Godmother and godfather: responsibilities. Who can be godparents for a boy and a girl?

How to choose the right godparents for a child, and who cannot become a godfather? What requirements does the Orthodox Church place on them, and what do godparents need to know before the ceremony? How not to make a mistake when choosing spiritual mentors for a child? Let's figure it out.

Baptism is not an ordinary tradition passed down through the centuries. This is a sacrament, a special rite that marks the second, spiritual birth of a person. It is believed that grace descends on the one who receives baptism, and from that moment on, the Christian gains a guardian angel, under whose protection he will be for the rest of his life.

Who are godparents?

Baptism like others Orthodox rituals, requires compliance with certain rules, the main one among which is the choice of godparents. Many try to baptize a child in infancy. Usually the ceremony is carried out after 40 days have passed since birth, but for sick or weak babies the church makes an exception and allows them to be baptized at any time.

Only those who have turned 18 years old can undergo the sacrament of baptism without godparents; this is not prohibited by the church. But for children under this age they are required. Godparents become the child’s spiritual mentors, taking on the obligation to be close to the godson and support him throughout his life. If the blood parents pass away, it is the godparents who must take responsibility and care for the child. How to choose correctly those who can be entrusted with such serious responsibilities?

Baptism of a child: who cannot be appointed godparent

When choosing from friends or relatives the one who will accept this honorable duty, it is necessary to take into account the rules adopted by the Orthodox Church, which do not allow everyone to participate in the rite of baptism.

1. There is a decree of the Holy Synod, according to which a girl over 13 years old can become a godmother, and a young man who is 15 years old can become a godfather.
2. Spouses cannot become godfathers and godmothers.
3. Such responsibilities cannot be delegated to non-believers or people of other faiths.
4. It is unacceptable for those leading an unrighteous lifestyle to become godparents: alcoholics, drug addicts, riotous women, insane individuals.
5. Real parents cannot act as godparents.
6. By folk beliefs They do not take pregnant women as godmothers, although the Orthodox canons do not prohibit this.
7. Another popular sign is that the godson and godfather should not have the same name.

Ideally, everyone should have two successors. But if it happens that it is impossible to choose a couple, then it is allowed that there will be one godfather: the girl has a woman, the boy has a man. According to signs, it is better for an unmarried girl to baptize a boy first.

The people chosen for these responsible roles must be very close to his real parents, and the degree of their relationship is not important. Grandmother, grandfather, aunt or uncle - all of them are not prohibited from baptizing a relative. But siblings are most often not assigned to this role.

It is believed that one cannot refuse the title of godfather, therefore, before offering to accept this role at a christening, it is better to find out whether the applicants themselves would like to take on the honorary duty.

Responsibilities of godparents

They not only have to participate in christenings, their main duty is to help the godson throughout his life, not just meet him periodically and give gifts, but also teach him goodness, morality and love.

After the completion of the ceremony, godparents receive a certificate-memoir, which states that they should become godsons or goddaughters’ assistants, teachers and mentors.

If godparents do not have the opportunity to often meet with their godson or daughter, they must pray for the child. Ideally, Orthodox successors should attend churches, live church life and fast, but this condition is by no means obligatory.

What should godparents have during a christening?

After the future godparents have been determined, the child must choose church name, date of christening and temple. Usually children in church are baptized on Saturdays, but this can be done on any other day; fasting also does not prevent baptism from taking place.

Before baptism, the godparents come for the godson and “take” him. Before this, they should not sit down in the godson's house. Everyone goes to church together: parents with the baby and godparents.

Before the baptismal ceremony, godparents buy things for the baby, a list of which is usually given in the church:

1. pectoral cross traditional form - buys Godfather;
2. an icon, preferably (but not necessarily) of the saint whose name the child will be baptized - bought by the godmother;
3. The godmother also buys kryzhma - the material necessary for the sacrament, maybe with decorations, but more often ordinary white fabric;
4. a baptismal shirt, and for the girl a scarf or cap - it is not necessary to buy, you can replace it with a clean vest and scarf from your existing wardrobe.

TO appearance There are no special requirements for godparents during christenings; the usual rules for visiting church are followed. Both godparents must wear crosses, the man without a headdress, and the woman with a covered head, covered shoulders and elbows, and a skirt or dress below the knees.

Comment on the article "How to choose the right godparents for a child"

Based on the fact that a spiritual relationship is established between godparents and parents. But it’s only about what spouses are not allowed to do, and I’m not going to invite my wife to church, well, that is, he...

Discussion

We were allowed without any problems :) I’m very happy, now my girls are baptized and I’m their mother!

