Why can't I control my emotions. Do not take personally. Physical activity and introspection

Basically, there is nothing wrong with any emotion, but some of them can cause problems if you do not control yourself. Fortunately, there are a number of techniques you can use and lifestyle changes to help you deal with negative feelings.

Steps

How to reconfigure your mind and body

Notice situations where emotions get out of hand. The first step is to notice that there is a problem. Pay attention to the physical and mental sensations in this situation so that you can recognize the symptoms later. Use mindfulness, conscientiousness and rational thinking to “catch” the moment. The ability to recognize emotion alone will only create an attachment to the present moment.

Start doing the opposite of what you normally do. Stop if you are responding to an acute emotion in a familiar way. Think about what happens if you try to do the opposite. How will the total change? If he becomes positive or productive, then opt for a new reaction.

Remove yourself from a situation that generates negative emotions. Sometimes the best solution is to just walk away and hide from the irritants. If the situation allows you to leave and not offend others, then it is better to do so.

• For example, if you are assigned to a work committee whose members behave uncombined, such meetings can upset you. One way to solve the problem is to ask to be transferred to another committee.

How to communicate confidently and decisively

1. Express your feelings clearly and confidently. Learn to express your feelings vigorously in order to give vent and control your emotions, but at the same time change the unwanted situation. It's okay to express your opinion or deny others something that makes you uncomfortable or for which you simply don't have time, as long as you are polite and straightforward.

   • For example, if a friend invites you to a party, you might say, “Thank you for remembering me! Alas, I do not like big companies, so this time I will refuse. Maybe we’ll go to a coffee shop together? ” Let your feelings out so they don't sit inside and control you.

2. Speak in the first person to express yourself without blaming others. This way of communication allows you to express emotions and not blame or humiliate anyone. Before you say anything accusing or judgmental, stop and reformulate the sentence into your usual observation or your own opinion.

   • For example, instead of saying: “You don’t care about me”, it’s better to say: “I was offended when you did not call me back, although you promised. What happened? "

3. Invite others to share their point of view. Each situation is multifaceted. Encourage others to share their thoughts to better understand their point of view and have an equal dialogue. You should actively listen to control yourself, control your emotions, and be in a mental state that will help you use other people's ideas wisely.

   • For example, when expressing your opinion, supplement it with the question: "What do you think?"

4. Don't use subjective words like “should” and “should”. Such statements blame others and can lead to feelings of irritation and anger because the situation is not going the way you would like it to be. If you say “should,” “must,” or similar words and phrases, stop and remember that we are not all perfect. Accept the imperfection of the world and the current situation.

   • For example, instead of thinking, “My partner should never hurt my feelings,” remind yourself that there is nothing personal about the situation. Both of you make mistakes from time to time.
   • If you are too hard on yourself, show kindness and compassion. For example, if thoughts like, “I should have been better prepared. I will fail the exam, ”then change them to the following:“ I did my best and prepared as best I could. Whatever the outcome, everything will be all right. ”

How to calm yourself down with a routine

1. Exercise regularly to relax and let off steam. Do physical activities that include calming and repetitive activities (swim, walk, or run) to calm the mind and senses. You can also try yoga or Pilates to calm your thoughts with calm warm-ups and breathing exercises.

   Engage different senses in new ways to calm your body. Learn to notice beauty and discreetly admire the world around you for the sake of daily self-care. Your focus on gratitude and physical feelings will help you quickly pull yourself together in times of stress or irritation. Experiment with different methods:

   Use a soothing touching method. People need loving touch to feel happy. Positive touch releases oxytocin, a powerful hormone that improves mood, relieves stress, and enhances feelings of attachment. Common options for soothing touching include:

   • Put your hand on your heart. Feel your heart beating, your chest rising and falling, and warmth radiating from your skin. Repeat to yourself pleasant words like, "I am worthy of love," or, "I am a good person."
   • Hug yourself. Cross your arms across your chest, place your palms on your shoulders, and hug yourself gently. Repeat a positive phrase like, "I love myself."
   • Grasp your face with your palms like a child or loved one, and then start stroking your face with your fingers. Repeat kind words to yourself like, "I am a wonderful and kind person."

