A funeral service a year after death is possible. Remembrance of the dead. Is it necessary to remember the deceased every day? Is it possible to commemorate earlier or later? When and why

The loss of loved ones is always a great grief. Relatives want to accompany the person to last way with all honors. After a funeral, it is customary for Orthodox Christians to hold a wake. In addition to the funeral table, you need to visit church and order a prayer service. You can remember the deceased at any time, but according to church customs, the commemoration of the deceased should take place nine days, forty days, six months after death, a year.

Is it possible to have a wake? before date death, what a memorial. Commemoration of the deceased according to the Charter Orthodox Church should not pass before the time of death. Therefore, it is impossible to remember in advance. There are days on which it is obligatory to celebrate.

In addition to the listed days, you need to visit the temple throughout the year, read a prayer for repose, give alms, and distribute food to the needy.

According to the church charter, every believer needs to know about funeral services for 1 year and the rules for holding them. This is due to the fact that the soul must find a place and not rush between heaven and earth. If it is not possible to hold a wake on the date of death, then a later memorial can be held. If this day falls on a Monday, you can move it to the next Sunday. There are other rules of remembrance.

Commemoration of the dead in Orthodoxy presupposes constant remembrance of a person. It is especially good if the words are spoken out loud. Anyone can contact the church to order a prayer service, but it is better if close relatives do it: dad, mom or children.

When commemorating at dinner, you need to put a glass of water on the table, covered with bread. This is intended for the deceased. Usually people are not invited to funerals; everyone comes according to at will. Whatever you want can be on the table. But there must be kutia - church porridge, with which the commemoration begins. You can cook the food that the deceased loved.

When contacting church ministers, relatives of the deceased ask whether it is possible to remember the deceased on his birthday. You can commemorate, the period of commemoration is not limited. On your birthday, you can visit the grave, put flowers and candles. In church, order a prayer for the repose of the soul.

How to remember an unbaptized person

After the birth of a child, usually on the 40th day of his life, a baptism ceremony is performed. But it also happens that a child was not baptized in childhood; he himself did not make a decision about baptism in his life. In this case, the person has not united himself with the church, and everything remains at the discretion of the Lord. Unbaptized person he is not remembered in church and mass is not ordered for him. The funeral is held in the circle of relatives and friends. You can bring flowers and candles to the grave, but they don’t say prayers here. A proper memorial is a guarantee that the deceased will be well in the next world..

Whether it is possible to remember later the date of death and celebrate the anniversary with a delay, relatives of the deceased person are often interested. The clergy say it is possible. It is optimal to remember relatives in the exact date elapsed since the date of death. On an anniversary, it is always necessary to remember the dead, since at this time the immortal soul is reborn for eternal life. God gives life and he takes it away.

A person born into the world has his own mission and his own destiny. But life cannot go on forever. Everything comes to an end someday.

IN Orthodox faith Much is said about burial rites and memorial customs. During the commemoration, people pay tribute to loved ones and relatives who have passed into the other world of the Kingdom of Heaven. With the help of Prayer, they ask God for the soul to rest and go to heaven.

IN modern world people have moved away from the church and do not observe customs, because of this questions often arise about proper organization funeral and wake.

A funeral service is a ceremony in which the memory of deceased relatives and friends should be honored.

The anniversary of death should always be accompanied by a wake. They are necessary to alleviate the suffering of the deceased, forgive sins and ease the path to the afterlife. The commemoration of the dead must necessarily be accompanied by a prayer so that the one who has left the earthly abode will find eternal peace. The clergy in the church and loved ones at home pray for them. For God, everyone is one, both in heaven and on earth.

Rules for holding memorial days

The organization of the memorial day must be thought out in advance, and try to spend it in a calm and leisurely atmosphere. the main objective this date - remember kind words a deceased person, to honor his memory, to gather people whom the deceased would be very glad to see during his lifetime. Remember all the good things that are associated with him. To alleviate mental suffering, you are allowed to watch a video, photo album, remembering happy and cheerful moments of life.

There are certain rules in holding memorial days, but people do it in different ways. Many people go to the cemetery (you should not take food or alcoholic drinks with you), clean up the grave, bring flowers, light candles, and have funeral dinners. Others distribute clothes left over from the deceased, donate money to the church, and treat friends with sweets and cookies.

