infantilis- childhood) - developmental delay, preservation in physical appearance or behavior of traits inherent in previous age stages.

The term is used in relation to both physiological and mental phenomena.

In a figurative sense, infantilism (as childishness) is a manifestation of a naive approach in everyday life, in politics, etc.

Physiological infantilism

• In medicine, the concept of “infantilism” refers to a lag in physical development, which manifests itself in some people as a consequence of cooling, poisoning or infection of the fetus during pregnancy, oxygen starvation during childbirth, serious illnesses in the first months of life, metabolic disorders, disturbances in the activity of some endocrine glands (gonads, thyroid gland, pituitary gland) and other factors. In such people, the growth and development of all physiological systems of the body slow down.

There are genetically linked variants of infantilism.

Psychological infantilism

Mental infantilism is a person’s immaturity, expressed in a delay in the formation of personality, in which a person’s behavior does not meet the age requirements for him. The lag is mainly manifested in the development of the emotional-volitional sphere and the preservation of childhood personality traits. Naturally, infantile people are not independent, i.e. They are used to others deciding everything for them.

IN early age signs of infantilism and a decrease in the level of behavioral motivation are difficult to detect. Therefore, mental infantilism is usually talked about only starting from school and adolescence, when the corresponding features begin to appear more clearly.

One of the most important factors in the development of mental infantilism is a person’s parents, who do not take the person seriously enough in childhood, not allowing them to make independent decisions - thereby limiting the teenager’s (but not the child’s) freedom. That is, the parents themselves may be to blame for the infantilism of a person born normal.

Typical for infantile children are the predominance of play interests over academic ones, rejection of school situations and related disciplinary requirements. It leads to school maladjustment, and in the future - to social problems. However, infantile children are very different from mentally retarded or autistic children. They are distinguished by a higher level of abstraction logical thinking, are able to transfer learned concepts to new specific tasks, are more productive and independent. The dynamics of the emerging intellectual deficiency in infantilism is characterized by favorability with a tendency to smooth out impairments in cognitive activity.

Simple infantilism should be distinguished from disharmonious infantilism, which can lead to psychopathy.

see also

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Synonyms:

See what “Infantility” is in other dictionaries:

immaturity- and, f. infantile adj. 1. Infantile state. Ush. 1934. Painful underdevelopment. Infantile physique. ALS 1. 2. Faking the child's behavior. Infantility in habits. Lex. Ush. 1934: infantility... Historical Dictionary Gallicisms of the Russian language

1. childishness; childishness, childishness (colloquial) 2. see underdevelopment Dictionary of synonyms of the Russian language. Practical guide. M.: Russian language. Z. E. Alexandrova. 2011. infantilism... Synonym dictionary

INFANTILITY, infantilism, many. no, female (book). distracted noun to infantile; infantile state. Ushakov's explanatory dictionary. D.N. Ushakov. 1935 1940 … Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

INFANTILE, oh, oh; flax, flax. Ozhegov's explanatory dictionary. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 … Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

J. abstract noun according to adj. infantile 2. Explanatory dictionary of Efremova. T. F. Efremova. 2000... Modern Dictionary Russian language Efremova

Infantility, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism, infantility, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism (Source: “Full accentuated paradigm on ... ... Forms of words

Infancy- Childlike (juvenile). Infantilism is a trace of evolutionary paedomorphism in certain racial types, however, the term can also apply to a specific individual. that is, childish, or having a number of inappropriate conditions for a given age... ... Physical Anthropology. Illustrated explanatory dictionary.

immaturity- infantilism, and... Russian spelling dictionary

Infancy- (from Latin infantilis infantile, childish) manifestation in the psyche and behavior of military personnel of characteristics inherent in childhood or adolescence... Psychological and pedagogical dictionary of a naval unit teacher officer

immaturity- see infantile; And; and. Infantile physique. Infantile behavior. Show your childishness in everything... Dictionary of many expressions

Books

• Personality of a politician: theory and methodology of psychological portraiture, Nikolai Mitrofanovich Rakityansky. This publication summarizes domestic and foreign experience in building psychological portrait personality politician. The history of the phenomenon and the concept of psychological portrait and...

54 622 0 Most adults, accomplished people remember with special warmth and joy days gone by of your childhood. To return, albeit mentally, to this difficult and colorful period, to experience key points growing up and feeling like a pioneer again is a priceless gift to our memory. But what to do if a person has never overcome the necessary boundaries, remains captive of childhood ideas about the world and continues to live like an adult child? Is infantilism a problem of our time or the absence of stereotypes and a powerful potential for development?

– this is childishness, immaturity or underdevelopment of the psyche.

Infantile man - this is a person whose behavior is dominated by immature behavior, unwillingness to take responsibility and make decisions independently, lack of life goals and the desire to change something in himself and in his life in general.

Infantile personality disorder refers to the presence in an adult of traits and behavior characteristic of a child. Psychologists claim that such a disorder occurs most often in their practice and is the basis for other problems in the subject’s life.

This problem became especially acute after 1990, when the value system in our country underwent a change. Schools stopped taking on the function of education, and parents did not have time for this, because they had to adapt to the new conditions of existence of the nascent state.

Types of infantilism

1. Mental infantilism(psychological infantilism). Slow growth of the child. His mental qualities are formed late and do not correspond to his age. This disorder has nothing to do with mental retardation.
2. Physiological infantilism. Slow or impaired bodily development due to oxygen deprivation or infection of the fetus during pregnancy.

Signs of infantility

The infantile life of the subject manifests itself in different levels existence: from relation to own health, to ideas about marriage and the process of creating a family. The character and thinking of an infantile person is not much different from the character and thinking of a child. The immaturity of the subject is manifested from both psychological and social perspectives. Let us list the following main signs of infantilism, which can manifest themselves both together and separately:

• Lack of independence.
• Inability to make independent decisions.
• Lack of desire to solve problems like adults.
• Lack of desire to develop.
• Lack of goals in life.
• Selfishness and egocentricity.
• Unpredictability.
• Inadequacy.
• Irresponsibility.
• Tendency to dependency.
• Dependent tendencies.
• Staying in your own world (perception disturbances).
• Difficulty in communication.
• Failure to adapt.
• Physical inactivity.
• Small income.
• Lack of social promotion.

Accommodator and dependent

Infants are in no hurry to take responsibility. They hide behind the backs of their parents, wives, and friends.

Playfully

From infancy, a child discovers the world through play. The infant lives by playing: endless parties, online games, excessive shopaholism, frequently changing his favorite gadgets (even if he cannot afford them), etc.

An infantile person is closed in on his personality, but at the same time he is not accustomed to complex thoughts and does not delve into introspection and introspection. Because of this, it is difficult for him to understand what another person is feeling, it is difficult to believe that people perceive the world differently. This results in the inability to take into account the interests of others. Therefore, such people often experience certain difficulties in communicating with others. It is difficult for them to make contact. They use the phrase “ no body understands me" However, they themselves do not make an effort to understand others.

Lack of life goals

“When will I give birth to grandchildren? What am I aiming for? Why are you loading me!? I'm fine as it is! I haven’t had enough of a walk yet” - this is the position of an infantile person.