2. Practice meditation. Meditation is a great way to relieve anxiety and depression, and learn how to deal with stress. Regular mindfulness meditation can help you control your emotions. Sign up for a class, follow the online guidance, or learn mindfulness meditation on your own at home.

For many people, regardless of gender, quite often they can get the better of their minds. This usually happens when it is not at all appropriate. It can be quite difficult to cope with oneself, especially if a person is by nature emotional and sensitive. Emotions are a complex and. directly affect well-being, and well-being, in turn, affects thoughts. Learning to keep your mind under control is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. In this article, we will figure out how to learn how to control your emotions and, relying on the psychology and knowledge of experienced specialists.

Pause

In stressful situations, you need to accustom yourself to pause. Do not overwhelm yourself with constant reflections on the topic of what upset you. Such a process will not only not get rid of the problem, but also will not allow you to look at it from a different angle.

It is imperative to take a break so that the streams of thoughts go in a different direction, more pleasant for. Can get distracted by any of your hobbies: read an interesting or just an article on the Internet, watch a movie (positive, not dramatic) or funny, entertaining videos on YouTube.

Additionally, you can have a tasty drink with or sweets, or chat with loved ones on abstract topics. Now it is important to distract yourself with positive and pleasant actions for yourself, which will allow you to leave you for a certain time.

Did you know? Nature has endowed man with 43 muscles that are responsible for facial expressions. They help to express the full range of emotions.

Watch your breath

Remember that emotions are a combination of physical reactions and thinking. reacts to physical stimuli first and then transforms them into emotions. For example, if you remember the sensations that a person experiences during, then it will necessarily be an increased heart rate, dry mouth, etc. If you start to control your breathing, it becomes possible to resist such physiological reactions.

First of all, you need to find a place where there are no external ones. It should be comfortable to be there. Breathe in deeply through your nose slowly. In the process of filling the lungs with air, the chest must also be expanded. Then you need to hold your breath for a moment, after which you also slowly exhale. Having made 6-10 such inhalations and exhalations within one minute, you can noticeably improve your condition.

Laugh

At first glance, this advice may seem rather strange. It would seem how you can force yourself if the problem is overflowing and it will be much easier. Regardless, the reception works very well. In almost every situation, you can find something silly, funny and funny. It is humor that will help a person to at least a little abstract from negative emotions, to feel more comfortable, and also to change the attitude towards emotions.

For example, if the cause of the frustration lies in an accidentally made slip of the tongue during an important presentation, then think of it not as a problem, but as a "funny glitch."

If the stress was caused by resentment and anger at the boss, whom you mentally call "donkey", you can try to imagine your words literally, bringing the situation to the point of absurdity. Imagine a donkey with a briefcase, a suit, shirt and tie. This is strange, illogical and somewhat silly, but it will certainly amuse you and control your anger will be much easier.

Important! Humor is one of the most rewarding ways. This is due to the fact that funny words and objects require more work from the brain, as a result of which there are simply no resources left for processing negative emotions.

Go in for sports

Another recommendation on how to learn to control your emotions and not get nervous is execution. Many people who are actively exercising or just doing, notice an improvement in mood and a boost of vivacity for the whole day.

The fact is that with physical exertion, the body begins to produce endorphins and they, in turn, contribute. Going in for sports, you can additionally set yourself some specific goal. For example, the number of kilometers you want to cover, or the number of approaches per.

Thus, having achieved what you want, you can increase your self-esteem. If you think that active sports are not for you, you can just in the park, or do some work on your garden plot, if there is one.

It is important that this is not a burden, you do not need to force yourself. During physical activity, the body temperature rises slightly, and this has a calming effect on the body of most people.

Important! If you imitate this or that emotion for a long time, a person will be seized by these feelings for real. This applies to both negative emotions (anger, disgust) and positive ones.

Work with your imagination

During an argument, you may want to raise your voice or even hit your opponent. The main reason for such negative manifestations is the accumulation of emotions within oneself. Play with your imagination. Imagine everything that you would like to say and do with the interlocutor in your head.

