to me that people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
People make their own problems, no one forces them to choose boring professions, marry the wrong people or buy uncomfortable shoes.
Under the most beautiful peacock tail there is always an ordinary chicken ass.
There are people in whom God lives; There are people in whom the devil lives; And there are people that live only worms.
Men and women - two poles of love
Faina Ranevskaya sometimes gave out quotes and aphorisms about men and women that were quite “salty.” However, she could also speak on other topics in a very undiplomatic manner. But it’s succinct and accurate. She herself experienced a very severe disappointment in love in her early youth. And then she spoke rather sarcastically about her appearance and personal life. Of course, she fell in love, like any creative, subtle nature. But she learned to successfully hide her true feelings behind a veil of irony. I observed other people’s relationships from the outside, dropping linguistic masterpieces “in passing.”
If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, it means she understands that she will not find another such fool.
Women, of course, are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
Women die later than men because they are always late...
No overweight women, there are tight clothes.
God created women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives birth to a heroine mother. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man gives birth to a single mother. The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to light flirting.
If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman holds her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
Why are beautiful women more successful than smart women?
- This is obvious - after all, there are very few blind men, and stupid ones are a dime a dozen.
Why are all women such fools?
Which women do you think are more faithful - brunettes or blondes?
- Gray haired!
When a jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.
Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you get one, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
A real man is a man who remembers exactly a woman's birthday and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.
An employee of Radio Committee N constantly experienced drama because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: either she cried because of another quarrel, then he left her, or she had an abortion from him. Ranevskaya called her “HeraSima’s victim.”
You won’t believe it, Faina Georgievna, but no one has ever kissed me except my groom.
- Are you bragging, my dear, or are you complaining?
There is such love that it is better to immediately replace it with execution.
Medicine + diets = health? Is not a fact!
Many of Faina Ranevskaya’s aphorisms funny sayings O different aspects medicine, health, she also went through diets, which were “in trend” even then. The health of the actress herself was rather poor. She received a lot of treatment, including in prestigious metropolitan clinics, from where she came out with the following conviction: “The Kremlin hospital is a nightmare with all the amenities.”
One of the actors calls Faina Georgievna and inquires about her health.
“My dear,” she complains, “such a nightmare!” My head hurts, my teeth suck, my heart hurts, I cough terribly. Liver, kidneys, stomach - everything aches! My joints ache, I can barely walk... Thank God I’m not a man, otherwise I’d still have a prostate gland!
Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
I noticed that if you don’t eat bread, sugar, fatty meat, or drink beer with fish, your face becomes smaller, but sadder...
Why don't you have plastic surgery?
What's the point! You renew the façade, but the sewage system is still old!
Ladies, don’t lose weight... You need it... It’s better to be a ruddy plump woman in old age than a dried-up monkey...
To help us see how much we are overeating, our stomach is located on the same side as our eyes.
To stay thin, a woman needs to eat in front of a mirror and naked.
“Faina,” her old friend asked, “do you think medicine is making progress?”
- But what about it? When I was young, I had to take off my clothes every time I visited the doctor, but now it’s enough to show my tongue.
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
About life and loneliness
“Remember: for everything you do that is unkind, you will have to pay in the same coin... I don’t know who is watching this, but they are watching, and very carefully.” This is one of Ranevskaya’s aphorisms, which cannot be called funny or witty. This is “just” a wise observation from a person who has experienced and felt a lot. She was offended, sometimes absolutely deliberately. As this happens not only in the theatrical environment, but in creative teams bullying is usually more sophisticated. She learned to distance herself from unpleasant people, but the inevitable consequence was deep loneliness.
You can't fart happily with a sad ass.
Horseradish, based on the opinions of others, ensures a calm and happy life...
Life is too short to waste it on diets, greedy men and bad moods.
Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, immoral, or leads to obesity.
Loneliness is when there is a telephone in the house and the alarm clock rings.
On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do or think anything, but on a full stomach, he cannot.
Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.