We will only have a baptism, I choose from my parish. They are all believers and will provide guidance if they can help, but the main criterion is that God forbid, what happens to us, so that they can take the child for themselves and prevent him from staying in the child care center. If the godfather, in principle, is not ready for this, then I don’t see the point in such a godfather.
For those to whom I am godmother, God forbid, I will take it away right away, this is a definite obligation, so I agreed to be godmother only 2 times in my life.

What do godparents have to do with it? After all, godparents are responsible for spiritual education) By the way, it is important for the Church that godparents are not couples with each other (for example, husband and wife)...

Discussion

Eldest daughter I was baptized by an institute friend and a family friend who was a witness at our wedding. My godmother and I parted ways; we haven’t seen each other for five years, although we live in the same city. The godfather is not a churchgoer, but he accepts Active participation in my daughter's life, they are with her Good friends. He doesn’t have his own family, so our daughter is very dear to him.
The youngest were baptized this weekend. They became my godparents brother and his wife, as well as my friend, whom I have known since first grade at school and a family friend. All godparents simply adore the kids and actively participated in their lives without knowing that they would be godparents. This active help of theirs gave me the idea to make them godparents. My husband and I are not particularly religious people and we don’t have any hopes for the active churching of our children by their godparents. It is important for us that they love them as our own or almost as our own, and that will be enough.
I approached the place of baptism thoroughly and we baptized the children not in the city, where it is clearly felt that money is important there. We baptized outside the city in monastery, everything is very poor, simple, but the atmosphere is such that even I, a person far from the church, was inspired. Father is wonderful a kind person, throughout the baptismal ceremony he smiled at the girls, and they smiled at him, it was all very touching.
Below I give a link where I read about the rite of baptism, everything is very accessible, there are prayers and explanations for them, read it.

“And it’s important for me that godparents be part of my children’s lives. That they are part of the family. And they want to be them.”

As pompous as it sounds. And should expensive people give gifts?
I liked the answer of one priest - “Godparents should pray for the godson. That’s all.”

All my friends chose according to the principle “To be richer” - expensive gifts are needed.
And so many claims and demands for godparents are terrible. They must buy everything for baptism and give gold crosses, otherwise the parents will face a sour face - “They are godparents!!! THEY MUST!”

Tell me about choosing a godfather. My husband and I just can’t choose a godfather, I’ve already found a godmother, she’s my close friend, she loves Grisha, she’s a believer (of course, without fanaticism)...

Discussion

and to what extent is he a believer - a friend of his husband? Godparents are needed to take care of the soul and spiritual education of the baby! mention your godchildren in your prayer.
For example, I cannot visit my goddaughter, since I live in another country, but I always mention her in health notes in church and light candles

If only I had at work good friend and I _decided_ to call her godmother, and my husband would have told me that he did not agree... I would not have understood my husband.
On the other hand, I am my godmother in last time I saw it when I was ten (it was my mother’s friend).... that’s why my children’s godparents are all relatives :)

God-parents. Christening. A child from birth to one year. Care and upbringing of a child Before a question to them: how do you choose godparents for a child and what from them in the future...

Discussion

I'm not expecting anything. I treat them as a mandatory part of the program :)
I myself am godmother to my daughter’s friend and it became terribly stressful for me, because my friend, it turns out, assumed that I would be some kind of special role play in their lives, and to be honest, I have enough entertainment with my two girls. so I see my goddaughter once a year and I’m a little upset for my friend that she made a big mistake in choosing her godmother (i.e. me).

I'll tell you.
The eldest, when he was young, called his good friends.
For me, the association with my godmother is a pleasant person with gifts, who, even after many years, always comes to the rescue. Feeling of a reliable rear. That will always help and advise.
I dreamed of the same thing for my child.
Bottom line: the godfather said - I don’t understand anything about this. Doesn't wish you happy birthday. No need for gifts. You can call by phone.
The godmother seems to be a believer, but she learned from the priest that the godfather is more important for the boy and... she also disappeared. She called me with this good news and that’s it - not a phone call, nothing.
Very disappointing.
I want to sit down with Temochka one of these days and sign postcards for them with New Year’s Eve, let him draw something there, and we’ll write a few words together.
That’s why I called my sister to be Sofiushka’s godparents - they only became closer. But she didn’t call her godfather; for some reason she was categorically determined that only her own people were needed. Although now I think that I could have called someone.
Such a story.
I expect from godparents that my child knows that there are other people in the world besides his parents to whom he can turn.

Godparents - how are they chosen? My understanding is that not only should people be close to me (mom and dad), but they should also love the child, right?