For example, if you are a woman and are very offended by your spouse, it is not at all necessary to be angry all day and be ready to pounce on your husband as soon as he crosses the threshold. Play an entire movie in your mind. What would you say to him, what would you hear in response? Imagine how you throw a crystal vase at him, it flies two centimeters from him, dodges.

Think through all the smallest details... So you can kill two birds with one stone. Firstly, mentally you will already throw out all your negativity on your spouse, and he will not suffer from this. Most likely, after that you will not want to quarrel with him "the second time" when he comes home. And secondly, imagining such an absurd situation in your head, you may just feel funny and the negativity that tortures you will come to naught.

Did you know? A person feels this or that emotion for a time from a split second to several minutes. Unfortunately, negative emotions can last much longer.

Another way to work with your imagination is to imagine that you are surrounded by an impenetrable fence, a wall. And all the negativity that is directed in your direction is broken, hitting this obstacle. It doesn't matter how this wall will look and what material it will be made of.

Perhaps it will be transparent and airy. The main thing is that behind this wall you feel completely calm and safe. You can also imagine that you have a lightning rod, with the help of which you, like a thunderstorm, divert any negative actions from yourself.

Write on paper

How quickly you can learn to control yourself and not get angry, and not get nervous about any reason, directly depends on whether you can identify your emotional stimuli... People are all different, and each person can be upset and upset for different reasons. First of all, you need to understand what exactly causes such unpleasant emotions in you.

Keeping a journal can help. There you need to not only write down that you are upset, but indicate the specific circumstances that upset you. What exactly happened? How did you feel at a particular moment? How did you react? How would you like to react differently? This way of keeping a diary will teach you to analyze your emotions and control them in the future.

In case you are offended by your loved one, try to write to him. Of course, it is not necessary to send it, but it is worth writing. Describe in as much detail as possible what exactly does not suit you, what upsets, what you would like to change. Such an exercise will help to put your thoughts in order and release emotions outward, without harming either loved ones or your body.

For those who love to draw, I recommend splashing out your feelings on paper. There you can draw whatever bothers you... Draw a funny cartoon of a subject that annoys you. Draw the circumstances that will relieve you of discontent and make you happy.

Follow your thoughts

A person's thoughts have a huge impact on his condition and well-being, so it is very important to monitor them. Thinking constantly about problems and negative aspects, you can attract only negative emotions to yourself all your life.

As you can see, learning to restrain emotions is not so difficult. It is important to accept the existence of the problem and use at least some of the proposed methods to solve it.

"If you hate, then you have been defeated"
(c) Confucius

Would you agree that without emotions you would be bored?

Emotions make life rich and interesting. And, at the same time, they are capable of destroying your psyche, health, destiny ...

To prevent this from happening, you need understand, accept and manage by their emotions.

This is confirmed by spiritual sources:

"You must strive for emotional harmony and tranquility within the illusory world of the higher fourth dimension as you try to adapt to the mental plane of the lower fifth dimensional environment."

(c) Archangel Michael through Ronna Herman. May 2015

How achieve emotional harmony? Read the article and a lot will become clear to you.

How emotions and feelings differ

First, let's look at the concepts emotions and feelings, connection and differences between them.

Emotion- this is impulsive reaction person to the current event. It is a short-term condition and reflects the attitude towards the event. Comes from lat. emovere - to excite, excite.

Feeling Is an emotional experience that reflects steady attitude person to the world around, significant people and objects. Feelings are not related to a specific situation.

Character is a set of human qualities that affect behavior and reactions in various life situations.

To summarize: emotions, as opposed to feelings, situational, it is a temporary experience of the immediate present moment. Simply put, we perceive the world around us with feelings, and react to it with emotions.

Consider this For example football fans during the match.

The feeling of love, interest in this sport (this is their constant state) brought them to the game.

And in the very process of the match, they experience short-term emotions: enjoyment and admiration for the game, joy of victory or disappointment in defeat.

As a rule, we feel Soul, but we express our beliefs with emotions.

Also, through emotions are manifested our feelings(joy at the sight of a loved one, anger at the sight of a "hated enemy").