Loneliness is a state that you have no one to tell about.
And what nature does to man!
Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - which means life is coming to an end.
The fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. But reality is when it’s the other way around.
Life goes by without bowing like an angry neighbor.
You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.
(Explaining to someone why the condom is white)
- Because white color makes you look fat.
Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. Actually, there are only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet.
The companion of fame is loneliness.
Loneliness as a condition cannot be treated.
This is a slow but progressive transformation of the head into the ass. First in form, and then in content.
Dreams come true... You just need to stop wanting.
About theater and cinema: Stanislavsky's miscarriage
Biographers of Ranevskaya tell how she first appeared on the threshold of one of the Moscow theaters. The year was 1915, Faya managed to try herself in a number of theater projects in the south of Russia. She arrived at the theater director with a letter of recommendation from the director’s friend, the Moscow entrepreneur Sokolovsky.
“Dear Vanyusha,” a colleague wrote, “I am sending you this lady just to get rid of her. You yourself somehow delicately, with a hint, in parentheses, explain to her that she has nothing to do on stage, that she has no prospects. It’s really inconvenient for me to do this for a number of reasons, so you, my friend, somehow dissuade her from acting career- it will be better for both her and the theater. This is complete mediocrity, she plays all the roles exactly the same, her last name is Ranevskaya...”
Fortunately, the recipient did not listen to the entrepreneur’s recommendations. And the world recognized one of the greatest actresses of the 20th century. In addition, we can now read aphorisms and quotes from Faina Ranevskaya. True, in the theater for half a century she played only 17 roles, plus she embodied approximately the same number of film images.
I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.
Critiques are Amazons in menopause.
Once on the southern sea, Ranevskaya pointed her hand at a flying seagull and said:
- The Moscow Art Theater flew.
Success is the only unforgivable sin towards your loved one.
Starring in a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
They say that this performance is not successful with the audience?
- Well, that's putting it mildly. I called the box office yesterday and asked when the show started.
- And what?
- They answered me: “When will it be convenient for you?”
This is the fourth time I’ve watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!
I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.
I don't recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You need to live on stage.
We have been accustomed to single-cell words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after this!
How wrong it is to believe that there are no irreplaceable actors.
About colleagues: everything will be real!
Sergei Yursky said that after filming Cinderella, Faina Georgievna received an “indecently large” fee. She was really ashamed of this substantial amount, began asking her colleagues at the theater who needed what, and quickly spent the money. And only when I had given everything away did I come to my senses: I myself had no money to buy the piece of fabric that I had planned to purchase. Nevertheless, they slandered her behind her back, and even made sarcasm to her face about her appearance and “obnoxious” character. It was against this background that they appeared funny aphorisms Ranevskaya about her colleagues.
(About director Yu. Zavadsky) He will die from the expansion of his imagination.
(About the director Yu. Zavadsky) Perpetum male.
(Dialogue with Zavadsky)
- Faina Georgievna, with your acting you devoured my entire directorial plan!
- I have a feeling that I’ve had enough of crap!
“I can’t stand mass in a brothel,” she said about the chief director’s performances before the troupe. - Do you know what Zavadsky dreams about? That he died and was buried in the Kremlin wall!
“I’m very sorry, Faina Georgievna, that you weren’t at the premiere of my new play,” Victor Rozov boasted to Ranevskaya. - The people at the cash registers staged a complete massacre!
- And How? Did they manage to get the money back?
The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real,” demands the capricious young actress.
“Everything will be real,” Ranevskaya reassures her. - That's it: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.
About myself: I'm like an old palm tree at a train station
“Each of us has our own Mulya,” one of her really close friends, Anna Akhmatova, consoled her.
- What kind of Mulya do you have? - asked Faina Georgievna.
“I clenched my hands under a dark veil,” Anna Andreevna grinned.
They became friends during the war, in evacuation in Tashkent. Then the poetess recalled: Ranevskaya constantly followed her with a notebook, writing down thoughts and lines of future poems that Akhmatova “dropped.” And then, absent-mindedly, she lit the stove with them.