In order to, it is necessary:

• in the first half of daylight hours of the day of death of the deceased, visit the cemetery;
• order a funeral prayer at the church and help people in need;
• light a candle for the repose of the soul;
• gather loved ones and remember the deceased at the funeral table.

After death, funeral services are organized several times:

1. On the day when a loved one left this world, or the next.
2. On the third day, when the soul of the deceased ascends to heaven. During this period they are usually buried.
3. On the ninth day from the time of death.
4. For forty days.
5. 6 months from the date of death, and then every year.

At a wake, as a rule, all the close friends and relatives of the deceased gather. You can come to the wake of the ninth day without an invitation. It is prohibited to refuse people who wish to take part in the commemoration. Do not forget that the main thing is not the set table, but the prayer for the deceased. Before starting the meal, you must read the “Our Father.”

Is it possible to make a funeral service before the date of death? The clergy do not advise organizing a memorial ceremony in advance; it is especially not recommended to celebrate the fortieth day earlier.

It is not advisable to remember a deceased person on his date of birth.

These relatives seem to give his soul no peace. You can remember in thoughts and prayers, but not at the refectory table

What not to do at a wake:

• It is not allowed to start conversations on abstract topics at a wake;
• drink strong alcoholic drinks;
• Under no circumstances should you speak badly about the deceased, shout, make trouble, or loudly express your emotions.

Postponement of the funeral ceremony

We are all human, and it often happens that celebrating a funeral on a certain day is inconvenient or impossible: work, health conditions and other reasons do not allow a funeral ceremony. Therefore, this begs the question: is it permissible to postpone the date of the funeral? What is the correct way to do them - earlier or later than the date of death?

A meal on the anniversary of death is not at all a mandatory observance of tradition. We must proceed from objective reasons and build on the current situation.

• during Holy Easter;
• for Holy Week during Lent.

These days, all people’s thoughts should be directed to the great sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and on Easter all believers should rejoice at the news of the resurrection. It would be reasonable to move the commemoration to Radonitsa - this is the day of remembrance of all the dead. On Christmas Eve, it is better to celebrate the memorial day on the eighth, this will be a good sign of birth on eternal life. There is a custom after Easter to leave Easter cake and colored eggs on the windowsill so that souls will find their home, eat, and return to heaven on Sunday.

At the same time, we cannot help but remember that for our deceased relatives and loved ones, prayer for them is important.

To do this, you need to order a liturgy for the repose of the soul of the deceased. The main thing on the day of death is to pray, and you can gather people around the table on the day off after the anniversary of the death.

Every religion has its own traditions of remembrance

All religions of peoples have specially designated days for commemorating those who have passed on to another world. When for some reason it is not possible to remember loved ones on the anniversary of death, then this can be done on memorial days. In each religious direction, the dates do not coincide:

1. Radonitsa is a day of remembrance for Orthodox believers. It is celebrated on Tuesday in the second week after Easter. In addition to this day, there are 5 more similar dates.
2. Catholics celebrate All Souls' Day on November 2. The third, seventh and thirtieth days after death are considered optional.
3. There are no specific days in Islam. It is important that close relatives pray for the deceased, remembering with kind words. People should do good deeds at this time. Caring for orphans and helping people in need is approved. One rule must be observed - no one should know in whose name good deeds are done.
4. The festival of Ulambana falls on the seventh month from the first to the fifteenth day. Lunar calendar. These days, Buddhists remember all the dead.

In our country, for a long time, the memory of those who died in Radonitsa has been revered. Radonitskaya week begins with Krasnaya Gorka on Sunday and continues on Monday and Tuesday. It is believed that the souls of the departed visit the earth from Maundy Thursday until Radonitskaya Week, and on Tuesday they return to their permanent abode, therefore Tuesday is considered the most successful day for seeing off those who have gone to another world.

