Perfectionism - the desire for perfection or pathology? Perfectionism in everyday life. Distinctive character traits inherent in such people

Ecology of consciousness: Perfectionism is an unjustified, painful desire for unattainable perfection, taken to the extreme. This is the desire to bring any business to the ideal, a tendency to place exaggerated demands on both oneself and the people around you.

Perfectionism is an unjustified, painful desire for unattainable perfection, taken to the extreme. This is the desire to bring any business to the ideal, a tendency to place exaggerated demands on both oneself and the people around you.

A perfectionist strives to prove to everyone that he is the most, the most, the most... the best, perfect.

The main signs of perfectionism:

Very high demands on oneself;

Focus on the “most successful”;

Constantly comparing yourself with others;

Perception of surrounding people as demanding and critical;

“Focusing” on one’s own mistakes and failures;

Planning and evaluating activities using the “all or nothing” principle.

In everyday life, perfectionism causes many problems. If a perfectionist doesn’t have time to do something properly (and he has no right to do something wrong!), he simply won’t do anything. The desire to “polish” every little detail, to bring any result to the ideal, leads to a perfectionist almost always feeling dissatisfied with the quality of the work performed. He takes criticism very sensitively.

A perfectionist believes that a less than stellar result is no result at all. And this is a big mistake.

The reasons for perfectionism can be very different. Everyone has their own:

Very often, former excellent students, who are accustomed to doing everything perfectly, suffer from perfectionism;

Often, perfectionism hides the fear of negative evaluation: “It’s not finished yet, it’s not finished...”;

It happens that perfectionism is a way to spend more time doing what a person likes to do and what he can do. This is a way, by doing nonsense until he achieves perfection, to delay time and avoid work that he does not want to do;

A person’s desire to do any job perfectly often results in loneliness, since it is not so easy to find friends who meet extremely high standards. The desire to flawlessly perform even the most insignificant tasks takes up a colossal amount of time, so a person has no time left for rest and entertainment. A perfectionist is under constant stress because excellent results constantly need to be confirmed. He prefers not to cooperate with the people around him, but to compete and compete.

Sooner or later, every perfectionist experiences feelings of hopelessness, fatigue and anxiety. As a result, against the background of chronic stress and overwork, weakness, headaches occur, chronic diseases worsen, and neurosis develops.

Perfectionism is a direct path to anxiety and depression. This is a serious problem of self-affirmation and competitiveness. I remembered one of my friends who proudly told me that she, who worked as an accountant during the day, spent almost every day until 2-3 o’clock in the morning polishing kitchen utensils to a shine, ironing towels on both sides, etc. and so on. It ended, unfortunately, with a massive heart attack at the age of 40. Her two sons, schoolchildren, were left orphans...

What can you do to get rid of perfectionism?

First of all, you need to put things in order in your head and stop confusing the desire for perfection with perfectionism. The desire to do an excellent job is an excellent quality that, within reasonable limits, is not perfectionism. If a person cannot afford to hand over poorly completed work, this is not perfectionism, but a responsible attitude to work. But if a person does not deliver work on time only because he wants perfection, which is necessary only for him and not needed by others - this is perfectionism.

Therefore, the most correct thing is:

Replace the desire for unjustified perfection with the desire for reasonable perfection, that is, to do as well as possible what you can, within the time allocated for this task.

Learn to correctly prioritize and distribute your efforts according to their importance.

Accept failure as natural integral part life and treat them leniently.

Praise yourself more often and see not only your shortcomings, but also your strengths.

Learn to enjoy life.

After all, Kozma Prutkov said:“You cannot embrace the immensity.” published

Perfectionism (from the Latin “perfectio” - perfection) is the everyday practice of placing demands on oneself for a higher quality of performance than circumstances require.” Individuals who suffer from perfectionism “tend to set unrealistically high standards, compulsively strive for impossible goals, and define their own worth solely in terms of achievement and productivity.” They are characterized by thinking in terms of “all or nothing”, which allows only two options for performing activities - full compliance with high standards or complete failure. Tendency to be criticized in the process social interactions may encourage perfectionists to react hostilely and aggressively towards others.

Perfectionism is a complex phenomenon. Most mental health professionals perceive it as a psychologically unhealthy phenomenon. However, in modern theoretical approaches to the problem of perfectionist tendencies, there is a well-known dualism: perfectionism can be understood as a potential force that can generate intense frustration and complete powerlessness (“neurotic” perfectionism) or incredible satisfaction with one’s own activities and creative achievements at a new stage of personal development (“healthy” perfectionism). "perfectionism), - depending on the direction of this force and the quality of the personality style traits accompanying this force.

With “healthy” perfectionism, individuals enjoy effort. They try to succeed in business, but at the same time they are free enough not to be scrupulous if the situation allows it. Success brings a sense of satisfaction from a job well done and increases self-esteem. Realistic and reasonable goals allow you to enjoy your own strength, become emotionally involved in activities, improve their quality and, ultimately, achieve excellent results. Thus, certain dimensions of perfectionism are associated with constructive striving for achievement and other adaptive qualities.