An infantile personality is not able to analyze certain situations and predict their development, does not think about the future, and does not make plans. Infantility illustrates itself especially well when a person is not able to build certain strategies in his behavior to solve problems and achieve goals. At the same time, such a person, when achieving a goal, tries to avoid complex patterns of behavior (requiring effort and time) accepted in society, and is content exclusively with those results that can satisfy his immediate needs. Thus, immaturity – this is also the inability to build multi-step combinations in behavior.

"Where the legs grow from"

To understand what's in front of us infantile personality, it is necessary first of all to pay attention to her relationship with her parents. If communication with them is built on an equal footing and the subject shows concern for them, then this is a good sign. If there is an active invasion of the subject’s space by parents, surrounding him with excessive care, manifestation of obsessive behavior, and at the same time the person is not able to interrupt this flow of parental care, postpone their communication to another day and is loyal to such unhealthy attention, then this is an alarm bell, which signals that we have before us a kind of Peter Pan - a Disney hero who did not want to grow up.

“The main concern in life is to achieve a carefree life”

Signs of infantilism can also be seen in situations where a person constantly strives to shift responsibility to others. Responsibility is a quality that is opposite to infantility. The infantile personality type often demonstrates carefree behavior, tries on the mask of a jester, and strives to have more fun and entertain others. However, other moods may live inside him, but despite this, he will continue to play the role of a clown, due to the fact that such a role as the “soul of the party” carries minimal responsibility.

From a social point of view, the infantile subject will almost always be low-income, he will have difficulties in finding a job, in moving up the career ladder.

Even on physiological level infantilism leaves its mark. Such people have a specific facial expression with a tinge of contempt or irony. The corners of the lips are lowered, the folds of the nasolabial triangle are frozen, as if in disgust for something.

When does infantilism begin?

Psychologists believe that infantilism arises under unfavorable upbringing conditions in the period from 8 to 15 years. On initial stages the problem of infantility manifests itself in the form of hysterics, manipulation, disobedience to parents, and an irresponsible approach to the learning process.

Psychologists believe that the causes of infantilism should be sought in childhood, family and upbringing. Sometimes parents, being infantile themselves, set a bad example for their children. They cause the child to become immature. Infantility in adults leaves its mark on their offspring. But also the excessive influence of parents, and other errors in upbringing, when a parent seeks to impose strong emotional connections on a child, despotically deprives him of independence, and sometimes even prevents him from expressing his opinion, lead to sad consequences. This behavior is primarily associated with an exaggerated desire to control one’s children, their fate and development.

Fear for one's offspring in our society sometimes takes on grotesque forms, leading to this kind of violation - complete submission and fixation of the child's thinking on the parent. On the other hand, there is an ethically unjustified position of the parent towards the child, which leads to the appearance of the so-called. Cinderella syndrome. In this case, a person has children solely for selfish reasons, deliberately placing the child’s development in “ Procrustean bed» service to oneself or one’s ideas.

Constant pressure of this kind, elevated to the Absolute, smoothly flows into a person’s adult life. It is very difficult for parents to change their minds and stop seeing their child in an adult and change the behavior patterns associated with him. His mother or father continues to follow him relentlessly, bombarding him with calls, loading him with a hundred pieces of advice, getting into his personal life. A full-fledged personality meets such aggressive guardianship with severe resistance. However, an infantile person accepts and easily comes to terms with it, justifying such an invasion of personal space parental love. In fact, there is a substitution of concepts, and “love for parents” hides the fear of responsibility and independence.

Sooner or later, an erroneous approach to education will lead to an association between parent and child. The psychological space of the first will gradually merge with the psychological space of the second, uniting two separate social and psychological units “I” and “she” (“he”) into one single “we”. An infantile person will not be able to act separately, outside of this connection.

However modern problem infantilism is also a problem of lack of time. Raising a child requires constant focus on its development. Not all parents can afford this due to constant employment. In this case, parental influence is replaced by other things:

• watching movies,
• computer,
• listening to music.
• etc.

Such a surrogate of upbringing does not bring much benefit, but, on the contrary, develops in the child the illusion of permissiveness and a manipulative approach to others.

Psychologists also throw stones at the modern school education system. According to experts, today's schools are “maiming children.” Every person has a so-called sensitive periods in development, when he is most open to receiving the information he needs and learning the necessary skills (upright walking, speech, etc.). The school period, which coincides with the sensitive period of learning social norms(from 7 to 14 years old), unfortunately, is considered unfavorable for growing up.

Today's schools concentrate exclusively on knowledge about general education subjects, discarding the process of education. The teenager does not receive the necessary understanding of “ what is good and what is bad" Such a gap in the moral development of the individual perpetuates infantile patterns, ultimately leading to immaturity. From the age of 14, a sensitive period begins in which the individual strives for independence. School bench again does not allow him to realize this desire, limiting it to the framework of education. Thus, missed periods of personality development lead to desocialization and lack of independence - the main signs of infantilism.

How does infantility manifest in men, women, and children?

Infantilism has gender differentiation. Both men and women can suffer from it. Experts say that male infantility is no different from female one. The bulk of the differences in the manifestation of infantilism between the sexes and different age groups lies in the social views of these groups.

Gender sign of infantilism takes place: both a man and a woman can be infantile. In this case, the symptoms of the problem have few differences, however, it acquires its own characteristics if you look at it through the prism of social attitudes. Society makes more demands on a man. Infantile man is more often condemned in society than infantile woman (compare the phraseological units “mama’s boy” and “ father's daughter"and pay attention to the presence of a greater negative connotation in the first in relation to the second).

Infantility in men indicates an unreliable economic condition, an inability to find a soul mate, start a family and provide for it.

Others often turn a blind eye to the immaturity of women, and sometimes encourage the girl to be a little childish. This is due to the fact that a man often enjoys being in the company of a dependent woman who needs to be taken care of, thereby strengthening and emphasizing his status as a breadwinner and reputation as a leader. And a woman, in turn, is often impressed by the role of a dependent and follower, who has her own “master,” which greatly facilitates her existence in terms of decision-making and corresponds to the gender role established in society.

Infantility in children

However, the beginnings of immaturity can also be seen in a child. Infantilism is something that should be inherent in children and this is quite normal. Nevertheless, one can predict the tendency to transfer this state into adulthood if one pays attention to the attitude of parents towards their child. If he constantly avoids obligations and responsibilities, and his parents indulge him in this, then there is every chance that he will grow up immature. Also, the predominance of the gaming sphere over the educational sphere in a child’s life can have a bad effect on his development.

Infantility in children, which manifests itself during school, can alert teachers. In this case, they talk about the presence of prerequisites that signal a problem with growing up. Such factors include the predominance of gaming motives in classes, restlessness, difficulty concentrating, emotional instability, emotional immaturity, and hysteria. Often such children cannot join in general work in class: they ask abstract questions and do not complete assignments. Their social circle consists of children younger than themselves. This may indicate slow development of the child (psychological infantilism) and lead to problems in personality development. Such children often become withdrawn and suffer from neuroses.

Is infantilism a problem or not?!