“Madam, you are 11 years old and you will never be 12,” Akhmatova laughed. At that time, Ranevskaya was 46, and Akhmatova was 53.
Faina Georgievna, unlike many other wits, was always very self-critical. Therefore, among best aphorisms Ranevskaya - her statements about herself.
Only the pill, the brain and the ass have a soul mate. I'm whole from the start!!!
My favorite disease is scabies: I scratch it and want more. And the most hated thing is hemorrhoids: you can’t see it for yourself, you can’t show it to people.
Damn nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can’t stand when men are sitting.
Everyone who loved me didn't like me. And those I loved did not love me. My appearance has deprived me of my privacy!
Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy.
In my old head there are two, at most three, thoughts, but at times they create such a fuss that it seems like there are thousands of them.
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
It's been a long time since anyone told me that I'm a whore. I'm losing popularity.
All my life I have been terribly afraid of stupid people. Especially women. You never know how to talk to them without sinking to their level.
This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that's been dropped in there.
I, like eggs, participate, but do not enter.
I've been swimming in the toilet butterfly style my whole life.
Do you know, honey, what shit is? So this is JAM compared to my life!
I don't see faces, but personal insults.
I’m like an old palm tree at a train station - no one needs it, but it’s a shame to throw it away.
(Looking at the hole in her skirt) Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty!
I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I was talking about the friendship of peoples.
Think and say whatever you want about me. Where have you seen a cat that was interested in what mice had to say about it?
What I do? I feign health.
When I was 20 years old, I only thought about love. Now I only like to think.
I feel well, but not well.
Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?
- No, I just look like that.
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: “Died of disgust.”
My God, how life has slipped by, I have never even heard nightingales sing.
It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, but it’s time for you, you haven’t managed to do anything, you’re just starting to live!
Old age and small joys
Faina Ranevskaya, whose quotes and aphorisms we remember today, has always loved animals. They brightened up her lonely existence. She hired nannies for a mongrel named Boy and fed him delicacies. She used to say: “My dog lives like Sarah Bernhardt, and I live like a dog.”
Old age is a time when the candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half the urine goes for testing.
Old age is just disgusting. I believe that it is ignorance of God when he allows people to live to old age.
Growing old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.
I still remember decent people... God, how old I am!
Memories are the riches of old age.
Old age is when it is not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.
Situations and dialogues
Faina Ranevskaya gave birth to quotes and aphorisms on the fly. Sometimes she could quite sharply “shave off” a boor, and sometimes she invented elegant formulations. Rather, not for the offenders, who are unlikely to appreciate this verbal balancing act, but for more advanced colleagues.
Ranevskaya was walking down the street when a man pushed her. The ignoramus was smart enough to curse the elderly woman with dirty words. Faina Georgievna reacted outwardly calmly:
- For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
Today I killed 5 flies: two males and three females.
- How did you determine this?
- Two were sitting on a beer bottle, and three were on a mirror.
Once I slipped and fell on the street. A man was walking towards the actress.
- Pick me up! - she asked. - People's artists do not lie on the road...
After the performance, the artists were transported home by a crowded bus. Suddenly an obscene sound was heard in the crowd. Ranevskaya leaned towards her neighbor’s ear and whispered, but so that everyone could hear, she said:
- Do you feel it, darling? Someone got a second wind!
Ranevskaya with all her household and huge luggage arrives at the station.
“It’s a pity that we didn’t take the piano,” says Faina Georgievna.
“It’s not witty,” one of the accompanying people remarks.
“It’s really not witty,” Ranevskaya sighs. — The fact is that I left all the tickets on the piano.
(To the administrator who found her completely naked in the dressing room)
- Aren't you shocked that I smoke?
I adore nature.
- And this after what she did to you?
The bell doesn't work, when you arrive, knock your feet.
- Why with your feet?
- But you’re not going to come empty-handed!
