infantilis- children's) - developmental delay, preservation in the physical appearance or behavior of features inherent in the previous age stages.

The term is used both in relation to physiological and mental phenomena.

In a figurative sense, infantilism (like childishness) is a manifestation of a naive approach in everyday life, in politics, etc.

Physiological infantilism

• In medicine, the concept of "infantilism" means a lag in physical development, which manifests itself in some people as a result of cooling, poisoning or infection of the fetus during pregnancy, oxygen deprivation during childbirth, serious diseases in the first months of life, metabolic disorders, disturbances in the activity of some glands internal secretion (gonads, thyroid gland, pituitary gland) and other factors. Such people slow down the growth and development of all physiological systems of the body.

There are genetically linked variants of infantilism.

Psychological infantilism

Mental infantilism is a person's immaturity, expressed in a delay in the formation of a personality, in which a person's behavior does not correspond to age requirements for him. Mostly the lag is manifested in the development of the emotional-volitional sphere and the preservation of children's personality traits. Naturally, infantile people are not independent, i.e. they are accustomed to the fact that others decide everything for them.

At an early age, signs of infantilism, a decrease in the level of behavioral motivations are difficult to identify. Therefore, mental infantilism is usually talked about only starting from school and adolescence, when the corresponding features begin to appear more clearly.

One of the most important factors in the development of mental infantilism is a person's parents who do not take a person seriously enough in childhood, not allowing them to make independent decisions - thereby limiting a teenager (but not a child) in freedom. That is, the parents themselves may be to blame for the infantilism of a person who was born normal.

Typical for infantile children are the predominance of play interests over educational interests, rejection of school situations and related disciplinary requirements. This leads to school maladjustment, and later - to social problems. However, infantile children are very different from mentally retarded or autistic children. They are distinguished by a higher level of abstract logical thinking, are able to transfer the learned concepts to new concrete tasks, and are more productive and independent. The dynamics of the emerging intellectual disability in infantilism is characterized by auspiciousness with a tendency to smooth out disturbances in cognitive activity.

Simple infantilism should be distinguished from disharmonious, which can lead to psychopathies.

see also

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Synonyms:

See what "Infantilism" is in other dictionaries:

infantilism- and, w. infantile adj. 1. Infantile state. Ush. 1934. Painful underdevelopment. Infantilism of the physique. ALS 1. 2. Imitation of the child's behavior. Infantilism in habits. Lex. Ush. 1934: infantiality / flattery ... Historical Dictionary of Russian Gallicisms

1. childishness; childishness, childishness (colloquial) 2. see underdevelopment Dictionary of synonyms of the Russian language. Practical guide. M .: Russian language. Z.E. Aleksandrova. 2011. infantilism ... Synonym dictionary

INFANTITY, infantilism, pl. no, wives. (book). distract. noun to the infantile; infantile state. Ushakov's explanatory dictionary. D.N. Ushakov. 1935 1940 ... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

INFANTILE, oh, oh; flax, flax. Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 ... Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

J. distract. noun by adj. infantile 2. Efremova's Explanatory Dictionary. T.F. Efremova. 2000 ... Modern explanatory dictionary of the Russian language by Efremova

Infantilism, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism, infantilism (Source: “Full accentuated paradigm for ... ... Forms of words

Infantilism- Childlike (juvenile). Infantilism is a trace of evolutionary pedomorphism in certain racial types, but the term can be applied to a specific individual. that is, for children, or having a number of inappropriate for a given age ... ... Physical Anthropology. Illustrated explanatory dictionary.

infantilism- Infant iliness, and ... Russian spelling dictionary

Infantilism- (from the Latin infantilis infantile, childish) manifestation in the psyche and behavior of military personnel of the characteristics inherent in childhood or adolescence ... Psychological and pedagogical dictionary of the officer educator of the ship unit

infantilism- see infantile; and; f. Infanti / flax physique. Infantiality / laxity of behavior. Show your childishness in everything ... Dictionary of many expressions

Books

• The personality of a politician: theory and methodology of psychological portraiture, Rakityansky Nikolai Mitrofanovich. This publication summarizes domestic and foreign experience in building a psychological portrait of a politician's personality. The history of the phenomenon and the concept of a psychological portrait and ...

54 622 0 Most adults, successful people, recall the past days of their childhood with special warmth and joy. To return, albeit mentally, to this difficult and colorful period, to relive the key moments of growing up and again feel like a pioneer is an invaluable gift of our memory. But what if a person has not overcome the necessary boundaries, remained in captivity of children's ideas about the world and continues to live like an adult child? Is infantilism a problem of our time or the absence of stereotypes and a powerful potential for development?

- this is childishness, immaturity or underdevelopment of the psyche.

Infantile man - this is a person whose behavior is dominated by immature behavior, unwillingness to take responsibility for oneself and make decisions on his own, lack of life goals and the desire to change something in himself and in his life as a whole.

Infantile personality disorder refers to the presence of childlike traits and behaviors in an adult. Psychologists argue that this disorder occurs most frequently in their practice and is the basis for other problems in the subject's life.

This problem became especially acute after 1990, when the value system in our country underwent a change. Schools stopped taking on the function of upbringing, and the parents did not have time for this, since they had to adapt to the new conditions of the emerging state.

Types of infantilism

1. Mental infantilism(psychological infantilism). Slow growing up of a child. His mental qualities are formed with a delay and do not correspond to his age. This disorder has nothing to do with mental retardation.
2. Physiological infantilism... Slow or impaired body development due to oxygen deprivation or fetal infection during pregnancy.

Signs of infantility

The subject's infantile life manifests itself at different levels of existence: from attitudes towards their own health, to ideas about marriage and the process of creating a family. The character and thinking of an infantile person is not much different from the character and thinking of a child. The subject's immaturity is manifested from both a psychological and a social perspective. We list the following main signs of infantilism, which can manifest themselves both collectively and separately:

• Independence.
• Inability to make independent decisions.
• Lack of desire to solve problems in an adult way.
• Lack of desire to develop.
• Lack of goals in life.
• Selfishness and self-centeredness.
• Unpredictability.
• Inadequacy.
• Irresponsibility.
• Addiction tendency.
• Dependent inclinations.
• Staying in your own world (impaired perception).
• Difficulty communicating.
• Inability to adapt.
• Physical inactivity.
• Small earnings.
• Lack of social promotion.

Accommodator and Dependent

Infants are in no hurry to take responsibility. They hide behind the backs of their parents, wives, friends.

Playfully

A child from infancy, through play, opens the world. The Infante lives by the game: endless parties, online games, excessive shopaholism, frequent changes of his favorite gadgets (even if he cannot afford them), etc.

An infantile person is closed on his personality, but at the same time he is not used to complex reflections and does not go deep into introspection and introspection. Because of this, it is difficult for him to understand what the other person feels, it is difficult to believe that people perceive the world in different ways. Hence the inability to take into account the interests of others. Therefore, such people often experience certain difficulties in communicating with others. It is difficult for them to get in touch. They use the phrase “ no body understands me". However, they themselves do not make the effort to understand others.

Lack of life goals

“When will I give birth to grandchildren? What am I aiming for? Why are you loading me !? I'm fine as it is! I haven’t walked up yet ”- this is the position of an infantile person.