Psychologists do not allow themselves to be led into temptation in order to somehow justify infantilism. For them, this is not a separate way of life, not a different view of the world, and certainly not belonging to any subculture. According to experts, this is precisely a problem characterized primarily by the inability to achieve success in personal self-realization within one or another social framework.

It is worth noting that despite the unsuitability for adult life, such people often demonstrate high creative potential. An infantile lifestyle, which often takes place against the background of the absence of any boundaries and self-restraints, stimulates the work of the right hemisphere of the human brain. Increased activity creative center leads to daydreaming, immersion in fantasy. Such people can be good artists or musicians.

"Children cannot have children." Sergei Shnurov about infantility and who a mature man is.

How does infantility manifest itself in relationships?

Any contacts of an infantile person with psychologically mature people will cause irritation on their part and lead to conflicts. An accomplished person expects from his environment the same adequate actions that guide him. An immature subject who does not have the ability to perceive clearly the world and adapt to circumstances, will cause a full-fledged individual some difficulties in communicating with himself and even irritation towards himself.

An incorrect parenting strategy leaves an indelible mark on a person’s psyche. Therefore, when communicating with people, such a person will unconsciously be drawn to those who will take the position of a parent towards him. Indeed, in other cases, his infantility in relationships will only encounter conflicts.

So, for example, when looking for a mate, infantile boys or girls will first of all strive to find themselves a second mother or second father, respectively (often their parents do this for them, acting as a matchmaker). If they succeed, and a partner who will fully play the role they need is found, then we can talk about a successful coincidence of circumstances.

Typically, the chosen ones of such people are older, socially active individuals. However, in this case the conflict will not disappear. It automatically flows into the plane of the relationship of the new “mom” or new “dad” with the biological parents of the infantile subject. A competitive struggle for custody of the “child” may develop between them. The winners of this struggle are usually the real mothers or fathers, who manage to push aside their wives or husbands and take their usual dominant position over their child. Naturally, in this case, the conflict will also affect the young family, often leading to its disintegration.

An infantile person is perfectly aware of his situation and the problems that arise from it. In part, he even admits that he lives an unfulfilling life and does not deny the suffering he experiences associated with this. However, psychologists believe that not a single immature subject will ever change on his own. It is difficult for him to take independent steps towards positive changes, to leave his comfort zone.

How to deal with immaturity? Psychologists say that it is useless for non-specialists to try to change such people. If mothers and fathers have not taught their child to be independent at the stages when these foundations are being laid, and their child has grown up as an insecure and helpless person, then only a psychologist can help here.

Therefore, if the problem was discovered in the early stages (in adolescence), then you should not delay visiting a specialist. Positive changes can only be achieved through group consultations from a psychologist. Moreover, what older man, the harder it will be for him to change.

In order not to bring this problem to the psychologist’s office, parents must properly organize the upbringing process. There are techniques that psychologists share, telling how to get rid of immaturity:

1. Consult with your child, ask his opinion, discuss certain problems. Discuss the family budget together. This will increase his confidence and make it clear that he is on an equal footing with his parents, both in terms of rights and responsibility.
2. Don't let your child close himself off in his comfort zone. Find out what difficulties he is experiencing. From time to time, create a situation in which he will experience difficulties so that he can overcome them on his own.
3. Give the child to sports section. Children who play sports statistically become more responsible and purposeful.
4. Encourage your child to communicate with peers and older people.
5. Work on your mistakes. Explain in which situations the child was right and in which he was wrong.
6. Avoid thinking in terms of “we” in relation to children. Divide this concept into “I” and “you”. This will allow them to be more independent.
7. Childhood infantilism can be corrected with medication. A neuropsychiatrist can prescribe medications (nootropics) that improve brain activity, memory, and concentration.

Here are some tips from a psychologist that will show how to grow up as a man or how to grow up as a girl:

1. Realize and accept the fact that you are an infantile person.
2. Intentionally put yourself in a situation that requires you to make your own decision: take a job where there will be some responsibility.
3. Get a pet that you have to take care of and look after. This will lead to a gradual habituation to responsibility.
4. Ask loved ones not to indulge their infantilism.
5. Get out of your comfort zone - move to another city, start a new life.

Today, in our country there is a clear bias towards female education. At school we are taught by a woman, at home by our mother and grandmother, at the university women teachers predominate... The image of a man, a father, a protector, a breadwinner and the war fades away, which bears fruit - boys are not able to make decisions, get married late, get divorced, cannot build a career.

Solution: it is necessary to restore the harmony of the masculine and feminine principles. Scold your father on the sidelines, but never in front of a child. Give your child the opportunity to solve life’s problems on his own: offer your child the opportunity to decide what shoes to wear for a walk, allow your teenager to help you nail a nail, or the opportunity to decide where to hang a shelf for him.

It has long been discovered that there are three hypostases living in us:

• child,
• adult,
• parent.

Each of these aspects of personality requires expression from time to time in order for a person to feel comfortable. However, if you focus on one of them, it will not bring happiness. Living life while remaining young at heart is partly an achievement. Nevertheless, for a full life, you cannot play the role of only a child, turning into an infant, or forever take the position of a parent, becoming a strict controller. This world lives by its own rules, and it is our responsibility to adapt to them. However, such adaptation is possible only if a balance is maintained between our hypostases.

Why are there more and more infantile men and women?

Today we will examine a completely controversial topic - infantilism. The term “infantility” comes from the word “infant”.

From Wikipedia: Infant, female uniform Infanta (Spanish infante, Port infant) is the title of all princes and princesses of the royal house in Spain and Portugal.

Infantilism (from Latin infantilis - children's)- this is immaturity in development, the preservation in physical appearance or behavior of traits inherent in previous age stages.

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In a figurative sense, infantilism (as childishness) is a manifestation of a naive approach in everyday life, in politics, in relationships, etc.

For a more complete picture, it should be noted that infantilism can be mental and psychological. And their main difference is not the external manifestation, but the reasons for their occurrence.

The external manifestations of mental and psychological infantilism are similar and are expressed in the manifestation of childish traits in behavior, thinking, and emotional reactions.

To understand the difference between mental and psychological infantilism, it is necessary to understand the causes of its occurrence.

Mental infantilism

It arises due to lag and delay in the child’s psyche. In other words, there is a delay in the formation of personality, caused by a delay in development in the emotional and volitional spheres. The emotional-volitional sphere is the basis on which personality is built. Without such a base, a person, in principle, cannot grow up and at any age remains an “eternal” child.

It should also be noted here that infantile children differ from mentally retarded or autistic children. Their mental sphere may be developed, they may have high level abstract-logical thinking, able to apply acquired knowledge, be intellectually developed and independent.

Mental infantilism cannot be identified in early childhood, it can only be noticed when a school-age or teenage child’s play interests begin to prevail over academic ones.

In other words, the child’s interest is limited only to games and fantasies; everything that goes beyond the boundaries of this world is not accepted, not explored and is perceived as something unpleasant, complex, alien imposed from the outside.

Behavior becomes primitive and predictable; from any disciplinary requirements, the child retreats even further into the world of play and fantasy. Over time, this leads to problems of social adaptation.

As an example, a child can play on the computer for hours, sincerely not understanding why he needs to brush his teeth, make his bed, or go to school. Everything outside the game is alien, unnecessary, incomprehensible.