Memory of the Heart
Faina Georgievna was unpretentious in everyday life. She had neither a car nor a dacha. Few people know that she was fond of painting. I gave away my paintings to my colleagues, which were quite talentedly painted.
Finally, let me remind you of a few more aphorisms by Faina Ranevskaya on different topics, which were recorded by guests of her hospitable home.
(About Lenin) You know, when I saw this bald man on the armored car, I realized: big troubles awaited us.
Is my shallow thought clear?
Let this be a small gossip that must disappear between us.
Now, when a person is embarrassed to say that he does not want to die, he says this: he really wants to survive in order to see what happens next. As if, if not for this, he would immediately be ready to lie down in a coffin.
Animals, which are few in number, are included in the Red Book, and those that are numerous are included in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
It's very hard to be a genius among boogers.
I hate cynicism for its general availability.
Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
Talent is self-doubt and painful dissatisfaction with oneself and one's shortcomings, which I have never encountered in mediocrity.
Dear friends! The memory of the heart is indeed not always cloudless. But she leaves us with both joyful and anxious moments of our life, everything that is dear and that actually makes up this life. Today we touched upon an inexhaustible source - one of the facets of Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya’s talent. Something was left beyond the scope of this material, but we remembered a lot and experienced it with you. I hope this communication was bright and useful.
I thank my blog reader Lyubov Mironova for her help in preparing the material for this article.
Photographs by the famous Soviet photographer Dmitry Baltermants were used as illustrations for the article. He worked for many years at the Ogonyok magazine, and for almost half a century the country looked at the world through his eyes. For many years, Baltermants was considered the main Soviet photographer, who received recognition from his colleagues abroad during his lifetime. Thanks to Anna Blintsova, blog designer, for her wonderful work.
And for the soul and mood, I suggest watching another video material with the best quotes and aphorisms of Faina Ranevskaya.
see also
© AST Publishing House LLC, 2014
© Original layout, Knizhkin Dom LLC, 2014
© F. Ranevskaya
Through laughter and tears
And also, my dear, remember: bad people I don't trust myself...
And you know, I don’t like flowers. Trees are thinkers, and flowers are cocottes.
* * *
My God, how life has slipped by! I've never even heard nightingales sing.
* * *
My God, how old I am - I still remember decent people!
* * *
God created women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
* * *
I'm afraid to play - it's scary. And I’ve been playing for sixty years. And I'm still afraid, I'm afraid...
* * *
I saw the vileness: “Uncle Vanya” is a film. Everything seems to be inside out. Dumb. Brazenly, meanly, they made Chekhov the most boring bore, they play meanly.
* * *
In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God willing, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my cotton dresses cause widespread confusion - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental clinics, trams, and private homes. Everyone is upset by my monstrous “stinginess” - because no one believes in poverty.
* * *
During the rehearsal, Zavadsky was offended by the actors for something, could not restrain himself, shouted and ran out of the rehearsal hall, slamming the door, shouting: “I’m going to hang myself!” Everyone was depressed. There was a sound in the silence calm voice Ranevskaya: “Yuri Alexandrovich will be back now. At this time he goes to the toilet.”
* * *
Everyone who loved me didn’t like me. And those I loved did not love me.
* * *
The theater is an unprecedented mess; it’s even embarrassing to appear in it in your old age. I’m not in the city, but mostly I lie and think about what I can do that’s shameful. I meet my colleagues out of necessity to “create” with them; they all disgust me with their cynicism, which I hate for its general availability...
* * *
For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
* * *
In the theater the talented people loved me, the untalented people hated me, the mongrels bit me and tore me to pieces.
* * *
Memories are the wealth of old age.
* * *
In old age, the main thing is a sense of dignity. And I was deprived of it.
* * *
You have no idea how tiring my acting popularity is. For example, for the New Year there are up to a thousand greetings - I sit like a convict, writing kind answers... Old, in order to rejoice in everything vain...
* * *
There is a director in the family.