An infantile personality is not able to analyze certain situations and predict their development, does not think about the future, does not make plans. Infantilism illustrates itself especially well when a person is not able to build certain strategies in his behavior for solving problems, achieving goals. At the same time, such a person, achieving a goal, tries to avoid complex patterns of behavior (requiring time and effort) adopted in society, and is content exclusively with those results that can satisfy his momentary need. Thus, infantilism - it is also the inability to build multi-pass combinations in behavior.

"Where do legs grow from?"

To understand that we have an infantile personality, we must first of all pay attention to her relationship with her parents. If communication with them is built on an equal basis and the subject takes care of them, then this is a good sign. If there is an active intrusion of parents into the subject's space, being surrounded by his excessive care, manifestation of obsessive behavior, and at the same time the person is not able to interrupt this flow of parental care, transfer their communication to another day and is loyal to such unhealthy attention, then this is an alarming call. which signals that we have a kind of Peter Pan - a Disney hero who did not want to grow up.

"The main concern in life is to achieve a carefree life"

Signs of infantilism can also be seen in situations where a person is constantly striving to shift responsibility to others. Responsibility is a quality opposite to infantilism. The infantile personality type often demonstrates carefree behavior, tries on the mask of a jester, seeks to have more fun and entertain others. However, other moods may live inside him, but despite this, he will continue to play the clown, due to the fact that such a role of the “soul of the company” is subject to minimal responsibility.

From a social point of view, an infantile subject will almost always be poor, he will have difficulties in finding a job, in moving up the career ladder.

Even on physiological level infantilism leaves its mark. Such people have a specific facial expression with a tinge of contempt or irony. The corners of the lips are lowered, the folds of the nasolabial triangle are frozen, as it were, in disgust for something.

When infantilism is born

Psychologists believe that infantilism arises under unfavorable conditions of upbringing in the period from 8 to 15 years. At the initial stages, the problem of infantilism manifests itself in the form of hysterics, manipulations, disobedience to parents, and an irresponsible approach to the learning process.

Psychologists believe that the reasons for infantilism should be sought in childhood, family and upbringing. Sometimes parents, being infantile themselves, set a bad example for their children. They become the cause of the immaturity of the child. Infantilism in adults leaves an imprint on their offspring. But also the excessive influence of parents, and other mistakes in upbringing, when the parent seeks to impose strong emotional ties on the child, despotically deprives him of independence, and sometimes even prevents him from expressing his opinion, lead to sad consequences. This behavior is primarily associated with a hypertrophied desire to control their children, their fate and development.

Fear for one's offspring in our society sometimes takes grotesque forms, leading to this kind of violation - complete submission and fixation of the child's thinking on the parent. On the other hand, there is an unjustified from the point of view of ethics, the position of the parent in relation to the child, which leads to the appearance in him of the so-called. Cinderella syndrome. In this case, a person acquires children solely for selfish reasons, deliberately placing the child's development in the "Procrustean bed" of serving himself or his ideas.

Constant pressure of this kind, raised to the Absolute, smoothly flows into the adult life of a person. It is very difficult for parents to rebuild and stop seeing their child in an already adult person and change the above-mentioned behavioral models associated with him. The mother or father continues to follow him relentlessly, bombarding him with calls, loading him with hundreds of tips, breaking into his personal life. The full-fledged person meets such aggressive tutelage with stiff resistance. However, an infantile person accepts and easily reconciles with her, justifying such an invasion of personal space with parental love. In fact, there is a substitution of concepts, and "love for parents" hides a fear of responsibility and independence.

Sooner or later, the wrong approach to parenting will lead to the association of parent and child. The psychological space of the first will gradually merge with the psychological space of the second, uniting two separate social and psychological units "I" and "she" ("he") into one single "we". An infantile person will not be able to act separately, outside of this bundle.

However, the modern problem of infantilism is also a problem of lack of time. Raising a child requires constant focus on his development. Not all parents can afford it due to their constant employment. In this case, parental influence is replaced by other things:

• watching movies,
• computer,
• listening to music.
• etc.

Such a surrogate for upbringing does not bring much benefit, but, on the contrary, develops in the child the illusion of permissiveness, a manipulative approach to others.

Psychologists are also throwing a stone into the garden of the modern school education system. According to experts, today's schools "cripple children." Everyone has a so-called. sensitive periods in development, when he is most open to perceiving the information he needs and learning the necessary skills (upright posture, speech, etc.). The school period, which coincides with the sensitive period of assimilation of social norms (from 7 to 14 years old), unfortunately, is considered unfavorable for growing up.

Today's schools concentrate exclusively on knowledge of general education subjects, discarding the education process. The teenager does not get the necessary idea that “ what is good and what is bad". Such a gap in the moral formation of the personality reinforces infantile patterns, leading, ultimately, to immaturity. From the age of 14, a sensitive period begins in which a person strives for independence. The school bench again does not allow him to realize this desire, limiting it to the framework of training. Thus, the missed periods of personality formation lead to desocialization and lack of independence - the main signs of infantilism.

How infantility manifests itself in men, women, children

Infantilism has gender differentiation. It can affect both men and women. Experts say that male infantilism is no different from female. The bulk of the differences in the manifestation of infantility among sexes and different age groups lies in the social views of these groups.

Sexual sign of infantilism takes place: both a man and a woman can be infantile. In this case, the symptomatology of the problem has few differences, however, it acquires its own characteristics if you look at it through the prism of social attitudes. Society makes more demands on a man. Infantile man is more often condemned in society than infantile woman (compare the phraseological units "mama's son" and "daddy's daughter" and pay attention to the presence of a greater negative coloration in the first in relation to the second).

Infantilism in men indicates an unreliable economic condition, an inability to find a soul mate, create a family and provide for it.

People around them often turn a blind eye to infantilism in women, and sometimes they encourage the girl to be a little child. This is due to the fact that a man is often pleased to be in the company of a dependent woman, whom he must take care of, thereby strengthening and emphasizing his status as a breadwinner and a reputation as a leader. And a woman, in turn, is often impressed by the role of dependent and slave, who has her own "master", which greatly facilitates her existence in terms of decision-making and corresponds to the gender role that has been established in society.

Infantilism in children

However, the beginnings of immaturity can be discerned in a child. Infantilism is what should be inherent in children and this is quite consistent with the norm. Nevertheless, it is possible to predict the tendency for the transfer of this condition into adulthood, if we pay attention to the attitude of parents towards their child. If he constantly shirks obligations and responsibilities, and his parents indulge him in this, then there is every chance that he will grow up immature. Also, the predominance of the game sphere over the educational one, in the life of a child, can have a bad effect on his development.

Infantilism in children, which manifests itself during study, can alert teachers. In this case, they talk about the presence of prerequisites that signal a problem with growing up. Such factors include the predominance of play motives in the classroom, restlessness, difficulty concentrating, emotional instability, emotional immaturity, hysteria. Often such children cannot join in the general work in the lesson: they ask abstract questions, do not complete assignments. Their social circle consists of children younger than themselves. This may indicate a delayed development of the child (psychological infantilism) and lead to problems in the formation of the personality. Such children often become withdrawn, suffer from neuroses.