Everyone knows that the dead must be remembered and not forgotten. There is a connection between deceased and living people, but not everyone feels it the same way. Why do people who have recently lost a loved one often have dreams about them? Sometimes they even feel his presence and can mentally talk to him. Usually in such cases it is recommended to remember the deceased, visit the grave, go to church, pray, and do good deeds and deeds. It may not always be possible to hold a memorial ceremony on time, but you can always leave a note to the priest, and he will read a prayer for the repose of the soul, so that the Lord will grant the deceased the Kingdom of Heaven.

Death is the beginning of a new life, and earthly life is only a preparation for it.

According to Orthodox traditions, the soul of a deceased person wanders the earth for forty days, saying goodbye to his family and friends. The fortieth day is very important for the soul, it is then that it appears before the face of God and is responsible for all its life actions. On this day, the soul itself is no longer able to change anything, but this is subject to the relatives and friends of the deceased. Our ancestors sacredly revered church traditions, and they instilled this in us. But today's rhythm of life sometimes confronts us with difficult choice. No one can stop time or make it go faster; funerals do not always coincide with our weekends, and the question remains relevant for many: Is it possible to remember forty days earlier?

Tribute to tradition

The day of death is considered the first day when the soul begins to wander between worlds. The wanderings end at the fortieth - the decision to future fate souls. The importance of this moment cannot be overestimated. The most important thing we can do is to pray for a person, remember all his positive qualities. With our prayers and memories we ask higher power give a positive verdict and be merciful.

The deceased should be commemorated throughout the entire forty days, so to the question of whether it is possible to commemorate a person earlier, the answer can only be “yes.” However, it is on the 40th day that you need to visit the church and order a funeral prayer. Try to remember the deceased with kind words as often as possible.

If you can't host a 40th day memorial dinner, don't worry. The funeral meal itself has no meaning for the deceased. What is important is not a rich table and all kinds of dishes, but what is important is your attention, prayers and memories. Submit a note to the church for the liturgy, attend the service on the 40th day, after which order a memorial service.

Prayerful remembrance

The tradition of gathering loved ones at the funeral table has existed for many years, church ministers they note that in particular important days After the death of a person, it is prayerful commemorations, and not funeral dinners, that play a huge role. In ancient times, it was customary to share food with the poor and beggars, attend the service and order a memorial prayer in the name of saving the soul of the deceased.

It should be noted that memorial days often occur on major church holidays. The clergy urge people to spend time not at the table with friends and loved ones, but in church - in prayer for the soul and in the name of all saints.

It is very important not only to order a prayer for the repose of the soul, but also to be present in the temple at this time, turning to the Lord along with everyone. It is the prayerful remembrance that should not be postponed to a day earlier or later; it should be carried out on important days for the soul - the 3rd, 9th and 40th after death.

After visiting the temple or praying on the 9th day, it is also customary to prepare a table for the friends and relatives of the deceased. In most cases, Orthodox Christians, including in Russia, of course, follow this rule and organize a funeral without fail.

However, sometimes it happens that it is not possible to organize a meal on the 9th day for some serious reason. And of course, in this case, the relatives have a question about whether it is possible to hold the wake earlier or later.

Meaning of the 9th day

According to Orthodox canons, for 2 days after death, the soul of the deceased remains on earth and visits its usual places, saying goodbye to loved ones. On the third day, the deceased appears before God.

Over the next 6 days, the soul is shown heaven and the abodes of saints. On the 9th day he is taken to hell, where over the next 30 days angels introduce him to the places of torment of sinners.

On the 40th day, the soul of the deceased is again called to God. And at this moment he already decides where she will stay in the future - in heaven or in hell - until the Last Judgment.

Is it possible to celebrate the 9th day earlier or later: the opinion of priests

Since this date for the deceased, according to the views of the Church, is truly of great importance, it is not recommended to postpone it. However, the priests believe that the most important thing is not the organization of the funeral itself, but the prayers for the deceased.

This means that on the 9th day it is imperative to go to church or pray for a departed loved one at home. If for some reason it is not possible to gather relatives and friends on this day, you should at least distribute the funeral food to your acquaintances and, of course, to the sick and poor. Actually, the funeral meal itself can be postponed to a later date.

When it is impossible to assemble a funeral table

Thus, only prayer for the deceased is obligatory on the 9th day in Orthodoxy. In the church, the priests recommend standing for the liturgy and ordering a memorial service for the deceased. It is not necessary to organize a memorial meal on this day.