At the same time, emotions and feelings are situational may not match or contradict each other. Example: Mom is angry with a deeply beloved child.

Depending on the character, people show different emotions in the same situations.

For example: the company's profit has fallen.

If the owner is positive in life man, he will be a little upset, but he will quickly pull himself together and will begin to act... He will open up an attitude towards the problem as a motivation for creativity.

In a weaker-minded person, the same situation will cause state of apathy, inactivity, depression.

If you get depressed, depressed for no particular reason, and even unwillingness to live - what can this mean?

Like unbalanced emotions
ruining your life

What happens if you don't know or don't want to understand and control your emotions?

Relationships with people deteriorate

In a person caught up in emotions dulls sensitivity to the people around him, even to those close to him.

Therefore, people in an "agitated" state manage to tell each other a lot of unpleasant and even hurting words.

Habitual emotional response shapes your mood and character.

For example, if you are not dealing with your resentment, the “victim character” will be formed... You will react sharply to the slightest remarks from others, enter into frequent conflicts, and then feel unhappy and depressed.

Your performance is falling

You waste your energy resources endless exhausting experiences.

As a result, you may simply not have enough strength for your implementation and achieving success.

Write down times in your life when emotions unsettled you. How did you deal with it?

A non-standard approach to problem solving ... a 3-step algorithm.

Your attitude towards yourself is getting worse

An excess of negative emotions creates the belief that “everything is wrong in life” or “everyone is against me”.

As a result, you have self-esteem falls... You can judge and blame yourself, even get depressed.

Your health is destroyed

Uncontrolled emotions play a large role in the onset of many diseases. It is called psychosomatics.

Surely you are familiar with the expression "the disease developed on a nervous basis"?

This happens when

• excessive emotional response(hysterical, winding yourself up),
• looping on negative emotions (when you feel constantly guilty or resentful),
• denial and suppression your emotions (“you can't be angry with your mother”).

Detailed deciphering of the meaning of diseases from Louise Hay

And to deny, and to wind up your emotions is not an option. So you just ruin your life and make it unbearable.

If you want to achieve success in life, you need to learn understand and control your emotions.

How to manage your emotions

It is possible to make a quality decision to get out of any difficult situation if you are able to emotional balance... The only way you soberly evaluates e what is happening and are able to adequately act.

1. Recognize the presence of an emotion and name it

To work with emotions, you must first acknowledge their existence.

Learn to name your emotions: I am angry, I am sad, I am happy. Look for shades of emotional states - there are over a hundred of them!

Admit at least to myself that you have “negative”, “disapproved” emotions: cowardice, gloating, curiosity to delve into other people's secrets ...

If you are not fully aware of your feelings, then you do not understand what role emotions play. for you personally.

WITH accepting any of your emotions the ability to control them begins.

Otherwise, for any similar situations you will be forced to experience an emotional outburst and walk endlessly in circles.

2. Analyze what your emotions are talking about

Learn to be aware of what essence and value your emotions, especially “negative” ones.

• About what signal your experiences?
• What do they pay your Attention?
• What is worth thinking about?
• What should be changed?

Be honest with yourself when answering these questions.

Perhaps resentment indicates need for recognition and anger protects against the destructive person in your life.

Or maybe you are used to hysterical behavior to get wish from intractable people? In this case, it is worth looking for other options ...

Once you understand the value behind the outburst of emotion, they automatically subside.

3. Do not take on a personal account

Learn not to take on personal account everything that happens to you.

If your husband or boss shouted at you, this does not mean that you are guilty of something.

Perhaps they are in a bad mood, this has nothing to do with you personally. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Don't get sucked into this negativity by reacting with emotion. resentment or anger... However, you have the right to calmly and correctly defend your borders.

4. Apply meditation and spiritual practices

If you are prone to emotional outbursts or long-term experiences, you have a high sensitivity - learn to calm down even in the most difficult situations.

This helps meditations... Even after a short practice, you will feel relaxation, the heat of emotions will subside.

Regular meditation will tune your brain to think more positively.

During meditation, the brain changes the frequency of electrical impulses into deep and calm alpha waves. They cause a state of peace and relaxation in a person.

