Garbage from the hut. Complained - and it became easier? Reasons and consequences of discussing family problems with other people, or why you should not wash dirty linen in public

Wash dirty linen in public wash / wash dirty linen in public Spread. Usually with neg. Talk about quarrels, troubles occurring between loved ones. With noun with meaning faces: son, friend ... does not take litter out of the hut.

Fulfilling the duty of a noble heart, she speaks of us with respect and modesty ... she censures carefully, does not take litter out of public. (A. Pushkin.)

He [Khlopakov] is cautious, he cannot stand litter in public, he will not say a bad word about anyone. (I. Turgenev.)

... But speak quickly - we cannot bear the litter from the hut ... What is said, it has died in me. (P. Melnikov-Pechersky.)

Educational phraseological dictionary. - M .: AST. E. A. Bystrova, A. P. Okuneva, N. M. Shansky. 1997 .

See what it means to "wash dirty linen in public" in other dictionaries:

Wash dirty linen in public

wash dirty linen in public- See gossip ... Dictionary of Russian synonyms and similar expressions. under. ed. N. Abramova, M .: Russian dictionaries, 1999. wash dirty linen in public do not make a secret, take it out on the street, divulge, tell, gossip ... Synonym dictionary

REMOVE THE LITTER

Wash dirty linen in public- Spread. To divulge which l. secrets, talk about quarrels, troubles occurring between close people, relatives. FSRYa, 446; BMS 1998, 543; BTS, 176; FM 2002, 402; Yanin 2003, 78; Mokienko 1990, 95; SHZF 2001, 51; ЗС 1996, 67 ...

Take the noise out of the hut- Psk. Disapproved. Disclose information regarding internal strife, quarrels, troubles. / i> Noise rubbish, rubbish. SPP 2001, 82 ... A large dictionary of Russian sayings

Wash dirty linen outside the door- Sib. The same as washing dirty linen in public. FSS, 37 ... A large dictionary of Russian sayings

To take out litter from public- COP, a (y), m. Small dry waste, small waste. Clean out with. Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 ... Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

wash dirty linen in public- to divulge troubles, quarrels concerning only a narrow circle of people. The expression is usually used with negation as a call not to disclose the details of such dirty linen (you don’t have to wash dirty linen in public). The expression is associated with the ancient custom of not taking out the trash ... ... Phraseology reference

Remove dirty linen from the hut- REMOVE LITTLE FROM OBSERVATION. REMOVE THE LITTLE FROM THE EXTRA. Spread. 1. Disclose quarrels, squabbles, squabbles that have occurred in the family or between loved ones. It did not escape Naumovna's eyes that something was amiss between the daughter-in-law and Trofim, although they hid it. Guess ... Phraseological dictionary of the Russian literary language

REMOVE THE LITTER- who To disclose information about which l. troubles concerning a narrow circle of their persons and therefore hidden from strangers. This includes family quarrels, squabbles, troubles, etc., as well as conflicts in a group of persons united by some kind. common to ... ... Phraseological dictionary of the Russian language

Books

• Shadows of the Past Resentment, Kuzin V. In the lives of many Christians, resentment is an integral part. Sometimes we don't want to accept that hurt has made a nest of pain in our hearts. We do not want to wash dirty linen in public, we do not ...

- 2644

Our ancestors said: "Do not wash your dirty linen in public when the sun went down." There is such a meaning - all things need to be done during the day, and at night only bad deeds are done. The Slavs believed that during the day, while the sun is shining, the gods see, but at night they are not manifested and do not see in our world. This means that nothing needs to be done at night. From that and thieves go at night. But, right there, such an idea is given that the Slavs considered the litter to be something like a creature of Navi and therefore threw it away from home without looking, and you can not even look at the east and the sun during such a case.

Sor was used by witches for sabotage:
In the spring, when cleaning, you need to collect litter from the house, throw it in the middle of the one you want to harm and say: "All the bugs, yes fleas to you!" and run from this place without looking back.