However, some authors believe that perfectionism, which initially arose as an adaptive attitude, can become destructive in the course of life for many people. Firstly, over time, behavior even with the so-called. Positive perfectionism can lead to adverse consequences - chronic fatigue, difficulty concentrating. Changing life circumstances can make it difficult to achieve previously attainable standards. Secondly, an individual may believe that his behavior has only positive consequences for himself, and at the same time is not aware of the negative consequences of his own perfectionism for other people.

“Neurotic” perfectionism is determined by an intense need to avoid failure. The individual is unable to derive satisfaction from an activity that, from the point of view of common sense, is performed quite well or even excellently. No amount of effort is ever enough as the individual constantly seeks approval and acceptance and desperately tries to avoid mistakes and failure. Thus, any circumstances affecting self-esteem give rise to intense negative affect, distress and depressive symptoms (before, during and after the activity).

In modern approaches, a complex of traits characteristic of perfectionism is associated with certain constitutional and personal types. High levels of aspiration (predisposing to perfectionism) are a critical feature of depression. For individuals with depressive and cycloid psychopathy, a feeling of guilt is common, they are tormented by remorse over the mistakes they have made in the past (there is constant criticism of themselves), it is difficult for them to work, since they mainly notice shortcomings in the work already done, and in the future - difficulties that prevent you from getting down to work. Statothymia (described by the Japanese psychiatrist Shimoda M.), characteristic of patients with unipolar depression, is characterized by pedantry, increased demands on oneself, a feeling of constant dissatisfaction, the desire to complete what was once started, responsibility, conscientiousness, diligence, depth in the matter, perseverance, accuracy, diligence . Beck A. (1987) described two personality types that predispose to depression: the “sociotropic type” is focused on problems of attachment, and the “autonomous type” is focused on problems of independent functioning, achievement, success and failure; The “autonomous” type is characterized by pronounced perfectionism in the sphere of achievements and status.

The main features of the melancholic personality type are an excessive penchant for order, scrupulousness, dependence on work (the inability to rest on weekends - “weekend neurosis”), conscientiousness, and increased responsibility. Finally, perfectionism is a core characteristic of obsessive-compulsive and narcissistic personality types. However, the effectiveness of cultural and family factors leading to the formation of individual perfectionistic attitudes suggests that perfectionism is an important individual characteristic of a person of our time and its occurrence is much higher than typological views allow.

Hamachek (1978) wrote that neurotic perfectionism stems from childhood experience interactions with disapproving or inconsistently approving parents, whose love is always conditional and dependent on the child's performance. In the first case, the child strives “to become perfect, not only in order to avoid the disapproval of others, but in order to finally accept himself through superhuman efforts and grandiose achievements.” In the second case, “a person comes to understand that only good performance of an activity makes him valuable.”

Modern researchers agree that perfectionism is a multidimensional construct. The British model identifies six parameters of perfectionism: high personal standards, concern about mistakes, doubts about actions, high parental expectations, desire for order and organization. The Canadian model identifies four parameters of perfectionism: “I”-addressed perfectionism; perfectionism directed at other people; socially prescribed perfectionism; perfectionism addressed to the world at large.

Self-directed perfectionism includes debilitatingly high standards, constant self-evaluation and censoring of one's own behavior, as well as a motive for striving for perfection, varying in intensity among individuals. different people. Other-directed perfectionism involves setting unrealistic standards for significant others, expecting people to be perfect, and constantly judging others. Socially prescribed perfectionism “reflects the need to meet the standards and expectations of significant others. Perfectionism, addressed to the world as a whole, is the conviction that everything in the world should be accurate, accurate, correct, and all human and global problems should receive a correct and timely solution.

The parameters of perfectionism identified in each of the models are fully reflected in the questionnaires: in the British and Canadian models, the questionnaires have the same names Multidimensional Perfectioism Scale (the British questionnaire is abbreviated as MPS-F, and the Canadian questionnaire is called MPS-H). Another instrument often used in empirical studies of perfectionism is the Dysfunctional Attitude Scale (DAS; Bluckburn, 1989), which includes an “attitudes toward success” subscale and an “imperatives” subscale. DAS scores are strongly associated with vulnerability to depressive episodes. However, the reliability of the DAS in testing perfectionism remains controversial, according to experts.

The growing interest in perfectionism is not accidental. Research shows that perfectionism is closely linked to depressive and anxiety disorders. This connection is confirmed by both correlation and regression analyzes. In addition, some studies have shown that perfectionism aggravates the course of these disorders and may contribute to their chronicity. A person with pathological perfectionism, focused on being perfect in everything, placing exorbitantly high demands on himself and others, finds it very difficult to admit that he is imperfect, suffering, and it is difficult to trust and accept help from a specialist (psychiatrist or psychotherapist), who may also seem the patient is imperfect.

Research on perfectionism shows its close connection with decreased productivity in activities. High subjective expectations, combined with the fear of not meeting high standards, give rise to the strategy of “doing nothing,” paralysis of activity, procrastination, that is, postponing activities and then completing them as soon as possible in rigid ways. Left for last, quick problem solving is not driven by business or creative motivation, but by fear of harm to the narcissistic self and motivation to avoid failure. This strategy leads to a lack creative development, productivity of thinking and minimal qualitative increase in activity.