It should be noted that parents may be to blame for the infantilism of a person born normal. A frivolous attitude towards a child in childhood, a ban on a teenager making independent decisions, and a constant restriction of his freedom precisely lead to underdevelopment of the emotional-volitional sphere.

Psychological infantilism

With psychological infantilism, the child has a healthy psyche, without delays. He may well correspond to his developmental age, but in practice this does not happen, because for a number of reasons he chooses the role of a child in his behavior.

In general, the main difference between mental infantilism and psychological infantilism can be expressed as follows:

Mental infantilism: I can’t, even if I want to.

Psychological infantilism: I don’t want to, even if I can.

The general theory is clear. Now more specifically.

How does infantilism appear?

According to psychologists, infantilism is not an innate quality, but acquired through upbringing. So what do parents and educators do that makes a child grow up infantile?

Again, according to psychologists, infantilism develops in the period from 8 to 12 years. Let's not argue, but simply observe how this happens.

In the period from 8 to 12 years, a child can already take responsibility for his actions. But in order for a child to begin to take independent actions, he needs to be trusted. This is where the main “evil” lies, which leads to infantilism.

Here are some examples of education of infantilism:

• “Are you having trouble writing an essay? I’ll help, I used to write essays well,” says my mother.

• “I know better what’s right!”

• “You will listen to your mother, and everything will be fine.”

• “What opinion can you have!”

• “I said so it will be!”

• “Your hands are growing from the wrong place!”

• “Yes, everything is always like no other for you.”

• “Go away, I’ll do it myself.”

• “Well, of course, whatever he doesn’t take on, he’ll break everything!”

This is how parents gradually lay programs into their children. Some children, of course, will go against it and do it their own way, but they may receive such pressure that the desire to do anything will disappear altogether, and forever.

Over the years, a child may believe that his parents are right, that he is a failure, that he cannot do anything right, and that others can do it much better. And if feelings and emotions are still suppressed, the child will never get to know them and then his emotional sphere will not be developed.

• “You’ll still make me cry here!”

• “Why are you yelling? Hurt? You have to be patient."

• "Boys never cry!"

• “Why are you screaming like crazy.”

All this can be characterized by the following phrase: “Child, don’t interfere with our lives.” Unfortunately, this is the main requirement of parents for children to be quiet, obedient and not interfere. So why then be surprised that infantilism is widespread?

By and large, parents unconsciously suppress both the will and feelings in the child.

This is one of the options. But there are others. For example, when a mother raises her son (or daughter) alone. She begins to take care of the child more than he needs. She wants him to grow up to be very famous, to prove to the whole world what a talent he is, so that his mother can be proud of him.

The key word is that the mother could be proud. In this case, you don’t even think about the child, the main thing is to satisfy your ambitions. Such a mother will be happy to find for her child an activity that he will like, will put all his strength and money into it, and will take on all the difficulties that may arise during such a hobby.

So talented children grow up, but they are not adapted to anything. It’s good if later there is a woman who wants to serve this talent. And if not? And if it also turns out that there is essentially no talent. Can you guess what awaits such a child in life? And my mother will grieve: “Well, why am I like this! I did so much for him!” Yes, not for him, but FOR HIM, that’s why he is like this.

Another example when parents dote on their child. Since childhood, all he hears is how wonderful he is, how talented, how smart, and everything like that. The child’s self-esteem becomes so high that he is sure that he deserves more and simply will not put in any work to achieve this more.

His parents will do everything for him and will watch with admiration how he breaks toys (he is so inquisitive), how he hurts children in the yard (he is so strong), etc. And when faced with real difficulties in life, he will deflate like a bubble.

Another very shining example the emergence of infantilism, a stormy divorce of parents, when the child feels unwanted. Parents sort out the relationship between themselves, and the child becomes a hostage of this relationship.

All the strength and energy of the parents is directed towards “annoying” the other side. The child does not understand what is really happening and often begins to take responsibility for himself - dad left because of me, I was bad son(daughter).

This burden becomes exorbitant and suppression of the emotional sphere occurs when the child does not understand what is happening to him, and there is no adult nearby who would help him understand himself and what is happening. The child begins to “withdraw into himself,” become isolated and live in own world where he feels comfortable and good. Real world is presented as something frightening, evil and unacceptable.

I think that you yourself can give many such examples, and maybe you even recognize yourself or your parents in some ways. Any result of upbringing that leads to suppression of the emotional-volitional sphere leads to infantilism.

Just don’t rush to blame your parents for everything. This is very convenient and this is also one of the forms of manifestation of immaturity. Better look at what you are doing with your children now.

You see, in order to develop a personality, you yourself need to be a personality. And in order for a conscious child to grow up nearby, the parents must also be conscious. But is this really so?

Do you take out irritation on your children for your unresolved problems (suppression of the emotional sphere)? Are you trying to impose your vision of life on your children (suppression of the volitional sphere)?

We unconsciously make the same mistakes that our parents made, and if we are not aware of them, then our children will make the same mistakes in raising their own children. Alas, this is true.

Once again for understanding:

Mental infantilism is an undeveloped emotional-volitional sphere;

Psychological infantilism is a suppressed emotional-volitional sphere.

How does infantilism manifest?

Manifestations of mental and psychological infantilism are almost the same. The difference between them is that with mental infantilism a person cannot consciously and independently change his behavior, even if he has a motive.

And with psychological infantilism, a person can change his behavior when a motive appears, but most often he does not change out of a desire to leave everything as it is.

let's consider specific examples manifestations of infantilism.

A person has achieved success in science or art, but in everyday life he turns out to be completely unsuited. In his activities, he feels like an adult and competent, but an absolute child in everyday life and in relationships. And he tries to find someone who will take over that area of ​​life in which he can remain a child.

Adult sons and daughters continue to live with their parents and do not start families of their own. With parents everything is familiar and familiar, you can remain an eternal child for whom everything will be decided everyday problems.

Starting your own family means taking responsibility for your life and facing certain difficulties.

Suppose that it becomes unbearable to live with your parents, they also begin to demand something. If someone else appears in a person’s life to whom responsibility can be shifted, then he will leave his parents’ home and will continue to lead the same lifestyle as with his parents - not taking on anything and not being responsible for anything.

Only infantilism can push a man or woman to leave their family, to neglect their obligations in order to try to regain their lost youth.

Constantly changing jobs due to unwillingness to make efforts or acquiring mythical experience.

The search for a “savior” or a “magic pill” are also signs of infantilism.

The main criterion can be called the inability and unwillingness to take responsibility for one’s life, not to mention the lives of loved ones. And as they wrote in the comments: “the worst thing is to be with a person and know that you cannot rely on him at a critical moment! Such people create families, give birth to children and shift responsibility onto other shoulders!”

What does infantilism look like?

It is not always possible to determine at first glance whether the person in front of you is childish or not. Infantility will begin to manifest itself in interaction, and especially at critical moments in life, when a person seems to slow down, does not make any decisions and expects someone to take responsibility for him.

Infantile people can be compared to eternal children who don’t really care about anything. Moreover, not only are they not interested in other people, but they also don’t want to take care of themselves (psychological infantilism) or cannot (mental) take care of themselves.