It is impossible to burn rubbish from the house - dark fire will spoil. That's it
If a girl sweeps the floor badly, the groom will be crooked ”(beaten, ugly). If they wanted to isolate themselves from a bad person, they threw a coal from the stove or household rubbish in the trail. If the family moved to a new place, then they swept everything out of the house and took a handful of garbage with them. It was believed that rubbish connects our world with the world of ancestors and so the connection with them will not be interrupted. The rubbish in the new house was thrown into the corner, which was visible as you enter the door. If family members, relatives or dear guests have left on a long journey, then three days cannot be removed - they may not return. It's the same when a man went to the army or to the war.

You cannot take revenge on the trail of a person who left the house, and even sweep the dirty linen onto the street. And of course, you cannot clean up the house when the patient is lying: "do not sweep when the sick person is lying, otherwise you can sweep it out with the garbage."

"Don't wash your dirty linen out of the hut when the sun has gone down."

The true deep meaning of the saying: "do not wash dirty linen in public" means: keep domestic relations a secret, otherwise you will break the protective barrier of the house and cause trouble!

In this case, the word rubbish is used in the meaning of squabbles, swearing, quarrel, that is, everything is junk, do not put the gossip on display. In fact, swearing in the house gives rise to waste energy and can not be called other than rubbish.
Considering that the Russian language is a language of images and reflects the true content of things, their role, then one can understand the true meaning of the saying.

Therefore, telling strangers about your quarrels is not worth it, you will cause laughter and attract someone else's energy into the house, which can lead to illness and failure.

We women have one very feminine quality :)

Of course, on the one hand, this is a completely normal desire - to discuss with someone your concerns about the more frequent delays of your husband at work, to conduct a detailed analysis of his recent act or statement, and, of course, to grieve over your fate with someone close in spirit human. Yes, it all looks from the outside, it is possible, and harmless, but is it really so ?!

Actually, there is one person with whom you can discuss some kind of quarrel with your husband - and that is the mother-in-law. She is the only one who can adequately respond to your claims to her son and, perhaps, even help you resolve the conflict and establish peace in the family of her beloved child.

Why? Because she is an interested person, i.e. she wishes her son and his family happiness and she can influence him with good intentions. Yes, it happens that the mother-in-law is jealous of her son and may even take the opportunity to find out about your disagreements in the family and hurt him, but that's another story. So, if your husband's mother is a completely adequate person, then sometimes, in some cases, you can complain to her and this can bring good results.

Now I would like to figure out why it is not worth discussing any difficulties in the family with someone other than the mother-in-law. Everything is very simple. Once even my mother told me: "Daughter, you don't need to tell your friends about quarrels with your husband. You will reconcile later and you will be ashamed that you somehow spoke badly about him." I remember her words well, even as a girl.

But this is a rough example. There are still no less important subtle reasons. The bottom line is that a woman has tremendous psychic power, with the help of which she influences a man, i.e. what she thinks her husband, so he will be. This is so and nowhere to get away from it, whether we believe in it or not. This is amazing, but if a woman ascribes some negative qualities to her husband, then they will certainly appear in him and, accordingly, if she believes in him and looks for positive character traits in him, or even behaves as if he already has those qualities that he lacks, then very soon he will become exactly what she sees him. A woman can either trample her husband and ruin his life, or elevate him in a way he never dreamed of.

Recently I read a wonderful story about this: “One evening President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to go to an unplanned dinner at a restaurant that was not very luxurious. First Lady in private. Michelle and the man then had a conversation. Following this conversation, President Obama asked Michelle, "Why was he so interested in talking to you?" She replied that in her teenage years, he was madly in love with her. President Obama said, “So if you married him, you could now own this wonderful restaurant?” And Michelle replied, “No. If I married him, he would become president. "

The moral of the story (and what I want to lead to) is that a lot depends on the woman. It depends on us who is next to us now - an intelligent, generous and successful man or a donkey whom we tied to the sofa in the living room, it is we who, through our behavior, reveal the boundless potential of a loved one, it is our words and actions that can create or destroy the family hearth, which we so wanted and dreamed about.

Who

Disclose information about smb. troubles concerning a narrow circle of "their" persons and therefore hidden from outsiders.