Moreover, in Orthodoxy on some days it is not even allowed to hold a funeral. For example, you cannot do this on Easter. It is not recommended to assemble a table for the deceased and Lent. If the 9th day falls at this time, you need to pray for the deceased and postpone the organization of the meal to a later date. At the same time, organizing a funeral earlier in Orthodoxy is still not recommended.

The Christian Church teaches us that man, who was once created immortal, original sin Adam and Eve lost this greatest gift. Since then he became perishable and, having passed life path, released to him by the Lord, leaves the earthly world, taking with him the burden of sins committed, but not atoned for by repentance. Therefore, our prayers and rituals are extremely important for him to find eternal peace. How the deceased are remembered on the anniversary of death (one year after death) will be discussed in this article.

Commemorations of the deceased preceding the anniversary of death

After a person’s heart has stopped beating and he has appeared before the gates of eternity, the Orthodox Church prescribes his threefold commemoration. It takes place on the third, ninth and fortieth day after death. It is necessary to briefly mention them, because otherwise the story about how to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death will be incomplete.

The commemoration of the deceased on the third day is performed in commemoration of the three-day resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ. It is generally accepted that for the first two days after parting with the body, the soul, accompanied by angels, still wanders near places dear to it from earthly memories. On the third day, the angels take her to heaven to worship the Almighty. Thus, the day of the first appearance before the Lord is the beginning of the memorial cycle, the completion of which will be the anniversary of death. How to remember according to church custom on this still distant day will be described below.

The next rite is performed on the ninth day, symbolizing the nine ranks of angels interceding with the Lord for the repose of the soul of His deceased servant. The Church teaches that after the third day the soul leaves the earthly world and is transported by angels to the heavenly abodes, which it contemplates for six days.

After this, she performs a second worship of the Lord and is thrown into hell, where she will remain until the fortieth day, continuously contemplating the torment endured by unrepentant sinners. And only after the soul has been shown the bliss of the righteous and the suffering of the wicked, it appears before the Almighty, who, based on earthly affairs, determines its place of stay until the Last Judgment.

The third, ninth, and especially the fortieth day are as important as the anniversary of death. How to remember the deceased at these stages of his stay in the afterlife is a topic for a special conversation, but we will turn to the ritual performed a year after his death.

Daily prayer for the departed

From time immemorial, among Orthodox people there has been a pious custom of commemorating in church on the anniversary of the death of everyone who has passed away, regardless of how many years have passed since that sad day. However, this does not eliminate the need to be at home during morning and evening readings. prayer rule, and these days everything large quantity people comply with this church injunction, along with the texts contained in them, to say several funeral prayers. You can find them on the pages of an ordinary Orthodox Prayer Book.

The time that has passed since the death of a person close to us dulls the pain of the loss suffered, but despite this, it is necessary to remember how necessary memorial prayers are for him beyond the threshold of eternity, especially on the day when the anniversary of death has arrived. How to remember the deceased in order to help his soul free himself from the burden of sins? Many church fathers, who gained fame with their theological works, wrote about this.

Preliminary cleansing of your own soul

If we look at their writings, in most of them we can see how great importance The authors impart spiritual and physical purity to those who intend with their prayers to alleviate the posthumous fate of people close to them. In other words, before you begin to pray for the forgiveness of other people's sins, you need to repent of your own. Everyone knows that the prayer of a righteous person is heard more often than the requests of one who is mired in sin.

In addition, speaking about how to properly commemorate on the anniversary of death, the holy fathers strongly recommend starting to prepare for this important matter from his post, even if it is short-lived. One - maximum two days of abstinence from fast foods - meat, fish and dairy products - will help by overcoming the carnal and sometimes sinful aspirations that are so inherent in human nature, direct your thoughts to the upcoming prayer communication with God. Please note that the post in in this case is not a mandatory requirement, but is only recommended as a proven means of cleansing one’s own soul and body.

This will help our prayers for forgiveness of the sins of a loved one to be heard and find grace. The Church teaches that beyond the threshold of death it will be too late to repent of what was done during life, and only those remaining on earth are able to beg God to ease the fate of the deceased.