Discussion

It’s really not a good idea to take a husband and wife as godparents at the same time, because this is prohibited by church regulations. They will tell you this in any Temple. All your other questions are from the area folk signs, but if you are interested in this, then it is believed that: a woman should baptize a boy first (because if she baptizes a girl first, she will give her her feminine happiness), and a man should baptize a girl first; As for the fact that godchildren should alternate, this is the first time I’ve heard, in my opinion, it doesn’t matter; Regarding close relatives, when I baptized my children, the priest in the Temple told me that close relatives will always love a child more than strangers, even very good friends, so it is DEFINITELY POSSIBLE to take close relatives as godparents; As for the number of children to whom you can become godmother, there are no restrictions: 3 or more or less. It’s just that if a person has many godchildren, then it is unlikely that he will be able to fully fulfill his duties as a godfather. From this point of view, you need to have as many godchildren in the fate as you can actually take part in (this participation, of course, does not include birthday gifts, etc.). From this moment on, you are responsible before God for the soul of the child; by becoming a godfather, you take upon yourself the responsibility of helping the parents raise the child in the spirit of Orthodoxy. The godfather is responsible for each of his godsons before God, so it is better to have one godson, but fulfill his duties fully, than several, but besides gifts and congratulations, do not burden yourself with anything else. If a person is not sure that he can cope with the role of a godfather, then it is better to refuse than to become a godfather just for show. Sorry it's long. If you have any other questions, you can ask by email.

", published by the Sretensky Monastery Publishing House, provides in an accessible form the initial knowledge necessary for those who are preparing for the Sacrament of Baptism or are just beginning to live Orthodox life. The book presents the main provisions of our faith, talks about the Sacraments, the commandments of God and prayer.

When I have to baptize an adult, most often I perform the sacrament of Baptism without godparents. Because godparents, or godparents, are necessarily needed only for children. When an adult is baptized, he himself can say that he believes in the Lord Jesus Christ as his Savior and wants to accept Holy Baptism to save your soul. He himself can answer the priest’s questions and promise fidelity to Christ. Of course, it is good when next to the adult person being baptized there is an Orthodox church person who can become his successor and help him take his first steps in church and teach him the basics of faith. But I repeat, for an adult it is not necessary to have godparents.

Why are receivers needed at all? Godparents are those people who, due to the minority of their godchildren, make vows of Holy Baptism for them, a promise of fidelity to God. For their spiritual children, they renounce Satan, unite with Christ and confess their faith, reading the Creed for them. We baptize most people in infancy, that is, at an age when the child does not yet have conscious faith and cannot answer how he believes. His godparents do this for him. We baptize children according to the faith of their recipients and according to the faith of their parents as the closest people. Therefore, both bear a huge responsibility. Godparents are not just family friends, they are not some kind of “wedding generals” standing at the sacrament with an “Honorary Witness” ribbon, as happens at weddings. No, godparents are very responsible persons; they become guarantors before God for the souls of their godchildren. At the moment of baptism, together with their parents, in front of the Cross and the Gospel lying on a lectern, they make a promise to God Himself. What promise? That they will make every effort so that the newly baptized baby grows up to be a believer, an Orthodox person. Their duty now is to pray for their spiritual children, teach them prayers, instruct them in the Orthodox faith and take them to church to receive communion, and then, after seven years, to confess. So that when their godson enters perfect years, he already knew how to pray to God, he knew what we believe in and why we go to church. Of course, the greatest responsibility for the Christian upbringing of children lies with the parents, but godparents can also greatly influence their godchildren and become their spiritual teachers and mentors.

Many parents approach the Baptism of their children quite formally and choose godparents in the same formal manner.

Now a little about the sad things. Most modern godparents are very poorly prepared. TO greatest regret, many parents approach the sacrament of Baptism of their children quite formally and choose godparents just as formally. After all, a godfather should not just be a good man, communication with whom we enjoy, our friend or relative - he must be an Orthodox person, churchgoer and knowledgeable of his faith. How can we teach someone the basics of faith if we ourselves don’t even know the very basics, haven’t read the Gospel, don’t know prayers? Indeed, in any field, if a person knows something well, for example, knows how to drive a car, work on a computer, solve mathematical problems, do repairs, he can teach this to others, pass on his knowledge. And if he himself knows nothing in this area, who can he teach?

If you are godparents and feel a lack of knowledge in the spiritual field (and none of us can say that he has fully studied the Orthodox faith, for it is an inexhaustible reservoir of spiritual wisdom), it is necessary to fill this gap. You need to educate yourself. Believe me, there is nothing complicated about this, especially now, when no one forbids us to read any spiritual literature and when books, brochures, and CDs telling about the Orthodox faith are sold in all churches and bookstores. The Lord reveals himself to everyone who turns to Him, at any age. My grandfather was baptized at age 70 and then mastered the basics so well Orthodox faith that he could even teach and mentor others.