* * *
“Stupidity is a kind of madness” is my constant thought, poorly translated. My God, there are so many “crazy people” around!
* * *
The girl married a Jew. Friends ask:
- Well, how?
- Oh, girls, I knew that Jews are circumcised, but so briefly!
* * *
Businessmen, adventurers and all sorts of petty swindlers! They sell their souls like buttons.
* * *
It has always been a mystery to me how great actors could play with an actor who has nothing to take from, nothing to catch, even a runny nose! How to explain mediocrity: no one will come to you, because there is nothing to take from you. I'm leaving you because you have nothing to take. In general, I don’t recognize the word “play”. Let the children play. Let the musicians play. An actor must live.
* * *
* * *
“He didn’t know my soul, because he loved it.” (Tolstoy.)
* * *
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
* * *
If I, yielding to requests, began to write about myself, it would be a plaintive book - “Fate is a whore.”
* * *
If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, it means she understands that she will not find another such fool.
* * *
If a person does not pick up a stray dog in the cold in winter, the person is rubbish, capable of any meanness. And I'm not wrong.
* * *
If you have insomnia, count to three. And if it doesn’t help, until half past three.
* * *
If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman holds her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
* * *
To love a friend is not to spare yourself.
* * *
There are such fools who are jealous of fame.
* * *
There are people in whom God lives, there are people in whom the devil lives, there are people in whom only worms live...
* * *
“The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real,” demands the capricious young actress.
“Everything will be real,” Ranevskaya reassures her. – That’s it: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.
* * *
A woman in the theater washes the toilet. I ask her to work for me, clean the apartment. He answers: “I can’t, I love art.”
* * *
A woman must have two qualities to succeed in life. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men.
* * *
Women, of course, are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
* * *
My life... I lived around, everything didn’t work out. Like the redhead at the carpet.
* * *
Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.
* * *
You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.
* * *
Animals, which are few in number, are included in the Red Book, and those that are numerous are included in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
* * *
Either I’m getting old and stupid, or today’s youth are like nothing,” Ranevskaya once said bitterly. “Before, I just knew how to answer their questions, but now I don’t even understand what they are asking.”
* * *
Zavadsky is given awards not according to his abilities, but according to his needs. It's strange that he doesn't have the title "Heroine Mother".
* * *
Sometimes something not stupid comes to mind, but I immediately forget this not stupid thing. Smart things have not visited my brain for a long time.
* * *
You know, when I saw this bald guy on the armored car, I realized: big troubles awaited us. (About Lenin.)
* * *
I don’t get along with everyday life! Money bothers me both when it is not there and when it is there. (She complained that if she had a lot of money, everyone would know what good taste she has. Lack of money is a faithful companion throughout her life.)
* * *
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: “Died of disgust.”
* * *
Once, when Ranevskaya was still living in the same apartment with the Wulfs, and little Alyosha was capricious at night and would not fall asleep, Pavel Leontyevna suggested:
- Maybe I should sing something to him?
“Well, why do it right away,” Ranevskaya objected. - Let's try again in a good way.
* * *
How wrong it is to believe that there are no irreplaceable actors.
* * *
You know, there are some winged words: “Talent is self-confidence.” But in my opinion, talent is self-doubt and painful dissatisfaction with oneself, with one’s shortcomings, which, by the way, I have never encountered in mediocrity. They always say this about themselves: “Today I played amazingly like never before!”, “Do you know how humble I am? All of Europe knows how modest I am!”
* * *
For the performance of works on the stage and in the theater, writers and composers receive royalties from the box office.
Ranevskaya once said about this:
– And the playwrights have settled down well - they receive royalties from each performance of their plays! No one else gets anything like this. Take, for example, the architect Rerberg. According to his design, the Central Telegraph building on Tverskaya was built in Moscow. There is even a board hanging with the inscription that this building was erected according to the design of Ivan Ivanovich Rerberg. However, he is not paid royalties for telegrams sent to his house!