Is infantilism a problem or not ?!

Psychologists do not allow themselves to be led into temptation in order to somehow justify infantilism. For them, this is not a separate way of life, not a different view of the world, and even more so not belonging to any subculture. According to experts, this is precisely a problem characterized, first of all, by the impossibility of achieving success in the self-realization of an individual within certain social frameworks.

It is worth noting that, despite being unfit for adulthood, such people often demonstrate high creative potential. An infantile lifestyle, which often takes place against the background of the absence of some kind of framework and self-restraint, stimulates the work of the right hemisphere of the human brain. The increased activity of the creative center leads to daydreaming, immersion in fantasy. Such people can be good artists or musicians.

"Children cannot have children." Sergey Shnurov about infantilism and who a mature man is.

How infantilism manifests itself in a relationship

Any contacts of an infantile person with people who are mature from a psychological point of view will cause irritation on their part and lead to conflicts. An accomplished personality expects from his environment the same adequate actions that he is guided by. An immature subject who does not differ in the ability to clearly perceive the world around him and adapt to circumstances will cause a full-fledged personality some difficulties in communicating with himself and even irritation towards himself.

The wrong parenting strategy leaves an indelible mark on the human psyche. Therefore, communicating with people, such a person will unconsciously reach out to those who will take the position of a parent in relation to him. Indeed, in other cases, his infantilism in a relationship will only run into conflicts.

So, for example, looking for a mate, infantile boys or girls will first of all strive to find a second mother or a second dad, respectively (often their parents do it for them, acting as a matchmaker). If they succeed, and a partner who will completely play out the role they need is found, then we can talk about a successful combination of circumstances.

Usually, the chosen ones of such people are older, socially active individuals. However, in this case, the conflict will not disappear. It automatically flows into the plane of the relationship of a new “mom” or a new “dad” with the biological parents of the infantile subject. A competitive struggle for custody of the "child" may unfold between them. The winners of this struggle are usually real mothers or fathers, who manage to push back their wives or husbands, and take their usual dominant position over their child. Naturally, in this case, the conflict will affect the young family, often leading to its disintegration.

An infantile person is well aware of his situation and the problems that arise from it. In part, he even admits that he is living an incomplete life and does not deny the associated suffering. However, psychologists believe that no immature subject will ever change on its own. It is difficult for him to take independent steps towards positive changes, to leave his comfort zone.

How to deal with infantilism? Psychologists argue that it is useless for non-specialists to try to change such people. If moms and dads did not teach the child to be independent at the stages when these foundations are laid, and their child grew up as an insecure and helpless person, then only a psychologist can help here.

Therefore, if the problem was discovered in the early stages (in adolescence), then you should not delay a visit to a specialist. Positive changes can only be achieved through group consultations with a psychologist. Moreover, the older a person is, the harder it will be for him to change.

In order not to bring this problem to the psychologist's office, parents must properly organize the upbringing process. There are techniques that psychologists share when telling how to get rid of infantility:

1. Consult with the child, ask his opinion, discuss certain problems. Discuss the family budget together. This will increase his confidence, make it clear that he is on an equal footing with his parents, both in terms of rights and in terms of responsibility.
2. Don't let your child close in their comfort zone. Find out what difficulties he is experiencing. From time to time, create a situation in which he will experience difficulties so that he can overcome them on his own.
3. Give your child to the sports section. Children who go in for sports, according to statistics, become more responsible and purposeful.
4. Encourage your child to interact with peers and older people.
5. Work on bugs. Explain in which situations the child was right and in which he was not.
6. Avoid thinking in terms of “we” in relation to children. Divide this concept into "I" and "you". This will allow them to be more independent.
7. Children's infantilism is amenable to medical correction. A neuropsychiatrist can prescribe drugs (nootropics) that improve brain activity, memory, concentration.

Here are some tips from a psychologist that will show how to grow up a man or how to grow up a girl:

1. Realize, accept the fact that you are an infantile person.
2. Deliberately put yourself in a situation that requires independent decision-making: get a job where there will be some responsibility.
3. Get a pet that you have to take care of and look after. This will lead to a gradual accustoming to responsibility.
4. Ask loved ones not to indulge their infantilism.
5. Get out of your comfort zone - move to another city, start a new life.

Today, in our country, there is a clear bias towards female education. At school we are taught by a woman, at home - by mother and grandmother, at the university women are predominant teachers ... The image of a man, father, protector, breadwinner and the war comes to naught, which bears fruit - boys are not able to make decisions, get married late, get divorced, cannot build a career.

Solution: you need to restore the harmony of masculine and feminine principles. Scold your father on the sidelines, but not in front of your child. Give the child the opportunity to solve life problems on his own: offer the child himself to decide which shoes to wear for a walk, let the teenager help you nail a nail or the opportunity to decide where to hang a shelf for him.

The discovery has long been made that three hypostases live in us:

• child,
• adult,
• parent.

Each of this aspect of the personality requires manifestation from time to time in order for a person to feel comfortable. However, if you focus on one of them, it will not bring happiness. Living life while staying young at heart is partly an achievement. Nevertheless, for a full life, one cannot play the role of only a child, turning into an infant, or forever take the position of a parent, becoming a strict controller. This world lives by its own rules, and it is our responsibility to adapt to them. However, such adaptation is possible only if the balance between our hypostases is maintained.

Why are there more and more infantile men and women?

Today we will analyze a completely ambiguous topic - infantilism. The term "infantilism" comes from the word "infant".

From Wikipedia: Infant, the female form of infante (Spanish infante, port infant) is the title of all princes and princesses of the royal house in Spain and Portugal.

Infantilism (from lat.infantilis - children)- this is immaturity in development, the preservation in the physical appearance or behavior of traits inherent in previous age stages.

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In a figurative sense, infantilism (like childishness) is a manifestation of a naive approach in everyday life, in politics, in relationships, etc.

For a more complete picture, it should be noted that infantilism is mental and psychological. And their main difference is not an external manifestation, but the causes of its occurrence.

External manifestations in mental and psychological infantilism are similar and they are expressed in the manifestation of children's traits in behavior, in thinking, in emotional reactions.

To understand the difference between mental and psychological infantilism, it is necessary to understand the causes of its occurrence.

Mental infantilism

It arises as a result of lag and delay in the child's psyche. In other words, there is a delay in the formation of personality, caused by a delay in development in the emotional and volitional spheres. The emotional-volitional sphere is the basis on which the personality is built. Without such a base, a person, in principle, cannot grow up and at any age remains an “eternal” child.

It should also be noted here that infantile children differ from mentally retarded or autistic. Their mental sphere can be developed, they can have a high level of abstract-logical thinking, are able to apply the knowledge gained, be intellectually developed and independent.

Mental infantilism cannot be detected in early childhood, it can be noticed only when a child of school or adolescence begins to dominate play interests over educational ones.

In other words, the child's interest is limited only to games and fantasies, everything that goes beyond the framework of this world is not accepted, not investigated and is perceived as something unpleasant, complex, alien imposed from the outside.

Behavior becomes primitive and predictable, from any disciplinary requirements the child goes even more into the world of play and fantasy. Over time, this leads to problems of social adaptation.