If we talk about male infantilism, then this is definitely the behavior of a child who needs not a woman, but a mother who takes care of him. Many women fall for this bait, and then begin to be indignant: “Why should I do it all the time? And earn money, and maintain a house, and take care of children, and build relationships. Is there even a man nearby?

The question immediately arises: “A man? Who did you marry? Who initiated the acquaintance and meetings? Who made the decisions on how and where to spend the evening together? Who was always figuring out where to go and what to do?” These questions are endless.

If from the very beginning you took everything upon yourself, invented and did everything yourself, and the man simply obediently did it, then did you really marry an ADULT MAN? It seems to me that you were marrying a CHILD. Only you were so in love that you didn’t notice it right away.

What to do

This is the most main question which arises. Let's first look at it in relation to the child, if you are parents. Then in relation to an adult who continues to remain a child throughout life. (This issue is discussed in the article What to do if you have an infantile husband. Ed.)

And lastly, if you saw traits of infantilism in yourself and decided to change something in yourself, but don’t know how.

1. What to do if you have an infantile child growing up.

Let's think together - what do you want to get as a result of raising a child, what are you doing and what needs to be done to get the desired result?

The task of every parent is to adapt the child as much as possible to independent life without parents and teach him to live in interaction with other people so that he can create his own happy family.

There are several mistakes that result in the development of infantilism. Here are some of them.

Mistake 1. Sacrifice

This mistake manifests itself when parents begin to live for their children, trying to give the child the best, so that he has everything, so that he is dressed no worse than others, so that he studies at the institute, while denying himself everything.

One’s own life seems to become unimportant compared to the child’s life. Parents can work several jobs, be malnourished, lack sleep, not take care of themselves and their health, as long as the child is doing well, as long as he learns and grows up as a human being. Most often, single parents do this.

At first glance, it seems that the parents put their whole soul into the child, but the result is disastrous, the child grows up unable to appreciate his parents and the care they gave.

What's really going on? From an early age, a child gets used to the fact that his parents live and work only for his well-being. He gets used to getting everything ready. The question arises: if a person is used to getting everything ready, will he then be able to do something for himself or will he wait for someone to do it for him?

And at the same time, not just wait, but demand with your behavior that you must, because there is no experience of doing something on your own, and it was the parents who did not give this experience, because everything was always for him and only for his sake. He seriously does not understand why it should be different and how this is even possible.

And the child does not understand why and for what he should be grateful to his parents, if this was how it should have been. Sacrificing yourself means ruining both your life and the life of a child.

What to do. You need to start with yourself, learn to value yourself and your life. If parents do not value their lives, the child will take this for granted and will also not value the lives of their parents, and, consequently, the lives of other people. For him, living for his sake will become the rule in relationships, he will use others and consider this absolutely normal behavior, because that’s how he was taught, he simply doesn’t know how to do it any other way.

Think about it: is your child interested in being with you if you have nothing to give other than taking care of him? If nothing happens in your life, what could attract a child to share your interests, to feel like a member of a community - a family?

And is it worth it then to be surprised if the child finds entertainment on the side such as drinking, drugs, mindless partying, etc., he is used to only receiving what is given to him. And how can he be proud of you and respect you if you are nothing of yourself, if all your interests are only around him?

Mistake 2. “I’ll clear the clouds with my hands” or I’ll solve all the problems for you

This mistake manifests itself in pity when parents decide that the child has enough problems for a lifetime, and at least let him remain a child with them. And in the end, an eternal child. Pity may be caused by mistrust that the child can take care of himself in some way. And mistrust again arises due to the fact that the child has not been taught to take care of himself.

What it looks like:

• “You’re tired, rest, I’ll finish it.”

• “You still have time to work hard! Let me do it for you."

• “You still have homework to do, okay, go, I’ll wash the dishes myself.”

• “We need to agree with Marivanna so that she tells who needs it so that you can go to study without any problems.”

And everything like that.

By and large, parents begin to feel sorry for their child, he is tired, he has huge pressure, he is small, does not know life. And the fact that parents themselves do not rest and their workload is no less, and not everyone themselves once knew, is somehow forgotten about.

All Homework, the arrangement in life falls on the shoulders of the parents. “This is my child, if I don’t take pity on him, don’t do something for him (read: for him), who else will take care of him? And after some time, when the child gets used to the fact that everything will be done for him, the parents wonder why the child is not adapted to anything and they have to do everything themselves. But for him this is already the norm of behavior.

What does this lead to? The child, if it is a boy, will look for the same wife, behind whose back he can settle down warmly and hide from life’s adversities. She will feed you, wash you and earn money; she is warm and reliable.

If the child is a girl, then she will look for a man who will play the role of dad, who will solve all her problems for her, support her and not burden her with anything.

What to do. First, pay attention to what your child is doing and what household chores he performs. If not any, then first of all it is necessary that the child also have his own responsibilities.

It is not so difficult to teach a child to take out the trash, wash the dishes, put away toys and things, and keep his room in order. But responsibilities must not just be assigned, but taught how and what needs to be done and explained why. Under no circumstances should a similar phrase be heard: “The main thing is to study well, this is your responsibility, and I will do everything around the house myself.”

He must be held accountable for his duties. Whether the child is tired or not, it doesn’t matter, in the end, he can rest and fulfill his duties, this is his responsibility. Isn't that what you do yourself? Is someone doing something for you? Your task is to learn not to feel sorry and not to do work for him if you want him not to grow up childish. It is pity and distrust that a child can do something well on his own that does not provide the opportunity to develop the volitional sphere.

Error 3. Excessive love, expressed in constant admiration, affection, elevation above others and permissiveness

What could this lead to? Moreover, he will never learn to love (and therefore give), including his parents. At first glance, it will seem that he knows how to love, but all his love, it is conditional and only in response, and with any remark, doubt about his “genius” or in the absence of admiration, it will “disappear.”

As a result of such upbringing, the child is confident that the whole world should admire and indulge him. And if this does not happen, then everyone around is bad, incapable of love. Although he is the one who is incapable of love, he was not taught this.

As a result, he will choose a defensive phrase: “I am who I am and accept me as I am, if I don’t like it, I won’t accept it.” He will take the love of others calmly, for granted, and, having no response within, will hurt those who love him, including his parents.

This is often perceived as a manifestation of selfishness, but the problem is much deeper; such a child has an underdeveloped emotional sphere. He simply has nothing to love. Being in the spotlight all the time, he did not learn to trust his feelings and the child did not develop a sincere interest in other people.

Another option is when parents “protect” their child who has hit the threshold in this way: “Oh, what a bad threshold, it offended our boy!” From childhood, a child is taught that everyone around him is to blame for his troubles.

What to do. Again, it is necessary to start with the parents, for whom it is also time to grow up and stop seeing their child as a toy, an object of adoration. A child is an independent, autonomous person who, in order to develop, needs to be in the real world, and not the world invented by his parents.

The child must see and experience the whole gamut of feelings and emotions without running away or suppressing them. And the task of parents is to learn to respond adequately to the manifestation of emotions, not to prohibit, not to calm unnecessarily, but to sort out all the situations that caused negative emotions.