* * *
How cruelly the “creator” punished me - he gave me a feeling of compassion. I just read in the newspaper that after the recent earthquake in Italy, after the loss of thousands of lives, there was new tragedy- blizzard. The height of the snow was up to six meters, mountains of snow fell on houses (obviously where the poor live) and buried everything under them. I called N.I. and told her about the tragedy in Southern Italy and my despair. She responded by talking about the success of her book!
...How lonely I am in this scary world troubles and heartlessness.
If on the entire planet even one person, one animal suffered, then I would be unhappy, as I am now.
“There is so much love, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy,” said Faina Ranevskaya about the fans giving her armfuls of flowers.
* * *
How humiliating my life is.
* * *
When I don't get a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands were cut off.
* * *
Critiques are Amazons in menopause.
* * *
Someone remarked: “Nobody wants to listen, everyone wants to talk.” Is it worth talking about?
* * *
When I wake up in the morning and feel that nothing hurts, I think I’m already dead!
* * *
Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy. But the audience really loves it? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? There are also Gangsters in the movies.
* * *
When Ranevskaya was asked why she didn’t go to Zavadsky’s talks about the profession of an actor, Faina Georgievna answered:
“I don’t like mass in a mess.”
* * *
Someone said, I think Stendhal: “If a man has a heart, he does not want his life to be conspicuous.” And this decided the fate of the book. When she covered the floor of my room, sheets of paper were lying reverse side, that is, white, and it looked like they were dead birds. “Memories” is involuntary gossip.
* * *
Where does this damn money go, you can't tell me? They scatter like cockroaches with monstrous speed.
* * *
Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. Actually, there are only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet.
* * *
I love music - Bach, Gluck, Handel, Beethoven, Mozart. I love Shostakovich, Prokofiev, Khachaturian - how he guessed Lermontov in Masquerade.
* * *
Who, besides my Pavla Leontyevna, wanted the best for me in the theater? Who suffered when I was unemployed? Nobody needed me. Okhlopkov, Zavadsky, Alexander Dmitrievich Popov were lenient, Zavadsky hated. I ran from theater to theater, looking, but couldn’t find it. And it's all. Personal life also did not work out. ...I'm rotting alive in the Zavadsky Theater.
* * *
I am amused by people's excitement over trifles - I was just as stupid myself. Now, before the finish line, I understand clearly that everything is empty. All you need is kindness and compassion.
* * *
Painful tenderness for animals, pity for them, I suffer at night, this is no longer the case for people. We only feel sorry for old women and old people, who are of no use to anyone.
* * *
I came across people who did not love Chekhov, but these were people who did not love anyone but themselves.
* * *
My life: loneliness, loneliness, loneliness until the end of days.
* * *
Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - which means life is coming to an end.
* * *
...I guess I'm a pure Christian. I forgive not only my enemies, but also my friends.
* * *
Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty! (Looking at the hole in her skirt.)
* * *
You can't learn to be an artist. You can develop your talent, learn to speak, express yourself, but not shock. To do this, you need to be born with the nature of an actor.
* * *
My favorite disease is scabies: I scratch it and want more. And the most hated thing is hemorrhoids: you can’t see it for yourself, you can’t show it to people.
* * *
Our people are the most gifted, kind and conscientious. But almost somehow it turns out that we are constantly, 80 percent, surrounded by idiots, scammers and creepy ladies without dogs. Trouble!
* * *
We have been accustomed to single-cell words, scant thoughts - play Ostrovsky after this!
* * *
I recently read in the newspaper: “ Great actress Ranevskaya". It became funny. The great ones live like people, but I live like a stray dog, although I have a home! There is a stray dog, she lives in my care - I live as a lonely dog, and, thank God, it doesn’t last long. Who would have known how unhappy I was in this damned life, with all my talents. Who would know my loneliness! Success is stupid for me, who is smart, to rejoice at it.
* * *
Bad manners in adulthood indicate a lack of heart.
* * *
Nothing but despair from the inability to change anything in my destiny.
* * *
There is no disease more painful than melancholy.