Connections between perfectionism and eating disorders have been identified. For example, girls with a high level of self-oriented perfectionism exhibit extreme forms of eating behavior, including complete refusal to eat. A connection between socially oriented perfectionism and altered ideas about the body (physical perfectionism) has been revealed. The desire to appear successful, to meet inadequate standards and ideas of perfection appearance is closely related to anorexia and bulimia. There is a connection between perfectionism and problems in marriage, primarily in the sexual sphere (this is more typical for women than for men). In the literature, there are often indications of a connection between perfectionism and suicidal behavior in both adolescents and adults.

Currently, many scientists are convinced that the compulsive desire for perfection is associated with a high risk of mental disorders and reduces productivity. Population studies and a few studies of perfectionism in clinical samples show its close connection with affective spectrum disorders (depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders), the most significant in epidemiological terms.

Format psychological correction perfectionism combines the following techniques: 1 - cognitive psychotherapy aimed at changing the patient’s irrational beliefs (detection of irrational beliefs about oneself, in relation to the world, in predicting the future, assessing one’s own resources for coping with perfectionism, etc.), 2 - techniques information: psychoeducational programs about the mechanisms of development of perfectionism, about prevention in avoiding perfectionism, about methods of correction, etc. (for more information about the psychological correction of perfectionism, read the article “Program for the psychological correction of attitudes and beliefs characteristic of persons with a high level of perfectionism” [ read ]).

In the self-help book by Antony and Swinson (Antony M., Swinson R. When perfect isn’t good enough: strategies to cope with perfectionism. New York: Avon Books, 1998), entirely devoted to perfectionism, describes standard methods of cognitive therapy as applied to this personality trait. This book provides guidelines for assessing perfectionism, including identifying problem areas using a perfectionism diary, identifying triggers for perfectionistic reactions, assessing the severity of presenting problems, assessing useful and unhelpful standards, developing flexible beliefs to replace rigid perfectionistic views, and assessing the “harmfulness” » perfectionism. The focus of therapy includes: developing a plan for change, calculating the cost-benefit ratio of weakening perfectionistic standards, identifying priority goals, and choosing a variety of behavioral strategies. Two main strategies for change are proposed.

The first strategy involves changing perfectionistic automatic thoughts through writing and journaling, evaluating the pros and cons of these thoughts, educating people about the harmfulness of high standards, including other people's points of view in perspective, finding compromises with oneself and with other people, conducting behavioral experiments assessing the accuracy of perfectionistic thoughts, changing habitual social comparisons, training the ability to see big picture, not small details, developing coping strategies, training the ability to endure uncertainty. These strategies are based on the principles of cognitive therapy for anxiety and mood disorders.

The second strategy involves changing perfectionistic behavior through graded immersion procedures (e.g., training to tolerate a messy home, wearing socks inside out, etc.), reaction prevention (e.g., refraining from double-checking work), communication training, finding priorities, and overcoming “ paralysis" These strategies are also drawn from traditional cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy for anxiety and mood disorders. The effectiveness of Anthony and Swinson's therapeutic strategies has not been evaluated in a controlled trial, but has been highly praised by the cognitive therapists' professional community.

The motto of perfectionists is: “Being the best is the goal of life.” Of course, achieving the heights of success, trying to get closer to the ideal are good qualities. But when they become hypertrophied, a person ceases to be himself. He obeys blindly inner voice, placing too high demands on him. In this case, we can talk about perfectionism.

The essence of the concept

What does this term mean in modern psychology? As the authors of numerous specialized publications write, perfectionism is a pathological craving for perfection, which manifests itself both in relation to one’s own personality and to the people around you. At the same time, it constantly seems to a person that the result of his activities cannot be called impeccable, so he does not accept it, refusing to compromise. A true perfectionist has an obsessive, often manic character. The individual is convinced that everything in the world must conform to a certain order.

Perfectionism is directed deep into consciousness. The meaning of the word usually indicates a specific state of a person, when he feels inferior in any situation, and therefore harshly criticizes himself. An individual simply “eats” himself for the mistakes that he sees at every step, develops a bunch of complexes and highlights his own shortcomings. He can also set excessive demands on other people, which invariably leads to a severance of contacts with society.

Normal perfectionism

It does not cause any special problems to a person and does not require the help of a specialist. As long as the mania to be perfect does not reach a state of obsessive neurosis, the individual objectively assesses the situation and is a realist. He strives for a better result, but understands that nothing in this world is perfect - it is this belief that briefly but accurately characterizes healthy perfectionism. Psychologists describe in detail what this phenomenon is. According to them, the person is quite demanding of himself, but at the same time is not fixated on mythical goals and impossible tasks.

A person with healthy perfectionism is usually a valuable employee. He works hard, gradually raising his performance bar. If he encounters obstacles along the way, he is ready to overcome them. If the matter becomes hopeless, do not panic, understanding that defeat in life is as normal as victory. He is demanding of himself and those around him, and values ​​his own abilities. But, being a realist, he can admit character flaws and inaccuracies in behavior, trying to correct errors, but without painful desire.