You need to start spiritual education with the very beginning, basic books, such as “The Law of God”, “First Steps in Orthodox church"and others. You definitely need to read the Gospel; you can start with the “Gospel of Mark”, it is the shortest, only 16 chapters, and was written specifically for new pagan Christians.

The godfather must live according to the commandments of God, pray to God and receive communion

The recipient is obliged to know the Creed and read it at baptism, in this prayer book in short form Orthodox doctrine is set forth, and the godfather must know what he believes. And of course, the godfather must live according to God’s commandments, pray to God and receive communion. By church canons a child is entitled to one godfather, of the same gender as the person being baptized, but our Russian tradition presupposes two godparents - a man and a woman. They must not be married to each other. Godparents then cannot marry or marry their godchildren. The child's father and mother cannot be his godparents, but other relatives: grandparents, uncles and aunts, brothers and sisters may well become godparents. Recipients, preparing for the sacrament of Baptism, must confess and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ.

The child's mother and father do not have the right to be with him. It is worth noting that a husband and wife cannot be the adoptive parents of one child. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, brothers and other relatives are allowed to become godfathers or godmothers. It is recommended to take as godparents blood relatives. It is believed that the blood connection becomes stronger, since the adoptive parents are the second parents of the child.

Orthodox Christians

The recipient can be a person who is Orthodox Christian and constantly taking communion. Atheists and representatives of other religious denominations cannot be godparents. At the same time, it is mandatory to know the Creed and read it during the process of baptism. The recipient will also be required to read a daily prayer for the godson, since he is now responsible for the spiritual in the future. Regular church attendance and upbringing in the Christian faith - an integral part of from the duties of a godfather.

Age

People under the age of fourteen cannot become godparents, since they do not have the spiritual experience that would be required to instruct a newborn in the right faith.

Church servants

The restriction applies only to the father or mother of the child, who cannot be godparents to their own child. Also, spouses are not allowed to become spiritual parents of one child (if a couple is just planning to get married, they are also prohibited). Other relatives, including siblings of the child's parents, as well as their parents, may well take on the responsibilities of godparents. Also, you should not choose priests or monks or young children as godparents. Besides, adoptive parents They also cannot become godparents to their stepdaughters and stepsons.

By the way, in relation to godmothers there is a ban on the participation of ladies in the sacrament of Baptism during the period of monthly impurity.

What should godparents give to a child during the sacrament of Baptism?

It is usually stated that godparents must purchase for the rite of Baptism. Naturally, if a person who has been chosen for such an honorable position does not want to make a mistake, it is better to consult with his parents in advance.

Also, godparents often purchase silver ones for their godchildren. Such a gift is especially relevant if the baby is baptized at the age when his first tooth emerges.

The godfather should establish contact with his godson as much as possible. After all, he becomes not only the spiritual mentor of the baptized person, but also a kind of backup for the biological parents. After all, one of the responsibilities of a godfather is to raise a child in the event that the natural parents die or are unable, due to certain circumstances, to fulfill their parental responsibilities.

It is one of the most important in the days preceding the performance of this great sacrament. The path of spiritual growth that he has to go through largely depends on how successful the choice of the child’s parents is. Therefore, we will try to fully understand this issue and, if possible, avoid mistakes.

When should a baby be baptized?

First and the most important event in the life of a newborn is the rite of holy baptism. There is no strictly established rule regarding how many days after the baby is born it should be performed. But taking into account the spiritual significance of the sacrament, it is recommended not to postpone it for a long time without serious reasons, and to try to have the sacrament performed in the first year of the child’s life.

Both in the process of performing the ritual and in the further spiritual life of the newly baptized, an important role is played by the godparents assigned to him, who take upon themselves the responsibility of raising him in the spirit of Orthodoxy. That is why the question of how to choose godparents for a child so that in the future they can fully fulfill the mission entrusted to them becomes important.

Who can't be one of the godparents?

It should be noted that there are certain restrictions when appointing godparents. First of all, the parents of the child themselves and, in addition, persons who are related, cannot play this role. Also, church rules prohibit entrusting this to people who are married to each other or intend to enter into it after some time. The reason here is quite obvious. - these are people who are in a spiritual relationship, and physical intimacy between them is unacceptable.