* * *
Nothing makes you understand and feel your loneliness more than when there is no one to tell your dream.
* * *
- Nonna, what, did artist N. die?
- Well, I see he’s lying in a coffin...
* * *
At night, everything hurts, but most of all, your conscience.
* * *
Well, I come across faces, not faces, but personal insults! I enter the theater like entering a garbage chute: falsehood, cruelty, hypocrisy. Not one honest word, not one honest eye! Careerism, meanness, greedy old women.
* * *
- Well, Faina Georgievna, why didn’t you like the ending of my last play?
– It is too far from the beginning.
* * *
Loneliness as a condition cannot be treated.
* * *
Loneliness is a state that you have no one to tell about.
* * *
One day a young man called her, saying that he was working on a diploma about Pushkin. Ranevskaya was always ready to talk on this topic. He began to come almost every day. He came with an empty briefcase and left with a heavy one - he took out half of the library. She knew about it. “And you didn’t react at all?” - "Why? I took terrible revenge on him!” - “How?” “When he came to me again, I said in my voice into the intercom: “Ranevskaya is not at home.”
* * *
(About the time when passports began to be issued.) “Any date could have been named - no one demanded metrics. Lyubochka (L. Orlova) knocked off a dozen years for herself, but I, idiot, only a year or two - I don’t remember. I thought that I spent so much time at resorts, and resorts, as you know, don’t count!”
* * *
Once the start of the dress rehearsal was postponed first by an hour, then by another 15 minutes. They were waiting for a representative of the district committee - a very middle-aged lady, an honored cultural worker. Ranevskaya, who had not left the stage all this time, asked into the microphone in extreme irritation:
– Has anyone seen our ZasRaKa?!
* * *
He will die from the expansion of his fantasy. (About director Yu. Zavadsky.)
* * *
Optimism is a lack of information.
* * *
About roses: “Look at the greatness! You can’t tear yourself away from them, not think about them. They grow old, blossoming before our eyes. The first person to compare a woman to a rose was a poet. And the second one is vulgar.”
* * *
Spelling errors in a letter are like a bug on a white blouse.
* * *
I am re-reading Babel for the hundredth time and am more and more amazed at this murdered miracle.
* * *
It's very hard to be a genius among boogers.
* * *
I really envy people who talk about themselves easily and even with pleasure. I didn’t want it, I didn’t like it.
* * *
About the director: perpetum male.
* * *
About his work in cinema: “The money is eaten up, but the shame remains.”
* * *
I understood what my misfortune was: I am, rather, a poet, a home-grown philosopher, an “everyday fool” - I don’t get along with everyday life! I buy things to give them as gifts. I wear old clothes, which are always bad. I'm a freak.
* * *
I stopped thinking about the public and immediately lost my shame. Or maybe I literally “lost my shame” - I don’t know anything about myself.
* * *
- Oh, you know, Zavadsky is in such grief!
- What grief?
- He died.
* * *
Pee-wee on the tram is all he did in art.
* * *
A fan asks for Ranevskaya’s home phone number. She:
- Honey, how do I know him? I never call myself.
* * *
“Before a great mind I bow my head, before a Great heart I bow my knees” - Goethe. And I am at the same time with him. Ranevskaya.
* * *
Is my shallow thought clear?
* * *
After another clash with the chief director of Mosfilm, Ivan Pyryev, Ranevskaya said that she would rather take “antipyryn” three times a day than agree to working together.
* * *
They brought in an old dog with broken legs. She was treated by kind dog doctors. The dog is much kinder than a person and more noble. Now she is my greatest and, perhaps, only joy. She guards me and doesn’t let anyone into the house. God bless her!
* * *
“Give to him who asks” - Gospel. What does it mean to give to those who don’t ask? Even what you need yourself?
* * *
Who are we fighting against, girls? (Looking into the room where the actresses were sitting and vigorously gossiping about someone.)
* * *
Damn nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can’t stand when men are sitting.