As an example, a child can spend hours playing on the computer, sincerely not understanding why they need to brush their teeth, make the bed, or go to school. Everything outside the game is alien, unnecessary, incomprehensible.

It should be noted that parents may be guilty of the infantilism of a person who was born normal. A frivolous attitude towards a child in childhood, a prohibition on making independent decisions for a teenager, a constant restriction of his freedom just leads to the underdevelopment of the emotional-volitional sphere.

Psychological infantilism

With psychological infantilism, the child has a healthy psyche without lagging behind. He may well correspond to his development in age, but in practice this does not happen, because for a number of reasons he chooses the role of a child in his behavior.

In general, the main difference between mental and psychological infantilism can be expressed as follows:

Mental infantilism: I can't, even if I want to.

Psychological infantilism: I don't want to, even if I can.

The general theory is clear. Now more specifically.

How infantilism appears

According to psychologists, infantilism is not an innate quality, but acquired through education. So what are parents and caregivers doing that make a child grow up infantile?

Again, according to psychologists, infantility develops in the period from 8 to 12 years. Let's not argue, but just observe how it happens.

In the period from 8 to 12 years old, the child can already take responsibility for his actions. But in order for a child to begin to perform independent actions, he needs to be trusted. This is where the main "evil" lies, which leads to infantilism.

Here are some examples of nurturing infantility:

• “Can't you write your essay? I will help, I used to write essays well, ”says my mother.

• "I know better how to do it right!"

• "You will listen to your mother, and you will be fine."

• "What opinion can you have!"

• "I said so it will be!"

• "Your hands are growing out of the wrong place!"

• "Yes, everything is always like not with people."

• "Move away, I'll do it myself."

• "Well, of course, whatever he does not undertake, he will break everything!"

This is how parents gradually put programs in their children. Some children, of course, will go against the grain and will do in their own way, but they may get such pressure that the desire to do anything will disappear altogether and, moreover, forever.

Over the years, a child may believe that his parents are right, that he is a failure, that he cannot do anything right, and that others can do it much better. And if there is still a suppression of feelings and emotions, the child will never get to know them and then his emotional sphere will not be developed.

• "You will still cry for me here!"

• “Why are you yelling? Painfully? You have to endure. "

• "Boys never cry!"

• "Why are you yelling like crazy."

All this can be characterized by the following phrase: "Child, do not interfere with our life." Unfortunately, this is the main requirement of parents for their children, to be quiet, obedient and not interfere. So why then be surprised that infantilism is ubiquitous.

By and large, parents unconsciously suppress the child's will and feelings.

This is one of the options. But there are others. For example, when a mother is raising her son (or daughter) alone. She begins to take care of the child more than he needs. She wants him to grow up to be some very famous, to prove to the whole world what a talent he is, so that her mother can be proud of him.

The key word was that the mother could be proud. In this case, you don't even think about the child, the main thing is to satisfy your ambitions. Such a mother will be happy to find an occupation for her child that will appeal to him, will put all her strength and money on it, and will take on all the difficulties that may arise during such a hobby.

So talented but not adapted children grow up. It will be good if then there is a woman who wants to serve this talent. And if not? And if it turns out that there is essentially no talent either. Can you guess what awaits such a child in life? And my mother will grieve: “Well, why is he like that! I did so much for him! " Yes, not for him, but FOR HIM, that's why he is like that.

Another example, when parents do not cherish a soul in their child. From childhood, he only hears how wonderful he is, how talented, how clever and everything like that. The child's self-esteem becomes so high that he is sure that he deserves more for nothing and will not put in any effort to achieve this more.

Parents themselves will do everything for him and will watch with admiration how he breaks toys (he is so inquisitive), how he offends children in the yard (he is so strong), etc. And when faced with real difficulties in life, he will deflate like a bubble.

Another, very vivid example of the birth of infantilism, the violent divorce of parents, when the child feels unnecessary. Parents sort things out among themselves, and the child becomes a hostage of these relations.

All the strength and energy of the parents is directed to “annoy” the other side. The child does not understand what is really happening and often begins to take responsibility for himself - dad left because of me, I was a bad son (daughter).

This burden becomes exorbitant and the emotional sphere is suppressed, when the child does not understand what is happening to him, and there is no adult nearby who would help him understand himself and what is happening. The child begins to “withdraw into himself”, isolate himself and live in his own world, where he is comfortable and well. The real world is presented as something frightening, evil and unacceptable.

I think that you yourself can give many such examples, and maybe you even recognize yourself or your parents in some way. Any result of upbringing that leads to the suppression of the emotional-volitional sphere leads to infantilism.

Just take your time to blame your parents for everything. This is very convenient and this is also one of the forms of manifestation of infantilism. Better look at what you are doing with your children now.

You see, in order to educate a person, you yourself need to be a person. And in order for a conscious child to grow up nearby, it is necessary that the parents also be conscious. But is it really so?

Are you dumping irritation on your children for your unresolved problems (suppression of the emotional sphere)? Are you trying to impose your vision of life on children (suppression of the volitional sphere)?

We unconsciously make the same mistakes that our parents made, and if we do not realize them, then our children will make the same mistakes in raising their children. Alas, this is so.

Once again for understanding:

Mental infantilism is an undeveloped emotional and volitional sphere;

Psychological infantilism is a suppressed emotional-volitional sphere.

How infantilism manifests itself

The manifestations of mental and psychological infantilism are practically the same. Their difference is that with mental infantilism, a person cannot consciously and independently change his behavior, even if he has a motive.

And with psychological infantilism, a person can change his behavior when a motive appears, but most often he does not change from a desire to leave everything as it is.

Let's look at specific examples of the manifestation of infantilism.

A person has achieved success in science or art, but in everyday life he turns out to be completely unfit. In his activities, he feels himself to be an adult and competent, but an absolute child in everyday life and in relationships. And he is trying to find someone who will take over the sphere of life in which you can remain a child.

Adult sons and daughters continue to live with their parents and do not create their own families. With parents, everything is familiar and familiar, you can remain an eternal child, for whom all everyday problems will be solved.

Starting your own family means taking responsibility for your life and facing certain challenges.

Suppose that it becomes unbearable to live with parents, they also begin to demand something. If another person appears in a person's life, onto whom the responsibility can be shifted, then he will leave the parental home, and will continue to lead the same lifestyle as with his parents - not to take on anything and not be responsible for anything.

Only infantilism can push a man or woman to abandon his family, neglect his obligations in order to try to regain his departed youth.

Constantly changing jobs due to unwillingness to exert effort or gaining mythical experience.

The search for a "savior" or "magic pill" is also a sign of infantilism.

The main criterion is the inability and unwillingness to take responsibility for their lives, not to mention the lives of loved ones. And as they wrote in the comments: “The worst thing is to be with a person and to know that you cannot rely on him at a critical moment! Such people create families, give birth to children and shift the responsibility onto other shoulders! "

What infantilism looks like

It is not always possible at first glance to determine whether a person is infantile in front of you or not. Infantilism will begin to manifest itself in interaction, and especially at critical moments in life, when a person seems to slow down, does not make any decision and expects someone to take responsibility for him.

Infantile people can be compared to eternal children who do not really care about anything. Moreover, they are not only not interested in other people, but they do not want themselves (psychological infantilism) or cannot (psychic) ​​take care of themselves.