Continuing the conversation about how godparents are chosen for a child, it is necessary to emphasize that they cannot be all kinds of people of other faiths, including even Christians of other denominations (Catholics, Protestants, Lutherans, etc.). And, of course, this should not be trusted to people who are not believers at all or who declare their faith, but are not baptized and do not attend church.

As for the age restrictions imposed on possible candidates, girls can be godparents from the age of thirteen, and boys from the age of fifteen. It is believed that, subject to correct and proper religious education at this age, they are already able to understand the responsibility entrusted to them and, over time, become their godson.

And finally, from the number of possible candidates, persons suffering from mental illness should be excluded, since they cannot be held responsible for their actions, and those who lead an immoral (from the church and universal point of view) lifestyle. Monks and nuns also cannot be godparents.

Who should you choose?

However, the question of how godparents are chosen for a child is not limited to just the list of those who are not suitable for this role. Something else is much more important. You should know who can be chosen as godparents for a child, and in this regard there are no clearly defined boundaries, but only recommendations based on life experience previous generations of Orthodox Christians.

Before you choose someone, you should first of all think about whether they will pray all their lives for their godson or goddaughter, because this is precisely one of their main responsibilities. This is especially important in the first years after baptism, since the child is still small and cannot turn to the Creator in prayer. In addition, it is generally accepted that the prayer of those who received the baby from the holy font has a special power of grace and is heard.

Any relative of the child can become a godson, regardless of a friend of his parents or simply someone they know and respect. But at the same time, it is necessary, first of all, to be guided by whether the chosen one will be a good adviser and a good spiritual educator of the child.

In order to more fully understand how godparents are chosen for a child, it is necessary to outline the range of responsibilities that are assigned to each of them. This will help to avoid in the future many griefs and disappointments associated with haste and ill-conceived decisions.

According to existing tradition, godparents should go to church a day or two before the sacrament and confess and receive communion there in order to remove the burden of earthly sins that could interfere with the establishment of spiritual unity with the godson. Directly on the day of baptism, they impose a voluntary fast on themselves, excluding both eating and performing marital duties.

During the sacrament, the “Creed” is read, and if the ritual is performed over a girl, then the godmother reads the prayer, and if over a boy, then the godfather. In this regard, it is important to prepare carefully, memorize the text and ask the priest in advance when to read the prayer and how.

Choosing the right godparents for a child is extremely important in relation to the help that is expected from them during the ceremony itself. And first of all, this applies to the godmother. She, among other things, must take care of the gift for the child and the various things necessary for performing the sacrament, such as a baptismal shirt, a towel and, of course, a pectoral cross that will be worn on him. By the way, it should be noted that during the sacrament her presence is necessary, while the godfather can only participate in it in absentia.

Psychological aspect of choosing a godmother

It is also very important to take into account that after washing in the font, the child is picked up by his godmother, and care must be taken to ensure that this does not cause stress for the baby. It is highly desirable that the candidate for this role has held him in her arms before, and he is familiar with her features. The same can be said about the godfather. In the entire range of issues related to how godparents are chosen for a child, this occupies one of the main places.

Responsibility for the subsequent spiritual life of the child

According to church teaching, the child’s connection with those who received him from the holy font is considered even closer than with the real parents who gave him life. They will have to answer for him Last Judgment, and therefore it is their duty to constantly care for the spiritual growth of their godson.

This aspect of their responsibilities to him and to the church includes not only conversations on religious themes, capable of expanding the godson’s knowledge of Orthodoxy, but also introducing the child to attending church and participating in divine services. Moreover, in order to achieve the best result, godparents must steadily increase their own spirituality and be a living and convincing example for the child.

Replacement of faith with ritual belief

It is very unfortunate that today the true Christian faith is often replaced by the so-called ritual faith. Leaving aside the foundations of the teachings of Jesus Christ, who preached humanism, sacrifice in the name of one’s neighbor and repentance as the means of acquiring the Kingdom of God, people hope to receive immediate earthly blessings by performing certain ritual actions.

If such naivety was excusable to the ancient pagans due to their ignorance, now, when the Lord has given us holy gospel, we can only regret those who, when asked why they baptize a child, without thinking, answer: “So that he doesn’t get sick.” And it's all! Not a word about the fact that they desire his unity in the Spirit of God with the Creator of the Universe and the possibility of his inheriting Eternal Life.

How to choose godparents for a child if the parents are non-believers?

Besides, in last years has become fashionable, and unbelieving parents often carry them to the holy font, doing this only in order to keep up with others. Despite this, the church welcomes the baptism of a newborn, regardless of the reasons that guided his parents, although he wishes them to take a more responsible approach to the holy sacrament, which is the spiritual birth of their little person.