* * *
Birds fight like actresses over roles. I saw how the sparrow clearly said barbs to another, tiny and weak, and as a result poked him in the head with his beak. Everything is like people.
* * *
A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.
* * *
They sent me two plays for reading.
One was called “Vitaminchik”, the other – “Where are the police looking?”
* * *
Ranevskaya wandered around the theaters. Theater critic Natalya Krymova asked:
– Why all this, Faina Georgievna?
“I was looking for...” answered Ranevskaya.
– What were you looking for?
– Holy art.
- IN Tretyakov Gallery…
* * *
The fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. But reality is when it’s the other way around.
* * *
Today I visited Shchepkina-Kupernik, who talked about the proofreader who remade the phrase “...Mars and Venus stood on the stone” into “MARX and Venus.”
* * *
The worst thing is to offend or upset a person, to hit a dog, or not to feed a hungry dog.
* * *
Today I met my “first love”. He mumbles with his false jaws, and what a delight it was...
We are both embarrassed by our old age.
* * *
Now, when a person is embarrassed to say that he does not want to die, he says this: he really wants to survive in order to see what happens next. As if, if not for this, he would immediately be ready to lie down in a coffin.
* * *
It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, but it’s time for you, you haven’t managed to do anything, you’re just starting to live!
* * *
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.
* * *
Starring in a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
* * *
A neighbor, the widow of a Mossovet boss, was exchanging Romanian furniture for Yugoslavian, Yugoslavian for Finnish, and was nervous. She supervised the movers... And she died at the age of 50 on a furniture set. Girl!
* * *
The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives birth to a heroine mother. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man gives birth to a single mother. The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting.
* * *
The most strong feeling- a pity.
* * *
The old mug did not become my tragedy - at the age of 22 I already put on makeup as an old woman and got used to it and fell in love with old women in my roles. And recently I wrote to my peer: “Old women, I loved you, be careful!”
Knipper-Chekhova, a wonderful old woman, once told me: “I only began to perfume myself in my old age.”
Old women can be sarcastic, and towards the end of their lives they can be bitches, gossips, and scoundrels... Old women, according to my observations, often do not have the art of being old. And in old age you need to get better from morning to evening!
* * *
Old age is when it is not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.
* * *
Old age is just disgusting. I believe that it is ignorance of God when he allows people to live to old age.
* * *
The companion of glory is loneliness.
* * *
I’m trying to remember if in 26 years I’ve seen any humanoid creatures in the movies? Perhaps only Chernyak died of decency.
* * *
Old age is a time when the candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half the urine goes for testing.
* * *
It’s strange - absolutely devoid of (the shadow of) religious music, I love religious music with passion. Handel, Gluck, Bach!
* * *
I would enthusiastically punch all the hacks in the face, but I endure it. I tolerate ignorance, I tolerate lies, I tolerate the miserable existence of a half-beggar, I tolerate and will endure until the end of my days. I even tolerate Zavadsky.
* * *
Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you get one, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
* * *
A friend of mine has two colleagues: Venera Panteleevna Soldatova and Pravda Nikolaevna Sharkun.
And also: Aurora Cruiser.
* * *
Surprisingly, when I was 20 years old, I only thought about love. Now I only like to think.
* * *
"More autumn forest I'm not sorry
He’s also thick and red and scarlet” – poems by a young poet from Tula (on the radio).
- Oh my God, why should I do this!
* * *
Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
* * *
What an actor wants to tell about himself, he should act, and not write memoirs. I think so.
“What a writer wants to express, he should not say, but write” - E. Hemingway.
* * *
“You have the same disadvantage as me. No, not the nose - modesty! – Faina Ranevskaya to Elena Kamburova.
* * *
- Madam, could you change me a hundred dollars?
- Alas! But thanks for the compliment!
* * *
A smart person knows how to get out of a difficult situation, but a wise person never gets into one.
* * *
I learned the horror of loneliness... It’s a lot of work to live in the world. And such sadness, such sadness... I'm alone...
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