Implied family quarrels, squabbles, troubles etc., as well as conflicts in a group of persons united by some. common interests for them. It means that face ( NS), which discloses information, belongs to this group or is included in it as "his". Spoken with disapproval or condemnation. informal. ✦ NS [not] removes dirty linen in public . Nominal part unchanged, except denied. construct: do not endure litter less often - litter. Often uptr. v inf. constructions with words not worth it, why etc. Usually with neg.: do not wash dirty linen less often - litter> from the hut. Usually the verb nonsov. v. Usually in the role tale. Component word order non-fixed

⊙ Everyone asked this question. And Fedor could not and did not want to answer him. I would have to answer why I left my wife, I would have to wash dirty linen in public. V. Tendryakov, Not to the Court. I just don't understand why she was wash dirty linen in public... But a good owner does just that: he takes out dirty linen from the hut, and does not hide it in a corner, otherwise there will be no order. True, 1978.

A neighbor entered the room ... Everything took on a peaceful look: there was an unwritten and indestructible law in the family - litter from the hut not endure. G. Nikolaeva, Harvest.

Of course, Palkin should be punished, but not remove litter from the hut... After all, now the missing cannot be returned. Yu. German, My dear man.

She [Ekaterina] introduced Potemkin to the unwritten law of the Hermitage: - Please litter from our huts not endure. V. Pikul, Favorite.

⊛ I just don't understand why she had to wash dirty linen in public. But a good host does just that: dirty linen in public, and does not hide it in a corner, otherwise there will be no order. True, 1978.

There are people who probably will not like the fact that two scientists, instead of uniting for a common cause, start a squabble and wash dirty linen in public. A. Krohn, Insomnia.

But there are normal families! - Yes where? Pretend. Litter from the hut not endure... And on the sly ... they are raging. V. Shukshin, The Suffering of Young Vaganov.

⊜ - In vain are you telling everyone that we often quarrel - for gossip to others take out dirty linen in public. (Speech.)

I will tell you everything about the business of the company, because you are a reliable person, you know how to keep your mouth shut and dirty linen never endured. (Speech.)

⊝ Parents often quarreled over money, reproached me with a piece of bread, but I do not like neighbor gossip, gossip and litter from the hut not endured. (Speech.)

In my presence, they try not to talk about their business. Apparently they are afraid that I will take the dirty linen out of the hut. (Speech.)

cultural commentary: phraseology. goes back to the belief that the garbage taken out can damage the owner of the house or his family members, relatives. To avoid this, a protective ritual was formed - not wash dirty linen in public and burn it in a furnace. cm also the fixation of this amulet in the proverb Do not take the litter out of the hut, but swamp in the oven... In the image phraseology. the ritual prohibition-amulet is reflected, dating back to the most ancient animistic, i.e. spiritualizing the world, a form of understanding the world, according to which, according to the "material" traces of a person's activity, one can inflict damage on him; word litter is perceived in modern consciousness as a symbol of what can be defamed [cf. also throw mud (slops)]. This animistic form of awareness of the world fits into the broader archetypal opposition "friend and foe"; here "our" - belonging to a narrow circle of relatives, friends or confidants, "stranger" - the one who can turn out to be hostile and cause damage, moral or material; word hut (Wed also House) symbolizes "one's" personal space.

• - remote, takeaway, etc. see to carry ...

  Dahl's Explanatory Dictionary

• - wash / wash dirty linen in public Razg. Usually with neg. Talk about quarrels, troubles occurring between loved ones ...

  Educational phraseological dictionary

• Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

• - BEARING, -shuh, -shut; -worn; sover. 1. Whom. About the mother, the female: carry it in before the due date. B. baby. 2.translated that. Think it over, come to something. after reflection. B. new idea, plan, idea. 3.who ...

  Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

• - BEARING, -shuh, -shut; -worn; sover. 1. Whom. About the mother, the female: carry it in before the due date. B. baby. 2.translated that. Think it over, come to something. after reflection. B. new idea, plan, idea. 3.who ...

  Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

• - COP, -a, m. Small dry waste, small debris ...

  Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

• Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

• - 1. TAKE OUT, TAKE OUT, TAKE OUT, SOVER. ... 1. someone what. Give birth, carrying a normal term. I endured five guys. 2.translate that. Ponder until complete clarity, maturity. Bring out the idea. 2 ...

  Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

• Efremova's Explanatory Dictionary

• - to carry out I to carry out owls. crossover see to carry I II to carry owls. crossover see to carry II III to carry owls. crossover see to carry III IV to carry owls. crossover see to carry IV V to carry out nesov. crossover 1...

  Efremova's Explanatory Dictionary

• - endure verb., nsv., uptr ...

  Dmitriev's Explanatory Dictionary

• - 1) to take out - I wear, - you carry; and suffering. last worn out, -shen, -a, -o; Sov., trans. ... 1. Carrying a baby in you before delivery ...

  Small academic dictionary

• - REMOVE LITTLE FROM OBSERVATION. REMOVE THE LITTLE FROM THE EXTRA. Spread. 1. To divulge quarrels, squabbles, squabbles that occurred in the family or between close people ...

  Phraseological dictionary of the Russian literary language

• - Spread. Divulge some. secrets, talk about quarrels, troubles occurring between close people, relatives. FSRYa, 446; BMS 1998, 543; BTS, 176; FM 2002, 402; Yanin 2003, 78; Mokienko 1990, 95; SHZF 2001, 51; ЗС 1996, 67 ...
• - Psk. Disapproved. Disclose information regarding internal strife, quarrels, troubles. / i> Noise - rubbish, rubbish ...

  A large dictionary of Russian sayings

• - See gossip .....

  Synonym dictionary

"REMOVE LITTLE FROM CHARGE" in books

DO NOT REMOVE THE LITTER

From the book of Repin the author Prorokova Sophia Alexandrovna

NOT TO REMOVE LITTLE FROM OBSERVATION At the traveling exhibition of 1878, among other works, Repin showed his "Protodeacon". Such an imperious power of skill emanated from the picture that there was no viewer who would not stop in front of this noticeable canvas.

"It was ordered to freeze the hut"

From the book Russia: A Critique of Historical Experience. Volume1 the author Akhiezer Alexander Samoilovich

"It was ordered to freeze the hut" The reformers did not appreciate the full depth and significance for society, for the fate of the reform, of the discrepancy between the values ​​of the split parts of society. The ruling elite could not establish mutual understanding with the peasantry either in the preparation process or in the process

To carry the child safely

From the book Conspiracies of the Siberian Healer. Issue 02 the author Stepanova Natalia Ivanovna

To safely carry a child If a woman constantly has miscarriages, then as soon as she becomes pregnant again, you need to read a special conspiracy above the water. Then she must drink this water and wash herself with it. The conspiracy words are as follows: From the Holy Spirit, the Communion

DO NOT REMOVE THE LITTER

From the book Learning to Love the author Nekrasov Anatoly Alexandrovich

DON'T CARRY OUT DIRT OUT OF PRIVACY Discussing someone from family members with strangers is an ignoble occupation. The consequences will not be long in coming. The wife goes to a healer, to a psychologist and begins to tell what a bad husband she has. It's good if the psychologist turns the conversation to someone who

Huts in Potsdam

From the book Russians in a Foreign Land, X-XX centuries. [Unknown pages of the history of the life of Russian people outside the Fatherland] the author Soloviev Vladimir Mikhailovich

Huts in Potsdam Another line of the Russian presence in Germany can be traced in the tradition of organizing Orthodox parishes for Russian Grand Duchesses who married German monarchs. It is enough to imagine that each of the 38 German states of that time

16. EARTH AND LIP FUNCTIONS

From the book History of the Domestic State and Law: Cheat Sheet the author author unknown

16. ZEMSKY AND LIP FUNCTIONS Local estate-representative bodies from the middle. XVI century zemstvo and labial huts began to be issued. Urban and rural societies began to issue labial letters giving the right to persecute and punish "dashing people", for this purpose specials were created. labial

6.3. Washing dugouts and huts

From the author's book

6.3. Soap dugouts and huts The first types of settled man-made dwellings (instead of burrows and caves) were created in Northern Europe based on the concept of dugouts. Overlapping dugouts were made of wood materials. Therefore, the ceilings in the smoke dugouts, washed by flue gases, were

80. I will not take out the trash because I am late

From the book of 100 objections. Man and woman the author Frantsev Evgeniy

80. I will not take out the trash, because I am late Intention: if you really want to be in time, then you will be in time and take out the garbage. Redefinition: yes, you have a little time to be in time, and you can do everything. you definitely have minutes for this.