That is why the question of how to choose godparents for a child acquires special importance, because it is they who, with their religiosity, can make up for what the real father and mother are not able to give. His decision cannot contain any general advice, since in each case it is individual and depends on the environment of relatives and friends in which the young parents live. It is among these people that one should look for those who, with their faith, are able to help a child take the path of spiritual growth.

A question born of superstition

Sometimes you have to hear quite weird question about how to choose godparents for a child and in general, is it possible to perform this sacrament in a year that has February 29 in its calendar? This question is strange primarily because, according to the clergy themselves, in Orthodox Church there is no such thing as leap year, and therefore, there are no restrictions associated with it, be it weddings, christenings or other sacraments. The popular belief that it brings misfortune is the fruit of superstition and empty speculation. Believers should have in themselves only the fear of God and hope in His mercy, and not the fear of some signs.

The theme of “godparents and godchildren”, of course, is not comparable to eternal theme“fathers and sons”, but still it is very relevant in our time. After all, the traditions of succession were interrupted. And it often turns out that people who are far from the Church, but still want to baptize a child, choose a godfather for him for purely everyday reasons. And in the families of churchgoers, sometimes stumbling blocks arise in the relationship between godparents and godchildren. We want to talk about some of these problems.

Background
The role of godparents among the first Christians cannot be understood without knowing the conditions in which they lived.
Communities of the first Christians gathered in their homes. Sometimes houses were even specially rebuilt - internal partitions were demolished and a baptismal place was set up. The photo shows such a rebuilt house from the 3rd century. Baptistery in the Meeting House. Dura-Europos (Syria).

According to the imperial edicts, Christianity was outlawed as a harmful sect. Introducing someone to a creed that denied the divinity of the ruling Augustus and prohibited making obligatory sacrifices to the gods and images of the emperor was considered a crime against the state and was prosecuted under the law of insulting the majesty of the emperor.
For Roman Christians, it was important to provide such instruction and education to the newly baptized that would help them become true members of the Church. Special difficulty The situation was enhanced by the fact that, unlike later times, the bulk of those baptized were not infants, but adults who came to baptism consciously. This forced Christians to maintain a long period of clarification for them to assimilate the essence of the doctrine and help them, keeping them from doubts and deviations.
Household slaves lived in the houses of wealthy Romans - servants, educators, and wet nurses for children. In fact, they were the younger members of the family, involved in all its affairs. Christianity gradually spread among them, and for a person attached to children, it was natural to try to save the child for future life. This provided the basis for secretly teaching children the basics Christian faith and their baptisms by people not related to them by blood. These people became their successors, godparents.
During the baptism of an adult, the recipient was a witness and guarantor for the seriousness of the intention and for the right faith of the person being baptized. At the baptism of infants and the sick, speechless, the recipients made vows and recited the Creed. The 54th rule of the Council of Carthage provided: “Sick people who cannot answer for themselves will be baptized when, by their will, others testify about them, under their own responsibility.”
In development of the 83rd and 72nd rules of the Council of Carthage, the Council of Trullo, in the 84th rule, established that found children, about whose baptism there is no reliable information, also had to be baptized. In this case, the recipients actually became the children's mentors.
Initially, only one recipient participated in baptism: when baptizing a woman, a woman, and a man, a man. Subsequently, the analogy with physical birth was extended to baptism: both the godfather and the godmother began to participate in it.
Church rules(and in full agreement with them, the civil laws of the Empire that adopted Christianity) did not allow the physical parents of the baptized person (people already close to him), minors (people who are not capable of providing spiritual guidance due to age) and monks (people who have renounced peace).
In Russia in the 18th-19th centuries, children in villages were baptized in infancy a few days, or less often weeks, from birth. The latter was not associated with any special customs, but, for example, with the remoteness of the village from the temple.
As a rule (exceptions were extremely rare), recipients participated in the baptism of children. They tried to choose them among people they knew well, more often relatives.
Among Slavic peoples, including among Russians, the custom of having both a godfather and a godmother spread very quickly. They had to be of legal age and capable of performing their duties responsibly. In 1836, the Synod established the lower age limit for godparents - 14 years. When performing the sacrament itself, the duties of the godfather included paying all material expenses for its implementation and the subsequent celebration, as well as taking care of the cross for the baby. The godmother was required to present the baby with a robe - a cloth in which he was wrapped after taking him out of the font, a blanket and a baptismal shirt.
Often they tried to find godparents among blood relatives who could take responsibility for raising children in the event of the death of their parents. This practice was not condemned: it was believed that family relationships only strengthened.