Degrees of perfectionism

Depending on the influence of the psychological state on a full life, there are two main groups of this deviation:

1. Weak form. It is episodic in nature and becomes obvious only in certain situations. For example, when planning a vacation, a person demonstrates increased selectivity in relation to a vacation spot, a hotel. He may find fault with the product he purchased for the first time, but he quickly forgets about the imperfection of the thing and actively uses it. Later he even wonders how such a trifle could upset him.
2. Average perfectionism. What it is? Psychologists say: it is to this extent that the desire for perfection already occupies a significant part of existence. The individual gets nervous when objects are out of place, strives to perform any task properly, and does not allow himself to relax even for a second. He worries if something goes wrong. Such a person is often called an “eternal excellent student.”

The above forms can be easily adjusted. Any of us can solve the problem without the help of a psychologist.

Pathological perfectionism

Unlike the weak and moderate forms, this degree of psychological phenomenon is already considered a disease. Pathological perfectionism - what is it? Firstly, we are talking about a stable behavioral model that subordinates all the thoughts, reactions, and actions of the individual. Secondly, the desire to achieve the ideal in everything becomes an obsession, the main goal in life. A person gradually loses control over the pathological desire for perfection. When they talk about perfectionism, they usually mean only its weak and moderate degrees, because the described form can leave a serious imprint on a person’s fate, leading him to a hospital bed in an institution named after Kashchenko.

An example of true pathological perfectionism is shown in the movie Black Swan. main character Nina spends all physical and mental strength to practice ideal ballet steps. Over time, her movements, although flawless, lose their living charm due to strict and cold mechanicalness.

Diagnostics

The line between healthy and painful perfectionism is thin, but you can actually find it. To do this, you need to know the main signs of pathology:

• Lack of confidence in one's strengths and abilities.
• Strong sensitivity to criticism.
• Focusing exclusively on mistakes and failures.
• Formation of high standards.
• Dependence on the opinions of others.
• Strong feelings of guilt even for minor shortcomings.

If you recognize your own daily behavior in the experiences and reactions described above, then you may be diagnosed with perfectionism. This is a situation where a small deviation has already transformed into a chronic pathology. By the way, to constant companions Psychologists attribute diseases to pedantry and scrupulousness, as well as too high criteria that you set for other people. A person tries to change his relatives and friends, which the latter do not really like. Conflicts arising on this basis often provoke a breakdown in relationships and complete isolation of the perfectionist.

Primary sources of the disease

All serious mental disorders originate from early childhood. Perfectionism is no exception: this is exactly the case when a child’s behavior can lead you to the right conclusions and become the basis for the correct diagnosis of the disease. A child raised in an authoritarian family often becomes a victim of the “excellent student syndrome.” He is trying to prove to his too strict father and mother that he is worthy of their attention and encouragement. Parents of such children often set too high standards for academics and behavior. If a son or daughter does not live up to exaggerated standards, then they succumb to physical punishment or moral pressure.

When talking about perfectionism, the meaning of the word is often misinterpreted by ordinary people. In no case should it be confused with increased enthusiasm for activity, as is often the case. A child, having become a victim of a domestic tyrant, will not only work hard on himself. Unlike the same workaholics, he will set himself a goal - not only to complete the task efficiently and on time, but also to make it impeccable. This becomes the meaning of the little man’s entire future life.

Another reason

It is completely diametrical. The child’s relatives, on the contrary, are too protective of their child. They try to smooth out all the unevenness and roughness of his behavior: they do not scold him for bad deeds, they compliment him at every step. Father and mother support the child in any endeavor and convince him that he is a genius. In childhood, such boys and girls become leaders: they are more successful than their peers. But once they are old enough, they usually lose the ability to achieve high levels.

Without the support of their parents, everything falls out of their hands. Out of habit, a person sets difficult-to-achieve goals: if something doesn’t work out, he is sincerely perplexed and continues to bend over backwards, trying to get closer to his dream. This is real perfectionism. Psychology that describes the deviation states that such an individual has difficulty creating a family. If he succeeds, then on a subconscious level he will do everything possible to destroy the marriage, ruin the lives of his children, and alienate himself from his grandchildren. Expressing eternal dissatisfaction with their actions, which seem far from impeccable to him, he will become a real outcast among his family.

Consequences

We already understand that perfectionism is dangerous for relationships. What threat does disorder pose to inner world individual? Firstly, it leads to low self-esteem, which becomes fertile ground for the germination of new inferiority complexes. Secondly, it provokes the development of chronic stress. Exhausting self-control and eternal feeling Anxiety leads to neurological diseases.

Perfectionism is exhausting and weakening. In pursuit of dubious ideals, an individual cannot relax and enjoy the results of his work. He loses the ability to enjoy life, since he spends all his free time on bringing to mind unnecessary little things. As a result, he stops resting, breathing fresh air, sleeping and eating properly. This, in turn, leads to serious health problems. Perfectionism is a disease. And medicines alone cannot cure it: you will need to use all your mental reserves to eliminate the “problem.” And the sooner you do this, the better.