If we talk about male infantilism, then this is definitely the behavior of a child who needs not a woman, but a mother who takes care of him. Many women fall for this bait, and then begin to be indignant: “Why should I do it all the time? And earn money, and maintain a house, and take care of children, and build relationships. And in general, is there a man nearby? "

The question immediately arises: “A man? Who did you marry? Who was the initiator of the acquaintance, meetings? Who made the decisions on how and where to spend the evening together? Who was always thinking about where to go and what to do? " These questions are endless.

If you took everything upon yourself from the very beginning, invented and did everything yourself, and the man simply obediently performed it, then did you marry an ADULT MAN? It seems to me that you married a CHILD. Only you were so in love that you didn't notice it right away.

What to do

This is the most important question that arises. Let's look at it first in relation to a child, if you are a parent. Then about an adult who continues to be a child in life. (This issue is discussed in the article What to do if you have an infantile husband. Ed.)

And the last thing, if you saw the traits of infantilism in yourself and decided to change something in yourself, but you don’t know how.

1. What to do if you have an infantile child growing up.

Let's talk together - what do you want to get as a result of raising a child, what do you do and what needs to be done to get the desired result?

The task of each parent is to adapt the child to an independent life without parents and teach him how to live in interaction with other people so that he can create his own happy family.

There are several mistakes that lead to the development of infantilism. Here is some of them.

Mistake 1. Sacrifice

This mistake manifests itself when parents begin to live for their children, trying to give the child the best, so that he has everything, that he is dressed no worse than others, so that he can study at the institute, while denying himself everything.

One’s own life, as it were, becomes unimportant in comparison with the life of a child. Parents can work several jobs, be malnourished, sleep deprived, not take care of themselves and their health, if only the child is doing well, if only he learns and grows up as a human being. Most often, single parents do this.

At first glance, it seems that the parents put their whole soul into the child, but the result is disastrous, the child grows up incapable of appreciating his parents and the care they gave.

What is really going on. From an early age, a child gets used to the fact that parents live and work only for the sake of their well-being. He gets used to getting everything ready. The question arises, if a person is used to receiving everything ready, will he, then himself, be able to do something for himself or will he wait for someone to do for him?

And while not just waiting, but demanding with your behavior that you should, because there is no experience to do something on your own, and it was the parents who did not give this experience, because everything was always for him and only for his sake. He seriously does not understand why it should be different and how it is possible at all.

And the child does not understand why and for what he should be grateful to his parents, if it should be so. Sacrificing yourself is like crippling your life and the life of a child.

What to do. You need to start with yourself, learn to value yourself and your life. If the parents do not value their life, the child will take it for granted and will also not value the life of the parents, and, therefore, the lives of other people. For him, life for his sake will become the rule in relationships, he will use others and consider it an absolutely normal behavior, because he was taught that way, he simply does not know how to do otherwise.

Think if the child is interested in you if you have nothing to give besides taking care of him? If nothing happens in your life that could attract a child, to share your interests, to feel like a member of a community - a family?

And is it worth it then to be surprised if the child will find entertainment on the side such as drinking, drugs, mindless walks, etc., after all, he is used to only getting what he is given. And how can he be proud of you and respect you if you are nothing of yourself, if all your interests are only around him?

Mistake 2. "I'll spread the clouds with my hands" or I will solve all the problems for you

This mistake manifests itself in pity, when the parents decide that there will be enough problems for the child's life, and let him at least remain a child with them. And in the end, an eternal child. Pity can be caused by a lack of confidence that the child can take care of himself in some way. And mistrust, again, arises from the fact that the child was not taught to take care of himself on his own.

What it looks like:

• "You are tired, take a rest, I will finish it."

• “You’ll have time to work out more! Let me do it for you. "

• "You still have to do your homework, okay, go, I'll wash the dishes myself."

• "We need to come to an agreement with Marivanna so that she would tell who needs it, so that you can go to study without any problems."

And stuff like that.

By and large, parents begin to feel sorry for their child, he is tired, he has a big load, he is small, does not know life. And the fact that the parents themselves do not rest and that they have no less load, and that not everyone themselves once knew, for some reason is forgotten about it.

All the homework, the arrangement in life, falls on the shoulders of the parents. “This is my child, if I don’t feel sorry for him, I don’t do something for him (read: for him), who else will take care of him? And after a while, when the child gets used to the fact that everything will be done for him, the parents wonder why the child is not adapted to anything and they have to do everything themselves. But for him this is already the norm of behavior.

What does this lead to. A child, if it is a boy, will look for a wife of the same kind, behind whose back one can warmly settle down and hide from the hardships of life. She will feed, clean and earn money, it is warm and reliable with her.

If the child is a girl, then she will look for a man who will play the role of a dad, who will solve all problems for her, support her and not burden her with anything.

What to do. First, pay attention to what your child is doing, what responsibilities he does around the house. If not, then first of all it is necessary that the child has his own responsibilities.

It is not so difficult to teach a child to take out the trash, wash dishes, clean up toys and things, keep his room in order. But responsibilities must not only be imputed, but taught how and what to do and explain why. In no case should such a phrase be heard: "You must study well, this is your duty, and I will do everything around the house myself."

He must be responsible for his duties. The child is tired, not tired, it doesn't matter, in the end, you can rest and fulfill your duties, this is his responsibility. Isn't that what you yourself do? Does someone do something for you? Your task is to learn not to regret and not do the work for him, if you want him not to grow up infantile. It is pity and distrust that a child can do something himself well and does not give an opportunity to educate the volitional sphere.

Mistake 3. Excessive love, expressed in constant admiration, affection, elevation above others and permissiveness

What this can lead to. To the fact that he will never learn to love (and therefore give), and parents as well. At first glance, it will seem that he knows how to love, but all his love, it is conditional and only in response, and with any comment, doubt about his “genius” or in the absence of admiration, it will “disappear”.

As a result of such upbringing, the child is sure that the whole world should admire and indulge him. And if this does not happen, then everyone around is bad, unable to love. Although it is he who is not capable of love, he was not taught this.

As a result, he will choose a protective phrase: “I am what I am and accept me that way, I don’t like it, I don’t hold”. He will take the love of others calmly for granted and, having no response inside, hurt those who love him, including his parents.

This is often perceived as a manifestation of selfishness, but the problem is much deeper, such a child does not have a developed emotional sphere. He just has nothing to love. Being in the center of attention all the time, he did not learn to trust his feelings and the child did not develop a sincere interest in other people.

Another option is when parents "protect" their child, who knocked on the threshold, in this way: "Wow, what a threshold is not good, offended our boy!" From childhood, the child is taught that everyone around him is to blame for his troubles.

What to do. Again, it is necessary to start with the parents, for whom it is also time to grow up and stop seeing in their child a toy, an object of adoration. A child is an independent autonomous person who needs to be in the real world, not the one invented by the parents, for development.

The child must see and experience the whole gamut of feelings and emotions without running away or suppressing them. And the task of parents is to learn how to adequately respond to the manifestation of emotions, not to prohibit, not to calm down unnecessarily, but to analyze all situations that have caused negative emotions.