Yaroslav ZVEREV

Wedding General or Fairy Godmother?

A godfather or, in other words, a godfather is a person who takes upon himself the responsibility for the church upbringing of a child. He makes vows to Christ for his godson, renounces Satan, reads the Creed during the Sacrament of Baptism. After the baby is immersed in the font three times, the priest passes him into the arms of his godfather, who receives him from the font - hence the “receiver.”
But the Sacrament of Baptism was completed, it was celebrated, life moved on, and after a while the parents of the baptized baby have complaints: “the godfather forgets us” - he communicates little with the child, rarely calls, to the point of disappearing from life altogether godson. What’s upsetting is not even the fact that the godfather rarely appears (this, of course, is unpleasant, but understandable, given how busy everyone is today). It's a shame to have a formal attitude towards the recipient. For example, one girl said that they invited an authoritative church-going person to be her godfather, but throughout his life he never tried to establish contact with her. Once, long ago, in childhood, he gave her a bouquet of flowers - this is her only memory of him. Of course, the godfather prayed for her - this is the duty of the godparent under any circumstances - but this was clearly not enough for the child.
Speaking about the duties of a godfather, it is difficult to list: they say, he must do this and that. Everything - except prayer - depends on the situation. Often godparents see their help only in “transporting” the child to the temple and back. But if the godson’s parents need help, and the godfather has free time, then going for a walk with the child or staying at home with him is a duty of love. Many "prudent" (in in a good way this word) parents, thinking about who to ask to become a godfather, choose precisely such godparents on whom they can rely.
In addition, godparents need to remember how important it is for any children - from church and non-church families - to feel a sense of celebration and friendly communication. For example, one young woman recalled that as a child, her godmother always took her to the Shokoladnitsa cafe or the Anchor fish restaurant after communion. A visit to the temple turned into friendly communication for festive table, all together left an impression in my memory fairy tale. Of course, communication was not limited to this. The godmother took her to monasteries and read good books, for example, Nikiforova-Volgina (and she read it out loud herself, and did not give the “correct” book for show), and made memorable gifts. You could always call your godmother before a difficult exam asking for prayer help - and be sure that she would pray for you.

Unchurched family: insist or give up?
Godparents, when talking about difficulties in relationships with godchildren, most often mention situations related to the fact that the godson’s parents are not churchgoers. For example, at first they promised not to interfere with the child’s churching, they even showed interest in the Church, but soon after baptism they forgot about all the promises. In words, it seems that the possibility of communication remains, but in reality... In the summer you need to go to the dacha, in the winter there is a flu epidemic. The rest of the time, I have a runny nose, or need to visit my grandmother, or go to the market to buy overalls, and in general, Sunday is the only day off when you can get enough sleep. And if you manage to go to church with your godson at least twice a year, that’s good.
In general, before agreeing to become godfather of the child from an unchurched family, consultation with a confessor is required. But what to do if the child has already been baptized, and the parents, despite their promises, remain indifferent to the Church?
Godparents familiar with this situation advise not to take the child to a temple located far from the godson’s home. It is better to go to the nearest church, having previously found out when the service begins and what time is most convenient to give the child communion. If there are several temples near your house, then it is better to find out where it is less crowded, where the atmosphere is calmer and more welcoming.
Should a godfather, who is not allowed to fulfill his direct duties, insist on his rights? It can be assumed that aggressive preaching is likely to cause rejection. Does this mean we should give up? In answer to this question good story said Archpriest Theodore BORODIN, rector of the Church of the Holy Unmercenaries and Wonderworkers Cosmas and Damian on Maroseyka: “My sister and I met my future godmother, seemingly by accident. Some woman was moving into our house, and my father was asked to move her furniture. Her father saw her icons. Therefore, when later there was talk of baptizing their children, the parents turned to her - to Vera Alekseevna. This unexpected meeting changed our entire subsequent lives. Everyone thought that we would be baptized - that’s all, but Vera Alekseevna began to enlighten us and, apparently, prayed very hard for us. She took us to the temple. It was very difficult for me. All is mine childhood memory from the temple - it was only back pain and sandwiches that she gave us when we, tired and hungry, left the church after communion.
It happens that some godparents pray, worry about the child, but are afraid of being intrusive.
But she insisted, said: “You promised me,” warned: “In two weeks I will take Anya and Fedya to the temple, please, don’t let them eat in the morning.” She asked: “Anya and Fedya, have you read your prayers?” I remember she gave us a prayer book and marked three prayers that should be read. Two weeks later she came to us: “Well, Fedya, did you read your prayers?” I say yes". She took the prayer book and said: “If you were reading it, then the first paper cover would be crushed like this, this is not the case, which means you rarely opened it. It’s not good to deceive your godmother.” I felt ashamed, and from then on I began to say prayers.
We were also drawn into the circle of Christian education that took place at the godmother’s house. She had several dozen godchildren. She tried to reach their hearts through evenings of reading, Christian rethinking of poetry, music, and literature. Thanks to this, we discovered faith in a completely new way. We learned that Orthodoxy is not old women in church, that the heritage of all Russian culture is essentially Orthodox. She managed to truly church very a large number of of people. Among her godchildren are three priests, many people living a full church life. Despite the fact that most of us were from families absolutely far from the Church.”
If it turns out that relations with the non-church parents of your godson have reached a dead end and your life paths separated, and the child is still too young to communicate independently, then you should not turn into a “wedding general”. It would be more honest to simply pray heartily for this child.