Continuing the conversation about how to properly commemorate the deceased on the anniversary of death, one cannot help but recall the custom of ordering regular commemoration of the deceased in the church for forty days in advance of this date. This ritual is called Sorokoust and dates back to the first centuries of the establishment of Christianity in Rus'. In this case, it serves as if preparatory stage to the main actions coming on Memorial Day.

Where to start a church commemoration?

Despite the importance of home prayers, the main importance is still attached to church service on the day when the anniversary of death occurs. How to remember the deceased in the temple of God should be learned in advance from the priest, who will help perform this rite in full accordance with the traditions of the Orthodox Church. We will focus only on some generally accepted rules.

Usually, before the start of the liturgy, a note with the name of the deceased is given for his commemoration in the altar. By the way, the names of other close people who left this world in different time. They all also need prayer support. In addition, on the day of the anniversary of death, as at any other time, it would be very appropriate to order a memorial service for the deceased.

What is a memorial service?

Since this funeral rite, accepted in Russian Orthodoxy for a long time, has a special meaning, then continuing the conversation about how to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death, it is worth dwelling on it in more detail. According to the rules set out in the Trebnik - a liturgical book regulating the procedure for performing the sacraments and other sacred rites, a memorial service can be held both in the church and in the house of the deceased, where a priest is invited for this purpose, as well as in a cemetery or in the place where life was cut short loved one. The memorial service is very close in structure to the funeral service. The only difference is that in this case several prayers are excluded from it.

Kolivo, prosphora and alms are integral parts of the ritual

In addition, the Trebnik, which indicates how the deceased are commemorated on the anniversary of death at home, in the cemetery and in the temple, is prescribed, at the end of the church ceremony, to place on the eve - a small rectangular table with a crucifix, where funeral candles usually burn - a dish filled with kutya - porridge , made from whole wheat grains and drizzled with honey. According to church tradition, it is called koliv. When leaving the church, you should take one or more prosphoras with you and eat them at home on an empty stomach before the funeral meal begins.

Regardless of whether the memorial service was held in a church, or the relatives of the deceased limited themselves to a modest home ritual, it is highly recommended on this day, as on any other, to distribute alms to those whom the vicissitudes of life forced with an outstretched hand to seek food for themselves. This humanly good deed is also the fulfillment of one of God’s main commandments, which prescribes love for neighbors and help to everyone who needs it. It should be strictly observed throughout life, and not just on the day when someone’s death anniversary occurs.

How to remember a loved one in a cemetery?

Paying tribute to memory to a loved one, on the anniversary of his death it is also customary to visit his grave. It is there that we most acutely feel the irreplaceability of the loss we have suffered. It is highly advisable to come to the cemetery a few days before and check whether the tombstone, cross and fence are in proper order. If something needs to be repaired or painted, it should be done immediately, and in any case, the cleaning should be done. In autumn, sweep away fallen leaves from the grave, in winter, remove snow, and in spring and summer, it is advisable to plant living seedlings.

On the anniversary of your death, you can visit the cemetery both before and after going to church. There are no rigid guidelines in this case, and everyone can do what is most convenient for them. The only exceptions can be those cases when the relatives of the deceased want a priest to serve the litiya at the grave. Usually there are churches in the territories of cemeteries where you can make such a request, and it is better to do this in advance, since the priest may have other requests on that day.

Ritual traditions that regulate the order of how to correctly remember the deceased on the anniversary of death allow for the performance of all appropriate actions without the participation of a priest. In this case, one of those present, and among them, as a rule, there are the closest relatives and friends of the deceased, can read the funeral prayers himself. They will be especially beneficial if those present begin to do this one by one. An integral part visiting a grave also includes laying fresh or artificial flowers and wreaths.

Funeral meals at the grave and at home

After reading the prayers, it is time for a short memorial meal, served right at the grave. The tradition of the Orthodox Church prescribes eating pancakes, jelly, and also kutya, which was discussed above. You can also add fruits and homemade cakes to this simple menu.