It is not at all necessary that someone else is "bad" and therefore your child is crying, look at the situation as a whole, what your child did wrong, teach him not to dwell on himself, but to go towards people himself, showing sincere interest in them and find ways out of difficult situations, without blaming others and yourself. But for this, as I already wrote, the parents themselves need to grow up.

Mistake 4. Clear guidelines and rules

It is very convenient for most parents when an obedient child grows up nearby, clearly following the instructions “to do this,” “not to do that,” “not to be friends with this boy,” “in this case, to do so,” and so on.

They believe that all education is about command and control. But they do not at all think that they deprive the child of the ability to think independently and take responsibility for their actions.

As a result, they raise a soulless and thoughtless robot that needs clear instructions. And then they themselves suffer from the fact that if they didn’t say something, then the child didn’t do it. Here, not only the volitional, but also the emotional sphere is suppressed, because the child does not need to notice the emotional states of both his own and other people, and it becomes the norm for him to act only according to instructions. The child lives in constant obsession with actions and complete emotional disregard.

What does this lead to? A person does not learn to think and becomes unable to think independently, he constantly needs someone who will give him clear instructions on what, how and when to do, he will always be guilty of others, those who did not "correct" his behavior, did not say what to do and how to proceed.

Such people will never take the initiative, and will always wait for clear and specific instructions. They will not be able to solve any complex problems.

What to do in such cases? Learn to trust the child, let him do something wrong, you just sort out the situation later and together you will find the right solution, together, and not for him. Talk to the child more, ask him to express his opinion, do not make fun of him if you don’t like his opinion.

And most importantly, not to criticize, but to analyze the situation, what was done wrong and how it could have been done differently, constantly asking the child's opinion. In other words, the child must be taught to think and reflect.

Mistake 5. "I myself know what the child needs"

This error is a variation of the fourth error. And it consists in the fact that parents do not listen to the true desires of the child. The child's desires are perceived as momentary whims, but they are not quite the same thing.

Whims are fleeting desires, and true desires are what the child dreams of. The purpose of such behavior of parents is the realization by the child of what the parents themselves could not realize (as options - family traditions, fictional images of the unborn child). By and large, a child is made a “second self”.

Once, in childhood, such parents dreamed of becoming musicians, famous athletes, great mathematicians, and now they are trying to realize their childhood dreams through a child. As a result, the child cannot find his favorite pastime, and if he does, the parents take it with hostility: "I know better what you need, so you will do what I tell you."

What does this lead to. In addition to the fact that the child will never have a goal at all, he will never learn to understand his desires, and will always be dependent on the desires of others and is unlikely to achieve any success in realizing the desires of his parents. He will always feel “out of place”.

What to do. Learn to listen to the child's desires, be interested in what he dreams of, what attracts him, teach him to express his desires out loud. Observe what attracts your child, what he enjoys doing. Never compare your child to others.

Remember, the desire for your child to become a musician, artist, famous athlete, mathematician is your desire, not a child's. Trying to instill your desires in a child, you will make him deeply unhappy or achieve the opposite result.

Mistake 6. "Boys don't cry"

The inability of the parents themselves to express their emotions leads to the fact that the emotions of the child begin to suppress. There is a ban on strong experiences of positive and negative emotions corresponding to a real situation, since the parents themselves do not know how to react to them.

And if you don't know something, then often the choice is made towards leaving or banning. As a result, by forbidding a child to express their emotions, parents by and large forbid the child to feel, and ultimately - to live life to the fullest.

What does this lead to. Growing up, the child cannot understand himself, and he needs a “guide” who will explain to him what he is feeling. He will trust this person and completely depend on his opinion. Hence, conflicts arise between a man's mother and wife.

The mother will say one thing, and the wife another, and each will prove that exactly what she says the man feels. As a result, the man simply steps aside, giving women the opportunity to "sort things out" with each other.

What is really happening to him, he does not know and will follow the decision of the one who will win this war. As a result, he will always live someone's life, but not his own, and when he does not get to know himself.

What to do. Allow your child to cry, laugh, express himself emotionally, do not rush to calm down in this way: “Okay, okay, everything will be fine”, “boys don’t cry”, etc. When a child is in pain, do not hide from his feelings, make it clear that in a similar situation you would also be hurt, and you understand him.

Show compassion, let the child become familiar with the whole gamut of feelings without suppression. If he is happy about something, rejoice with him; if he is sad, listen to what worries him. Show interest in your child's inner life.

Mistake 7. Transferring your emotional state to the child

Often, parents transfer their unsettledness and dissatisfaction with life to the child. This is expressed in constant nagging, raising your voice, and sometimes just in a breakdown on the child.

The child becomes hostage to the parent's dissatisfaction and is unable to resist it. This leads to the fact that the child "turns off", suppresses his emotional sphere and chooses psychological protection from the parent "withdrawal".

What does this lead to. Growing up, the child stops “hearing”, closes, and often simply forgets what was said to him, perceiving any words addressed to him as an attack. He has to repeat the same thing ten times in order for him to hear or give some kind of feedback.

From the outside, it looks like indifference or disregard for the words of others. It is difficult to come to an understanding with such a person, because he never expresses his opinion, and more often this opinion simply does not exist.

What to do. Remember: it is not your child's fault that your life is not going the way you want it to. Not getting what you want is your problem, not his fault. If you need to let off steam, find more sustainable ways - scrub the floors, rearrange furniture, go to the pool, increase your physical activity.

Uncleaned toys, not washed dishes are not the reason for your breakdown, but only a reason, a reason within you. After all, it is your responsibility to teach your child how to clean up toys and wash dishes.

I have shown only basic errors, but there are many more.

The main condition for your child not to grow up infantile is to recognize him as an independent and free person, to show your trust and sincere love (not to be confused with adoration), support, not violence.

Instructions

Becoming an adult with a passport, an infantile person is not ready to build relationships with other members of society, it is difficult for him to find a job for the same reason. Everything would be fine, but such people get married early, and now all the care of them falls on the spouse. In marriage, all the negative character traits of the "child" are manifested very clearly: 1. Self-centeredness, because he believes that the world revolves around him. 2. The inability to make decisions and the inability to exercise willpower is manifested in the little things. Dependency, and this is not only and not so much the material side of the issue. An adult child is not able to serve himself in everyday life, and if children appear in such a marriage, then the care for them is completely shifted to the spouse, who plays the role of the “elder”.

In such a situation, the growing up of an infantile person depends on the spouse or on the parents, if he is still on their support. And all actions should be aimed primarily at changing their own position. Usually in such a situation, the spouse, whose husband lies on the couch all day and refuses to take responsibility, begins to nag him. In response, he begins a game of. For a “child” to disappear, he must first lose his “parent”. And for this you need to take the position of an adult who has stopped caring about the "baby" and raising him.

The reaction of an infantile person, who was robbed of his bright rainbow world of irresponsibility, may be different. At first, he will try with all his might to return the situation to its previous state. Most likely, he will pretend to be helpless, press on pity. If the wife / mother will steadfastly hold on to the position of an adult, then the infantile will begin to heal from his illness. The second variant of development - the "child" will lose interest and set off in search of a new "mother". If the mother made an attempt to cure, then he will run away from her into marriage; if a wife, then such a marriage will come to an end.