It is not at all necessary that someone else is “bad” and that’s why your child is crying, look at the situation as a whole, what your child did wrong, teach him not to focus on himself, but to meet people halfway, showing sincere interest in them and find ways out of difficult situations without blaming others and yourself. But for this, as I already wrote, parents themselves need to grow up.

Mistake 4. Clear guidelines and rules

Most parents find it very convenient when an obedient child grows up nearby, clearly following the instructions “do this”, “don’t do that”, “don’t be friends with this boy”, “in this case do this”, etc.

They believe that all education is about command and submission. But they don’t think at all that they are depriving the child of the ability to think independently and take responsibility for his actions.

As a result, they raise a soulless and thoughtless robot who needs clear instructions. And then they themselves suffer from the fact that if they didn’t say something, the child didn’t do it. Here, not only the volitional, but also the emotional sphere is suppressed, because the child does not need to notice the emotional states of both his own and other people, and it becomes the norm for him to act only according to instructions. The child lives in constant obsessiveness and complete emotional neglect.

What does this lead to? A person does not learn to think and becomes unable to think on his own, he constantly needs someone who will give him clear instructions on what, how and when to do, he will always have others to blame, those who did not “correct” his behavior, did not say what to do and how to proceed.

Such people will never show initiative and will always wait for clear and specific instructions. They will not be able to solve any complex problems.

What to do in such cases? Learn to trust your child, let him do something wrong, you will just sort out the situation later and find it together correct solution, together, not for him. Talk to your child more, ask him to express his opinion, don’t make fun of him if you don’t like his opinion.

And most importantly, do not criticize, but analyze the situation, what was done wrong and how it could have been done differently, constantly asking for the child’s opinion. In other words, the child must be taught to think and reflect.

Mistake 5. “I myself know what the child needs”

This error is a variation of the fourth error. And it lies in the fact that parents do not listen to the true desires of the child. The child’s wishes are perceived as momentary whims, but this is not quite the same thing.

Whims are fleeting desires, but true desires are what a child dreams of. The purpose of such parental behavior is for the child to realize what the parents themselves could not realize (options include family traditions, fictional images of the future child). By and large, they make a “second self” out of the child.

Once upon a time, in childhood, such parents dreamed of becoming musicians, famous athletes, great mathematicians, and now they are trying to realize their childhood dreams through their child. As a result, the child cannot find for himself favorite hobby, and if it does, then the parents take it with hostility: “I know better what you need, so you will do what I tell you.”

What does this lead to? Moreover, the child will never have a goal at all, he will never learn to understand his desires, and will always be dependent on the desires of others and is unlikely to achieve any success in realizing the desires of his parents. He will always feel “out of place.”

What to do. Learn to listen to your child’s wishes, be interested in what he dreams of, what attracts him, teach him to express his desires out loud. Observe what attracts your child, what he enjoys doing. Never compare your child with others.

Remember, the desire for your child to become a musician, artist, famous athlete, mathematician - these are your desires, not the child's. Trying to instill your desires in a child, you will make him deeply unhappy or achieve the opposite result.

Mistake 6. “Boys don’t cry”

The inability of the parents themselves to express their emotions leads to the fact that the child’s emotions begin to be suppressed. There is a ban on strong experiences of positive and negative emotions corresponding to the real situation, since the parents themselves do not know how to react to them.

And if you don’t know something, then often the choice is made towards leaving or banning it. As a result, by forbidding the child to express his emotions, parents by and large forbid the child to feel, and ultimately, to live life to the fullest.

What does this lead to? Growing up, a child cannot understand himself, and he needs a “guide” who will explain to him what he feels. He will trust this person and completely depend on his opinion. This is where conflicts arise between a man’s mother and wife.

The mother will say one thing, and the wife another, and each will prove that exactly what she says is what the man feels. As a result, the man simply steps aside, giving the women the opportunity to “sort things out” among themselves.

What is really happening to him, he does not know and will follow the decision of the one who wins this war. As a result, he will always live someone else's life, but not his own, and when he does not get to know himself.

What to do. Allow your child to cry, laugh, express himself emotionally, do not rush to reassure him in this way: “Okay, okay, everything will work out,” “boys don’t cry,” etc. When a child is in pain, do not hide from his feelings, make it clear that you would also be in pain in a similar situation, and you understand him.

Show empathy, let the child get acquainted with the whole range of feelings without suppression. If he is happy about something, rejoice with him, if he is sad, listen to what worries him. Show interest in your child's inner life.

Mistake 7. Transferring your emotional state to the child

Often parents transfer their unsettledness and dissatisfaction with life onto the child. This is expressed in constant nagging, raising the voice, and sometimes simply lashing out at the child.

The child becomes hostage to the parent's dissatisfaction and is unable to resist him. This leads to the child “switching off”, suppressing his emotional sphere and choosing psychological protection from the parent “withdrawal”.

What does this lead to? Growing up, the child stops “hearing”, closes down, and often simply forgets what was said to him, perceiving any words addressed to him as an attack. He has to repeat the same thing ten times in order for him to hear or give some kind of feedback. feedback.

From the outside, this looks like indifference or disregard for the words of others. It is difficult to come to an understanding with such a person, because he never expresses his opinion, and more often than not this opinion simply does not exist.

What to do. Remember: it is not your child’s fault that your life is not going the way you want. The fact that you don't get what you want is your problem, not his fault. If you need to let off steam, find more environmentally friendly ways - polish the floors, rearrange the furniture, go to the pool, increase physical activity.

Uncleaned toys and unwashed dishes are not the reason for your breakdown, but only the reason, the reason is within you. In the end, teaching your child to tidy up toys and wash dishes is your responsibility.

I showed only the main errors, but there are many more.

The main condition for your child not to grow up infantile is to recognize him as an independent and free person, show your trust and sincere love (not to be confused with adoration), support, not violence.

Instructions

Becoming an adult with a passport, an infantile person is not ready to build relationships with other members of society; it is difficult for him to find a job for the same reason. Everything would be fine, but such people get married early, and now all the care for them falls on their spouse. In marriage, all the negative character traits of the “child” appear very clearly: 1. Egocentrism, because he believes that the world revolves around him. 2. The inability to make decisions and the inability to show willpower are manifested in small things.3. Dependency, and this is not only and not so much the material side of the issue. An adult child is not able to take care of himself in everyday life, and if children appear in such a marriage, then the care of them is completely transferred to the spouse, who plays the role of “elder”.

In such a situation, the maturation of an infantile person depends on his spouse or on his parents, if he is still supported by them. And all actions should be aimed primarily at changing one’s own position. Usually in such a situation, the wife, whose husband lies on the couch all day long and refuses to take responsibility, begins to nag him. In response, he starts a game of . For a “child” to disappear, it must first lose its “parent”. And to do this, you need to take the position of an adult who has stopped caring for the “baby” and raising him.

The reaction of an infantile person who has been deprived of his bright rainbow world of irresponsibility can be different. At first, he will try with all his might to return the situation to its previous state. Most likely, he will pretend to be helpless and press for pity. If the wife/mother steadfastly holds on to the position of an adult, then the infantile will begin to recover from his illness. The second development option is that the “child” will lose interest and go looking for a new “mother.” If a cure was attempted by the mother, then he will run away from her into marriage; if it is a wife, then such a marriage will come to an end.