Perfectionist man

It’s interesting, but the psychological phenomenon has its own characteristics among representatives of the strong and weak half of humanity. For example, men are more susceptible to this disease. And this is not surprising: having received a clear message in childhood that he is the future head of the family, and making the right decisions depends solely on him, the boy grows up with high self-esteem. He is convinced that he is the center around which the planet revolves: other people are simply imperfect scenery in his absolutely correct world.

Such men are characterized by:

1. Extra reflection.
2. An oppressive fear of failure.
3. Rejection of criticism from outside.
4. Simultaneous self-flagellation.
5. Lack of tolerance.
6. Intransigence.

Male perfectionism leads to irreversible consequences. This phenomenon is fraught with danger to society. After all, mental deviation turns a representative of the stronger sex into a tyrant and despot. IN best case scenario makes a man a whiner or a pedant.

Female perfectionism

It is fundamentally different from men's. Such ladies put a huge pile of responsibilities on their fragile shoulders, which often turn out to be beyond their strength. For a true perfectionist, everything must match highest level: career, appearance, health, family, everyday life and so on. But you still need to devote time to self-improvement and improving your education. Every normal person understands that it is virtually impossible to cope with all tasks at the same time. What can we say about each of them being executed flawlessly.

Even in the most exquisite details, feminine perfectionism is manifested. The photo depicting the young lady must be successful, and the reflection in the mirror must be impeccable. Such women are intolerant of their loved ones: they try to mold them into the ideal image of a husband, son or daughter. Therefore, children often become hooligans in protest, and the spouse finds another chosen one, softer, more gentle and loyal.

Perfectionism in everyday life

It appears very often in the media. The Internet, television, radio and glossy magazines form the ideal image that every girl strives to live up to. They show us actresses, singers and models: they have gorgeous hair, snow-white smiles, slender figures, expensive jewelry, stylish clothes. A simple young lady does not understand that this is just a beautiful picture, presented not in its natural form, but in an embellished and modified form. Therefore, he begins to lose weight to the point of anorexia or, out of the blue, undergo plastic surgery.

In addition, various television programs inviting people to become millionaires program young people into a false behavioral model - perfectionism. A person begins to think that, being an ordinary clerk or manager, he is at the very bottom of society. And only the presence of money, fame and power will give him a respected status. Unfortunately, from a young age an individual forgets that people marry for love, and not for profit, and that a blue, peaceful sky above one’s head and healthy children are more important than all the treasures of the world combined.

First aid

How to get rid of perfectionism? The simplest solution to the problem is to follow the motto: “Do the best you can, within the time frame that you manage to allocate.” Does not work? Not scary. Work on yourself: read Additional information or check out your competitor's ideas. Perhaps next time, thanks to the knowledge gained, the matter will be resolved faster in your hands. Remember: to err is human. Therefore, there is no need to go against nature.

Be sure to get rid of existing fears. Did you make a mistake in the report? So what: it's not the end of the world. You will not be fired for this - they will simply return the document for revision. At the same time, do not compare yourself with other colleagues who are more successful and advanced. Think about your own positive qualities. Better yet, write them down on a piece of paper and put them in a frame on your desktop. When a wave of doubts and uncertainty takes you by surprise, read it like a prayer.

If you don't know how to get rid of perfectionism, go to kindergarten. Look how sincerely the kids enjoy every little thing. Cultivate this quality in yourself. Try to get plenty of rest: don’t lie on the couch, scrolling through options for solving a problem, but shake out the kaleidoscope of unnecessary information from your brain, unload your consciousness. It's like clearing the cache on a computer - after the procedure, the machine always works better and faster. Give yourself the right to make mistakes. “The best is the enemy of the good,” says folk wisdom. Don't forget about this, no matter what happens.

There is a type of procrastination, let’s call it “Ampliocrastination” (from “amplio” - improve, improve (lat.) and “crastinus” - tomorrow (lat.)), which dangerously mimics the desire to make something perfect. It would seem that very reasonable people, often not at all prone to ordinary procrastination (such as watching cats on VKontakte or endlessly tidying up the workplace instead of writing a diploma), are lying in piles before ampliocrastination. By the way, creative people, nerds, and curious people who strive for knowledge are most prone to it.

For example, you just need to write a short note about the product for an ignorant audience. But instead of just writing 5-10 sentences, a person begins to understand all the aspects and details of the product himself, to reveal the meaning of all the concepts embedded in the product. He is carried along the endless river of Wikipedia links and scientific articles, which, it would seem, should bring him to an absolutely complete knowledge of the subject area and allow him to answer all possible reader questions in three lines. Unfortunately, in 90% of cases this will lead to depression and a persistent feeling of guilt, as well as a banal breakdown of the deadline and one’s own and others’ nerves.

I often catch myself that instead of quickly preparing a simple presentation, for some reason I start mastering Illustrator in order to draw some mega-cool graph for it. Or I spend hours searching for the perfect illustrations. Therefore, I decided that I need to fight this crap, write about it and draw the attention of the enlightened public to it!