Teenager
Many priests and teachers warn that during adolescence, a child will almost inevitably rebel against parental authority and seek support outside the family. “This is age feature for teenagers - they definitely need someone outside the family, an authoritative adult who they can rely on. And a godfather can become such an authority,” says the teacher. Sunday school at the Church of St. Nicholas in Kuznetsy, teacher Elena Vladimirovna VOSPENNIKOVA. — How to prepare yourself for this? Firstly, the godfather must take part in the child’s life from childhood, in any issues not only related to the Church. Communication with the godfather should be versatile - this also helps in homework, and going to the theater together, and discussing what is interesting to both you and the child. Secondly, the godfather must be an authority for the child. And this is only possible when the child sees that you are doing it sincerely, not out of duty.”
But it is important not only to save a good relationship. The main thing is to help the teenager not lose faith. How to do it? Only by personal example. Elena Vasilyevna KRYLOVA, teacher at the St. Demetrius School of Sisters of Charity: “If a child sees that it is impossible for the godfather to stay at home on Sunday instead of going to the Liturgy, that the life of the godfather does not exist without the church, only then the words of the godfather can be heard. If a child feels thanks to participation in church sacraments, thanks to communication with the godfather that there is another life, then even if he falls away in the ordeals of adolescence, he will then return to the Church. And you can attract a teenager to the temple through common affairs. Now in the youth world outside the Church, everything is limited to parties, discos, but teenagers need real things to do.”
There are a lot of such things in the Church: trips to orphanages, helping people, missionary trips, restoration of ancient churches with young people from “Restavros” in the most picturesque places and much more!



Baptism in an orphanage
IN ancient Church infants were not baptized without guardians, since Christian upbringing could not be guaranteed in pagan families. And now it is impossible to baptize a child without an adult recipient. But what about children in orphanages and orphanages? After all, the situation here is completely special. The baby's godparents (if they can be found) should be traced future fate it's very difficult for your godson
Is this a reason to refuse to baptize abandoned babies altogether? Svetlana POKROVSKAYA, Head of the Board of Trustees of St. Alexia: “Once a month we go to a children’s hospital where newborn abandoned children with severe heart defects are kept. Children are usually nameless. The priest names them and baptizes them. Subsequently, we cannot trace the fate of these children; the hospital administration does not provide such information. Many of them die before reaching three or four months. And we cannot guarantee a Christian upbringing for the surviving children. Therefore, our activities cause contradictory attitudes. It happened that I applied to a priest with a request for baptism, but he refused to baptize without godparents, and such godparents who would bear their responsibilities in full until adoption. But many other priests believe that it is impossible to deprive babies of grace just because there are no recipients. After all, a godfather can pray for a child, write his name in notes, so that a particle can be taken out at the altar for a sick, suffering child, and this is very important. Therefore, we ask those who agree to be godparents to first of all pray for the children.”
The situation when an orphanage child is baptized at a conscious age is significantly different from the previous one. Here the godfather must understand that children become very attached to adults who show attention to them, and therefore it will be impossible to leave the child once he has started communicating with him. Many are afraid of such responsibility, they are afraid that the child will want to be taken into the family. Marina NEFEDOVA (she, along with other parishioners of the Church of the Annunciation in Fedosino, helps the nearest orphanage baptize children), based on his experience, says: “Children over seven years old understand that their godfather takes them to church, visits them, but does not become an adoptive parent. It seems to me that it would be very good if the orphanage children had godparents who would communicate with them for many years.”
It happens that people are asked to become godparents too often. But there are reasonable human limits. According to many confessors, you should soberly assess your capabilities and try to be constant in those relationships that already exist. After all, they will ask us what we did and how we took care of those we received from the font.

Veronica BUZYNKINA