Another simple and effective technique is breathing. Take a deep breath and exhale into the ground several times.

5. Act in a new way

Train yourself to react in new ways to habitual“Negative” situations.

For example, you can try to translate the impending scandal into a joke, and thus, discharge environment.

Simple Practices on How to Get Out of an Emotionally Tense Situation

If it does not occur to you how to act differently, practice this in a playful way (for example, at trainings). You can get inspiration from books, films.

6. Understand the nature of emotions

Read books and articles about emotions: why they arise, how they affect the body and mind.

Every person given the opportunity keep yourself in a positive mood.

Deliberate a person knows how to control himself, track and manage his emotions.

Not to suppress emotions, but to understand the reasons for their occurrence both in yourself and in those around you.

And by this, manage your life, creating more happiness and inner harmony in it!

P.S. Perhaps the most important step to emotional healing is learning to to forgive your offenders, letting go of the pain of your past.

Emotions are manifestations of our mood. Sometimes they give us away. I believe that controlling emotions is an important skill. And this is not at all about being closed and gloomy. It's just that emotions often play a cruel joke with us. They can offend or humiliate, they run faster than our thoughts, and even faster than the language.

We must always think about our emotions so that it is easier for ourselves and those around us. How many conflicts, how many quarrels were started due to the fact that people could not restrain their emotions. For examples, you can see famous works.

In Sholokhov's story "The Fate of a Man", the main character is captured, where it is very difficult for him. The Nazis mock him, laugh, make him betray his homeland.

But the soldier is strong and brave. He knows how to control his emotions. Andrei Sokolov did not show his weakness. He boldly looked enemies in the face, and then fled from them.

Another example is the story of Levin from the novel Anna Karenina by Tolstoy. Konstantin Levin is in love with Kitty. He made an offer to her, but was rejected. Levin did not whip up the atmosphere, did not put the girl in an awkward position, but silently left. Everything inside him was boiling. He was saddened. But his ability to stay calm showed him in the best light. And after a while, fate was favorable. He nevertheless became Kitty's husband.

All of this suggests that controlling your emotions is an important step to success in any area. We must understand how we behave, where and what we can afford. And works of art are great life textbooks that detail these issues.

Effective preparation for the exam (all subjects) - start preparing

Updated: 2017-04-24

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Greetings to readers. In this article I will explain. It will be about how not to succumb to your feelings, your mood and state of mind, to maintain a sobriety of mind and make the right decisions, and not act "on emotions." The article is quite long, since the topic requires it, this is even, in my opinion, the smallest thing that can be written on this topic, so you can read the article in several approaches. Here you will also find many links to other materials on my blog, and before starting to study them, I advise you to read this page to the end, and then delve deeper into reading other articles on the links, since in this article I still skimmed "to the top »(You can open the materials on the links in other tabs of your browser and then start reading).

So, before talking about practice, let me speculate about why you need to control your emotions at all and whether you can do it at all. Are our feelings something beyond our control that we can never deal with? Let's try to figure it out.

Feelings and emotions in culture

Western mass culture is thoroughly saturated with an atmosphere of emotional dictatorship, the power of feelings over human will. In films, we constantly see how heroes, driven by passionate impulses, commit some crazy deeds and this, sometimes, is the basis of the whole plot. The characters in the films quarrel, break down, get angry, shout at each other, sometimes even for no particular reason. Some uncontrollable whim often leads them to their goal, to their dream: be it a thirst for revenge, envy or a desire to have power. Of course, films do not consist entirely of this, I am not going to criticize them for this, because it is just an echo of the culture, which is that emotions are often put at the forefront.

This is especially noticeable in classical literature (and even classical music, I'm not talking about theater): the past centuries were much more romantic than our era. The heroes of classical works were distinguished by a great emotional disposition: they fell in love, then they stopped loving, then they hated, then they wanted to command.

And so, between these emotional extremes, the stage of the hero's life, described in the novels, passed. I also will not criticize the great classics for this, they are wonderful, in terms of artistic value, works and they simply reflect the culture that they were generated by.