It seems to me that ampliocrastination manifests itself from ordinary procrastination, fear of error or negative experience in the past. For example, an article written in the past received negative reviews, or you weren’t happy with it yourself. Or you need to make a presentation that people important to you will see and you are afraid of looking unprofessional in front of them. The danger is that the better you perform your tasks with ampliocrastination, the more afraid you are, the less you sleep and the more guilt you feel for missing deadlines.

Friends and colleagues can rarely help a patient with chronic ampliocrastination, usually scolding him for his “inability to prioritize” or being too “concerned.” Ampliocrastination is a dangerous disease that destroys your productivity, an ailment that is important to know about and even more important to be able to deal with it. (cm. )

Here are a few steps that sometimes help me, and I hope they will help you:

1) Start catching yourself when you are amliocrastinating. A clear awareness that you are doing the wrong thing right now can save you from a sleepless night. This method rarely works, and not for everyone, but still.

2) Start execution difficult task from the easiest and most understandable parts. Postpone the difficult and confusing part until the second or third stage. The important thing is to start. Once you get started, everything will be easier and faster. Plus, completing the “simple” parts may take longer than you expected and ampliocrastination in difficult parts there simply won’t be time left for the task (“it’s already 6 in the morning, I won’t bother”).

3) Break down parts of the task (for example, slides of an investment memorandum) into “complex” and “simple” and always start with the simple.

Common procrastination can be treated by creating “positive expectations.” You've noticed that preparing for a vacation, or a date with your beloved, does not make you want to put these things aside, while writing a diploma or a quarterly report does. But if you associate the preparation of your thesis not with a negative expectation (the writing process itself), but with a positive one (how everyone will be amazed by my awesomeness at the defense and how everyone will praise me), then procrastination will let you go. So, FORGET about this method, if you are prone to ampliocrastination, this is a direct path to the abyss. In pursuit of “positive expectation” you will drown in the deep river of the Internet.

4) Use the principle of Occam’s razor - try to write about complex things as simply as possible, without unnecessary details. Ideally, a fifth grader would understand this. If listeners or readers are interested in details, they will ask or Google it themselves.

5) Set a clear work schedule - for example, two hours per slide or page. Treat the plan responsibly, if you don’t have time to finish the slide - type the text, and instead of illustrations or graphs, insert placeholders - you will find suitable ones when you have completed 90% of the entire task.

Daniel Zedda flickr.com/astragony

Perfectionism– this is a person’s position, regarding which absolutely everything must be done in an ideal way. Perfectionism can have a pathological form, then it reveals a position in which a non-ideal result becomes unacceptable to the individual. Not all people know what perfectionism is, since the use this term arose not too long ago. Perfectionism can be a characteristic of a completely healthy individual, or it can be a neurotic deviation.

To understand what perfectionism is, you should consider its aspects, signs and causes.

The term perfectionism means perfection, the desire to do everything perfectly.

Personal perfectionism manifests itself in self-censorship and an invincible attraction to perfection.

Perfectionism aimed at others is expressed in high demands placed on them, aversion to carelessness and the habit of displaying disorder.

Peace-oriented perfectionism is a personal position that asserts a universal order, the norms of which are determined by one individual.

Socially conditioned perfectionism is the need to always meet the expectations of others, to act relative to the standards they set.

What is perfectionism - definition

There are several signs of perfectionism: scrupulousness and increased attention to minor details; the desire to bring every action to the ideal; aggressive form of depressive human behavior.

What is perfectionism? This is the desire to bring everything to a state of perfection, which is expressed by:

- excessive concentration of the individual on the mistakes of others and personal ones;

— strong doubts regarding the speed and quality of performance of one’s activities;

— inflated standards, leading to a visible decrease in satisfaction with the fruits of one’s activities;

- high sensitivity to high expectations;

- strong sensitivity to criticism.

Perfectionism, as a quality, can completely satisfy a person, since it teaches him to be disciplined. If this prevents you from living fully and being mentally balanced, then it is worth finding out what caused this quality to arise.

The reasons for perfectionism, like many others, lie in childhood, or rather in upbringing. If a child was raised in an authoritarian family, then he acquires excellent student syndrome and develops perfectionism. Such a child proves that he is worthy of the attention and encouragement of his too strict parents.

Parents with an authoritarian parenting style like to set too high standards for their children, leading to nervous exhaustion. If children cannot achieve the set "standards" then they are susceptible to psychological abuse or physical punishment.

Perfectionism - the meaning of the word is often misinterpreted in everyday life. Thus, perfectionism is often confused with a person’s strong passion for some activity, which is not correct. A child who has become a victim of domestic tyranny will naturally strive to intensively work on his shortcomings. In contrast to the average workaholic, such a child will make it his goal to complete the necessary task not just efficiently, but flawlessly. This is precisely what becomes the goal of the future life of the child, who will become an adult perfectionist.

Healthy perfectionism at work is found in leadership qualities, great efficiency, and activity. At the same time, he assesses real abilities very soberly.

Healthy perfectionism at work can develop into a degree of mild excitement or excitement. An individual who has healthy perfectionism focuses on personal potentials and ways to achieve goals.

Perfectionism is a very controversial concept. Thus, supporters of perfectionism believe that a person’s obsessive desire to be perfect makes him a master. Others consider perfectionism to be boring.