Unfortunately, in Soviet period, when the dominance of atheistic ideology tore people away from their original church customs, standards completely alien to true piety were developed. One of them was the tradition of drinking alcoholic beverages at the grave, and often simply getting drunk. We can say with complete confidence that this fundamentally contradicts church rules, and it doesn’t matter whether the grave is visited on an ordinary day or it’s the anniversary of death.

On the same day, it is customary to commemorate the deceased at a home meal, to which relatives are invited, as well as those who knew and loved him during his lifetime. Often one of the participants in the feast is a priest. Sometimes they rent space in a cafe or restaurant for this purpose. In order for the wake to take place in accordance with established tradition, a number of simple rules should be followed, outlined below.

The beginning of a home meal, like the one served in the cemetery, should be preceded by the same memorial prayer for the deceased. If a priest is invited to the house, then he reads, if not, then one of the relatives or several people in turn. Prayer in this case is important both for the repose of the soul of the deceased and for setting those present in a solemn mood appropriate to the given moment.

Features of the funeral table

It is quite natural that every housewife tries to set as rich a table as possible, abundant various dishes, and thereby please the tastes of all those present. However, it should be taken into account that church calendar In addition to fasting days, that is, those on which there are no restrictions on the list of foods eaten, it also provides for fasts, both one-day and multi-day.

Since the wake itself is part of Orthodox tradition, then the meal menu must meet the requirements set by the church for the day on which the anniversary of the death falls. How to remember the deceased only with Lenten treats is a question that every housewife decides independently.

It is important to take into account that no matter how richly the table is set, the meal should begin with the traditional eating of the same kutya. This custom has a very specific meaning. Wheat or any other grains from which it is prepared symbolize the resurrection of the soul, and honey poured on top is the pleasure that awaits the righteous in eternal life.

How to maintain proper atmosphere at the table

One more important point associated with home meals is right choice alcoholic drinks. If their use in a cemetery is inappropriate, as discussed above, then at a home table or in a restaurant it is permissible. However, so that the memory is not clouded dear person and his death anniversary, the day of his passing should be commemorated by taking into account the advice given below. This will help avoid unpleasant situations that often arise as a result of excessive libations.

To be on the safe side, it is not recommended to place strong 40-degree drinks on the table. It is better to give preference to church Cahors or some light wines. At the same time, it is necessary to ensure that even their use does not go beyond what is reasonable. Otherwise, a memorial meal can easily turn into an ordinary banquet, during which memories of the deceased will give way to laughter and fun that are inappropriate in this setting.

Scandals, swearing and showdowns are extremely unacceptable at the funeral table. It is advisable that during the entire dinner the conversation is only about the deceased, remembering various episodes from his life, and also talking about everything that he did good to people.

You can invite guests to view photographs of the deceased in the house or a video of him. Even if the deceased was not always distinguished by worthy behavior, the bad things on this day should be forgotten. Instead, the emphasis should be on all the good things he left behind.

Two more important questions

We must not lose sight of this very significant question: what to do if the anniversary of death coincides with any of the major church holidays? How to remember - before or after, if memorial prayers are not accepted on the day of the holiday itself (for example, on Easter)? In this case, the ceremony is postponed to the next weekend or other convenient day. But even in this case, one should go to church, confess, take communion, light a candle for the repose of the soul and give alms precisely on the anniversary of death.

There is another important problem that the death anniversary (1 year) poses to the relatives of the deceased, when they have to remember people who are not baptized or of other faiths, or even suicides. Is it even possible to pray for them, and if this is permissible, then how to do it correctly?

The answer can be found in the letter of the Apostle Paul to the Colossians, where he says that for Christ “there is neither Greek, nor Jew, nor barbarian, nor Scythian...”, but all are equal for the coming Kingdom of God. Therefore, you can and should pray for all people, since for every deceased important stage his stay in the afterlife is the anniversary of his death. To remember earlier or later depends on the calendar date, as discussed above.

The only thing that should be taken into account is the established rule of submitting memorial notes to churches only with the names of those who underwent baptism during their lifetime and did not burden themselves with the sin of suicide. For all others, you need to pray for yourself, in church and at home, in the cemetery, as well as in the place where death cut short the days of their life. One must ask the Lord to grant remission of the sins they have committed and to rest their souls in the Kingdom of Heaven.