WHAT ANGLES IS ABOVE

From the book One Hundred Percent of the Law the author Feofanov Yuri Vasilievich

WHAT ANGLES HAVE BEHAVIOR The well-known proverb: "The hut is not red with corners, but red with pies" - in essence, it was born of poverty. And our house should be good in the corners. Any. The temple of Themis is supposed to be magnificent in all details, for, like nowhere else, in justice, perhaps, it is not important

180. I will not take out the trash because I am late

From the book of 500 objections with Evgeny Frantsev the author Frantsev Evgeniy

180. I will not take out the trash, because I am late Intention: if you really want to be in time, then you will be in time and take out the garbage. Redefinition: yes, you have a little time to be in time, and you can do everything. Separation: but 2 you definitely have minutes for this.

DIRT FROM EXCLUSION -

From the book Winged Words the author Maksimov Sergey Vasilievich

DIRT FROM OBSERVATION - a village proverb-law does not order to endure and, of course, she does not teach this order to untidiness and slovenliness, does not advise to live dirty (which is incompatible with the prevalence of ubiquitous expression, and with its long-term stability). I'm at

5. Where is the owner of the burning hut?

From the author's book

5. Where is the owner of the burning hut? Chernyshev: Okay, we have outlined this line, and now let us ask ourselves another question: in that case, what value can and to whom can arguments based on the essence of the matter, from the content of what Lenin wrote and proposed, be addressed? Who are they

FULL-READ

From the book Librarianship. Reading rooms. Club establishment. Museums the author Krupskaya Nadezhda Konstantinovna

ABOUT-TO-READ On the example of a reading room, the fact that mass political and educational institutions did not take root among the masses, that they did not grow together with the masses, was most vividly reflected. there were up to 100,000 reading rooms. One had only to remove them from the state supply, as

"Matronushka helped to bear the baby"

From the book Real help in difficult times [Nicholas the Wonderworker, Matrona of Moscow, Seraphim of Sarov] the author Mikhalitsyn Pavel Evgenievich

“Matronushka helped to bear the baby” In 2010, I got pregnant for the third time. At first everything was fine, then the threat of interruption began, detachment of the ovum. I was admitted to the hospital, and I took a book about Matronushka with me. I had wild stomach pains, doctors

From the book Flying a Ladybug the author Olga Bakushinskaya

Is it worth washing dirty linen in public?

PHOTO-1L Is there any statistics that would determine how many families fell apart due to the wife's evil language, gossip and scandals that were put on public display, made public and forever crossed out not only the soulfulness in the relationship of the spouses, but also the opportunity to fix something after publicly lynching the opposite side. I think the numbers would be depressing.
The most interesting thing is that a simple negative discussion of a husband in a conversation with a friend, as the disclosure of intimate, is also equated to a scandal.
***
THE HORRORS OF OUR TOWN: I go to work in public transport and listen to a strange conversation, which seems to consist only of short remarks, but involving into complicity and involuntary empathy of all passengers stuck in a minibus. Despite the fact that the woman sitting in the front seat says practically nothing, the picture of the conversation looms to be offensively obvious and recognizable. As always!
- Galya, hello, how are you?
- …..
- What are you?
-….
- What is he?
-…
- And you?
-…
- And what did he say?
-…
- No, well, you can imagine! Here, you freak! And what did you say?
-…
- You're a fool! Three times a fool!
-….
- I can not talk. It gave me so on my nerves. Now what?
-…
- What a bastard!
-…
- I'm having a nervous breakdown. I can’t speak, I’m in a minibus….

For an hour, while we were in a traffic jam, the meaningful telephone conversation of two bosom friends continued in the same spirit. What were they talking about? Not hard to guess. All about the same. About your own, about a woman's ...