Perfectionism does not allow an individual to stop; it encourages him to constantly develop and learn new things. However, the following remains unclear: whether character traits are a consequence of acquired perfectionism or whether the traits themselves are conducive to the development of perfectionism.

The desire to be absolutely perfect is a rather commendable quality, as long as it does not develop into an obsessive and haunting desire to achieve an exclusively ideal result, by correcting something that no longer requires correction. Such a person wastes personal time in vain to achieve a practically unattainable goal, since the ideal level of its implementation already exists.

Thus, perfectionism forms a stable cycle, as a result of which it turns out that a person does nothing significant for a long time. He manages to improve something a little, but later everything comes to the conclusion that the “improvements” require significant alterations. Therefore, the process itself becomes a boring routine that requires considerable expenditure of time and effort, which is a real disaster for individuals with creative inclinations or professions.

Individuals with pronounced perfectionism may establish too strong a connection between their sense of self-worth and their job performance. It turns out that a lot of time is spent on paying attention to unnecessary or unimportant details, which, of course, noticeably slows down the pace of the entire work, reducing overall productivity.

A person with perfectionism is inclined to expect the emergence of special conditions that will contribute to the fact that the ideal result of an activity can be presented immediately, in a completely finished form. Such a person spends a large number of time, paying too much attention to minor details of the final product of the activity. Often such things lose their original flavor and end up looking artificial.

Individuals with perfectionism, in order not to spoil their impeccable image, are able to very gracefully hide their mistakes or not translate their intentions into actions. Such people consider their life position to be all or nothing. It turns out that while perfectionists wait for ideal conditions to come to fruition, other people prefer to act in the present, even if they make mistakes.

Sometimes two concepts are used together - perfectionism and procrastination. Procrastination is a person’s tendency to delay starting any task in order to complete it perfectly. The problem with this behavior lies in the fact that the beginning of the task may not come, because the longer it is postponed, the more oppressive and unpleasant it seems.

Perfectionism and procrastination are concepts that flow from each other, since an ardent perfectionist procrastinates until he thinks everything is going perfectly, but may not get there.

Perfectionism is a quality that causes trouble not only for the perfectionist and those around him, but also has a negative impact on a person’s economic condition. For example, a person who does not know how to invest in deadlines time allotted to complete a task must begin again or ask for more time, which often entails material costs.

It is still very important to determine what the reasons for perfectionism are, what motivates people to restlessly strive for the ideal. Many people believe that all mental disorders or psychological deviations arise during childhood. They are almost right, but one cannot say so radically. For example, the causes of perfectionism can appear in adulthood.

Pace modern world dictates new rules, everyone wants the job to be done perfectly. So, at work or in schools, institutes, very high demands are placed on people, often their fulfillment seems unattainable, but a person has to make efforts that he “squeezes out” of himself in order to show an ideal result.

Those who set the rules and external boundaries do not realize how negatively this affects the health of the individual. If it is not possible to achieve an absolute result, although a person gives his best, he begins to doubt his knowledge and strength. The conclusion suggests itself that perfect success can only be achieved by becoming the most ideal student or employee, which actually forms perfectionism.

Reasons for perfectionism originate in childhood. Direct influence education has a parenting style of perfectionism. If parents raise children using authoritarian style, making great demands on the child, they constantly evaluate and compare him with other children, with classmates or friends. Gradually, the child develops the principle: when I do everything perfectly, they love me, but if I make a mistake, they will stop loving me.

Thus, many factors influence the development of a child’s inflated demands (that is, perfectionism) - constantly changing assessment, positive acceptance of the child only when he is successful, lack of stability (the child is good one day, bad the next), lack of sincere trust in parents (the child is always time worries that he will make a mistake and disappoint them).

The second example demonstrates that perfectionism can develop because parents themselves are perfectionists and raise their children according to this. They teach that everything should always be perfect and nothing else - this is the basic rule of perfectionism.

Another type of cause of perfectionism from childhood is a parenting style in which parents allow the child everything. They make every effort so that the child does not encounter failure, so that he does not have to work too hard, they smooth out everything sharp corners When a child comes into contact with difficulties, they create artificial situations of success and reward him for them. Such “too kind” parents do not realize that they are making a huge mistake.

When a child grows up, he undoubtedly faces the realities of life; he finds himself unprepared for this meeting. This child feels incongruent with what he has faced and what he has previously experienced, and he experiences failure because his goals seem unattainable. As a result, the child will believe that he can become a failure, so he will try not to put himself in unfavorable situations, but will try to do his best to become a better person. This overwhelming drive leads to the foundation of perfectionism.

If perfectionism is expressed in moderation, then everything is fine, if these are extreme forms of behavior, then this greatly complicates a person’s personal life and affects his environment. It is quite difficult for an adult perfectionist to find friends, start a family, and not criticize loving people. He tries to force everyone to comply with his rules and principles, which are really difficult to comply with.

No one would dare to say that perfectionism is a bad and unnecessary personality trait, the main thing is in what “doses” it is present. If perfectionism is “normal”, not bordering on a mental disorder, then it will serve a person driving force, will stimulate the individual, contribute to achieving success, improving the standard of living.