In fact, by overprotecting her child / husband, the mother / wife also gets something in return. She feels needed and useful. If the mother does not have enough arguments to change the situation, then she needs to come to an understanding that her child will not be in adulthood, that being unadapted to reality, he will suffer. Wives themselves often get tired of infantile husbands and they do not need to look for special arguments. Even if there is fear, you need to understand that a person and an infantile will not get along anyway.

Tip 2: What is the social activity of society

Social activity is a certain set of forms and types of human and society activity, the purpose of which is to solve the problems posed to society, a social group and various classes. The tasks depend on the historical period. The object of social activity can be both a person and a collective, a group and society as a whole.

Features of social activity

In sociology, several types of social activity are considered - a phenomenon, a state and an attitude. From a psychological point of view, the state is considered the main type of social activity. It is based on the interests of society and its needs in a given period of time and is viewed as an internal readiness for action.

The peculiarity of social activity is the transformation of beliefs and ideas into the actions of society. The social activity of a society depends on its leader. He has a strong influence on the beliefs and ideas of society at one time or another. The level of social activity of the society depends on this. The manifestation of social activity occurs when a person realizes his social significance and acts in the aggregate of social and personal motives. This is impossible without a certain freedom of society, which consists in the fact that citizens have the right to participate in the development of society or in local government, without coercion.

Types of manifestation of social activity

Dependent activity - complaints and inquiries, consisting in the requirement from the administrative authorities to solve the problems of citizens. Often these are inquiries and complaints that are not within the competence of the administrative authorities. Constructive activity - proposals and ideas for changing the activities of administrative bodies to improve the living conditions of the population and a favorable arrangement of territories. Partnerships between the administration and the population. Fictitious demonstrative activity - they are used to increase statistical data. Certain publications in the media are paid for. Protest activity is the opposition of society to the activities of administrative bodies, without offering alternative solutions. It is presented in the form of rallies, strikes, boycotts or hunger strikes.

Social activity of Russian society

In our time, the social activity of Russian society is very low.
Excluding elections, only a quarter of the population takes part in other forms of social activity. The rest of the citizens believe that their social activity is meaningless. According to research in Russia, social activity takes a fictitious and demonstrative form. This is due to the fact that the majority of citizens believe that everything has already been decided and it remains to make the appearance of making a decision. Because of this, there is a low level of social activity in society.

Related Videos

Infantilism is a common phenomenon in modern society. Paradoxically, the more demanding the modern world becomes to those who make decisions, the more clearly you can see how many infantile people are around, fleeing responsibility for making any decisions at all.

“Dodik, Dodik, go home! - Mom, can I play a little more? - No. Go home. - Mom, am I cold? - No. Do you want to eat!" - this classic anecdote perfectly reflects the essence of the origins and content.

The beautiful word "infant" is translated as "child". The word is beautiful, but life with an adult child is never cloudless and fraught with a lot of stress and disappointment. Not at - not at all. With his partner, who tasted all the delights of living together.

An infantile person is an eternal child. With all the beautiful bouquet typical for children from three to five: egocentrism, narcissism, irresponsibility and hysteria. But if only the character of the classical infantiles was limited to this. Unfortunately, they are also characterized by traits inherent in adolescents of puberty: negativism, life-denial with constant self-affirmation, slight excitability and conscious isolation.

Undergrown children

“Oh, children, children! So great is their faith in motherly love that it seemed to them that they could afford to be heartless for a little more! " (James Barry. Peter Pan)

Peter Pan, the hero of a good old children's fairy tale, a classic representative of an underage teenager, moreover, refusing to grow up, provoking by his actions to an inadequate reaction, selfish, often indifferent, irritable, arrogant, but requiring exceptional attention. Peter Pan is an infantile modern personality.

As a rule, infantilism is a consequence of modern upbringing. In other historical eras, due to the family and clan structure, children were taught almost from infancy to be responsible both for their actions and for the well-being of the family. The modern way of life is undoubtedly good in that it makes our everyday life easier, but also thereby blurs the boundaries of responsibility for survival, does not pose from childhood a dilemma of making momentous responsible decisions on which not only well-being, but also the life of the whole family depends.

Several years ago, American anthropologist Carolina Izquierdo from the University of California published a paper in which she raised the topic of growing up by comparing archaic and modern upbringing. In this work, she described two: the first - the attitude to the upbringing of a 6-year-old child in the Peruvian Matsigenka tribe living in the Amazon, in which Carolina spent several months, the second - episodes from the life of an ordinary American family.

So, the first situation: one day, members of the tribe went on a two-day "expedition" to collect food for the entire tribe. A little girl of 6 years old asked to be taken with them. Although she did not yet have a clearly defined role in the tribal community, she became a full and useful member of the expedition: she carried sleeping mats, caught, cleaned and boiled crayfish for all members of the expedition, independently deciding to do it. She was calm, self-possessed and did not demand anything for herself personally.

The second situation from the work of an anthropologist relates to the life of an ordinary American middle-class family: an 8-year-old girl, not finding a device next to a plate of cereal, sat for ten minutes and waited for it to be served, while a 6-year-old boy tried to persuade his father to he untied his laces on his sneakers.

The main features of infantilism

Infantilism is congenital, but most often it is acquired and depends on upbringing. An adult infantile person is a disaster, first of all, for his loved ones, for his family members, if he manages to have one. But even in the sphere of industrial relations, infantile people cannot be called a gift of fate.

An infantile person usually shows emotional and volitional immaturity, he is unreliable, irresponsible and avoids making any decisions, gladly shifting responsibility to others. Infantiles are fixated on themselves and only care about their own whims and goals, although they can quite successfully hide behind beautiful phrases or even actions, but, alas, in any case, they are based on concern only for personal convenience, well-being and satisfaction of needs. As a rule, they almost always find someone who solves their problems, takes care of them and takes them under their wing.

But how charming and attractive infantiles are - these eternal children! They are as different as they are attractively beautiful, like Peter Pan and Carlson - the archetypes-representatives of infantile individuals: their element is an eternal celebration of life, where they give attention and gifts.

Something, but they not only love to have fun, but also know how like no one else, and if life was always only a holiday, then there is no better companion for this: with an infantile person, fun is guaranteed until ... Before the first decision is made whether he is cold or wants there is. And if you are ready to take all subsequent decisions for him - forward to the eternal fairy tale, in which the further, the more terrible.

Infantilism is the special properties of a person's behavior that characterize him as an immature person, incapable of making deliberate, balanced decisions. As a rule, such childishness and immaturity is a product of upbringing, and not a failure in the process of brain maturation.

An infantile person simply avoids any responsibility - nothing prevents him from “taking life by the tail and changing something in it,” but the very desire for such active actions is absent.

Whereas, infantilism is a pathological condition, implying a delay in the psychological formation of a personality for any objective reason. For example, oxygen starvation of the brain during intrauterine formation of the fetus. The discrepancy between human behavior and age characteristics becomes especially noticeable by the time of entering school. In the future, it only progresses.