To take out litter from public- to divulge troubles, quarrels concerning only a narrow circle of people. The expression is usually used with negation as a call not to divulge the details of such quarrels (no need to wash dirty linen in public). (Handbook of phraseological units)

Washing dirty linen in public is, of course, tempting. Why? Yes, because at this moment you are not alone and have the right to count on sympathy, empathy, fleeting love, which you, apparently, lack in your family. Otherwise, why resort to the help of the audience?
But there is at least

THREE REASONS, according to which "wash dirty linen in public" is strongly discouraged.
First, it's dangerous.
Folk expressions carry a huge charge of the traditional ideas of our ancestors about good and evil and the moral grain of humanity and common sense. In mystical terms, this was expressed in their belief that an evil person could allegedly send trouble to the owner of the house, pronouncing special magic words over the garbage from his home. According to an old tradition, damage can be inflicted on a person by clippings of nails, combed hair, or any garbage from his house, so the litter was usually swept out under the threshold, and then burned in the oven. Taking out dirty linen in public meant bringing trouble to your home.
This is how our ancestors motivated the need to hide from others the intimate side of their life, that which was very close to the person himself, in order to exclude the invasion of his world, the introduction of pain, suffering and sadness into it.
Naive pagan defense against evil eye, corruption and slander can be explained by simple psychological motivations.
THE HORRORS OF OUR TOWN: “One friend of a beautiful man met, they got married and lived in perfect harmony, but he was a Jew. And another friend at the meeting says: I've heard that Jews sometimes smell, tell me is it true? A friend replied that no, she never noticed anything ... The second again insistently began to ask "tell me, at least a little, they are different and the skin smells different" and the first friend just to get rid of it said "maybe a little". the second friend passed this on to her husband and he chopped down all the furniture in the apartment, leaving a note "So that you don't smell anything Jewish." The family fell apart. "
To wash dirty linen in public means to feel like a victim, the sad image of which requires worship and veneration. BUT there is a huge amount of risk to become this victim in the end. To call upon yourself the trouble in full. Only through the efforts of their own language. Since thought is material, but the word uttered after the thought is doubly material.
The image of the victim is so attractive at times that the woman gladly dresses herself up in it and tells everyone right and left about how unlucky she was with her husband, how bad he is, and how she gets a daily nervous breakdown from this. Can you imagine? And you? And he? Here, you bastard!
“Call a person a pig, he grunts” - this is the most real programming for the negative.
Doing this, she, in principle, does not even suspect that she completely cuts off her path to happiness, not being able to appreciate what she has.
“What we have, we do not keep, if we lose, we cry,” a well-known proverb is here at an opportune moment. After all, when we discuss our loser with others, we reinforce the negative, encode it for repeated failure, and label it. And to his family life too. Because how can she be happy, in principle, with such a scumbag.
ADVICE: If you already dreamed of a prince, but somehow it did not work out, and fantasies dry up in the bud. I suggest not to translate good. And send them to a creative channel. Give your unlucky husband a new look. And suddenly he "grunts" as you would like it. By your, by the way, efforts and prayers, he can in general successfully move from complete losers to genius. There would be a desire. And love, of course. Because without love, all this will be just a bitter pill from complete disappointment in life.
***
An old friend of mine, with whom I often discussed my family affairs, once very wisely and firmly set my brains in one single phrase. When I tried to complain about my own and had already put on the usual worn-out disc of a revealing monologue, she said:
- If he is so bad, why do you live with him?
- Why should I leave him because of the scattered socks or what? - I was surprised.
- And if you don’t want to leave, you sleep with him, you spend his money, you turn your cheek for a kiss, then why do you shame in front of people. As you see him, so he will be!
I then even, I remember, was offended by her harshness.
By the way, she never said a single bad word about her husband. Although he did not work for a long time and seemed strange to me. "Do not wash dirty linen in public!" - a useful and for some reason forgotten by many folk anti-crisis method of dealing with garbage in family life was the motto of her life. What was behind the door of their house, what they talked about, how they coped with difficulties, what they promised each other, who took out the trash can and washed socks - this remained a mystery behind seven seals. But when a friend fell seriously ill and spent three months in the hospital, her house did not collapse, the children did not starve, she was not even fired from her job, because he took her home transfers and carefully visited the hospital. Twice every day, morning and evening.

And then I envied her kindly and understood what her secret was. The secret of family happiness lies in accepting your own version of life with love and gratitude, regardless of what friends and acquaintances may say about it. What difference does it make to you, in essence, what they think of you, how they react to the twists and turns of your family history, if you live the main moments of your life not with them, but with HIM. Your closest person. Be good for him, love him, take care and meditate so that your rainbow dreams of his genius will come true someday. And who knows, what if ... they will come true someday.