Pathological perfectionism, on the contrary, hinders the development of personality and will contribute to the destruction of the personality itself, everything around, and the overall quality of life. Owners of the “excellent student syndrome” (perfectionism) must know how usefully they can use their character traits and direct them in the right direction.

The pathological form of perfectionism has such an impact that a person’s life changes internal positions, he declares that others are obliged to conform to them. Thus, the consciousness of a perfectionist stimulates a person to fit everything into his framework and imprison others within it.

A perfectionist can be endlessly reminded that he has problems regarding the perception of the world and himself personally, told that he sets high and exorbitant demands and goals that he intends for himself, which are often unrealistic to achieve. But you can only waste your time, since the perfectionist’s reaction to all statements made to him will be denial, defense of his own positions and rejection of the other person’s opinion.

If, over time, the perfectionist himself realized that he feels the complexity of his existence, using such attitudes, or life itself makes adjustments and he gets to look at himself, understand that life positions unconstructive, only then perhaps a person will want to change. It is impossible to completely eradicate the attitudes of a perfectionist, but it is quite possible to concentrate them in a constructive direction and slightly modify them.

How to get rid of perfectionism

How to deal with perfectionism? This is a question that occupies not so much the perfectionist himself as those around him. Those who often have the opportunity to communicate with a perfectionist complain about his demanding behavior.

To overcome perfectionism, a person must adhere to certain techniques. Before starting to perform a certain task, you must first formulate the goal itself, then the criteria by which it will be possible to determine the high-quality completion of the task. Next, you should create a setting to prevent “over-fulfillment of the task.” Then it turns out that, thanks to the criteria and setting, the person will be able to understand that he has completed the task, and no one will need the “super result”.

A number of criteria for a successful result should include the cost of achievement. Often, in their pursuit of quality, perfectionists forget about price. Therefore, it is necessary to clearly define the boundaries of an acceptable price for the result. This price should consist not only of money, but also of the energy expended, health and negative experiences.

Also, the list of criteria should include the time spent on achieving the goal. It is not enough that the task will be completed well, it must be completed on time. Therefore, it is extremely important to set a time frame beyond which it is necessary to stop increasing the quality of performance.

If a person is concerned about his behavior, he wants to change himself, and he is interested in how to deal with perfectionism, then the main thing is to understand that it is impossible to please everyone and work to please everyone. If you like the result of the work and the person completed it, then there is no need to overdo it. There will still be individuals who will not like the result. This is actually why there is no need to correct your report, plan, presentation or other work result a hundred times. Perhaps not everyone will be delighted with the work presented, but one hundred percent there will be those who will like everything, or even consider its execution ideal.

Developing the ability to delegate tasks will help a person get rid of perfectionism. Individuals with perfectionism find it very difficult to delegate work to another person because they are nervous and doubt the quality of the work. This often happens in group work, when workers or students are divided into subgroups, they are given a task and a task to which everyone must contribute. The perfectionist does not trust the abilities of other individuals, and takes responsibility for everything.

That is why a perfectionist should start learning to shift a certain part of the responsibilities to others. It doesn't have to be directly related to just work. You can start with everyday household chores: ironing clothes, cooking, cleaning. The main thing is to entrust the work to others and not observe the process, and then not redo it in your own way. Gradually a person gets used to it.

Even if the job wasn’t done perfectly, you shouldn’t get hung up on looking for flaws. A person who wants to reduce the manifestation of obsessive perfectionism should not forget to make a list of upcoming tasks for tomorrow. After compiling, re-read it carefully, weed out unimportant tasks and save only the most significant and urgent ones. This way, you won’t have to keep everything in your head, tasks will be completed faster, because looking at the list, the individual will see that there is no time to finalize or correct anything, because there are still things to do.

How to deal with perfectionism? A compiled list of losses that occurred as a result of increased demands on life, others and oneself will help with this. A person should think about how many wonderful moments of life he has missed, how many loved ones he has lost, how many nerves he and his loved ones have spent.

It is necessary to analyze your fears about the work not being completed. If a person is afraid of not having time to do it perfectly, then he needs to start doing it, and not procrastinate, and if the deadline has come, then he needs to show the result as it is at that moment. Any mistake should be accepted as a component on the path to success. Mistakes form experience; having learned from them once, you can predict the likely repetition of the mistake.

It is necessary to learn to identify and separate the most important and less important. Timeliness is the criterion of quality. Therefore, in the process of work, you do not need to focus on tiny details and their processing; you should highlight the main aspects and work on them.

If an opportunity is observed, then you should take a break to evaluate the outcome of the work with fresh eyes. There is a high probability that it will not be as bad as it seemed at first. There must be a mandatory rest once a week. While resting, you need to forget about work, upcoming and past affairs, and simply do absolutely nothing.

When reviewing your to-do list, it is important to highlight in it a task that can be completed not one hundred percent, imperfection can be allowed, but not in a serious matter. For example, wear a cardigan instead of a jacket, comb your hair differently, change your personal nutrition habits, and make adjustments to your daily routine. Gradually the understanding will come that without perfectionism it is much more interesting and easier to live.