Causes

The origins of infantilism, according to experts from different countries dealing with a similar problem, should be sought in the childhood of a person. Of the many reasons they identified, several main ones can be indicated:

• overprotection of parents - the child does not have the opportunity to make independent decisions and learn from his mistakes, he has a habit of shifting responsibility to other people;
• a constant lack of attention and love on the part of close relatives - a situation when the baby is left to himself most of the time, a kind of pedagogical neglect, in adult life such children seek to compensate for the lost feeling of care;
• total control - if children are forced to account for literally every step they have taken, then, in contrast, they begin to express a kind of protest with their infantile behavior, they say, get what you want, I refuse to take responsibility;
• forced rapid growing up - if a child, due to life circumstances, had to face the need to make important decisions too early, then later he may seek to avoid situations when it is required to make a choice.

Sometimes diseases of internal organs become a platform for infantility, for example, when brain cells simply do not have enough energy for full-fledged activity. Or the emerging infantilism in women due to the underdevelopment of the ovaries - a deficiency in the production of sex hormones leads to a lag in the maturation of higher nervous activity.

Symptoms

Among the whole variety of symptoms that can describe the behavior of an infant, the following are the most characteristic signs of infantility:

• inability and unwillingness to make important decisions, for which later you will have to bear personal responsibility - in situations where something urgently needs to be solved, such a person will try to shift the task as much as possible onto the shoulders of a colleague, relative, or let everything go to chance;
• unconscious desire for dependence - infantile people can earn good money, but they are not accustomed to serving themselves in everyday life or are simply lazy, trying in every possible way to avoid everyday duties;
• extremely pronounced egocentrism and selfishness - an unfounded confidence that the whole world should revolve around them, their requests should be immediately fulfilled, while they themselves will try to find a thousand excuses for their own unfulfilled obligations;
• difficulties in relations with colleagues, partners, spouses - unwillingness to work on relationships leads to the fact that, in the end, such people remain lonely even in their own family;
• an infantile woman can have fun at some event or party, while her apartment will not be cleaned, and the refrigerator shines with empty shelves;
• frequent change of work - an infantile man in every possible way justifies himself by the fact that he is too nagged or forced to overwork, so they spend their whole lives looking for a place of work where they would be paid more and demanded less.

Infant people live literally like moths - one day. Often they do not have savings "in reserve". They do not strive for self-improvement, because they are sure that they are already good, they are satisfied with everything in themselves.

Types of infantilism

For a complete description of such a disorder as personality immaturity, it should be noted that it can be expressed in various forms. So, mental infantilism is a delayed growing up of a child. There is some delay in the formation of the baby's personality - in the emotional or volitional sphere. Such children can demonstrate a high level of logical thinking. They are intellectually very well developed and are able to serve themselves. However, at the same time, their gaming interests always prevail over educational and cognitive ones.

Physiological infantilism is an excessively slowed down or impaired bodily development, which entails a failure in the formation of higher nervous activity. More often taken for. Only a thorough differential diagnosis by a highly professional specialist puts everything in its place. The causes of its appearance can be infections transferred by a pregnant woman or oxygen starvation of the fetus. Signs of infantilism in such a child can be combined with the phrase “I want to express myself, but I cannot”.

Psychological infantilism - a person has a completely healthy psyche in a physiological respect, he is fully consistent with his age in development. But they deliberately choose "childish" behavior. For example, because of the transferred - as a kind of "protection" from aggressive external reality. Then the habit of fencing off and shifting responsibility for oneself onto others becomes the norm of behavior.

Features in men

The bulk of the differences in the manifestation of infantilism among the sexes lies in the social views adopted in a particular society. If we look at the problem from this point of view, then infantilism in men is a sign of their failure as a defender, a “getter”. This behavior is condemned in most social groups.

An Infanta man can be recognized by several characteristic features. He has a very close bond with his family, especially his mother. At the same time, the relationship between them can even be conflicting, but they cannot do without each other for a long time.

The parent dominates in such a relationship. Therefore, becoming an adult, an infant man does not take on any responsibility - for himself, his family. In many situations, he behaves like a child. Infantilism in men quite often manifests itself in the avoidance of conflicts, the need to solve problems, escape from reality into fictitious relationships, for example, c.

But such a man is the soul of any company. He sincerely enjoys any holiday and occasion to have fun. He is always ready to become a party organizer, but only if someone else will finance it. With money, he practically does not know how to handle and earn it.

They can be most clearly manifested in his competition with his own children. He is genuinely offended if his wife pays less attention to him or buys more things not for him, but for the child. Scandals and quarrels in such a family will occur more and more often if a woman does not learn to find balance in relations with her husband and offspring.

Features in women

Society looks more favorably on infantilism in women. Often such "childishness" is even encouraged - many men are pleased to pamper their chosen one or raise her sometimes. Individual husbands assert their egos in this way.

Women are impressed by the role of addicts - this greatly facilitates their existence in terms of making important decisions. Shifting your concerns on "strong men's shoulders" has long been encouraged and welcomed in European society. However, the realities of our days are such that such behavior sometimes leads to a disaster in the relationship - two infants, having collided, are not able to help each other.

Sometimes infantilism hides - vitamin deficiencies, chronic fatigue, severe stressful situations lead to the fact that the nervous system can not stand it. In an effort to preserve herself, a woman begins to move away from reality, becoming lethargic, apathetic. After restoring the reserves of vitamins and minerals, as well as energy, the representative of the beautiful half of humanity will again be active, bright, cheerful and life-affirming.

If the desire to have fun is the predominant trait of a woman's character, without the desire to think about the future, to provide herself with well-being and comfort on her own, we can talk about psychological infantilism. Encouraging such behavior can end in permissiveness and licentiousness, up to the violation of criminal liability. Punishment and "sobering up" are sometimes too harsh and harsh - serving a sentence in places of deprivation of liberty.

How to get rid of infantilism?

It is quite difficult for an infantile person to realize the problems he has with making decisions. Few find the strength to fight and take steps to improve their lives - gaining independence. Most often, such people need the help of professional psychologists.

Positive results can be achieved more quickly if seeking help was undertaken in the early stages of the formation of a personality disorder, in the childhood years of a person's life. Group and individual trainings have proven to be excellent.

In order to properly organize the process of raising and developing a child, parents can be recommended:

• often consult with children, ask their opinion on every important event in their life;
• do not try to artificially create excessively comfortable conditions for the child - to learn about all the difficulties, for example, at school, to solve them together, and not to shoulder the problem only on your own shoulders;
• enroll him in the sports section - this is how responsibility and dedication will be formed in him;
• encourage the child to communicate with peers and older people;
• avoid thinking in terms of "we" - to divide yourself and the baby into "me" and "he".

If the intellectual decline was provoked by focal ischemia, then the qualified help of a neurologist and drug treatment will be needed.

How to get rid of infantilism for a man - such issues should be resolved by a specialist on an individual basis. Without realizing the problem, if he himself is not ready to work on himself, all the steps taken by his parents, wife, colleagues will be ineffective.

Experts can only give recommendations on how to get rid of infantility in adulthood - to reconsider your life priorities, try to live separately from your parents, find a job that will require making decisions, but without excessive responsibility. You can try step-by-step planning - set quite achievable goals and strive for them.

Each person is the creator of his own destiny and without inner work on himself it is impossible to achieve the harmonious development of his personality.