But, nevertheless, such a view of things, which we see in many works of world culture, is not only a consequence of the social worldview, but also indicates the further path of the movement of culture. Such a sublime, servile attitude towards human emotions in books, music and films forms the belief that our feelings are not controlled, this is what is outside our control, they determine our behavior and our character, they are given to us by nature and we are not we can change anything.

We believe that the whole individuality of a person is reduced to only a set of passions, whims, vices, complexes, fears and emotional impulses. We used to think of ourselves in this manner, "I'm hot-tempered, I'm greedy, I'm shy, I'm nervous and I can't do anything about it."

We are constantly looking for an excuse for our actions in our feelings, relieving ourselves of any responsibility: “Well, I acted on emotions; when I am irritated, I become uncontrollable; Well, that's the kind of person I am, I can’t do anything about it, it’s in my blood, etc. ”. We treat our emotional world as an element beyond our control, a seething ocean of passions, in which a storm will begin, as soon as a weak breeze blows (after all, this is the case with the heroes of books and films). We easily follow the lead of our feelings, because we are what we are and cannot be otherwise.

Of course, we began to see this as the norm, even, moreover, dignity and virtue! Excessive sensitivity we call and think about it almost as a personal merit of the bearer of such a "spiritual type"! We reduce the whole concept of great artistic skill to the level of depicting the movement of emotions, which is expressed in theatrical poses, pretentious gestures and the demonstration of mental anguish.

We no longer believe that there is an opportunity to gain control over ourselves, to make informed decisions, and not to be a puppet of our desires and passions. Does this belief have a good foundation?

I don't think so. The impossibility of controlling feelings is a common myth generated by our culture and our psychology. It is possible to control emotions, and the experience of many people who have learned to be in harmony with their inner world speaks in favor of this, they managed to make feelings their allies, and not masters.

This article will focus on managing emotions. But I will talk not only about controlling emotions, such as anger, irritation, but also about controlling states, (laziness, boredom) and uncontrollable physical needs, (lust, gluttony). Since all this has a common basis. Therefore, if I further speak about emotions or feelings by this I immediately mean all irrational human motives, and not just the emotions themselves in the strict sense of the word.

Why do you need to control your emotions at all?

Of course, feelings can and should be controlled. But why do this? Very easy to become freer and happier. Emotions, if you do not take control over them, take control, which is fraught with all sorts of rash actions, which you later regret. They prevent you from acting wisely and correctly. Also, knowing about your emotional habits, it is easier to control other people: to play on your self-esteem, if you are vain, to use your insecurity to impose your will.

Emotions are spontaneous and unpredictable, they can take you by surprise at the most crucial moment and interfere with your intentions. Imagine a faulty car that is still driving, but you know that at any moment at high speed something can break down and this will lead to an imminent accident. Are you going to feel confident behind the wheel of such a car? Also, uncontrollable feelings can come at any time and cause the most unpleasant consequences. Remember how many troubles you experienced because you could not stop the excitement, calm your anger, overcome shyness and insecurity.

The spontaneous nature of emotions makes it difficult to move towards long-term goals, since sudden outbursts of the sensual world constantly introduce deviations in your life course, forcing you to turn one way or the other at the first call of passions. How can you realize your true purpose when you are constantly distracted by emotions?

In such a continuous rotation of sensory flows, it is difficult to find yourself, to realize your deepest desires and needs, which will lead you to happiness and harmony, since these flows are constantly pulling you in different directions, away from the center of your being!

Strong, uncontrollable emotions are like a drug that paralyzes the will and puts you in bondage.

The ability to control your emotions and states will make you independent (from your experiences and from the people around you), free and confident, will help you achieve your goal and achieve your goals, since feelings will no longer completely control your mind and determine your behavior.

In fact, it is sometimes very difficult to fully assess the negative impact of emotions on our life, since we are under their power every day and it seems quite difficult to look through the veil of heaped desires and passions. Even our most ordinary actions carry an emotional imprint, and you yourself may not suspect about it. It can be very difficult to abstract from this state, but, anyway, I will probably talk about it later.

How is emotion management different from emotion suppression?