In fact, by being overly protective of her child/husband, the mother/wife also receives something in return. She feels needed and useful. If the mother does not have enough arguments to change the situation, then she needs to come to the understanding that her child will not be as an adult, that being unadapted to reality, he will suffer. Wives themselves often get tired of their infantile husbands and they don’t need to look for any special arguments. Even if there is fear, you need to understand that a person and an infantile person still will not get along.

Tip 2: What is the social activity of society?

Social activity is a certain set of forms and types of activity of a person and society, the purpose of which is to solve problems set before society, a social group and different classes. The tasks depend on the historical period. The object of social activity can be an individual, a collective, a group and society as a whole.

Features of social activity

In sociology, several types of social activity are considered - phenomenon, state and attitude. From a psychological point of view, the main type of social activity is a state. It is based on the interests of society and its needs in a given period of time and is considered as an internal readiness for action.

The peculiarity of social activity is the transformation of beliefs and ideas into actions of society. The social activity of a society depends on its leader. It has a strong influence on the beliefs and ideas of society at a given time. The level of social activity of society depends on this. The manifestation of social activity occurs when a person realizes his social significance and acts in conjunction with social and personal motives. This is impossible without a certain freedom of society, which consists in the fact that citizens have the right to participate in the development of society or in local self-government, without coercion.

Types of manifestation of social activity

Dependent activity – complaints and requests that require administrative bodies to solve citizens’ problems. Often these are requests and complaints that are not within the competence of administrative authorities. Constructive activity - proposals and ideas for changing the activities of administrative bodies to improve the living conditions of the population and the favorable arrangement of territories. Partnership between the administration and the population. Fictitious and demonstrative activity - to increase statistical data, they are involved. Certain publications in the media are paid for. Protest activity is society’s opposition to the activities of administrative bodies, without offering alternative solutions. It comes in the form of rallies, strikes, boycotts or hunger strikes.

Social activity of Russian society

Nowadays social activity Russian society very low.
Excluding elections, only a quarter of the population takes part in other forms of social activity. Other citizens believe that their social activity is meaningless. According to research in Russia, social activity takes a fictitious and demonstrative form. This is explained by the fact that the majority of citizens believe that everything has already been decided and all that remains is to pretend to make a decision. Because of this, there is a low level of social activity in society.

Video on the topic

Infantilism is a common phenomenon in modern society. Paradoxically, the more demanding it becomes modern world to those who make decisions, the more clearly one can see how many infantile people there are around, running away from responsibility for making any decisions at all.

“Dodik, Dodik, go home! - Mom, can I play a little more? - No. Go home. - Mom, am I cold? - No. Do you want to eat!" - this classic anecdote perfectly reflects the essence of the origins and content.

Beautiful word"infant" is translated as "child". It’s a beautiful word, but life with an adult child is never cloudless and is fraught with a lot of stress and disappointment. Not at all. His partner, who has tasted all the delights of living together.

An infantile person is eternal child. With all the wonderful bouquet characteristic of children from three to five: egocentrism, narcissism, irresponsibility and hysteria. But if only the character of classical infantiles was limited to this. Unfortunately, they are also characterized by traits inherent in adolescents during puberty: negativism, denial of life with constant self-affirmation, easy excitability and conscious isolation.

Ungrown children

“Oh, children, children! So great is their faith in mother's love that it seemed to them that they could afford to be heartless a little longer!” (James Barrie. Peter Pan)

Peter Pan, the hero of a good old children's fairy tale, classic representative an ungrown teenager, moreover, refusing to grow up, provoking with his actions an inappropriate reaction, selfish, often indifferent, irritable, arrogant, but demanding exclusive attention. Peter Pan - an infantile modern personality.

As a rule, infantilism is a consequence modern education. In other historical eras, due to the family and tribal way of life, children were taught almost from infancy to be responsible for their actions and for the well-being of the family. The modern way of life is certainly good because it makes our life easier. everyday life, but also thereby blurs the boundaries of responsibility for survival, and does not pose, from childhood, the dilemma of making momentary responsible decisions on which not only the well-being, but also the life of the entire family depends.

A few years ago, American anthropologist Carolina Izquierdo from the University of California published a paper in which she touched on the topic of growing up by comparing archaic and modern upbringing. In this work, she described two: the first - the attitude towards raising a 6-year-old child in the Peruvian Matsigenka tribe living in the Amazon, in which Caroline spent several months, the second - episodes from the life of an ordinary American family.

So, the first situation: one day, members of the tribe set out on a two-day “expedition” to collect food for the entire tribe. A little girl of 6 years old asked to be taken with her. Although she did not yet have a clearly defined role in the tribal community, she became a full and useful member of the expedition, carrying sleeping mats and catching, cleaning and boiling crayfish for all members of the expedition, having made the decision to do so on her own. She was calm, self-possessed and did not demand anything for herself personally.

The second situation from the anthropologist’s work relates to the life of an ordinary middle-class American family: an 8-year-old girl, not finding a cutlery next to her plate of cereal, sat for ten minutes and waited for it to be served to her, while a 6-year-old boy tried to persuade his father to he untied his sneaker laces.

Main features of infantilism

Infantilism can be congenital, but most often it is acquired and depends on upbringing. An infantile adult is a disaster, first of all, for his loved ones, for his family members, if he manages to have one. But even in the sphere of industrial relations, infantile people cannot be called a gift of fate.

An infantile person, as a rule, shows emotional and volitional immaturity; he is unreliable, irresponsible and avoids making any decisions, happily shifting responsibility to others. Infants are fixated on themselves and are only concerned with their own whims and goals, although they can quite successfully hide behind beautiful phrases or even actions, but, alas, they are based in any case only on concern for personal convenience, well-being and satisfaction of needs. As a rule, they almost always find someone who solves their problems, takes care of them and takes them “under their wing.”

But how charming and attractive infantiles are - these eternal children! They are as different as they are attractively beautiful, like Peter Pan and Carlson - archetypes-representatives of infantile individuals: their element is the eternal celebration of life, where they give attention and gifts.

Well, they not only love to have fun, but also know how to have fun like no one else, and if life were always just a holiday, then you wouldn’t find a better companion for this: with an infantile person, fun is guaranteed until... Until the first decision is made - is he cold or wants to There is. And if you are ready to make all subsequent decisions for him - forward to the eternal fairy tale, in which the further you go, the worse it gets.

Infantility is the special properties of a person’s behavior that characterize him as an immature personality, incapable of making thoughtful, informed decisions. As a rule, such childishness and immaturity are a product of upbringing, and not a failure in the process of brain maturation.

An infantile person simply avoids all responsibility - nothing prevents him from “taking life by the tail and changing something in it,” but the very desire for such active actions is absent.

Whereas, infantilism is a pathological condition that implies a delay psychological formation individuals for any objective reason. For example, oxygen starvation of the brain during intrauterine fetal formation. The discrepancy between a person’s behavior and age characteristics becomes especially noticeable by the time he or she enters school. In the future it will only progress.