Secondly, dirty linen is an indicator of your defeat.
Some of the wise said that every woman is worthy of the man who is next to her.
It is she who allows him to be a parasite, rude, alcoholic, loser or hero, researcher, breadwinner, support.
She, like a tuning fork, tunes the family flute and sets the weather in the house.
Why is it considered good form for some women to discuss with the friends of the closest person? Why do they often say unpleasant things about him? Looking for excuses? Want to look taller?
This probably makes them seem better than him.
But, by and large, it only confirms their own unfortunate choice. Or an inability to mend relationships.
“Oh, leave! Tired of it! - the reader will say, who is already full of responsibility for everyone and everything. - Again the woman is to blame for everything. He is lazy - she did not drive him off the couch. He loves to drink - she did it! He walks - his wife could not satisfy. How many dogs can you hang on her! "
And our reader will begin to dream of a fabulous man who knows how to make decisions and be responsible for his actions, a breadwinner and protector, a calm and balanced embodiment of her best hopes, "so as not to drink, smoke, and always give flowers ..." and further according to the text of the famous song ... He will fill his head to the top with these fantastic dreams and wait for a miracle. At the same time, discussing and condemning the surrounding men for their laziness, rudeness, stupidity, stinginess and other shortcomings. Everyone is discussing: neighbors, acquaintances, girlfriends. Why is it worse? Why not discuss strangers! And she, after all, will never have this and cannot be, because she is waiting for the present. And he dreams to the fullest!
Dreams, dreams, but in the end he gets the wrong one. And so, mediocre, who, by the way, has the same vices that were so pleasant to discuss with others.

Third, wash out the dirty linen is not a panacea
Well, you scratched with your tongues, took your soul away, received a wagon of sympathy and a tank of solidarity tears. They fixed in your brain the image of a scoundrel, which is not suitable for you, splashed it out ... And then they came home, and there he was sitting!
Sits cute on the porch
With an expression on your face
Expresses that face -
Than sit on the porch
Ditties
What will you do? After all, we must continue to live with him ... Is it necessary?
Some are in a hurry to dot the i and cut the Gordian knot in a standard trivial way. "Out of sight, out of mind". Divorce seems like a panacea, a way out, the only way to rectify the situation. A “new” applicant for a hand and heart is seen almost as an icon to pray to. But in close contact with him living together, it may turn out that he actually does not differ much from the old one. And in something even worse.
“I changed the awl for soap,” the woman thinks and falls into another depression. He puts on himself a cross and a black stamp on all kinds of masculine. Now you can grind with your tongue tirelessly. And not only to discuss them all with friends.
What's the point? How long will it last?
Anyway, one day you will want something normal, human, humane. Love in the end. And the woman will again tune in to a miracle and begin to wait.
But you can wait for a long time, and for a very long time, so that life will pass. When the watch persistently rings about the need to solve the problem, when it is already over 30, 40, 50 ..., then another organ in the brain turns on, and the bar goes down. And the dreamer thinks in a more real way about the most elementary marriage to the most ordinary neighbor boy, with whom she once sat at the same desk or studied at the same institute. And he turns out to be completely without foreign gloss, wealth and other coveted masculine qualities. Normal. As everybody.
At first, she will diligently ascribe non-existent dignities to him. Compose epithets for your unearthly love and imagine your meeting with him as a completely extraordinary situation, which looks like a scene from a love story. He draws details, shades inconsistencies, closes his eyes to obvious flaws. And then he will reconcile himself. Well, at least there is one!
Unlucky, but your own!
Well, and it is not a sin to discuss the unlucky one with your friends. As before. Bitter, but like everyone else.
And the usual cart will roll through the putrid swamps of the previous blah-blah-blah. Round. And so all my life ... Do you like this prospect?
I do not like!? So I don't like it either!
So as soon as I want to tell someone that my husband is completely unable to put his damned socks back in place, I hang a big barn lock on my lips.
And imagine! He finally learned how to throw them in the laundry basket. Blimey! Less than twenty years have passed ...