Meditate!

Meditation is a very valuable exercise in controlling emotions, in developing will and awareness. Those who have been reading my blog for a long time may miss this, since I have already written about meditation in many articles, and here I will not write anything fundamentally new about it, but if you are new to my materials, then I strongly advise you to pay attention to this ...

From all that I have listed, meditation, in my opinion, is the most effective tool for controlling your state, both emotional and physical. Remember the equanimity of yogis and oriental sages who spent many hours in meditation. Well, since we are not yogis, it is not worth meditating all day, but you need to spend 40 minutes a day on it.

Meditation is not magic, not magic, not religion, it is as proven exercise for your mind as exercise is for the body. Only meditation, unfortunately, is not so popular in our culture, which is a pity ...

Managing emotions isn't just about stopping them. It is also necessary to maintain such a state in which strong negative emotions simply do not arise, or, if they do, they are subject to mind control. This is the state of calm, sober mind and peace that meditation gives you.

2 sessions of meditation a day, over time, will teach you to manage your feelings much better, not to succumb to passions and not to fall in love with vices. Try it and you will understand what I am talking about. And most importantly, meditation will help you to abstract from the constant emotional veil that envelops your mind and prevents you from taking a sober look at yourself and your life. This is the difficulty that I talked about at the beginning. Regular practice of meditation will help you to cope with this task.

There is a whole article about that on my website and you can read it at the link. I highly recommend doing this! This will make it much easier for you to achieve the task of finding harmony and balance with your inner world. It will be very difficult without this!

What to do when emotions get overwhelmed?

Suppose that you are overtaken by violent emotions that are difficult to cope with. What to do in such situations?

1. Realize that you are under the pressure of emotions, so you need to take action and not twist things.
2. Calm down, relax (they will help you to relax), remember that your actions now may be irrational because of the feelings overwhelming you, so postpone making decisions, talking, for another time. Calm down first. Try to analyze the situation soberly. Take responsibility for your feelings. Define this emotion within a generalized class (Ego, weakness, desire for pleasure) or more specifically (pride, laziness, shyness, etc.).
3. Depending on the situation, either do the opposite of what makes you do the current state. Or just ignore him, behave as if he is not there. Or just take proactive measures so as not to do unnecessary stupidity (about this I gave an example about the feeling of falling in love, at the beginning of the article: let it become a pleasant emotion, and not turn into an uncontrollable state that will push you to decisions that you will later regret ).
4. Drive away all thoughts, born of this emotion, do not bury your head in them. Even if you successfully dealt with the initial emotional outburst, this is not all: you will still be overcome by thoughts that return your mind to this experience. Forbid yourself to think about it: every time thoughts about feeling come - drive them away. (for example, you were rude in traffic, you don’t need to spoil your mood because of accidental rudeness, forbid yourself to think about all the injustice of this situation (stop the mental flow "and he is so and so, because he is wrong ..."), because this is stupid. to music or other thoughts)

Try to analyze your emotions. What caused them? Do you really need these experiences or are they just getting in the way? Is it so smart to be angry over trifles, to envy, to gloat, to be lazy and discouraged? Do you really need to constantly prove something to someone, try to be the best everywhere (which is impossible), strive to get as much pleasure as possible, be lazy and grieve? What will your life be like in the absence of these passions?

And how can the lives of those close to you change when they cease to be the target of your negative feelings? And what will become of your life if no one harbors malevolent motives towards you? Well, the latter is no longer entirely in your power (but only "not quite", after all, I am writing this article, which will be read by many people, so I can do something for this ;-)), but you can still train yourself not to react to the surrounding negativity, let people who are filled with it keep it with them, instead of will not pass it on to you.

Do not postpone this analysis until later. Train yourself to think, to reason about your experiences from the standpoint of reason and common sense. Each time, after a strong experience, think about whether you need it, what it gave you and what it took away, who it hurt, how it made you behave. Realize how much your emotions limit you, how they control you and force you to do things that you would never do in your right mind.

This is where I will end this long article about how to control your emotions... I wish you success in this endeavor. I hope all the material on my site will help you with this.