Causes

The origins of infantilism, according to experts from different countries those dealing with a similar problem should be looked for in a person’s childhood. Of the many reasons they identified, several main ones can be identified:

• overprotection of parents - the child does not have the opportunity to make independent decisions and learn from his mistakes, he develops the habit of shifting responsibility to other people;
• a constant lack of attention and love from close relatives - a situation where the baby is left to himself most of the time, a kind of pedagogical neglect; in adulthood, such children strive to compensate for the lost feeling of care;
• total control - if children are forced to account for literally every step they take, then in contrast they begin to express a kind of protest with their infantile behavior, they say, get what you want, I refuse to take responsibility;
• forced rapid maturation - if a child, due to life circumstances, had to face the need to make important decisions too early, then later he may strive to avoid situations where he needs to make a choice.

Sometimes diseases become a platform for infantilism internal organs, for example, when brain cells simply do not have enough energy for full activity. Or the resulting infantilism in women due to underdevelopment of the ovaries - a deficiency in the production of sex hormones leads to a delay in the maturation of higher nervous activity.

Symptoms

Among the variety of symptoms that can describe the behavior of an infantile person, the following are the most characteristic signs of infantility:

• inability and unwillingness to make important decisions, for which you will then have to bear personal responsibility - in situations where something urgently needs to be resolved, such a person will try to shift the task as much as possible onto the shoulders of a colleague or relative, or will let everything take its course;
• unconscious desire for dependency - infantile people can earn good money, but they are not accustomed to taking care of themselves in everyday life or are simply lazy, trying in every possible way to avoid everyday responsibilities;
• extremely pronounced egocentrism and selfishness - an unfounded belief that the whole world should revolve around them, their requests should be fulfilled immediately, while they themselves will try to find a thousand excuses for their own unfulfilled obligations;
• difficulties in relationships with colleagues, partners, spouses - reluctance to work on relationships leads to the fact that, in the end, such people remain lonely even in their own family;
• an infantile woman can have fun at some event or party, while her apartment will not be cleaned, and the refrigerator will shine with empty shelves;
• frequent job changes - an infantile man justifies himself in every possible way by the fact that they are too nagging at him or are forced to overwork, so they spend their whole lives looking for a place of work where they would be paid more and demanded less.

Human infantas literally live like moths - one day at a time. Often they do not have savings in reserve. They do not strive for self-improvement, because they are sure that they are already good, they are satisfied with everything about themselves.

Types of infantilism

To complete the description of such a disorder as personality immaturity, it should be noted that it can be expressed in various forms. Thus, mental infantilism is the slow growth of a child. There is some delay in the development of the baby’s personality – in the emotional or volitional sphere. Such children can demonstrate a high level of logical thinking. They are intellectually very developed and capable of caring for themselves. However, their gaming interests always prevail over educational and cognitive ones.

Physiological infantilism is excessively slow or impaired bodily development, entailing a failure in the formation of higher nervous activity. More often taken for . Only a thorough differential diagnosis by a highly professional specialist puts everything in its place. The reasons for its appearance may be infections suffered by a pregnant woman or oxygen starvation of the fetus. Signs of infantilism in such a child can be combined with the phrase “I want to express myself, but I can’t.”

Psychological infantilism - a person has a completely physiologically healthy psyche, his development is quite consistent with his age. But they deliberately choose “childish” behavior. For example, because of what was suffered - as a kind of “protection” from aggressive external reality. Then the habit of isolating oneself and shifting responsibility for oneself to others becomes the norm of behavior.

Features in men

The bulk of the differences in the manifestation of infantilism between the sexes lies in the social views accepted in a particular society. If you look at the problem from this point of view, then infantilism in men is a sign of their failure as a protector, a “breadwinner”. This behavior is in most cases social groups condemned.

You can recognize a male infanta by several characteristic features. He has a very close bond with his family, especially his mother. Moreover, the relationship between them may even be conflicting, but they cannot do without each other for a long time.

The parent dominates in such relationships. Therefore, even as an adult, the infant man does not take on any responsibility - for himself, for his family. In many situations he behaves like a child. Infantilism in men quite often manifests itself in avoidance of conflicts, the need to solve problems, escape from reality into fictitious relationships, for example, in.

But such a man is the soul of any company. He sincerely rejoices at any holiday and reason to have fun. He is always ready to become the organizer of a party, but only if someone else finances it. He practically does not know how to handle money and earn it.

They can be most clearly manifested in his competition with his own children. He is sincerely offended if his wife pays less attention to him or buys more things not for him, but for the child. Scandals and quarrels in such a family will occur more and more often if a woman does not learn to find balance in her relationship with her husband and offspring.

Features in women

Society views infantility in women more favorably. Often such “childishness” is even encouraged - many men enjoy pampering their chosen one or raising her sometimes. Some husbands assert their egos in this way.

Women, on the other hand, like the role of dependents - this makes their existence much easier in terms of making important decisions. Shifting one's worries onto “strong male shoulders” has long been encouraged and welcomed in European society. However, the realities of our days are such that such behavior sometimes leads to disaster in relationships - two infants, having collided, are unable to help each other.

Sometimes infantilism is hidden behind vitamin deficiencies, chronic fatigue, severe stressful situations lead to the fact that nervous system can't stand it. In an effort to preserve herself, a woman begins to move away from reality, becoming lethargic and apathetic. After restoring the reserves of vitamins and microelements, as well as energy, the representative of the fair half of humanity will again be active, bright, cheerful and life-affirming.

If the desire to have fun is the predominant character trait of a woman, without the desire to think about the future, to ensure her well-being and comfort on her own, we can talk about psychological infantilism. Encouraging such behavior can result in permissiveness and licentiousness, even in violation of criminal liability. Punishment and “sobering up” are sometimes too harsh and harsh - serving a sentence in prison.

How to get rid of immaturity?

It is quite difficult for an infantile person to realize the problems he has with making decisions. Few find the strength to fight and take steps to improve their lives - gaining independence. Most often, such people need the help of professional psychologists.

Positive results can be achieved faster if seeking help was undertaken in the early stages of the formation of a personality disorder, in the childhood years of a person’s life. Group and individual trainings have proven themselves to be excellent.

To properly organize the process of raising and developing a child, parents can be advised to:

• consult with children more often, ask their opinion on every important life event for them;
• do not try to artificially create overly comfortable conditions for the child - find out about all the difficulties, for example, at school, solve them together, and do not put the problem solely on your shoulders;
• enroll him in a sports section - this will develop responsibility and determination in him;
• encourage the child to communicate with peers and older people;
• Avoid thinking in terms of “we” - divide yourself and the baby into “I” and “he”.

If intellectual decline was provoked by focal ischemia, then qualified help from a neurologist and drug treatment will be needed.

How to get rid of immaturity for a man - such issues should be resolved by a specialist in individually. Without awareness of the problem, if he himself is not ready to work on himself, all steps taken by his parents, wife, and colleagues will be ineffective.

Experts can only give recommendations on how to get rid of immaturity in adulthood - reconsider your life priorities, try to live separately from your parents, find a job that will require decision-making, but without excessive responsibility. You can try step-by-step planning - set yourself completely achievable goals and strive for them.

Each person is the creator of his own destiny and without internal work It is impossible to achieve harmonious development of your personality over yourself.